Right, time to load up MS Word, gotta get this essay done.
But then...
Come say that to my fucking face you pieca shit.
It's time to save your work. Here's a tip. Would you like to print your work? It's time to save your work. Would you like to hear a tip. It's time to -
Data, I'm sorry I've taken the piss out of you so much recently...
You should be. Not only have I been emotionally scarred, I've laid awake at night, dreaming about naked men in weird sexual positions. I blame you for this torment S2K...
Hey... I... err, don't really know what to say...
...and when you go outside you just can't feel calm cause your always thinking someone's out to get you and y'know that feeling when you see a man's ass and get turned on and you think oh my god...
Please shut up now.
...and when it goes all over your stomach you just wanna.... Oh... right, the abuse. Yeah... apology accepted.
Orix, sometimes you are a right twat. I mean you like to show off about your "Half-Pipe" and how your Dad buys you anything you want. You know that can really piss people off.
Why don't they pick on someone else. It's just not fair.
What is the world coming to when a man can't spend all his life scripting bots, and spending all his money on shell hosting? It's not like I jack off to animal porn is it?
[ Would you like to set your homepage to www.farmyard-fun.com ? ]
Welcome to Problems Anonymous. We will help you solve your problems. First off, let's go round the group, and each of you must speak out your problems. This will allow us to build a sense of trust.
My name is Trace and I have a problem. From an early age I have resorted to prostitution. And I'm addicted. And I'm ugly. And stupid. Did I mention I'm ugly?
Hello, my name is Elfy. I have a severe problem. Whenever I talk to someone, I can't help but spew random bullshit. It's becoming annoying. I'm down to my last imaginary friend now.
My name is Duncan and I have a problem. FUCKING NTL. WHY IS IT SO SHIT? I've missed SEVEN CYBERSEX SESSIONS NOW!? Do you have ANY IDEA the amount of SEXUAL TENSION I AM FEELING *RIGHT NOW* !?!?!
My name is SB and I don't have a problem. I'm just here to mock you lazy fucks. Dunc you prick.
Hello my nick is Dataforce and I have set mode +problem Dataforce. I am finding it very hard to difficult to disconnect from this error. I couldn't even get excess flood. My throat hurts.
Welcome to Problems Anonymous. We will help you solve your problems. First off, let's go round the group, and each of you must speak out your problems. This will allow us to build a sense of trust.
My name is Trace and I have a problem. From an early age I have resorted to prostitution. And I'm addicted. And I'm ugly. And stupid. Did I mention I'm ugly?
Hello, my name is Elfy. I have a severe problem. Whenever I talk to someone, I can't help but spew random bullshit. It's becoming annoying. I'm down to my last imaginary friend now.
My name is Duncan and I have a problem. FUCKING NTL. WHY IS IT SO SHIT? I've missed SEVEN CYBERSEX SESSIONS NOW!? Do you have ANY IDEA the amount of SEXUAL TENSION I AM FEELING *RIGHT NOW* !?!?!
My name is SB and I don't have a problem. I'm just here to mock you lazy fucks. Dunc you prick.
Hello my nick is Dataforce and I have set mode +problem Dataforce. I am finding it very hard to difficult to disconnect from this error. I couldn't even get excess flood. My throat hurts.
OK, there were 2 ops and the first one says: "Hey my new Eggdrop is finally hosted". So the other guy says: "Hey, cool!". And then the first guy says.. "Hey, it's nice to see you have an eggdrop too".
But... *giggle* But the other guy said... *chortle*.. BUT THE OTHER GUY SAID... (oh you're gonna love this)... he said *splutter* he said...... THATS NO EGGDROP BOT, THAT'S MY WIFE!!! Hahahahahahah!!
Hello again. I'd just like to clear a few things up. In the last comic, I was depicted making sexual comments towards a farmyard animal, the implications of which were that I am a fan of and/or...
...practioner of beastialty/sex with extraterrestrials. I would like to confirm this is not true and 100% fabricated.
[ Coming up next on "When Animals Get Horny With People 2" - Nelly the 6 tonne African Elephant get's jiggy with a zookeeper! ]
Hmm. Would the boss see the funny side if I decided to urinate on his car, only then to make my way into his office, only to leave a huge pile of shat on his £450 leather seat?
Ah, to hell with it.
The following day...
"You... are... fired... P.S. Please find nearby a small gift from me to you. You may also find another in your bed"... Shit...
Hiya babs. I was just doing my nails. I must say you're hair is deeeeeeeeeevine! I'm just about to toodle off to do some clothes shopping with my boyfriend Carl.
A priest recieves an anonymous phone-call, asking for advice.
So you've not found a suitable female partner then?
No. To tell the truth, I have an exceptionally small penis. I am yet to find someone that will love me as a person, rather than simply due to the size of penis.
Such a sad state of affairs. It makes me sad to think that people can be so materialistic, and not love the true personality within. I'm very sorry... err, who are you?