All comics by Satan

 

Werd up, homey. by Satan 1-28-01
One fine summer day... Hello. Will you be my catamite? Hell no!	There's nothing up here worth reading. Croo-sify he-uhm! Hmm... okay.	If this offends you in some way, GO FUCK YOURSELF. That'll teach you to turn down my sexual advances. I'm the king of the JEWS!

 

Don't read this shit. by Satan 1-28-01
Bagoose the wonderdog crusades to make people aware of the world's problems... Did you know that every 3.6 seconds, someone in the world dies of starvation? Fuck Jesus.	............. Did you know that hundreds of acres of trees are cut down every day all over the world? Fuck Jesus.	....... But to no avail. Did you know that species all over the planet come a step closer to extinction everday because of human carelessness? Fuck Jesus.

 

Mr. Cella goes to HELL. by Satan 1-28-01
I've come for you... the one who men call... CELLA. Oh shit... if only I can distract him with Moron Movies...	Does that annoy ya? Does that annoy ya? DAMN RIGHT IT DOES! What the fuck is this? ... Looks like I should turn this one over to someone else...	CELLA, for the crimes against humanity that you call "Moron Movies" and "More Moron Movies," you will burn forever in the fires of HELL!! I knew a sequel was a bad idea.

 

Attempted genocide. by Satan 1-28-01
In the year 2005, a special robot was designed to kill all those people of African lineage. However, the sensors in some of these robots were a little faulty. All - niggers - must - die. - Prepare - to - die, - nigger. But... but... I'm white!	This led to just a few misunderstandings. You - cannot - fool - me, - darkie. Somebody help me!!	At least the robots were enjoying themselves... HA - HA - HA! - Burn - baby - burn!

 

The Evil is unleashed. by Satan 1-29-01
Moron Movies makes its network television premiere... And now, our special feature: Len Cella's MORON MOVIES!!	Does that annoy ya? Does that annoy ya??	Millions across the country commit suicide throughout the airing. They die in their sins and rot eternally in Broomall, unable to be saved by the almighty Moof. Moof is sad. Len Cella is happy. DAMN RIGHT IT DOES!! ... no more ...

 

Jesus sings for you! by Satan 1-30-01
A little ditty... SODOMY!! SODOMY!!	SANTA CLAUS LIKES SODOMY!! SODOMY!! SODOMY!!	THE EASTER BUNNY LIKES SODOMY!! Oooo Oooo Oooo

 

The meditations of Christ on the cross. by Satan 1-30-01
Alan Shepard really SUCKS.	.............	... Damn, does my ass itch.

 

Jimmy sees the light. by Satan 1-30-01
One day, Jimmy the child molester was walking home from the local day care center with a fresh little boy in a bag, when he was run down by a flaming walrus. He was instantly killed. The paramedics tr Oh shit, a flaming walrus!	But even though Jimmy was a dirty, dirty child molester, since he had believed in Jesus, he would go to heaven. Or at least that's what Jack Chick told him. Are you my Jesus... ? Fuck no, dumbass.	Little does Jimmy know that Jesus is a false god created by stupid mortals, and Cthulhu is the one TRUE GOD. Damn those Christians and their fucking lies. I tried to save you, Jimmy. If only you had listened to that death cult member when you were 5, you could be one of my high priests, but now I must devour your soul!

 

Total crap. by Satan 1-28-03
Hi, I'm Jared! If you'd like to get all up on my cock, well, that would just rock balls.	.......	What the fuck? Awww yeah...

 

Movies that suck. by Satan 1-28-03
A critical discussion of films... Man, have you seen feardotcom on DVD yet? It is like, wicked fuckin' cool. I mean, it has Rammstein music in it, how can you go wrong?? I kind of prefer Gummo. It really relates to me, about real world issues, like killing cats while listening to Slayer.	But little did they know, the words GUMMO and FEARDOTCOM uttered in the same conversation opens a dimensional gate!	And I never got the chance to see Wendigo... Welcome to hell.

 

A Day In The Life of Jared. by Satan 1-28-03
Hi, I'm Jared! You're thick, but...	I'd stick it in your butt.	Man, I really thought that line would work. It still could... wink wink, nudge nudge.

 

Further Adventures of Bagoose the Wonderdog. by Satan 1-28-03
At the Confederate Memorial... I am offended by that statue's blatant disrespect for my African-American Heritage. Nothing could possibly offend me more. ... but he's not black...	FUCK JESUS!!	I stand corrected.

 

Fuck work. by Satan 1-28-03
Deep inside Dutch Square Mall, Columbia, South Carolina. Now you have to remember to use a pacific vig-netty, and you gotta sell sell sell, blah blah blah...	Elsewhere in the mall... I cain't dew it MAW!!! I JUST CAIN'T DEW IT!!!!	Fuck this job...

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