All comics by Nied

Profile

 

by Nied
9-19-01
Hello there! My name is DAVID MCGUIRE, author of the award-winning hit comic series 'Citrusville'!
So many interesting things have happened to me today! I can't wait to tell everybody about it in my own personal online journal!
Fantastic!
"WELCOME TO POODLES"

 

by Nied
9-19-01
I hope my people see how I'm dying for their sins.
I mean, nobody has ever gone through this much pain, suffering and misery... NOBODY.
I know I dropped my Fire Convoy around here somewhere!
Fuck, its Raijin Z. I stand corrected.

 

by Nied
9-19-01
Cons are a great place to meet potential mates, says I, DAVID MCGUIRE, author of the award winning comic 'Citrusville'!
Uh oh, here comes a cute one now! Whatever you do, Dave, stay calm and act casual.
HELLO! MY NAME IS DAVID. YOU LOOK VERY KAWAII! WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO WATCH THE SLAYERS SCREENING WITH ME?
Dude, the con has been over for 3 days. I'm here to tell you Josh Lesnick wants your ass to get in the truck. Now.

 

by Nied
9-19-01
Hey! Cthulhu! Wassap fucker?
Greetings, mortal "RaijinZ".
So how goes the hate and suffering business?
Very well. Today I ate 200 humans, and laid waste to 12 major cities, bringing pestilence and death.
HA! That's nothing. Today I got locked out of my apartment and had to pick the rusty lock with my dick. Ever gotten metal shards in your sac?
I can never beat this asshole.

 

by Nied
9-20-01
Every day, I am surrounded by pain and torment! The horrors of hell have no end! I pray for death that will not come.
Dude, you don't even know. Last night I slammed my balls in the door of my Civic, and a tow-truck came and dragged me for 40 blocks!
Thank you, RaijinZ. In light of your miserable existance, my problems seem so trivial. Maybe I don't have it so bad afterall.
I've got plenty more where that came from.
Goddamnit, stop doing that! Who let you in, anyway??
Autobots, transform and roll out!

 

by Nied
9-20-01
Hi, my name is DAVID MCGUIRE, author of the award winning "Citrusville". You're kinda cute, wanna hit the dealers room?
Sorry, but I only date underage asian girls.
My favorite anime is Maison Ikuko, I enjoy cosplaying as Sailor Mars, and I have a 5ft tall Ayanami Rei wallscroll...
..and I make some really mean pancakes.
I'm in room 505. Buy me a Dirty Pair keychain and I'll beam you in.

 

by Nied
9-20-01
Well, Mr. "RaijinZ", I'm happy to report that we've completed your checkup and found you to be in perfect health.
HA HA, that's fucking bullshit, dude! Give it a few minutes.
My God! These readings indicate that your kneecap has migrated to your heart and lodged itself in your aorta!
DON'T FUCK WITH DA MASTA!

 

by Nied
9-21-01
Ever notice how one-dimensional this comic is, RaijinZ?
Hell ya. It might 'look' a little different each time, but every strip has the same punch line.
Sure does.
..Yep.
So like, when are they going to make some Sinfest characters for us to use in the strip?
Ya, might as well make the transformation complete.

 

by Nied
9-21-01
Lookatmeh! You're PATHETIC! ... What? I said you're PATHETIC!
I SAID LOOKATMEH! I'm... What? I'm Stone Cold Steve Austin! I should give you a stunner right here in MY ring. What? I said MY ring.
Ya, I 'suppose' you could do that, but it wouldn't have much effect. My spine was surgically fused into one solid bone after I fell off the Space Needle.
Wait.. you're not Eddy Guerrero..

 

by Nied
9-22-01
MP3.com is run by fucktards, so I moved all my Kupek stuff to a different server. I kinda split my time between music, and not drawing.
WOW! That's great Mal! You are truely an inspiration to half-Korean internet artists like myself, DAVID MCGUIRE.
Have you read the latest CitrusvilleZ, Mal?
What the fuck? That's not MAL! He's a fucking WHITE DUDE! He doesn't even RESEMBLE Mal in any possible way!
Waiji? What happened to YOU?
What?! What's wrong? Is my hair messed up? Tell me damnit.

 

by Nied
9-23-01
So Mal, how do you like being a middle-aged white man so far?
I think I'm actually starting to like it.
Really? That's fuckin crazy... I mean, you look like the host from Supermarket Sweep for fuck's sake.
Dude, I shit you not. Chicks really seem to dig the 35 year old out-of-shape white guy image. Unfortunately, they all look like...
..Arshes Nei.
Damnit, nobody is the correct race in this comic! This is an insult to my* OOOO! Hello cute ass-sama!

 

by Nied
9-24-01
Wassup bitch?
Greetings RaijinZ! Today I crashed my 2001 Eclipse into a telephone poll, and I got tricked into eating a large piece of steaming feces. BEAT THAT!
So I bet you're all proud of yourself now, right?
Well.. yes.
.. Faggot.
HEY! Why is it only cool when YOU'RE miserable??

 

by Nied
9-25-01
I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF! I made another Citrusville strip today and it is so funny! I am the greatest! Everybody loves DAVID MCGUIRE!
Dude, your comic sucks and I fucking hate you.
I AM SO SAD! I made another Citrusville strip today and it's terrible! I am a hopless loser! Everybody hates DAVID MCGUIRE!
Ya. I know.
Oh, I don't really care either way, just as long as you pay attention to me.
I can tell, considering you followed me here into my own fucking bathroom.

 

by Nied
9-28-01
Alright everybody, the first rule of Fight Club is: "Never talk about Fight Club."
The first rule also applies to any fightclub parodies be them in comic or website form, use of my name as an ICQ nick, and excessive mentioning of Fight Club in Poodles.
AWW MAN!?
Do you wanna be in my fucking club or what, Lewis?
First rule of Level 3 Impro is "Checkered backgrounds rule, bitch". BULBSHACK CHUNGASIZE!

 

by Nied
11-10-01
*sigh* Greetings, mortal David Mcguire(tm).
Hey Cthulhu! You look pretty sad.. what's goin down?
I think I'm losing my touch. I attacked a small town of peasants today and nobody was afraid of me! They just stood there and pointed.
Sounds like you need some new material! Allow me, DAVID MCGUIRE, to give you a few pointers on being TRUELY frightening!
Later..
I AM THE PRINCE OF ALL SAIYANS ONCE AGAIN!
AAAAAAAAAA!!! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

 

by Nied
11-12-01
Ok, fuck that shit....
What's got yo shit, Raijin Buu?
Goddamn Urban Terror. I got shot in the face in the fucking laundry room. I'm through with this bullshit.
Dude, you are such a quitter.
Ok, fuck you dude. Break, Spitfire Neon, Panzer Gospel ending, Panel Tag, Hatchetmen, Rosarius Plus..
Hey, B.A.S.S. is coming back, bitch. CHIMIFROST XLGT!

 

by Nied
11-15-01
Sup Waiji, you goddamn asian sensation.
Dude, what the hell is wrong with your right hand?
Ok, so like.. I was trying to transform my Jetfire figure while standing in the path of a runaway semi, and my pubes got caught in my..
I think my girlfriend is calling me, or my oven timer is going off.. or fucking something.

 

by Nied
11-21-01
I'VE WORKED SO HARD, AND COME SO FAR...
Who's playing Linkin Park? I HATE that shit!
..BUT IN THE EEEENNNDD, IT DOESN'T EVEN MAAATTTTTEERRRR!!
Their whiney brand of faux angst and misery makes me want to puke. Turn it OFF!
YOU'VE GOT TO FALL, TO LOSE IT ALL....
Oops, its the real thing. My mistake.

 

by Nied
10-06-02
Wait a second, what the fuck is this rocket doing here?
Welcome to atomictoy.org, its the bomb dot com!
TRANSFORM!
Christ, it was only a matter of time.
KA-POW! DOOD! FAWK.. LETS GO TO FAWKING DENNIEZ! GAWDAWM..

 

by Nied
10-06-02
Dude, check out my fawking stripcreator self. I have glasses, a KILT, and 3 FAWKING FINGAZ! DOOD!
At least you're the right nationality, you lucky bastard.
So do I get to say the punchline now?
What punchline? I guess, I don't care.
NUCLEAR LUNCH DETECTED!
Ok, I refuse to submit myself to this comic alone. Where the fuck is nied?

 

by Nied
10-06-02
Jesus, who is it now? If its Kevbo, I swear to god...
*knock knock*
Dood! Who's at the door?
Dude, I beg you, don't fucking go out there.
DOOD! ITS NEEYAWD! FAWWK! DOOD! HOLY SHEET, GAWDAWM! FAAWWKK DOOOD!
DOOOD LOOK AT MY FAWKING BODY! GET SEEREEOSS! FAWKING FAWK DOOOOD!

 

by Nied
10-09-02
Well well, if it isn't motherfucking NIED. I've been waiting for this, cock-master.
Raijin Z? Oh shit..
I'll teach you to make me the living punchline of your goddamn fag comic. Prepare for a beating of extraordinary magnitude!
Must.. raise.. bloated arms.. in defense..
Ya.. ok... as soon as stripcreator grants me the ability to move, I'm curling up these 3 fingers into a photon fist of rage. Get ready..
My formless blob of a torso awaits your torrential assault. Are you ever going to take a drink of that mountain dew?

 

by Nied
5-19-05
DOOD FAWK WASSAP HOLY SHIT DOOD LETS GO TO DEN.. shit. I'm sorry man, I can't do this.
Me either. It just seems so embarassing now.
I just can't engage in mindless self-depreciating net-speak for the sake of a punchline. Only a delusional self-righteous lunatic could...
..could what? Oh wait, he's behind me, isn't he?
WELCOME BACK, TO THE STAGE OF DESTINY!

 

by Nied
5-22-05
.. oh shit..
Hello, ilikepies.
Oh, look, your shoelace is untied.
MY PARENTS JUST WEREN'T ENOUGH TO SATISFY YOUR LUST FOR DEATH, WERE THEY, BEE?

 

by Nied
5-22-05
I want to make things right, pies. Sometimes I just have problems controlling my.. muh.. muh.. bbuh.. BBZZZZZZZZ!
I don't have time for this..
BZZZ! BZZ BZZZZ. BZZZ, BZZZZZ BZZZ BZZZZZ!! BZZZZZ!
My head! You ran into my head??

 

by Nied
5-23-05
BBBZZZZZ!
... LIGHTYEAR!
Wait, what? No! How did you even..
Such is the fate of all who dare chat with the pies. You must come to terms with it.

 

by Nied
5-25-05
Well, Craiggers, here we are on the moon.
You know I hate the moon, tit-face.
Ya, the moon sucks.
Hey look! Here comes Mike.
ANDY, WHY DO YOU HAVE STEALTH IN YOUR ACTION BAR? YOU'RE NOT TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY.
Christ, Mike. You scared the piss right outta me.

 

by Nied
6-02-05
Greetings, mortal Waiji.
TAGGART MANEUVER!
Wait, Taggart what? Where are you going?
Wa.. oh.. fuck.
Whew.. I've been following him for blocks trying to tell him about my kickass Highlander katana. I guess I'll just tell you since you're in front of me now..

Showing page 1.