All comics by Seke

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by Seke
6-27-04
In the eternal transcendence of the blinking thought, Only I know what is concurring in synchronous momentum.
If for only the slightest moment of inherited authority, a deep conjuring is brewing among the centennial forces.
Only they could understand why the obstitricians are sailing towards the docks.
If it was in their authority, I would not doubt their hand is parlaying the meagerly.
You know...while you're down there.
Certainly.

 

by Seke
6-27-04
We were dunkin' the poor bloody bastads in wata.
Ay, you ought not do that Bobb-ay. Someone on the up-and-ups bound to find out soona or lata!
Can't help it, I fancy the way they splutta and spit when ya bring 'em up.
Oh, Bobby, per-aps ya in the wrong kinda buisness?
You, wanka! What else kinda buisness ought I be in?!
I think you ought to take up the ol' hook an' bait. Watch the fish splutter and spit for a change. Failin' that, you could always become a teacha.

 

by Seke
6-27-04
You're attempt on my life will prove fruitless, I assure you.
Byah! I cwush you wit' gromplin groowl!!
I'm telling you, desist, sir!
GYAH! CHIKIN HEAD OFF! GYAH HA HA HA!!
I feel a new "Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road" anecdote emerging from the void.
GYAH! RUNNING ACOWNS!

 

by Seke
6-27-04
Witnessing this extreme poverty moves me.
I have no legs.
Witnessing this extreme poverty tickles my funny bone.
It takes three months for rainwater to evaporate out of this. The smell of mildew is overwhelming.
Witnessing this extreme poverty moves me to blame this person for his circumstances.
I'm a her :(

 

by Seke
6-29-04
You pay your taxes! Now! Bzzzz!
Say what old chum. How 'bout I give you a makeover instead?
Pay your taxes are feel the wrath of my stinger! Bzzzzgyah!
I'm not sure man, but from where I'm standin' it looks like you ain't got no stinger.
What!? Where!? Oh DAMN IT! Bzzz!
I lost mine too. Or maybe I pawned it, I can't really remember.

 

by Seke
6-29-04
I told him, I said "Don. If you have a problem with my work ethic, then you can just cram that guacomole up your ass."
You said that?
Yeah, I did.
Is it even possible to cram guacomole up someone's ass?
Pah! Go cram some guacomole up your ass!
Bitch, don't turn your back on someone with a broom!

 

by Seke
6-29-04
Nya! I've come to torture you for eternity. Nya!
Is 'at right? Do y'know how I got 'ere?
Prepare to feel my prickly claws bore into your tender flesh!
Cuz y'know. Oh, I get it. Yer going to say, "You took a wrong turn at Albuequerque." I get it. Ha, funny. Course, I neva passed through Albuequerque, so it doesn't make much sense.
......Nya.
So, you fancy a shag then?

 

by Seke
6-29-04
Bya-la-ha-HA! Now is the hour of impending doom for the Forest Rangers!
Poor fool doesn't see the utter defeat that looms before him, despite the fact that it is waiting upon his very doorstep.
Poor bastard, poor poor bastard.
Bya-la-ha-Ha!
Oh MERCY!! Merciless MERCY!
Go boss. Yay.

 

by Seke
6-29-04
What perils await this poor park bench that has foolishly decided to explore the moon?
What heralding adventures lie in its future?
NOOOOOOO!!! Space Squirrel!!!!

 

by Seke
6-29-04
Must...resist...urge...to show...underwear.
Show me your underwear.
Oh...dammnit!...no...no!
Show me your underwear.
DAMMIT!
Ow, my EYES! My BEAUTIFUL VIRGIN EYES!

 

by Seke
6-29-04
'Zup, niggas? Wanna see me bust my street cred?

 

by Seke
6-29-04
In my experience, it takes entirely too much time to floss between every tooth.
That's why I've decided that flossing just isn't for me anymore.
I've decided that instead of flossing, I'm going to do yoga on a daily basis.

 

by Seke
6-29-04
Tensions rise
What I don't understand is why those damn Europhites are encroaching on MY space.
Exactly. They come here. They set up their lawnchairs. It's a travesty.
Analogies are made
And there little eyes bore into us like termites digging for hardwood in a plywood bookshelf.
Yeah, yeah.
Plots are hatched...
I say damn them all Smithy, damn them all.
If they come around me again, I'll bore into them like a termite. Just watch.

 

by Seke
6-29-04
If there's enough time, maybe I could get into explaining why he was chasing me with an axe in the first place.
Fascinating. But really, I'd like to go back and hear your explanation as to why you feel that most chickens are incapable of producing perfectly circular eggs.
Oh, of course. I suppose that does need a bit of explaining.
Ohp, wait. Before you do, it's time for a commercial break!
Did I do alright.
I guess, for someone who can't produce perfectly round eggs.

 

by Seke
6-29-04
Dude, I totally dig that dude! How come you never mentioned it before?
Skeet skat cat, if you'd told me about that, I mighta reconsidered that whole sendin' a letterbomb to your house thing.
Mmf, ghdrg, memphuh!
Give it to me! I'll trade you this nice box.
Please protect me Colossal Dave, before one of them takes me away.
The vegetable which performs oral pleasure belongs to me, and will only perform its services ON ME! I must ask all of you to refrain from your groveling immediately.

 

by Seke
6-29-04
Mmphuh, webumfuh. :(
There there old pal. I know how you feel. I wanted to take home that dick-sucking pumpkin too.
:( Wama-umphah! Shebamumfahmerumfaah!!
That's true, you two would have alot more in common.
Uhmemfuhmevahmooh!
Yeah, I guess you won't. Atleast I still got ol' boxey here. I bet he could outsu-Ow! BOXEY!! Sheesh, bastard's teethin.

 

by Seke
6-29-04
Mwah! Mehrumphalah! Ginglah!!!
Shemamblah! Chechigrundulah! Shabah! Shibemambah! Gegrungrumproooh!!!
I think she's ignoring you.
Me-mooh:(
Y'know, maybe you should just become a monk. Or start taking Miracle Grow. One or the other.

 

by Seke
6-29-04
Y'know Kenny, I'm really beginning to debate over whether or not having you as our field technician is such a good thing.
Shut up, damn you! I have no time to coalesce with mere mortals!!
You hog the computer all the time. The rest of us are never able to get our work done. I'm beginning to consider the option of talking to the head manager.
Fucker! Ah! You want pain, don't you!? DON'T YOU!?
Are you talking to me, or to one of your little friends online?
What? Who are you? Where am I? Bring me pie!

 

by Seke
6-29-04
Y'know, I clearly remember setting that toaster on my desk three years ago.
Alot can happen in three years Minnie, alot.
Yeah, it was sitting there and every morning I'd use it to toast bread and the like.
For example, three years ago, I had yet to discover that my legs were powerful enough to serve as transportation. All the other sharks just swam along, and I just figure'd I was to do the same.
Then again, I could be confusing it with the microwave.
Confusing my legs with a microwave? That's just silly Minnie, just silly.

 

by Seke
6-30-04
BATTLE TO THE DEATH! YES!?
YES!!
FRIENDSHIP!! YES!?

 

by Seke
7-01-04
It's over there.
No-wait, wait-it's over there.
Oh, I see it!

 

by Seke
7-01-04

 

by Seke
7-02-04
Hey! HEY!!
Wanna smoke up kids?
There's just one of me. And I'm not a kid, I'm a cat.
Come' ere! Come 'ere! I'm a kid!!
Alright, we have a winner!

 

by Seke
7-02-04
Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we-
Yes, dammit, we're here!!
So, uh, where is here exactly?
Bah! Where am I!?

 

by Seke
7-02-04
Can't nobody hold me down! Oh, no! I got to keep on moo-Oh, hello.
Hey, there, fella.
Uhm, I don't really know where I am. Or how I got here.
Me neither, one day I'm shootin Yankees on green earth under blue skies, then Pow! I wake up and everythin's like this.
So, uh, you think we're in Mexico or somethin'?
Mexico? Makes sense. But no one e'er told me before how mean these Mexican sunabitches can be. I tell ya, e'eryone of em's bound for Hellfire.

 

by Seke
7-04-04
In the name of all that is good and right on the moon, I decree that this random object that has sprung out of the ground be obliterated.
I don't know. Doesn't thing thing look like a good place to store our Space Acorns?
Heresy! We may only store our Space Acorns in the Space Acorns Vault! This object could be poisonous, it could desecr-
So, why are we sitting on it?
Well....well....it just feels right, doesn't it?
I decree this the new Space Acorns Vault! Rejoice!

 

by Seke
7-07-04
Yaarghhh!
Yeah, yarg.
No, no. Not yarg. Yaaarrrghhhhh!
Oh, right, right. Ahem. Yaaaaaarrrrrrrg.
Jiminy crickets! Go back to college you scurvy dew higglin.
Oh-uh-yaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrggghhhhhhhhh-that reminds me, you got any yogurt?

 

by Seke
7-07-04
Get what's coming to you, poor Spulnka.
Honey, is that you? I was just thinkin, how great would it be to go to San Diego this winter?
Prepare to be severely beaten and bruised for your mistakes, Spulnka.
Oh good, you got the duster, I was thinkin' you'd let-
WHACK! HA HA HA! Grovel, treacherous SPULNKA!
Ugh...wha....floor...dusty...ugh.

 

by Seke
7-08-04
I made you.
No! You fool! I made YOU!!
No...I remember buying that hair. And the superglue I used to stick the hair to your head.
You fool! It was I who bought hair and superglue!
I'm afraid I must declare you a failed project.
You are the failure! Why else would you have forgotten to stick any hair on the top of my head, hmmm?!!

 

by Seke
7-08-04
mmmyessssmm
Ahhhh!! What the hell!?
This ain't a show, buster. Hit the road!

 

by Seke
7-08-04
What!? I smell the unseemly funk of evil afoot!
Lo! What stands before me but a minion of the Rancid Employer of Evil! Robot scum!!
Oh shit, it's the forest rangers.
Flee fool! Tell your master that his end awaits him! It is straddled along the biceps of one clad in sky baby blue and cream!

 

by Seke
7-09-04
Oh my God! It's the Forest Rangers!
Everybody run for your lives, it's the Forest Rangers!
Oh my God! Oh my God!
Now, unsavory repscalion, prepare for justice to commence!
Please, don't kill me! I only make minimum wage!

 

by Seke
7-09-04
Stand aside!
You are indeed brave, sir knight, but if you wish to keep your life, leave now!
Fuck you.

 

by Seke
7-09-04
One day, Poppy Pony was wandering in the wilderness.
Oh, I am so afraid.
He came upon a little man with a pot of gold.
What is this? A little man. What does he have?
A pot of gold!
Poppy Pony became terribly cross, and stole the little man's pot of gold. Then he went to Vegas. In Vegas, he was discovered by local authorities, and put in prison.
Oh, I am so afraid.

 

by Seke
7-09-04
I'm leader of Free World. Evil is not tolerated. Wait a sec, I'm leader of Free World? Doesn't that mean I get some sorta discount, cuz uh-what?
No sir, you're leader of the free world, not leader of free world.
Oh....Yeah, Free World. Leader?
Yes.
Well, uh, y'know, I don't really need a discount. I mean, I'm the president, I've got alotta money. Lotta dinero, y'know?
Shh! No, no you don't. You're an everyday joe, you're one of the common guys. Ex-nay, oney-may!

 

by Seke
7-09-04
Ex-nay oney-may...ex-nay oney-may....Yeah, that's the uh, Prime Minister of Yugo Slavia. I remember him.
No, sir! No sir! That's not the prime minister of Yugoslavia!
Then what's his name, necktie?
It's Yugoslavia not Yugo Slavia.
P.M. Oney-May has waged war with the terrorists. He is on the sight of rightness and....justice...I applaud Mister Oney-May.
Goddammit!!

 

by Seke
7-09-04
Ohhh shiiiititititit!
YeeeahhhhHhh!
I can read your mind.
YeeeahhhhHhh!
I think you're saying shiitiititititit.
YeeeahhhhHhh!

 

by Seke
7-09-04
I have always enjoyed reading.
Newspaper editorials provoke my thoughts.
Perhaps I will read you on some occasion.
Yes.
Are you reading me?

 

by Seke
7-11-04
I-AM-FROM-EARRRTH. CAN-YOU-SAY-THAT? EARRRRTH.
bIJndi vednva BJIN,diy, niVnir
Shv,idn,um aidI,na Vi!olOp

 

by Seke
7-12-04
What Mr. Moore has said...in his films...are ludi...are ridic...are dumb.
Will the White House move to disprove Moore's claims?
Lemme tell ya what we're gonna do. We're gonna smoke 'im out, get 'im on the run, then hogtie 'im and bring 'im to justice.
Mr. President, is that a threat to burn down Moore's house and arrest him?
That ain't a threat, it's a...pledge. It's kinda like that brand of...that cleanin' stuff. We're gonna squirt Moore an' wash 'im away.

 

by Seke
7-12-04
Listen, I am a WAR president. I don't worry much about legal grounds, I worry more about blowing up grounds, understand?
Mr. President, do you find any conflict whatsoever in considering yourself both a war president and a compassionate conservative?
I did not authorize that question. Next. You?
Yes, Mr. President, what's three times three?
Damn it! I didn't authorize that question either! Press conference over!

 

by Seke
7-12-04
Poor innocent lamb to the slaughter. If only you knew what sordid webs life has in store for you.
If only those two maniacs who dipped their hands in to create you had considered half the suffering you will be forced to endure.
I pity you, wretched fool. I pity you.

 

by Seke
7-12-04
Oh man, I mean what's it gonna be, y'know? Bull or bear, uh?
Who can tell anymore? I know I can't.
I can't live like this anymore, Mike. Market always fluctuating. Today an empire, tomorrow an...an apocalypse!
C'mon man, it's just the times we live in. That's how life is, man! Ebb and flow, up and down, bull or bear.
I don't care, I need stability. I need a new life, a career change.
Look man, you can go and dig in the dirt if you want. Or you can be like me and grab the bull by the horns!

 

by Seke
7-12-04
Woof!
Huh!?
Grrrrr!
Wait a sec...Bo, is that you?
...maybe.
Oh, gross! Is that your idea of condom!?

 

by Seke
7-14-04
Swimming through the galactic void, her journey is cold and isolated.

 

by Seke
7-14-04
You Bowser?
No. You Mario?
No.
Then...then who are you?
Find out who Bowser really is, in the next harrowing edition of Mario Revelations!
I'm a fourteen-year old boy, sitting in front of his television set. Who are you?

 

by Seke
7-14-04
In our last edition of Mario Revelations! Mario revealed that he was non other than a 14 year old boy. In this issue, we discover the true identity of Bowser!
Mario?
Bowser's true identity and the location of Princess Toadstool on the next Mario Revelations!
Bowser! Who are you, really? And how'd you get out of the T.V?
Mario, you son of a bitch. Where'd you put Toadstool?

 

by Seke
7-14-04
In our last edition of Mario Revelations! Bowser escaped from the Nintendo to harass a fourteen year old boy!
I don't know where Toadstool is.
Take me to her, or I'll toast your ass.
Uh, here I am.
Love confessions?! Tune in next week to find out on Mario Revelations!
Toadstool...
Bowser?

 

by Seke
7-14-04
I was never able to express my feelings before, but now that we've achieved the third dimension, there's something I have to tell you.
How come I'm all pixelated and you're not?
Princess Toadstool, I want to lay your eggs.
Uh yeah, Mario, a little help?
Bowser back to his deviant ways? Find out on the next Mario Revelations!
You deny me my only desire? So be it. I think you know how the rest of this goes.
Mmm, I hate being kidnapped.

 

by Seke
7-14-04
Mario, his true form? A fourteen year old boy.
MARIO HELLLLLP!!!
Wha? What'd you do with Toadstool?
Mario dead!? Find out on the next Mario Revelations!
Aaaagh!
I see you're no match for my fire attacks in the third dimension Mario. Burn in peace.

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