All comics by Interlocking_Man

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One day, in tingly-wingly pixie-wixie land...
I think this is yours.
I think this is yours.

 

The Night Before the Test...
Hey S-teve, k-han you drive me too Wendy's? Um rheally hungry...
I don't have a driver's license, Kyle, remember?
Hey S-teve, k-han you drive me too Wendy's? Um rheally hungry...
I don't even have a learner's permit yet.
Seven Years Later...
Hey S-teve, k-han you drive me too Wendy's? Um rheally hungry...
I don't have a driver's license, Kyle, remember?

 

Winter
Spring
Summer
This sucks; none of these guys fears me.

 

come down come down (force-equals-mass-times-velocity-please-see-that-i'm-sober-now) come down DEAR GOD COME THE FUCK DOWN.
Actually, force is defined as mass times accelleration.

 

All right, now, remember: if things start to go bad for me, you jump in and divert the bull's attention to yourself.
I-isn't that d-dangerous?
No, of course not. Clowns are bulls' natural predators!
But, my asymmetric arms-!
Well, look on the bright side: if you get mauled, the doctors'll probably fix that!
True, true.

 
Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, etc...
I...win!
Uhhh...

 

“Postmodernism, like modernism, follows most of these same ideas, rejecting boundaries between high and low forms of art, rejecting rigid genre distinctions, emphasizing pastiche, parody, bricolage,
irony, and playfulness. Postmodern art (and thought) favors reflexivity and self-consciousness, fragmentation and discontinuity (especially in narrative structures), ambiguity, simultaneity, and an
emphasis on the destructured, decentered, dehumanized subject. Postmodernism, in contrast, doesn't lament the idea of fragmentation, provisionality, or incoherence, but rather celebrates that.
The world is meaningless? Let's not pretend that art can make meaning then, let's just play with nonsense.” Any questions?
So, you're saying post-modernism is a bunch of hooie?
Yes.

 

I Am Arthur Schopenhaur, and this is how the World works...
I hate women.
Misery...
I suggest that you commit suicide.
That was a downer.
And its Reward...

 

Kurt, do you want to join my TTP project?
If I allow you to continue this, you'd be commiting plagiarism, Steve.
But, that's why I called it a "tribute." So people'll know.
Your brain block is sending this comic down the crapper. Do you know what that means?
I'll have to steal jokes without telling the readers?
I'd rather be your archnemesis.

 

Let's see what happens when we put two CLASSIC characters in a GOOFY situation!
The first rule of Christianity is: Don't talk about Christianity.
Right.
The second rule of Christianity is:--
Thank you, and I'll see you all in Hell!

 

Sweet, we're gonna be in the Book of World Records!

 

Okay, for your first mission...
You're going to go back to the early nineties and take control of this plane when the pilot has a heart attack.
Isn't that what a copilot's for?
Shut up; it's sci-fi.

 

14 months later...
Listen, I needed some money 14 months ago and sold the planet to an alien. I need you to kill it before it collects.
But, I'm Super Dave Osbourne
Nobody knows who I am anymore...
Well, now you'll have something to put on your tombstone.

 

Accounting major pick-up lines.
Hey there, lady!
Um, hey.
I could drive a Hummer through your loophole, if you know what I mean.
*blush*
Sweet, now I'll add worksheet A to the mix and she's mine!
Hmm, free tax filing...

 

Romeo and Juliet
Wait a minute...
You weren't REALLY dead...
WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?!

 

Hey, what are you doing here, and why are you wearing those colors?
I ain't out for thrillin' yo, I'm just out for chillin' with those who are willin'.
Oh, looks like we have a little momma's boy here!
My Momma and I happen to have a wiggidy, wiggidy whack relationship; I mean no harm if yours is an unhappy trip.
Hey, are you saying things about my mother?
I'm just doin' what's right; tryin' to keep it tight. Layin' my feet on this street just came with the beat. I apologize for our problem's sudden size.

 

Okay, I think I see your point: the tackling of our problems should be joint.
Right, without personal spite, there's no need to fight. We'll go on livin' without violent collision.
I'll spread the word to my brother, then he'll help teach our friends how to help each other.
That's cool, and next we'll show the school.
We'll forget all this haze and live out our days like a typical Sunday laze.
I agree.

 

So, when do you think we'll eat again?
I dunno, ever since Dad got fired from hunting, he's done nothing but paint the walls.
Yeah, and Mom's gathering has gone almost entirely to Dad's paint supply.
It's sick, the way he does nothing but hunting scenes.
Yeah, I hope he dies soon so we can eat him.
That'd be so great.

 

I'm kinda in a jam now. There are these two guys I want to go out with, and I don't mind the idea of going out with both of them, but...
Paul and Roger?
Yeah, Paul is fine with the idea of me going with both of them, but Roger doesn't like it.
You know what I'd do?
I'd go out with Roger, and cheat on him with Paul.

 

If you got this comic by hitting the "random" button, then let this be a warning:
What do you call dog with no hair?
what?
If you hit it again, 99 times out of 100 you'll get a comic like this. It's never pretty.
A penis!
lol
This message brought to you by the Foundation for Comic Control.

 

I've learned something about girls.
What's that?
They don't trust anybody.
I know what you mean. Like this one time, I found out my girlfriend was cheating on me. She could have just ended it, you know?
Yeah, I had a similar experience. Only she didn't trust you with your own feelings enought to let me tell you about it.
What?

 

So, this chick I know blocked me over an instant messaging protocol for abitrary reasons. I decided to block her, too, for laughs.
The first rule of the Internet: The women using it are all unstable. Stay away.
I know. But the temptation is always there.
So, do you plan on getting out of this block-lock any time soon?
Well, she uses multiple accounts to keep track of people she's blocked, so I'm thinking she's read this and therefore the answer is "never."
Sometimes I generalize the first rule to the world outside the Internet. This is one of those times.

 

Do you really think that you can eat me? I posess the power of flight.
Well, I'm a cat. Cats are more independent.
How's that help?
It makes me cooler than you. And we all know we have to follow the people that are cooler.
I'd better keep my mouth shut; he might stop letting me hang out with him...

 

http://www.mindspring.com/~toxiccow/14_0033.html
Well, Abner Stoltzfus, what do you want to do now that we're out of jail?
I do not know, Abner King Stoltzfus, what do you want to do?
I was thinking about doing something farm-related...
Ironically, so was I...
Well, I am the King, so what I say goes. Ha ha ha.
That's it; I'm done being Amish. Back to drug-dealin'.

 

Young man, you shall be my slave of pain.
.hself gnittor siht ni dog krad eht ebircsnI.
Dude! Have you seen Billy Madison?! It's the best movie ever!
Now, go someplace public and quote it endlessly.

 

Alright, it's time for today's lesson.
Where should we start?
I was thinking maybe you could tell me about Kant today.

 

In the future, we will all tell jokes like this.
Kurt, will you marry me?
Sure; who's the lucky guy?
Haven't you ever heard of LOVE?
Love is a four-letter word where I come from.
I don't know what I ever saw in you.
Well, it depends on what I ate before you saw me.

 

 
Just think that, down there, somebody just got hit by my massive loogie.

 

Do you guys sell fast food here?
Yes, sir!
Well, you'd better hurry up, or else you won't have anything to sell! Heh. Because, you know, "fast food.." Ehhhhhhhhhhh...
We reserve the right to deny service to anyone.

 

http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/r2_d2/220805
What the-
Yeah, I figured I'd save you the trip.
You know, I'm this close to unsealing a tin of whoop-ass on you.
Psh. You amish guys don't allow yourselves the technology to open any cans.
Through limited living, one can lead a lifelong legacy.
And we all know you're the embodiment of "limited."

 

http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/r2_d2/220819
I don't know how I got shoehorned into this job, but I may as well make the most of it.
Sweetness, sho' nuff, fo' shizzle.
What da dilly, yo?
This is your first punishment. No more Queen's English for you for a couple centennia.
D'zammit.

 

http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/r2_d2/220824
Alright, I can't stand this ebonics anymore. I'll change you back to the voice you had during the prime of your life, even.
Fo' SHIZZLE!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

 

Talk radio...
Bill Clinton is hiding something from us, folks. Yes, the good, down-to-earth people in the Dakotas are being finangled into a secret so insipid, so far-reaching, that every day they wake up and wish
--wish that they were dead. You see, Mr. Clinton, being the forward-thinking liberal that he is, has passed a secret bill through the Democrat's secret wing of the government.
This bill allows for our government to mine for alien skeletons in the desert and sell the DNA to terrorists.

 

Talk radio...
EVERY DAY George W. BUSH is in office, ONE THOUSAND PEOPLE are being murdered for believing in the freedom of CHOICE for a woman.
You may not think that's possible, but you have no IDEA what this "GOVERNMENT"--and I'm using air quotes there--is hiding from us, the good, down-to-earth people of this country.
That last part is taken from reality.
It's just absurd what those closed-minded, religious MORONS think they understand. Anyhow, in other news, John Stewart said, "We were being ironic," and that means he's on OUR side.

 

I just watched Peter Jackson's "Meet the Feebles."
I will never spend even a dime on the Lord of the Rings movies ever again. From now on, I am only going to refer to Jackson as "Bitch."
Also, I have to apologize to Kurt, for I was the epicenter of the screaming and swearing that kept him up.
Yeah, whatever, Steve "Fuck Monkey" McCoy.

 

Well now I'm out of college for the summer, and don't have a job or friends at home.
Does that mean that you're going to put more time into your comics?
No, now I don't have any inspiration, so they're going to be minimalist and humorless.
Oh, so not much is going to change, huh.
Although I'll probably put myself in more comics due to my current solipsistic state.
Uh-huh.

 

The well I now am outside the institute am the summer, with in home work or friend.
That method, you invest more time to enter your cartoon?
No, I now not any inspiration, therefore they send with the deficient sense of humor.
Oh, so changes by no means, humph.
Although I probably will invest oneself in more cartoons because my current solipsistic statement.
Uh-huh.

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