All comics by HollywoodStew

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by HollywoodStew
3-14-04
Sasquatch sightings search...
Boogyman haunting search...
Weapons of Mass Destruction search...
George W's service record search...
Impossible! It's like finding a needle in a haystack!
More like a bomb in the desert...

 

by HollywoodStew
3-14-04
Matt, I don't know WHY you go to these extremes.
There's foul play afoot!
It just seems that you take some things so seriously, man.
There's no escape from it all!
It's 8 months till the election and they're already fighting like 4 year olds!!

 

by HollywoodStew
3-15-04
In the darkest of night the pure of heart shall overcome their oppressors thus freeing themselves of the slavery which has condemned them for years. Thus the tyrannical shall fall.
LOOK AT THE CUTE WITTLE BIRDIE WIRDIE! IT'S YELLOW AND BRIGHT AND HAPPY!!!
Note to self: continue switching TicTacs with Prozac...

 

by HollywoodStew
3-15-04
Did you watch the Oscars?
Sure did! But for all that money in a Pirate movie? What a waste.
It was a great movie. It appealed to audiences no matter what. Budget has nothing to do with it.
Oh really?! Somehow I get the feeling that LOW budget Pirates wouldn't get as much fame.
Everyone's a critic.
ARRR! I be tellin' ya i don't make this stuff up!

 

by HollywoodStew
3-15-04
HEY THERE!! Have I EVER told you HOW much I LOVE my pussy?? He's my little SPECIAL pussy! I love to stroke and touch and feed him!
Christ, here we go again...
There's so MANY things to DO with a pussy! You can wash it, love it, grasp it, nuzzle it....just so MANY!!!
Anthony the Gay Pussy Lover. The Happiest Man on Earth. The Most Gleeful Individual! Kinda reminds me of Rush Limbaugh before he got busted...now that's a happy man.
Time for Mr. Tinkle to take a PIDDLE!!! After THAT I'll give YOU a TONGUE bath...then YOU can do ME!!! You are SUCH a CUTE pussy! Yes you ARE!!
Maybe he'll choke on a furball.

 

by HollywoodStew
3-16-04
As you can see, the upstairs is in great condition and the roof has been reshingled. The basement doesn't leak and the plumbing is perfectly fine. Good clean neighborhood and plenty of great schools!
Then...who is be selling the house mister man?
Goddamn i hate my job...
....R Kelly....

 

by HollywoodStew
3-16-04
Dear PunkkRoccPrincez, You have been officially banned for being a psychological mishap to the human race. Plus you can't type or spell grammer accurately. Case in Point: Go away.
Well, no place like home...

 

by HollywoodStew
3-18-04
I gotta talk about something that's been bothering me.
I sign online, all happy, looking forward to emails, cuz they're like little christmas presents.
Then BAM, I'm hit with dozens of pop-ups whose SOUL intention is to either make me buy something i don't want OR help me "please certain ladies" in my life.
Seriously, how am i to enjoy my web browsing?! I swear to God i'll NEVER use the internet again. Porn isn't THAT worth it. I'm a nice guy, i can find girls. I don't need awesome sweaty porn!!
**Inner Monologue**
....grab your dick and double click for porn, porn, porn....

 

by HollywoodStew
3-04-05
Hey, do you know what a hummer is?
A car?
No silly, it's when a girl goes down on a guy and hums.
......
Do you take song requests?

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