All comics by RyanK

 

Hair Of the Dog by RyanK 11-12-02
Say Jesus, is that really your own beard? Yeah baby, 100% pure Christ-Fluff		You know, it kinda looks like a minge. Yup.

 

Applause by RyanK 11-12-02
Look at the size of those flaps....	Oh my God....	I can clap without moving my hands

 

Rupert meets a girl by RyanK 11-12-02
I've been saving dolphins for about 10 years now... Wow that's great! I'd never thought that someone like you could be so environmentally aware!	Hang on 2 minutes!	As you can see, this one's gotten quite smelly... I think I'm gonna wretch.

 

Close to you by RyanK 11-12-02
Do you know Satan? Yup.	Can you ask him to return my Carpenters CD - he's had it for 8 months! Sure.	He loves that shit. I knew it!

 

One too many beers by RyanK 11-12-02
...and then, get this, I rose from the dead!!! Yeah right.	No I really did! And then I fucked off to KFC for a chicken burger. If you say so.	And you're going to hell for not believing me! You Sir, are a twat.

 

PAPER QUALIFICATIONS!!! by RyanK 11-13-02
Got a problem with your PC, huh? I've just been on a course, and here's my certificate to prove it!	I SUMMON THE POWER OF CERTIFICATION!!!!!!!	Funny, that's all I seem to remember from the course... Donkey.

 

Amish Computers LTD. by RyanK 11-13-02
You have received the Amish Virus; because we don't have any computers or programming experience, this virus works on the honour system...	...Please delete all the files on your hard drive and manually forward this virus to everyone on your mailing list. Thanks for your co-operation. The Amish computer engineering department.	Bollocks to that.

 

Timmy! by RyanK 11-14-02
I am a BaNana!		hang on a minute...

 

Until next time... by RyanK 11-19-02
Christmas comes but once a year		Thank God I'm not Christmas

 

Presents! by RyanK 11-20-02
I'm participating in a Secret Santa at work...	I have to buy a present for my boss, Mary, that doesn't cost any more than a fiver...	I wonder if I can get an Ass-Fuck video for £5?

 

In the News Today by RyanK 11-21-02
It's nice to see Michael Jackson hanging one of his kids off a balcony...		...normally he just tosses them off.

 

What will Santa Bring You? by RyanK 12-02-02
I left my girlfriend her Christmas present on her pillow so that she'd see it when she woke up...	She dumped me the next time I saw her...	Maybe a Steaming Turd wasn't my best idea for a Christmas gift...

 

Untitled by RyanK 1-06-03
Well, I find myself single again. Now's the time to grab hold of life with both hands, and fulfill all my dreams. I will not waste any more time adhering to others and their opinions and desires.	I'm gonna live me life for ME and only me! Right, what shall I do first...?	I think I'll have a wank.

 

Chicks Dig Unix! by RyanK 2-11-03
"Stay calm, be confident, and talk about something you know about." That's what my shrink said. Be confident, chicks dig it. Okay, here I go...	Do you like Unix?	Damn.

 

...And on and Ariston... by RyanK 3-20-03
I plan to live forever...		...So far so good...

 

Music for a new generation by RyanK 6-04-03
I copied a music cd today...		Yarrrrrrrrr.

 

This one's for you, kid... by RyanK 12-01-03
Christmas is nearly here again.... I hope it goes better than last year...	I gave my sister a present so big I had to give it in installments, over 4 Christmases, although she didn't seem very grateful...	Funny, I thought all girls like ponies...

 

A romantic thought for one by RyanK 2-14-05
I read on the internet that Saint Valentine is the Patron Saint of Epilepsy and Plague.		Happy Seizure and Death Day.

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