All comics by JESUSSANDWICH

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by JESUSSANDWICH
2-12-04
WELCOME TO JESUS SANDWICH, A COMIC DEDICATED TO MAKING FUN OF THE IDIOTS OF SPORGASM.
sex
AS SOME OF YOU MAY KNOW, WE USED TO BE IN SPORGASM. HOWEVER, WE HAVE DISBANDED BECAUSE WE'RE BETTER THAN THEM.
sex
AND NOW, TO START JESUS SANDWICH, WE'VE GOT A LITTLE COMIC FOR YOU.
sex

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
2-12-04
IN THE BEGINING IT WAS JUST ONE SIMPLE IDEA BROUGHT ON BY SOME RETARD LOOKING A DUMB INTERNET COMIC
HUH THIS COMICS FUNNY*DUMB GRIN* IT ABOUT RPGS HUHUHUHUH
AND THEN THE GUY FELL DOWN
SPORGASM HAD BEGUN
HEY I WILL MAKEA COMIC THAT WILL KICK THE SHIT OUT OF THAT ONE
YOU RULE!
BUT IT WOULD LEAD HIM DOWN A DARK PATH
DONE! FIRST COMIC IS ABOUT ROMANS DUMBNESS
*BING* THESONICWENCH:THATS SO FUNNY HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
2-12-04
HE NEEDED HELP SO HE ASKED BILL GIERSTAD FOR IT
DUDE WANNA HELP ME WITH THE COMIC
SURE WHY NOT 1337 HAXOR MATIC SANDWICH
WHEN GEDDY ASKED ME TO DO IT I COULDNT SAY NO I JUST HAD TO *SNIFFS* COURSE I WAS REALLY HIGH ON COKE SO I DIDNT WHAT THE HELL I WAS DOING
HEY WHEN AM I GETTING PAID FOR THIS
SOON AFTER HE RECRUITED RORY WHO AFTER A MORTCYLCLE ACCIDENT THOUGHT HE WAS A BEAT NIK FROM THE 50S
HEY RORY YOU WANNA HELP WITH THIS COMIC
SURE WHY NOT DADDY-O

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
2-12-04
I REALLY NEEDED THE MONEY TO FINANCE MY POETRY
BUT THATS WHEN SCOTT SHOWED UP
GEDDY WAS DESPERATE FOR A GOOD COMIC SO HE TURNED TO FORMER BENCOMIC ACTOR CLIFTON MILLER
HEY DUDE YOU WANNA HELP ME
SURE
SCOTT HAD FALLEN INTO A DEEP DEPRESSION AFTER THEY HAD WRITTEN HIM OUT OF BENCOMIC SO HE WAS GREATLY THANKFUL FOR THE OPPURTUNITY
TURN OFF THE CAMERA PLEASE
IVE GOT NOTHING TO SAY YOU. FUCKING CUNT

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
2-12-04
GEDDY DIDNT NEED ANY MORE HELP BUT DECIDED TO ASK JORDAN ANYWAY
HEY TJ MAXX MAKE COMIC NOW BITCH
OK
I HAD NEVER MADE OR LOOKED AT A GOOD COMIC MADE A GOOD COMIC
AND HAD BEEN INTO BONDAGE FOR A WHILE
RARE NEVER BEFORE SEEN FOOTAGE
TIE ME UP AND MOLEST ME PLEASE
SURE FOR TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
2-12-04
I WAS ALL BENT OUT OF SHAPE. I DON'T KNOW WHY. IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN THAT HUGE METAL POLE THEY RAMMED UP MY ASS.
WAIT A MINUTE. DID THEY EVER GET THAT OUT OF THERE?
GEDDY WAS LOST WITHIN HIMSELF. HOWEVER, HE FOUND THE ANSWER TO MAKING HIS COMICS A GREAT SUCCESS
DUE TO LEGAL REASONS, WE CANNOT REVEAL THIS PERSONS IDENTITY.
I'LL SUE YOU IF YOU TALK ABOUT ME AGAIN.
SERIOUSLY.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
2-12-04
GEDDY HAD ABOUT TWEVLE COMICS THREE GOOD ONES TWO HORRIBLE ONES AND 7 "OK" ONES HE NEEDED A CAUSE TO FIGHT FOR
HOW ABOUT FOR THE NEXT COMIC I MAKE FUN OF MATT HILDRETH
SOUNDS GOOD TO ME
WHEN GEDDY CAME TO ME WITH THE IDEA OF MAKING FUN OF HILDRETH I WAS ECSTATIC AND LITTERLLY JUMPED OUT OF MY CHAIR
AND LANDED ON LINDSEY
AFTER 'MONTHS" OF PLANNING AND SCHEMING THEY WENT TO WORK
YOU ARE DUMB HILDRETH
IM MATT HILDRETH

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
2-12-04
WELL I GOT IN A LOT OF TROUBLE FOR BEATING A HOOKER AND WEARING HER CLOTHES
NOT THE BEST TIME OF MY LIFE
RARE FOOTAGE OF MATT HILDRETH
GIVE ME YOUR CLOTHES BITCH OR ILL HIT YOU AGAIN
NO PLEASE NO THAT!
AFTER GETTING ARRESTED I STOPPED TALKING ONLY TO SAY "IM MATT HILDRETH"
I USED THAT AS MY DEFENSE AGAINST THE WORLD I ALSO DID ALOT OF CRACK

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
2-12-04
THINGS WERE GOING ALONG GOOD UNTIL
I WANT A DIFFERENT CHARACTER OR I AM LEAVING
OK ILL FUCKING CHANGE YOU. YOU PUSSY
HEY I JUST WANTED A DIFFERENT CHARACTER SO THEY HAD TO WRITE IN SOME LONG EXPLANATION OF HOW IT HAPPENED
I LIKED MY NEW CHARACTER IT WAS VERY AWESOME *READS GAY RPG COMIC*
THATS WHEN IT FELL APART
DUDE JORDAN WANTED TO CHANGE CHARACTERS
FUCK HIM MAKE A COMIC BASHING HIM

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
2-12-04
DURING THIS TIME RORY WAS SUSPECTED OF SEVERAL CASES OF ARSON. TO THIS DAY HE HAS NOT BEEN CONVICTED
GEDDY I JUST LIT YOUR HOUSE ON FIRE
WTF WHY?
IT EVENTUALLY INTERFERED WITH HIS WORK (RARE FOOTAGE)
I LIT BILL ON FIRE
BILL GOT PRETTY BADLY BURNED IN THAT FIRE HE KINDA FORGOT ABOUT IT CAUSE HE WAS HIGH ON CRYSTAL METH
I GOT IN A PROGRAM FOR MY FIRE ABUSE BUT THEY KICKED ME OUT SHORTLY AFTER BECAUSE I BURNED IT DOWN

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
2-13-04
ALSO DURRING THIS TIME BILL WAS CAUGHT WITH AN ALARMINGLY LARGE AMOUNT OF ILLEAGAL DRUGS HE ALSO HAS NOT BEEN CONVICTED AS OF YET
BILL CAN YOU GO SEE WHAT RORYS DOING
NO WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I DO IT 1337 + ME =HAXOR
I WAS OUT OF CONTROL AND HAD HIT ROCK BOTTOM
THATS WHEN I FOUND CRACK
RARE FOOTAGE OF BILL
GIVE ME YOUR MONEY OR I WILL PUNCH YOUR FUCKING FACE AGAIN
I AM GOD HERES MY WALLET

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
3-21-04
JUGGAGLOS=DUMB
THE FOLLOWING IS TRUE NO NAMES OR FACES WERE CHANGED BECAUSE WE DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE INNOCENT OR THE GUILTY
ARE WE DONE IVE GOT TO GO SLEEP WITH SOME SUPER MODELS
THE DUMBEST FUCKER EVER
IM SHANE PERSON AND GEDDY IS THE DUMBEST PERSON EVER
LOOK AT THIS FUCK JOB BEHIND ME
LATER

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
3-21-04
I AM LATE FOR AN IMPORTANT DATE WITH CARMEN ELECTRA CAN WE HURRY UP..... OH WAIT THE CAMERAS ON?!
THOSE DOUCHE BAGS WERE REALLY GETTING ON MY NERVES AND THATS WHEN RORY DECIDED TO LIGHT MY CAT ON FIRE
EXCLUSIVE FOOTAGE
GOD DAMNIT RORY!!!
*MEOW
I WAS FED UP WITH THE WHOLE GOD DAMNED THING
THAT WHEN I WHEN I HATCED MY PLAN *MANIACAL LAUGHTER*

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
3-21-04
MEANWHILE, DURING GEDDY'S ESCAPADES, SCOTT FELL INTO A DEEP DEPESSION AND BEGAN EXPRESSING HIMSELF IN NEW WAYS.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED! SOMETHING SLIPPED.
SLIPPED LIKE A PENIS IN ROMAN'S ASS.
RARE FOOTAGE OF SCOTT AND TINA CHOI
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU CAN TREAT SOMEONE AS AWESOME AS ME LIKE THIS, YOU FUCKING CUNT
YOU ARE HEREBY KICKED OUT OF EVERY CLASS OF MINE SO I DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOU WINNING ARGUMENTS ALL THE TIME
Y'KNOW, IT'S KINDA FUNNY THAT WE NEVER MENTION THAT THE SAME THING HAPPENED TO YOU, GED.
IT'S BECAUSE I HAVE A BUNCH OF OTHER STUPID SHIT THAT WE'RE NOT DONE EXPLAINING YET.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
3-21-04
ANYHOW, AFTER THAT, I DECID-
I'M MATT HILDRETH
BACKSTAGE FOOTAGE
MATT GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE IT'S NOT YOUR TURN YET
I'M MATT HILDRETH
ANYHOW... WHAT WAS I SAYING.
OH YEAH. I FUCKING HATE JAY LENO FOR WHAT HE DID TO MY MOTHER THAT NIGHT IN VEGAS.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
3-22-04
GEDDY DONT SWEAR!
RARE FOOTAGE OF GEDDY AND TINA
I SAID DONT SWEAR. GO TO THE OFFICE!
FUCK YOU WHORE

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
3-22-04
SURE I KICKED GEDDY AND SCOTT OUT OF MY CLASS BUT I HAD A GOOD REASON
THEY WERE CHALLENGING MY AUTHORITY
RARE FOOTAGE
WELL TODAY WERE GOING TO TURN SHAKESPERE INTO STREET STYLE
YOU FUCKING CUNTING WHORE
WELL THEY WERE
HELLO?

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
3-22-04
AFTER A SHORT WHILE OF MAKING COMICS, AND SCOTT TRYING TO TELL THEM HOW TO MAKE THEIR COMICS BETTER..
THEIR FUCKING COMICS BLEW.
MY COMICS WERE FULL OF INSIDE JOKES AND 13375P33K! THEY WERE FUNNY!
ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE. IT WAS AS IF JESUS HAD DIED AND RISEN FROM THE GRAVE AS ROB ZOMBIE.
HEY BILL, HOW ABOUT WE SPLIT UP AND GO OUR DIFFERENT WAYS.
SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN! C'MON RORY, USE THAT FIRESPELL TO LIGHT MY CRACKPIPE.
SCOTT AND GEDDY THOUGHT LONG AND HARD. SAME WAY WITH BILL AND RORY, ONLY REPLACE "THOUGHT" WITH "BUTTSEXED".
DUDE. WE NEED AN IDEA FOR A COMIC SO WE CAN BEAT KICKIN_DOWN_THA_DOOR.
I'VE GOT IT.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
3-22-04
HAHA I JUST REALIZED THAT I MADE ANOTHER PART FOURTEEN. DISREGARD THE LAST ONE, IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE "PART 15".

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
3-22-04
THATS PRETTY MUCH HOW WE GOT HERE
YOU KNOW EXCEPT FOR THE VARIOUS CAR BOMBS I LEFT
JUST THEN THERE WAS AN EXPLOSION IN THE PARKING LOT
WHEN WE RETURNED GEDDY WAS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
3-22-04
RORY AND BILL HAVE SINCE SPLIT UP KICKIN DOWN THA DOOR PRODTIONS AND ARE NOW WORKING ON SOLO PROJECTS
BILL IS WORKING ON MOPAR_PRODUCTIONS AND RORY HAS YET TO START ANOTHER COMIC
THEY ARE PLANING A COMEBACK TOUR FOR THE FALL

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
3-22-04
OBLASTOFF HAS YET TO GET THE POWER UP AND WIN THE GAME AND TINA
WELL LETS JUST SAY SHE GOT WHAT SHE DESERVED
SO DID RUDOLPH

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
3-22-04
MATT BEGAN DOING HERION, SMACK, ECSTACY, AND WEED LACED WITH ANTHRAX COMBINATIONS.
HE WON'T BE MISSED.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
3-22-04
ROMAN INVENTED SOME NEW FORM OF CONDOM FOR MEN.
NOW LET'S SEE IF THIS WORKS.
THAT DOES NOT LOOK COMFORTABLE.
AFTER ROMAN MADE MILLIONS OF DOLLARS ON HIS "ASS CONDOM" INVENTION..
HE WONT BE MISSED.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
3-22-04
WE HOPE YOU THOUGHROUGLY ENJOYED OUR STORY.
sex
WE ENJOYED MAKING IT FOR YOU.
sex
...WHAT?
OH. WHOAH. DID I SAY THAT OUT LOUD?

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
3-27-04
NO JOKE HERE
JUST A BIG FAT LAWSUIT

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
3-27-04
ITS BRITTANY
SHUT UP ROMAN WE DONT WANT ANY OF YOUR SELF INFECTED HERPES CATS
LAWSUIT LAWSUIT

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
3-27-04
FROM THE BEGINING WE KNEW ROMAN WAS "SPECIAL"
THEN THERE WAS THAT 4TH GRADE TALENT SHOW
DUE TO LEGAL RESONS WE CAN NOT SHOW THE FOOTAGE
AFTER THAT WE KIND OF PUT ROMAN IN HOME SCHOOL
BUT THAT DIDNT STOP THE LETTER BOMBS

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
3-27-04
MY FACE HAS BEEN STUCK LIKE THIS EVER SINCE HIS BIRTH
AND THE OPENING HAS ALSO NEVER BEEN THE SAME
ROMANS MIDDLE SCHOOL LIFE WAS MUCH LIKE HIS ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. WHENEVER HE TRIED TO BELONG
CAN I JOIN WOODSHOP?
NOOO!
HE FAILED!!
CAN I PLEASE BE IN THE LIBRARY?
ROMAN WHY DONT YOU GO IN THE MENS BATHROOM AND JACK OFF TOTHE FARTING NOISES

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
3-28-04

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
3-28-04
ROMAN ONE DAY STUMBLED NAKED INTO A COMPUTER STORE. THEY GAVE HIM ONE TO GO AWAY
*READING* PRESS ON. NOW I CAN FINALLY LOOK AT THOSES NAKED PICTURES OF JUDY DENCH
I CANT LET YOU DO THAT ROMAN
HE QUICKLY ANNOYED EVERYONE ON THE INTERNET AND THEIR DOGS
ULTIMATE_NESS: I OVERCLOCKED MY PC TO 2202002 202002020122020202001202020202020
*typing* WHO THE FUCK CARES
HE USED HIS COMPUTER FOR MANY THINGS INCLUDING MASTURBATION
OH OHOH HENRY KISSENGER
WOULD YOU LIKE TO SMEAR CREAM ON MY NIPPLES

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
3-29-04
TODAY WE ARE STUDYING ROMAN MAKSIMOV A JACKASS IN HIS NATURAL HABITAT
WILL YOU BE MY FRIEND
NO
SEE HOW HE PRETEND TO READ ELLEN DEGENRESS NEW BOOK HOW TO MAKE A COMPLETE ASS OF YOURSELF
SO I SHOULD BECOME A LESBIAN?
DEEP IN DUMBASS THOUGHT
WE SEE HIM NOW INTERACTING WITH HIGHER LIFE FORMS
YOU DUMBASS GEDDY GO MAKE ME ME GAY SEX SANDWICH

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
3-30-04
HERE WE SEE ROMAN WORSHIPPING JESUS BECAUSE HE INSISTS THAT EVERYONE THINK HE IS JEWISH.
OH HEAVEN MAN, WHY EVERYONE HATE ROMAN?
YOU'RE GOING TO BURN IN HELL.
ALSO, NOBODY CARES THAT YOU'RE JEWISH, YOU FUCKTA- HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT HAMMER AND NAILS
I STILL DON'T GET WHY YOU HAD TO MAKE ME GET NAKED, YOU FUCK!

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
3-30-04
HERE IS ROMAN SEEING THE MOVIE "BIG MOMMAS HOUSE".
(i'm matt hildreth)
DOWN IN FRONT YOU FAT FUCKING MORON, YOU STUPID FUCKING CUNT, YOU IDIOT
PEOPLE CAN DIE??

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
3-30-04
Fag, you're a pansy for one little thing. You're the one who is a little baby.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
4-03-04
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA
Adrian has sent me an e-mail that was very insightful. I have been thinking about what he has said and I also thought of all the times we all have had that were fun.
I have decided to shut up and listen to others. I will try to change my ways completly and I will try to not say anything stupid.
AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
But if I do, you don't have to yell at me and call me an idiot all the time, just remind me of what is stupid and what is not.
I am apologizing for everything I have said in the past, and what I did in the past. This is for Scott, Lindsey, Geddy, Rory and Bill.
NO SERIOUSLY ROMAN YOU THINK THIS IS GONNA MAKE IT BETTER YOU ARE SADLY MISTAKEN
I am hoping you would talk to me again and hopefully we can be friends again. I also am going to add you to my friends list again on Livejournal so you can respond and hopefully accept my apology and
we can all bury the hatchet and be friends again. And reply about this and hopefully you wont make any bad comments.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
4-03-04
ATTENTION ROMAN: THERE ARE MANY MANY THINGS YOU FUCKED UP ON IN JUST THE PAST FUCKING WEEK
AND YOU EXPECT US TO FORGIVE YOU
AFTER THROWING RORY INTO A WALL CALLING GEDDY GAY AND UN-EMPLOYABLE YOU HAVE SUNK TO A NEW LOW
FOR US TO FORGIVE YOU NOW WOULD TAKE AN ACT OF
I HOPE YOU LIKE NOT HAVING FRIEND BECAUSE THIS IS HOW ITS GONNA BE FROM NOW ON
YOU MADE YOUR BED NOW YOU HAVE TO LIE IN IT ENJOY

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
4-05-04
I HATE THOSE GOD DAMNED CELEBRITIES AND THEIR IM SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU ATTITUDE THERE ALL LIKE:
IM JENNIFER ANNISTON I HATE ALL OF YOU PEONS AND YOUR SHIT SO I GO TO BIG GAY EXCLUSIVE CLUBS
HEY IM BRAD PITT I RULE BUT IM ALL STUCK UP AND SHIT
LOOK AT ME IM EDWARD NORTON IN MY LIKE FIFTY MILLION DOLLAR MANSION
IM JASON ALEXANDER IM NOT POPULAR

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
5-12-04
YOU TRIED TO KEEP ME DOWN BUT NOW I HOLD ALL THE CARDS
WHAT CARDS ARE THOSE?
THE ONES WITH YOUR MOM NAKED ON THEM

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
5-13-04
I HAD STEPPED OUT SIDE WHEN I WAS GREETED BY AN OLD FRIEND.
HEY FUCK FACE.
WHATS UP MIKE?
HOT ON THE TRAIL OF SOME SHIT FACES BERNIE
OH WELL THATS COOL
IM GOING TO KILL YOU
WAIT WHAT?

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
5-14-04
I WAS ON THE TRAIL OF SOMETHING AS LARGE AS LIFE
YOU GODDAMN METROSEXUAL BASTARD. YOU GIVE STRAIGHT MEN LIKE US A BAD NAME.
WHAT I WAS JUST GOING TO WORK
GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON WHY I SHOULD BLOW YOU AWAY RIGHT HERE AND NOW?
I KNOW WHERE TO FIND SOME FURRIES
WAIT I DIDNT TELL YOU WHERE THEY WERE

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
5-19-04
I WAS LED ALL AROUND THE CITY IN A WILD GOOSE CHASE
WAIT YOURE NOT A GOOSE.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
5-20-04
I AM GOING TO RAPE ABE VIGODA

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
5-25-04
My Childhood.
Son were sending you to camp.
Yay!
Later.
Concentraition camp!
Wait what?

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
5-25-04

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
5-25-04
SO I HAD TO CUT UP THE BODY WITH THE SHOVEL THEY LEFT LYING AROUND.
I WAS LUCKY THEY DIDNT FIND THE SEMEN STAINS EITHER.
THATS BASICALLY WHAT I DID FOR MY SUMMER VACATION.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
5-25-04
So I was talking with Jesus last night and he said I am going to hell. Where I will be raped endlessly by demons.
Give me head.
No.
You Bastard.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
5-26-04
Ouch, I think she's actually hurt.
Ooh, yes Bob, that looked like a nasty fall.
Anyway, onto a different matter. If we believe the prophets of disaster our world could soon end due to global warming or a meteor strike.
And if this topic turns out to be true they may be right. We now go live to our reporter who's on the scene of a very interesting new find.
In related news Hitler did it for the chicks.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
5-26-04
I THINK CANCER IS FUNNY.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
6-07-04
At the family reunion
So Grandma what did you on your trip?
Well I went to the grand canyon.....
I want your cunt
Well ok.
I should have just kept my big mouth shut.

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