All comics by PrimoOoze1138

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by PrimoOoze1138
9-12-04
We interrupt your pitiful little program....
We take you now to Bill Clinton for a special report.
Dude, I'm a fucking logo.
It appears that Mr. Wade had discovered StripCreator.com
Oh.
Shit.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
9-12-04
12:35 PM
Whoa, it's after noon. Guess I won't eat breakfast.
3:27 PM
Whoa, it's after 3:00. Guess I won't eat lunch.
7:05
I'm sorry, we close at 7:00
Whoa, I guess I'm not eating.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
9-12-04
In college, I'm bombarded by the familiar...
Man, Christian Bale is gonna make a terrible Batman...
...To the annoying...
Ha ha! Oh, wait, what was I saying?
...To the downright loathesome.
Hey, I'm Brad Pitt. I was in Fight Club, you know. And The Mexican.
Dude, piss off.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
9-12-04
Watson sneaks in on the approach...
And...
*pop*
Oh! He never saw that uppercut coming!
Ow...
Stop sneaking into my room like that.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
9-12-04
Crunchy Bo-Dash.
I say God Da-yam!
Dude, was that really necessary?
No, but God Da-yam!
Whatever.
Man, that's the hot shit!
Word.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
9-12-04
The 3-panel summation of Resident Evil.
You're all going to die down here.
Like shit, we are.
Um, yeah. About that dying stuff. That little computer girl's right.
Oh.
Shit.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
9-13-04
So today in my English class, we had to draw a monster in crayon.
That would be me.
Sweet business!

 

by PrimoOoze1138
9-13-04
Show us on the doll where they touched you.
Nobody touched me!
Who was it? There's no more running from your past! Who touched you?!
I hate you.
And that, kids, is why you should never ever watch Clerks for 6 straight hours.
Take it from us. We're cartoons.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
9-14-04
Hey now, who are you?
I'm you. Or, at least, Crunchy Bo-Dash's version of you.
...........
I know, right?
...Said the pitiful little man.
I didn't say anything.
Booyaa!

 

by PrimoOoze1138
9-14-04
Apologies. The whole other version of me thing was Watson's dumbass idea.
My mistake.
Dude, are you still here?
Yeah. I am.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
9-14-04
A Cold Day in Hell
Holy mother of Buddha! What's going on here?!
Um, yeah...about that...Promise you won't be mad...
So today, I [Insert something I would never do here].
Sweet Business!

 

by PrimoOoze1138
9-14-04
Brandon's a bit of an odd duck.
I need pudding.
Pudding. That's delightful!
Now I need to find a spoon.
Mmm. Spoonage.
See?
No, I mean to eat the pudding with.
Sounds like a nice little Loophole #3 action, my friend. Heeheheeheheehehee. That's glorious!

 

by PrimoOoze1138
9-15-04
We interrupt "The Cable Guy" for a special bulletin.
We go now to Bill Clinton with some breaking news.
*See Zetura_Dracos's comic "Captive of the Dinosaur People."
It appears as though Dracos, a resident aspiring film director has been pummeled by an evil corporation*.
They were dinosaurs...and a kangaroo...
Meanwhile...
And the national news thinks I care?

 

by PrimoOoze1138
9-15-04
So basically, you just take the yellow stuff and pull it out with this here knife. Got it?
Yeah, I think so.
Now put all of the fat in this bin.
Ok.
Got any spare change?
Here's a quarter. Don't touch me..

 

by PrimoOoze1138
9-17-04
An interpretation of Stanley Kubrick's "The Shining".
Heeere's Johnny!
You are correct, sir!
Redrum! Redrum! Redrum! Redrum! Redrum! Redrum! Redrum! Redrum! Redrum! Redrum! Redrum! Redrum! Redrum! Redrum! Redrum! Redrum! Redrum! Redrum!
"All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. All work and no p... "

 

by PrimoOoze1138
9-17-04
I'm attempting to watch The Passion of the Christ.
Am I liking this?
"Aaagh! Uuugh! Aaagh!"
I don't think I'm liking this.
"Nooooo! Aaagh! Aaaugh!"
Flashback: Two Years Ago
Are they gonna like this, Mel? I don't think they're gonna like this.
Jim, just shut up and do your lines. They're not SUPPOSED to like it. That would make them sadists, and nobody likes a sadist.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
9-18-04
If there are zombies afoot, never EVER take a shortcut through a graveyard.
Well gee, where'd you come from, decrepit-zombie-guy?
Guess.
Unless it's a frightened woman, never trust anyone with a sharp object.
...Like me.
Whatever. Make it quick, I've got a 3:25 with Hitler in the 5th Circle.
Ash will always kick your ass.
Come get some.
Ok.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
9-19-04
Sometimes, there's a man, well, he's the man for his time and place. He fits right in there.
And that's Brandon.
And even if he's a lazy man, and Brandon was most certainly that.
Quite possibly the laziest in all of New Hanover County.
Which would place him high in the runnin' for laziest worldwide.
Sometimes there's a man, sometimes, there's a man.
Well, I lost my train of thought here. But... aw, hell. I've done introduced it enough.
Move it, bitches. I'm vacuuming!

 

by PrimoOoze1138
9-21-04
Dear God, I've finally done it...
I've found the silliest thing ever...
So, without further ado:
SHITCOCK!
I love a good apocalypse!

 

by PrimoOoze1138
9-21-04
So, for the Ultra Edition of Star Wars, I've brought in this race of space monkeys. I like to call them the Apites. Y'know, since they're monkeys.
Ook.
But don't worry, they'll only come into play in the new subplot concerning the love triangle between Vader, C-3PO, and Sy Snootles.
DO WHAT!?
Ooh, did I mention Hayden Christensen now plays Darth Vader, sans helmet?
Have you lost your damn mind, man?

 

by PrimoOoze1138
9-26-04
Man, who says that these days?
I do.
Watson's got a knack for not having his own set of mannerisms.
Oh, right.
And you know what else? Not mine. Stolen!
Dammit, Wat.
Booyaa!

 

by PrimoOoze1138
9-29-04
Around here, lots of people smoke.
And they leave the butts all over the place.
Oh, that's lovely.
Sometimes they leave entire cigarettes just lying around. It's kinda ridiculous.
Smoke you.
Wrong answer!

 

by PrimoOoze1138
9-29-04
In Wilmington, there are only two kinds of animals...
Aren't you supposed to be scared of me? Run away, maybe?
Sure. Why not?
...Animals that pay no attention to people whatsoever...
Stupid squirrels.
Squirrels...and fire ants.
Is the plan ready?
Almost. Soon, the army shall be unleashed!

 

by PrimoOoze1138
10-04-04
They attack at dawn...
I think I feel a slight itch...
Get 'im, boys!
AAAAAAAHH!
But, I lived to fight another day.
There were thousands of them...
Hah, sounds like my kind of bugs!

 

by PrimoOoze1138
10-13-04
A business transaction is taking place.
So, you're compadres, are they COMPLETELY ruthless?
You could say that...
One that will probably prove beneficial to everyone involved except me.
Sweet business!
I'll go tell the others.
Come on outside, friend. I's got something I wanna show ya.
Will it take long? I'm kinda trying to watch Farscape.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
10-13-04
He tricked me, the bastard.
Whoa now, dat's da hot shit!
Is anyone gonna help him?
Nah, it's probably best to just let them fight it out.
AAAHH!!! SHIT SHIT SHIT!! GET 'EM OFF ME, GET 'EM OFF ME!!!!!

 

by PrimoOoze1138
10-13-04
Four weeks later, after the bandages were removed...
You made a deal with those damn fire ants, didn't you?
No, no, no......maybe. Look, I was just trying to give the people what they wanna see.
Me, covered in fire ants.
Basically.
Dammit, Wat...
Wait til he finds out about my deal with the squirrels. That'll be classic!

 

by PrimoOoze1138
10-13-04
As it turned out, Watson had BIGGER plans for me.
Back off, you damn dirty ant.
That's right, keep on walkin'...
Heeere's Johnny!

 

by PrimoOoze1138
10-14-04
Reason #283
Granted such a place exists.
Hey, is that Tom Cruise?!...
No, wait, this guy's retarded.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
10-14-04
"At any rate, I am convinced that He [God] does not play dice."
God may not play dice...
But WE do!
Catering provided by Doug Pizza.
Hey guys, look. It's Doug!

 

by PrimoOoze1138
10-14-04
Meanwhile, at the Hall of the Super-Deities...
Say, boss, you think we should help that poor guy?
Who? That guy...
AAAAAAAAAHH!!!!!!!
No, dude. That guy's an asshat.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
10-14-04
I broke free from the squirrels long enough to get some new gear...
Alright you squirrely sons-of-a-bitches, come get some!!
OK.
The fight raged straight on through dinnertime. Damnit.
But somehow, I came out of it the victor.
Cost me my appendix and ingrown toenail, but I did it.
Sweet Action!

 

by PrimoOoze1138
10-14-04
And the moral of our little story:
And that, kids, is why I wear socks with sandals.
Bullshit. You wear socks with sandals because you're a frickin' dork. You asshat.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
10-16-04
It looked like a seedy little place, but I was hungry.
And I needed me some damn Chinese food.
Needless to say, the food tasted kinda funny. Then I saw why.
Don't. Eat. The Gazpacho.
Sanitation grade: 78.6
Sank you, sir. Come again.
Yeah. Yeah, I'll do that.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
11-10-04
Hey guys, I just had the best idea ever!
Uh-oh...
Bungie should do an anime version of Master Chief. And you know what they could call it?
...Halo Kitty?...
Halo Kitty! Isn't that great!?
No. Actually, that's sad. Go sit in your cage.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
11-10-04
This game has done more than simply capturing the attentions of teenage guys everywhere...
Pass me the funions, will ya?
Maybe tomorrow...
It's completely desensitized us from just about everything.
Did you guys hear something?
I wasn't paying attention...

 

by PrimoOoze1138
11-11-04
You ever think Bungie's trying to prepare us for something with this game?
Like, what do you mean?
Like, do you think maybe Halo 2 is some kind of training device that's meant to train some kind of ultimate warrior against a forthcoming alien invasion?
You've been reading Ender's Game again, haven't you?
Nope. Starz did a marathon of The Last Starfighter last weekend.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
11-12-04
Where's Will and Jazz?
I haven't seen Will or Jazz for days.
Later that evening...
Hey guys, we just beat Halo 2 on Legendary for the second time today.
It's da hot shit!
Oh...
Right...

 

by PrimoOoze1138
11-12-04
Trips thinks he's found the be-all end-all of Halo strategies. He hasn't.
You know what strategy works best in multiplayer?
What's that?
The trick is to sneak up behind the guy and knife him in the back while he's sniping someone else.
How about you stab yourself in the feet with the back end of the Brute Shot so you give away your position to every other guy on the map?
Can you do that? Is it in the manual?
Whatever, I'm gonna go play some Unreal.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
11-12-04
There's just no pleasing some people.
I dunno. I don't like what they've done with multiplayer. You jump too high, the animation's all fuzzy, the maps are way too big...
Ok. I'm sorry.
And the character models are kinda stupid looking. It's like now...
Tommy then started describing something I imagine would look like this...
Har, I be fightin' the Covenant til I win or the sea takes me!
Master Chief's behind me? Where, behind the pirate?

 

by PrimoOoze1138
11-14-04
So to sum things up, America, we need to come to our senses...
We need to stop fighting over meaningless bullshit...
Hey, look at me. I'm Brad Pitt.
Hey, fuck you! I'm Brad Pitt.
And admit that Halo 2 is actually pretty good.
Word to that.
That is all.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
11-14-04
Not every comic requires dialogue.
Yeah.
Shut up, Justin.
Yeah.
Shut up, Joe #2.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
11-24-04
We're competing to see who can come up with the most esoteric town name.
Zzyzx, California.
Bad Axe, Michigan.
Weed, California.
Manly Hot Springs, Alaska.
Joe, Montana.
Good one.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
11-25-04
Brian challenged me...
Man, you're not one-fifth the man Cool Hand Luke is.
Oh yeah...
One hour and ten deviled eggs later...
* For the record, Cool Hand Luke ate 50 eggs.
Wow, I stand corrected.
Yep, exactly one-fifth.*

 

by PrimoOoze1138
11-26-04
Is this movie ever gonna start?
In a world, where nothing changed, one man decided to be different:
Oh, here we go...
Russell Crowe is: "Evolver"
NOOOO!! Wait...what?

 

by PrimoOoze1138
12-01-04
Welcome to December.
The month of Christmas, snow, and good cheer.
Ho ho ho and all that...
Do I have any of this?
No, because I'm at the friggin' beach!

 

by PrimoOoze1138
12-06-04
Stripcreator is drawn by a live studio audience.
Hey hey, little buddy!
Little? Man, the only thing little around here is your 'hand.' ZING!
Touche, brethren! I'm going to go restock the shelves, then I'm off to accept my Nobel Peace Prize.
Very well, friend. Perhaps I'll attend the ceremony, where wacky antics are bound to ensue!
Alrighty, but whatever you do, don't bring that ferret. Remember what happened last time?
Ah yes, I remember it like it was yesterday...

 

by PrimoOoze1138
12-06-04
The clipshow wherein Watson and Joseph go someplace and remember the best moments of their lives.
Hey, remember when we were in your room last week?
Oh yeah! I remember it like it was yesterday...
Hey hey, little buddy!
Little? Man, the only thing little around here is your 'hand.' ZING!
Man, good times...
That they were.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
12-08-04
All good things must come to an end. Thank God.
Well, little buddy, best be hittin' that dusty trail.
Alright there friend. Take care of yourself.
Yes yes. Farewell and may the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
Alright then.
Author's note: This is not the end of the strip, just the current story arc.
Same as it ever was...

 

by PrimoOoze1138
12-18-04
What am I doing?
I want you to be nice until it's time to not be nice.
Of all the things I could be doing the week before Christmas...
Pain don't hurt.
...I'm watching "Road House".
A polar bear fell on me.

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