All comics by MagpieIX

 

by MagpieIX
7-03-07
I'm not speaking to you
Everyone's picking on me, Bapyh
You're saying mean things to everone about me.
What's wrong, Baphykins?
Both hands?
Would you like me to rub your tummy?

 

by MagpieIX
7-03-07
sigh
Another day of doing Your Holy Work, my Lord. Struggling to expose the Freemasons, pedophiles, the New World Order, Satanists, The Boy Scouts of America...
Karen, can you do one thing for me?
Anything, Oh Lord! What can I do? Write a book? Start a blog? Fly to Egypt to sign autographs? Whatever it is, I'll do it for You.
Convert to atheism... Please...for My sake....give it some serious thought...Okay?
Everyone's Picking on me

 

by MagpieIX
7-04-07
Here we go...
You have no idea how hard my life is, Lord.
Let me die!!
blah..blah...Hinton...blah...Magpie. ..blah..jealousy...blah... my brilliance....blah...sabotage my book...blah...Goddam How....blah, blah....baphomet....Masonic plots...blah, blah...out to get me...
If I could get a hand free I'd smite you silly!!
This is all Bob's fault

 

by MagpieIX
7-04-07
Mmmmm...Blood sacrifice...Unbaptised babies... Grinding their tiny bones between my teeth and tearing their warm flesh from the carcass.....
Baphykins?
Okay.
You hungry, Baphy? I'll get you a cookie
Grind their bones, I tell you....
I heard that! You want chocolate chip?

 

by MagpieIX
7-05-07
Somewhere in Egypt
It was very kind of you to travel all the way to to the middle of the desert to sign copies of your wonderful book.
It's the least I can do for my adoring public
You honour us greatly, Ms Cornwell.
Excuse me a moment...
Welcome to my world!
I've never seen someone headbutt a camel before...

 

by MagpieIX
7-05-07
I tell you Baphy, that Boob Hinton is a pawn of the Devil--and may God strike me down if I'm wrong!
Wow! That was close.
Close for WHO, exactly?!?

 

by MagpieIX
7-05-07
Somewhere in Egypt...
...So thirsty...Must have...water...!
Someone's having a bad day....
Can't...be...real...Must be...mirage....
Nah, I'm a just talking crab
Now the two guys wanting your autograph...THAT was a mirage...
I hate you....

 

by MagpieIX
7-05-07
A Visit from The Publisher
I've got another pile of stuff from your readers that you need to sign...
My loyal fans want autographs?!?
Not exactly....
Not now, Baphy...
Signing refund checks again?

 

by MagpieIX
7-05-07
Baphy...are you still reading the final draft for my next book?
I devoured it in a single sitting...
What did you think?
Uuuurp! Could've used some mustard, maybe.....
While you're banging your head against the fridge, could you grab me some orange juice?

 

by MagpieIX
7-05-07
Malicity, you look terrible!
I know. I just got out after six months in jail
You poor thing! Is there anything I can do for you?
Do you have a computer I can borrow?

 

by MagpieIX
7-05-07
Karen is late for a session...
I can't find my car keys. Those goddam satanic pedophile Freemasons..!!!
Oh for God's sake snap out of it! Not everthing that happens to you is the fault of the Masons, alright?
You're right Baphy. I'm being silly....
Get a grip, already...
Later at the Lodge Meeting...
...So then I hid her keys behind the toaster...
Nice one!

 

by MagpieIX
7-05-07
At the Lodge meeting
Hi there, I'm Bob...
I am the mighty Baphomet! You are a helpless minion in my nefarious plot to take over the world and install the New World Order!
Um....right. I'm going to check out the buffet
COULD YOU BRING ME BACK A COUPLE OF THOSE LITTLE SANDWICHES?!?

 

by MagpieIX
7-05-07
At the offices of Amazon
Hey Dan, where are you going?
I'm going to check on our dastardly plot to prevent Karen's books from getting any positive reviews....
Sounds like a lot of work.
Not really. We just blocked Karen's IP address....

 

by MagpieIX
7-06-07
Hey Karen
Je ne suis pas Karen. Je m'appel Nicole
Karen, for the last time, you are NOT French, okay?
Je n'ai pas le temps pour ceci. J'ai un livre à écrire. Mes ventilateurs dépendent de moi.
Je vis avec un nutjob...
What was that, Baphy?

 

by MagpieIX
7-06-07
I'm your wish fairy. I'm here to grant you a single wish!
I want to be taken seriously as a researcher and respected as an author...
I said a wish, toots. You want a miracle, you pray like everyone else...
I'm gonna review myself on amazon again.....
How are you at dropping pianos on people...?
Upright or baby grand?

 

by MagpieIX
7-06-07
A Visit from the Publisher
Great news! We just sold the 300th copy of your latest book!
That's wonderful news! I'm just finishing my next book now....
Call me. We'll do lunch--on you.
Can you move some books out of the hall closet--I need to get my frisbee.
Shut up, Baphy...

 

by MagpieIX
7-06-07
A summons from the Publisher
I'm here!
We've had a call from a producer wanting you to appear on TV.
That's great!! Who? The View? Dr. Phil? Don't tell me--it's Oprah, right?
Aah...
Back at home...
...it turned out to be "Penn and Teller's Bullshit"...
Cool! They got my letter!

 

by MagpieIX
7-26-07
Karen gets a phone call...
Wow. Wait till I tell Baphy that my book has been selected by Oprah for her book club. They're gonna HAVE to take me seriously now...
Okay, so it was mean, but Hellooo?!? Agent of discord--says so right on the Mission Statement.

 

by MagpieIX
7-28-07
Karen ends her lecture...
And that is why the Freemasons have sabotaged my brilliant work. Any questions?
If Amazon is really trying to sabotage your book, why are they offering it for sale in the first place?
Baphy, I thought I told you to stay in the car....
The radio was broken.....

 

by MagpieIX
8-05-07
I hate you Bob! I'm going to get you for sabotaging my brilliant research!
What are you talking about? I have an alibi
Earlier...
A fire! My goodness! How suspicious! That's one suspicious fire.
Come back here you conspiring Masonic lizard! THIS ISN'T OVER!!!!!!
Tell Baphy I said thanks for the marshmallows..

 

by MagpieIX
8-05-07
Bob runs into Dan
Hey! I hear Karen's written a new book about how alien lizards formed the Freemasons to take over the world.
You heard right....
Why don't we go over and congratulate her. Gesture of good will, and all that...
Good Idea! I'll go change and meet you there...
A short time later...
Great minds, eh?
Remember to hiss when she opens the door...

 

by MagpieIX
8-18-07
Hey Karen. Jesus is as the door to see you
Not now, Baphy. I'm not in the mood...
Seriously...
Fine! You can tell him from me that....
I'm outta here...
...of course the hooves make some of the gestures a little tricky...

 

by MagpieIX
8-21-07
How Brown meets Karen
Hi there, bubelah...
I reject the in thee name of the risen Christ!!!
Wha...?
"Bubelah" is obviously a derivative of the Satanic Masonic God Jubulon. You must be invoking some obscure Masonic curse on me!
What the....?
I going to pray that Jesus shows you the Truth of his Love by sending you straight to hell to be tormented for eternity, you evil person.

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