All comics by ICY

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by ICY
10-16-01
Esat Fusion are at it again
Dear Customer,It has come to our attention that our sevice has been working efficentlly for you these past 6 months
we wish to correct this by disconnecting you from the interenet service,frying your hard drive and billing you for 5 months after we cut you off
Oh shit
thank you for your time and money..we hope you burn in hell,your PC will now self distruct-Customer Care Dept. Esat Fusion

 

by ICY
4-02-02
ICY tries to figure Bunkster out...
I wonder if Bunksters obsession with everything anal and gastro related has got to do with a latent degree of homo-eroticism thats been manifested in a perverse manner...
*Bunkster loves his ass
This may not be a good idea..
Bunk..do you think..
*Bunkster splatters ICY with brown ass-liquid repeatedly
..this is just fucking stupid...
*ICY returns the favour
mmm you've been eating curry again

 

by ICY
4-02-02
ICY Presents:Things never to allow happen #256
Leave Lyam and a goat in the same room...
Its just not right
We learned the hard way and boy is it hard to get goat semen out of the carpet

 

by ICY
4-02-02
A hammer,nails,a swedish guy and waaay too much coffee....
Valle I warned you...that if u tried to leave I'd have to nail your arse to the 10:34 to Stockholm
I didnt want to do it...but you left me no choice
So this is the 10:34 to Stockholm then?
Just for that........I'm gonna get sandpaper..
*grumble*

 

by ICY
4-02-02
Cepe's evil scheme is discovered...
cepe....
hmmm?
Have you been putting mind altering subsances in my coffee again?
I might have...
Thank God! I thought the interior decorator had gone blind or something
Is that a talking kebab?

 

by ICY
4-02-02
Beer & Observational Comedy = Stienfeld
So whats the deal with women's cycles synchronising??
I mean it's a strange feat of nature that numerous women surf the 'crimson tide' simultaneously if in close proximity for a long time
What..is God giving us all a little taste of the apocolypse? "Oh no!Not THAT TIME AGAIN...I'm sorry!I repent,I won't just give creamed corn to the canned food drives anymore.."

 

by ICY
4-02-02
This cant end well...
Ok Oye,what did u want to show me,that you could only show me in your sound proofed bedroom with the door locked and bolted?
Err...its a talking kebab I found
A talking kebab! WoW,where is it?
It's over there on the floor...just bend over the edge of the chair over there...you dont mind if I just get this tub of vaseline do you?
All I see is some lint and a scared looking spider...
Now in order to see the kebab you need a special 'interface plugin'...

 

by ICY
4-02-02
ICY and Sky go off to the country
It's good to get out back to nature now and again
Mmmm..fresh air..no people..no computers...no etherial discussion boards to spam endlessly
Are you as scared as I am?
Let's go find some internet cafe and get you some hot porn and spam STAT!
I love these little trips of ours

 

by ICY
4-02-02
Revenge ICY style
Hey is this the womens toilet?
YES HU-MAN FEMALE
He-He-He
Cheers,thanks!
That'll teach that photo-booth to take my money

 

by ICY
4-02-02
Beware of #spacehamsters members with sand,shovels and a lifetime subscription to "Cement Shoes Weekly"
Feckin hell! What happened to you
I was talking to deffeh on #spacehamsters and said "Nu Metal isn't all that bad"
Jesus,when Deffeh wants to win an argument he pulls out all the stops

 

by ICY
4-02-02
After his arrest at Oye's house ICY get's to grip with his new life...
Im gonna make you my bitch!
What are you in for anyway?
I killed a man with a kebab
!
Ooo look,kebabs for dinner!

 

by ICY
4-04-02
He who challanges death,and wins,shall have dominion over it...
How about a game of 20 questions?
Err...ok..shoot
Is it a man?
yeah
Is it Jimmie Hendrix?
Shit! Err...I mean...no

 

by ICY
4-04-02
Our hero now 0wns death...
I thought you'd be taller...
I get that a lot
Do I get like 3 wishes..can I have a house made out of canned spam?
No,fs,that's a leprechaun...
What DO I get then?
Life,sanctury from the grim spectre of death and a free frozen yogurt

 

by ICY
4-04-02
And still it goes on...
So what...do I stay here and just survive the crash now or what?
Nah,it'd be hard to explain you surviving when this baby's going down so hard you could call it Ms. Lewiniski
I am made of metal you know
With a nick like ICY I always assumed you were made of frozen water or something
Or you were Vanilla Ice's little brother or something

 

by ICY
4-04-02
You sure say "Or something" quite a bit dont you"
With no real conversation other than"Oh God no","please Im too young to die" and "I always thought you'd be taller" it's hard to keep track of your conversational infelctions and overused phrases
What the....where are we
Im not sure but we broke the frame...look were disembodied torso's floating above a sea
Cool,how'd you do that?
Jedi mind powers

 

by ICY
4-04-02
Finally...
Hey Bunkster..
Where the hell were you?
I was hangin around with Death,he's pretty ok for a short guy
You missed Kael's gf whipping him into a bloody pulp then spending an hour trying to untangle her whip from his tesitcles
Dammit I always miss the good stuff
Dont worry I got screen captures and I made a gif :D

 

by ICY
4-04-02
Seven0f9 get's the Lyam treatment...in #spacehamsters again...
Seven:Hey,all I said was yer gf is nice
Lyam:You want to have a threesome?We've got the vaseline but you'll have to bring your own saddle...
Seven:Err...it doesnt sound that appealing to me
Lyam:C'mon,I'll even let you stroke my afro!
Can't you just feel the love?
Seven:wOOhOO yer on m8!I'll bring the camcorder!
*Lyam \o/

 

by ICY
4-05-02
What deed of villany preceded such a situation...
See prison isn't so bad..
What if I drop the soap in the shower
Just remember how much good we did the world by killing all the members of Westlife

 

by ICY
4-07-02
ICY and the psychotropic roundabout....
With the benefit of hinsight I realise a litre of diet coke and 2 distilgesic were a slightly erronious combination for a quiet night in
However,this mood is conducive to the wit based comic satire that I partake in on occassion
Uh-oh,I think I just turned into Frasier

 

by ICY
4-07-02
This man's army
So your off to become a man then?
Yeah,apparently being screamed at,run into fit's of exhaustion and gang-raped in the shower is a healthy experience
You all packed?
Yep,soap-on-a-rope,a close haircut and an electrified chastity belt
Is your company motto "Be prepared for pain you ass raping bitch"?
I thought that was the girl-scouts!?

 

by ICY
4-08-02
Spleunking hell!
Im frankly scared Bunkster
Yeah,I think we're lost
What the hell do we do now?
Well I think provisionally,Im gonna do a bit of claustrophobicaly enduced panicing,then I might knaw my foot off and try to bleed to death b4 I suffocate
When Antioch offered to show us his tight man-cave,I thought something quite different
You and me both ICY,you and me both

 

by ICY
4-17-02
This happened in work today..
Right FINALLY this PC's coming around,3 formats,2 kicks in the head and a partridge in a pear tree...just have to load windows on,now I can go fer a cuppa
SIGN:DO NOT TOUCH PC,INSTALLING WINDOWS,THIS MEANS YOU
Then what I like to call the "Factory Floor Monkeys" came along...
The networked printer here's not working,fs,I'll bet that fking IT guy's been at it,I'll reboot it,that cures everything
20 mins later...

 

by ICY
4-18-02
Death becomes her...
Hey,IT guy somethings wrong with the PC...
I was installing windows on the PC from scratch and someone rebooted it before it finished,it's dead as a doornail,I'll have to start all over
So you broke it,I knew it,I had to turn it off earlier becuase of you,you IT guys shouldnt be left near our PC's
You seem to have a death wish you inbred hick,I'd be happy to introduce you to some very sharp objects if you like

 

by ICY
4-18-02
Right after the power cut today...
IT guy,that power cuts screwed up things in our office,non of our PC's are working
So what...just you PC's are dead?
No you idiot listen!I said the power's gone completely,the lights as well..
Do I look like an engineer??Does it say 'ENGINEERING' above this dept?!They deal with things like this,what am I supposed to do,reformat the light bulb?

 

by ICY
5-02-02
After encouraging users to phone me for tech support..
My PC has an error message coming up.."Cannot contact server"
Hmmm,ok in the bottom left of the screen can you see the 'ok' box displayed?
Yeah I see it,by the way,how can you see my screen from all the way up there?

 

by ICY
5-09-02
It's my birthday today
What....that's it..GO AWAY

 

by ICY
5-09-02
ICY joins #ostraka
Hey DarkAngel,nice room you got here..can I play with my toys in the corner?
Well babe not really,this channel is here to escape all the childish ppl on the IRC and provide a forum for more intellectual conversation..
What's the current topic?
Which is better,red or orange lifesavers...

 

by ICY
5-09-02
After knowing each other and having been in the same allliance fer months and months previously ChessMaster's world is shattered...
Hey ChessMaster,long time no see,hows the quest to be grand master coming along?
..shattered is maybe too extreme a word...
Err..what's up,you look like you've been forced to watch Rosanne Barr and Madeline Albright get it on in a tub of baked beans...
Hey can't a guy pretend that he's somewhat important without your accusations...just leave me alone..Im calling the cops
Oh thats right,you thought I was female...yeah I've a penis...under this very short kilt,so how was your day?

 

by ICY
5-09-02
Hey cepe...do something funny so I can do a strip on it
Now way...Im not doing anything..I'll just get a comic strip blaming me for some horrible deed...
Your pretty much running that risk no matter what you do

 

by ICY
5-09-02
Oh crap..
I bet I get blamed for this...
That's the guy officer...

 

by ICY
5-09-02
Mr.ICY,I'm with the Board of Comic Strip Standards and it has come to our attention that most of your strips have been bland and unfunny..
Please rectify the situation immediatly or we will be forced to shut you down,lobotomise the creative centre of your brain and tie you to a lamppost to prevent you wandering into traffic...
Right...no pressure

 

by ICY
5-29-02
Some frank critisism..
Arch, is there anything WRONG with my strips?Im getting flamed alot..by forum & IRC ppl..
What seem's to be their problem?
..not by anyone actually named 'frank' you inderstand..
The fact that my jokes dont contain the words "Ass bitch shit ass" over and over, it confuses them
Go low brow for a while..just try and put yourself in the mind of a 15 year old virgin who spends his life on the net..
....it's just a figure of speech..like 'bite me' and 'Im afraid youve been diagnosed with micropenis syndrome'...
Im scared...and I feel the need to swear,wank and hate my parents..
Good your transition to the dark side is almost complete

 

by ICY
5-29-02
Maybe I should have thought that through a bit more..
Dear Mr.Forum Critic,please be nicer to my strip..By the way I have my puppy
..err...no I mean..
..I have *your* puppy...I dont have my puppy..

 

by ICY
5-29-02
I think it's broken..
Your the strangest damn puppy I've ever seen,,no wonder he doesn't want you back

 

by ICY
5-29-02
Is that all it does? No fetch? No barking? No trying to hump your leg into a bloody pulp?
Try hitting him across the head with that stick. He might so something then
Ooo..he didn't like that..
GOD HELP ME AGggghhhHhhh

 

by ICY
5-30-02
Hey Vampy,Im kinda supprised,you've not been attention seeking all day..your thread's seem reasonable..
Yeah I'm just a normal goth accountant..
Maybe all those things people were saying about you wern't true..well nice meeting you..
See you later...
I HEARD THAT!
(*whisper* look at me)

 

by ICY
6-08-02
Plugging away...
Hey DarkAngel did u see my new comic strip at www.czarcasm.com?
Hey Bunkster did u see my new comic strip at www.czarcasm.com?
Hey TV Set did u see my new comic strip at www.czarcasm.com?

 

by ICY
6-08-02
Hey Entari did you..
SHUT UP! Shut up...shut up..shut up..shut up..shut up..shut up...shut the FUCK up
*sigh*
Hey Entari did you see..
AUGH!

 

by ICY
8-14-02
Ok..e-a-s-e back into it...
Hey DarkAngel,I heard you got a ickle kitten?!
Yep,a little runt called Spookie but I wUb her!
Note: This is not funny,in any way,I apologise
Is "wUb" even a word?
It is if your kitten is insanely cute
Note: Please proceed to the back of the cabin where soup and sandwitches are being served
What if it's in reference to something else like..."I wUb britney porn"
Err...you could say it but you'd look like a fluffy little pervert...

 

by ICY
8-14-02
A crossover classic!
Bunkster! You gotta help me,you put me in your comic called 'HEAD',now I have a small asian girl permantly stuck by her lip's to my cock!
Really?What's it like?
...replace 'classic' with 'piece of crap'
Well it was fun at first but now it's starting to chaffe a bit and I'm now banned from the local shopping centre...
Did you try spinning around and trying to fling her off?
It works better I swear
Yeah but she just hung there and knocked over my lamp,kinda tingled though..
I gotta get me one of them!

 

by ICY
8-14-02
Pullover to the side of the strip...
Ok punk,that's one count of changing character image resulting in confusion for reader's...
I dont hear any complaint's....do you Mr.FacistCapitalisticToolOfSatan UsingExcessiveForce?
Alright...just for that I'm gonna whoop yer ass while handcuffed back at the station...now ICY..how do you spell that?

 

by ICY
8-14-02
Mirror mirror on the wall
On one hand,this character's a classic
who's the gheyest of them all
But I just can't say no to a masked killer...
Plus that robot look's kinda gay
Uhh...did my reflection just call my old look 'gay'?
Yeah,and your all out of beer.Oh and get some of those mexican dip thingy's when your out...HEY!ARE YOU STARING AT MY CROTCH!?

 

by ICY
8-14-02
#spacehamsters: idler's paradise
Deffeh,have you seen Valle about?
Yep,he's over there behind the stack of used pr0n.Why?
Oh I'm going to knife him alot,ye'know,make him,like,die and stuff
How come?
After he was deported from greece he gave them MY address as his current residence.Im now wanted for 8 counts of stealing doorknob's in athens..
This will be messy,I'll go put down a tarp.

 

by ICY
8-14-02
Later that evening...
Hey Army Oye...wanna help me nail Valle to something?
Hmm?What?Sorry I wasn't listening,I'm technically on duty at the mo'
So what's your job in the Norwegian Armed Forces then?
Oh I pass on messages we recieve from various sources,it's all very technical
So what,you use PDA's and Encrypted Radio transmission's
Err no,it's carrier pigeon,shouting loudly & pen and paper...

 

by ICY
8-14-02
Some bad jokes:
Hey,thank's for comin' out to the Old Skool ICY comedy festival..
How do you find a Blind Man in a nudist colony?...It's not hard!
*ba-Dum-Tish*
Boo! Get off!
Thank you...What are the small bumps around a woman's nipples-Its Braille for "suck here."
*ba-Dum-Tish*

 

by ICY
8-23-02
And now..a graphic illustration of writers block
Well wasn't that fun kid's?

 

by ICY
8-23-02
Office troubles :True story
Hey celine..how's things? I hear your heading back to france soon
Yeah it's a pity.I wont be able to do this when I'm over there... *SLAP*
One buttock rattling later...
Did you just slap my arse?!
Yeah,it was fun.Ok ok it's only fair you do the same to me...
*Slap*
AUUUGH! HER DAD JUST WALKED IN!!
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!

 

by ICY
8-23-02
So basically you just slapped the managing director's daughters arse right in front of him?!!
Yeah,but what could I do,she asked me to do it...she pointed it RIGHT AT ME!1
Well was that brief half second of contact with her hot arse worth your job?
Had to say...it will pay off well though,I can get some slow motion replay's of it when my life flashes b4 my eye's when I die...which is in about 5 mins
Bummer.........so was she wearing any underwear?!

 

by ICY
8-23-02
Fired or not...that is the question.
The only thing to do in this situation is to go shag celine...take her knickers and film it all
That way I have something to watch tonight as my cable is out, and I have her underware to put on my head...
Im gonna go talk to someone else...

 

by ICY
9-03-02
*** Now talking in #Spacehamsters*** Topic is 'I'm back ppl..... ~ PH33R ~ | don't your asses hurt just thinking about it?'*** Set by Bunkster
Just when the word 'ASS' thought it was safe....
Teh Bunksters back...
Oh,wait...does this mean we have to put back on our chastity belts?

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