All comics by MastersJ

 

by MastersJ
11-22-01
So...
So...
About Eric.
Yes?
Gay?
Gay.

 

by MastersJ
11-22-01
Why Hullo, Pat.
HI DONKEY!
What's up?
I'M GETTING READY TO GO TO A PARTY! WE'RE GOING TO DRINK, DO DRUGS, AND FUCK SOME BITCHES! IT'S GONNA BE GREAT!
That's the closest you've ever come to pussy, isn't it?
Maybe.

 

by MastersJ
11-22-01
Jason, what are you waiting for?
Keep going, Shane.
Come on! You said that pounding nails into our heads would unlock the hidden power of our brains. We were supposed to do it together.
You're so stupid.

 

by MastersJ
11-22-01
Wow, Jay, I didn't know you were so bad off.
No Kai, it's not so bad. I get free room, free board, and my only worry is fighting off the occaisional hobo.
Oh, that's good to hear.
Yeah.
So, did you want to fool around?

 

by MastersJ
11-22-01
The Xbox is the greatest piece of gaming technology ever created. Look at it run, it's poetry in motion.
A hard drive, a built in broadband, and power to go around. A real gamer's dream, no doubt.
Yep, a real gamer's dream.

 

by MastersJ
11-23-01
Eric Stibbons faces down a jury of his peers in what many consider to be the trial of the century.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. I am so sure of my case in my wrongful termination suit against Blockbuster Video, that I have put my dog in panties, set him on a ball, and named him my attorney.
You will find that I was not only mistreated, but I was mishandled and misappropriated.
Not unlike Cairn Borgnaught, the hero of the wonderfully done Shatterface: Call of the Warrior for the PC. You see Cairn was a prince, who was dethroned by his evil uncle Lord Tinkerton...
Jesus, I'm out of here.

 

by MastersJ
11-23-01
Hey Shane, I haven't seen much of you lately.
Yeah Dad, I've been spending a lot of time lately with my new girlfriend.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

 

by MastersJ
11-24-01
Some people can't leave well enough alone...
Look at you, Jesus. You're skinny, raggity, you can't be more than 16 bit, and you're far short of 60 fps.
Who did your animation, Acclaim? What kind of sound is that? It doesn't even sound like you're really moaning in pain. You have the worst effects of any diety, ever. You're pathetic, and...

 

by MastersJ
11-28-01
They just dropped it off.
Oh, it's my letter from the Gay and Lesbian Alliance! I've been waiting for this forever!
Oh God Eric, how I want to fucking pound this into your skull...
How can someone be too gay?

 

by MastersJ
11-28-01
The computer is such a wonderful tool. It brings people together, and it allows for the exchange of information at lighting-fast speeds.
Think about it, you can diagnose an illness, meet your soulmate, learn to wire your home, and purchase goods and services, all from your home! That's why I love my computer so much.
Plus, there's backdoor.com.
Yeah, it's mostly that.

 

by MastersJ
3-06-02
So it's S, T, I, B, B....are you paying attention to me?
Mmmm....
Mr. Stibbons?
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmm. Mmmmmmmmmmm............
It's the uniform, isn't it?
Mmm-hmm.

 

by MastersJ
3-06-02
Yeah, so this chick was all over me, right, so I drank like 5, no 7 more beers...
Uh-huh.
...and I was so trashed that I like threw up blood, but then I went back to dancing. I told you I was a good dancer, right? Anyway, she was so all over me...
Uh-huh.
....so I must have had like 12, no 45 fucking beers that night, and as soon as I got done fucking her, another girl came in! Well, I took them both...
Keep going, I dare you.

 

by MastersJ
3-06-02
So, uh, do you come here often? Uhh....what's your sign?
What's a, uh, pretty goat like you doing in a place like this? Do you like it on top? Are you kinky? Why so quiet, honey?
All you goats think you're better than me.
Fag.

 

by MastersJ
3-06-02
Hello, Eric.
Jason, I'm so fucking sick of you making fun of me in your comics. I'm not going to take it anymore!
Ok.
DO NOT BELITTLE ME! I AM ERIC STIBBONS, AND I AM FUCKING COOL! YOU WILL NO LONGER MAKE FUN OF ME! I AM A HUMAN BEING AND I DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS! I WORK AT A BOOK STORE DAMNIT!
Why is that cat's ass bleeding?
God I hate you.

 

by MastersJ
3-06-02
Eric just can't get it straight.
Welcome to Waldenbooks. I'm Eric, and I am gay. I mean, not gay. FUCK!
Whatever.
Welcome to Waldenbooks! My name is Eric and I'm not gay. Can I help you find anything today, like a tongue gently carressing your ass? Er, I mean...
Uh, whatever man.
Come on, just one more chance. I'll make it worth your while....
You are so fired.

 

by MastersJ
3-07-02
Uh, hey...Lucas.
Um, yeah, hi Stibbons.
....
.....
It's really awkward now, isn't it?
Yeah. It almost always is after you've been elbow deep in someone's ass.

 

by MastersJ
3-07-02
Lucas is the biggest fag EVAR!
Shigeru Miyamoto! It's really you!!!!!! I'm your biggest fan!
I own every game you ever made, and I STILL eat Nintendo cereal every day for breakfast!
Lucas has never, ever seen a vagina.
I have over 100 pictures of you on my computer, and your birthday is my ATM code!
My cat's name is Luigi! I once masturbated to a picture of Mario Sunshine. Ok, it was really a picture of you, but what does it matter now? I finally get to meet you!
Everyone hates Lucas.
Well...?
I hate you.

 

by MastersJ
3-10-02
Everyone hates Mark more.
Uh, hey, what's up Mark?
Nothing man, I was just totally getting down with a little chat room hijinx between rounds of Halo. That's some crazy wild shit, know what I'm saying? The chicks so dig me.
A lot more.
Dude, aren't you like 30?
But yeah, we were in the chat, and I totally told OtaconZero that Cammy is way hotter than Chun Li, and we totally lit up the chat waxing philisophical about some mad Soukyugurentai. It was crazy, yo!
His girlfriend is really fat.
Your girl friend is probably really fat, isn't she?
No, she's like totally pretty!

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