All comics by Shed

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by Shed
2-27-01
One day in a terrible strip...
I can do it...
Excuse me...
Yes?
Um... nothing.
Damn this human/robot sexual tension scenario. Damn it and damn Shed's feeble writing!

 

by Shed
2-27-01
One day in Mediocre City...
Why did the chicken kill itself?
Um... I don't know...
To get to the other side!
*chortle* What brought this on?
I've always hated you...
Ah well, KFC for tea...

 

by Shed
2-27-01
In a few days time...
All your base are belong to us !!
Move all 'zig' ...?
Yes, whatever. It's old hat now.
HA HA HA HA .....
Damn, trapped in another poor strip...

 

by Shed
2-27-01
Just another day in a bad strip...
Oh no... it's happening again...
NNNNNGH!
Ta-dah!
Even I wasn't expecting that!

 

by Shed
2-27-01
Gilbert and George's experiment in comic strips was thankfully shortlived.

 

by Shed
2-27-01
Hmm. Did she just give birth to a dancing dog?
Not sure myself!
I like the fact that you don't know.
Who needs punchlines when you have quantity!
We should just transcribe our chat sessions to Lowpass.
Transcription would be rather smart...

 

by Shed
2-27-01
A little later in Mediocre City...
...cool. Drop by whenever you like.
Ciao...
Umm...
Come back, I've run out of material!
You can always have someone giving birth to me again...

 

by Shed
2-27-01
Shed realises something...
From spending hours reading these strips thanks to cancelled lectures, I've realised you need to make them offensive in some way.
The problem is, I don't *do* offensive. I'm a nice guy and won't use homophobia or anything to get a cheap laugh. So here's my offensive remark...
You smell of sick.

 

by Shed
2-27-01
"Here on the plains of Africa, one of the most feared and little understood creatures in the world lives..."
"...nobody knows where it goes by day and the nomadic people of the plains can get about their daily business. However, at dusk falls the howls of this beast signal its arrival..."
"...for here lives the poxy comedy dog on a ball."
Aaargh!
Ta-dah! Woof woof!

 

by Shed
2-27-01
That evening in Mediocre City (resembling Cardiff)
Hey S...
Oh, hi... up to much?
Just trying to throw people off the whole "Moh" thing by making an unscheduled stop in your strip.
Sounds like a good idea to me. It should work too...
Aaaaaaaargh!
I'm clearly not here as a clever narative... maybe Shed's been drinking too much to bother with a punchline!

 

by Shed
2-27-01
Another day at the law office doohickey
Ooh dear, I'm looking chubby...
Hey Ally, isn't it time for an amusing hallucination/dance/ witty aside?
"Oogachacka ooga ooga oogachacka ooga ooga..."
Do you think that was quirky enough?
Should be. Just roll that hem up and defend someone in court and we can go home for tea!

 

by Shed
2-28-01
George W Bush's initial speech...
Hello, I'm your president, George W. Bush. I know I look a little different in this strip to usual...
I'd like to thank you for voting me in. I'm an alcoholic who believes in the death penalty and carrying guns whilst being anti-abortion and pro-life.
Duh! You voted in a paradox!

 

by Shed
2-28-01
Shed and Kade in Mediocre City...
So here we are.
Yep.
Um...
Um...
I'll get my coat.
I'm off for a cigarette.

 

by Shed
2-28-01
I have a fantastic project to put to you...
Shoot. Does it involve Java?
Possibly. It's an embedded webserver in a toilet. From your browser you can see if it's engaged and check whether the seat's been left up.
That would rock. You could have a button to click on that flushes it remotely.
Just another afternoon when Kade and Shed avoid work.
We should write an RFC to set out a protocol.
That would *so* rock

 

by Shed
3-01-01
Professor Lackslacks lair...
Ever since I first saw her I've wanted to be Lara Croft. Can you turn me into her?
Oh ja, nein problem
Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!
I feel like her, but... hey wait, I look like crap!
Um, yes... exit stage right...

 

by Shed
3-01-01
Maura's house...
dum de dum
* ring ring *
Oh no! No matter how hard I try I can't lift my arms!
* ring ring *
I knew I shouldn't have eaten those radishes!
* BOOM! *

 

by Shed
3-01-01
Maura tries out her psychic abilities
Think of a number, Russ.
Cool. Okay!
I'm reading your mind...
...hmm, what number... hey, she's kinda cute... um, er... 69! Hee hee hee, I'll make her ask me if I've got a 69 in mind, cool...
Oops! I guess there's a moral to this story...
Yes! Don't try and psychically hit on a mind-reading radish eater!

 

by Shed
3-01-01
Playground duelling in Mediocre City
Ready...
... Draw!
*BANG!*
*BANG!*
I said it first. I win, you're dead.
Only because you're stood on the left. I knew I shouldn't have stood on the right... or played in Hebrew!

 

by Shed
3-01-01
Congratulations on buying a Mac. A Mac is a nice, easy to use computer.
Later...
But surely a nice, easy to use computer will work fine with my existing Wintel network and will be able to share printers and files...
Later still...
Why, Apple, why?
Forget it - I ain't connecting. Get some more Macs instead.

 

by Shed
3-01-01
The Mac problem continues...
So you could run DAVE on your Mac, MacLan on a Windows machine, run Windows 2000 print services, TCP/IP printing through Linux or buy a proprietary print server or give up and buy a long USB lead.
But all those solutions are crap...
Well I'm very sorry sir but you really should consider replacing all your PCs with Macs. (Please.)
No, forget it. Macs are rubbish.
You're rubbish, Mac.
Maybe - but at least I'm rubbish with a smiley face logo!

 

by Shed
3-01-01
Mock the afflicted
*chuckle*
Dear Mr Smith, we regret to inform you that we will not be employing you at McDonalds.
Get a following
I shall be your puppet on earth.
Yes!
Blow evil wind into peoples' faces
*blow*
Aaaargh!

 

by Shed
3-01-01
Reprogram phone rings to the Death March
Dum Dum Duh-dum Dum Duh-Dum Duh-Dum Duh-Dum
Tee hee
Be a bad stand-up comedian
I'm not saying my mother-in-law's fat... because she's not. She's skeletal actually.
Annoy people collecting for charity
Spare some change for Cancer charities?
You mock me, mortal, I want them quicker!

 

by Shed
3-01-01
Taunt lower beings
Stupid pathetic dog, can't even catch a stick
Woof
"Be" invisible
Boo!
Who said that?
Invent Mac networking standards
Welcome to Macintosh
AppleTalk 2.1... hee hee hee!

 

by Shed
3-02-01
Indy Pete is on Lowpass.net again...
Reload... Reload... Reload... Reload... Reload... Aha!
*click*
*Sigh* Another strip devoid of humour, with the mistaken belief that Jesus swearing and a hint of homophobia is entertaining in any way.
Reload... Reload... Reload... Reload...

 

by Shed
3-02-01
Start annoying cult phrases
Pssst! All Your Base Are Belong To Us - pass it on.
Hey, that's a great cult phrase... I will disseminate it forthwith!
Show up at airports
You're mine in half an hour...
Rob people of their sight
My eyes! My beautiful eyes!
Hee hee...

 

by Shed
3-09-01
Tyler has just graduated from Hogwarts...
Time to try out my powers...
Dum de dum...
Lumos maura!
Aiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!
Yes!
Wah wah wah wah...

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