All comics by Slayer_X5

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by Slayer_X5
8-05-02
Shit, I wake up after 19-something years and I'm greated by KISS.
OH SHIT! CHRIST IS GONNA BE PISSED AT ME...
Ok, keep calm... He's just a pussy, not a real satanist...
Ok, keep calm, he knows I'm not a real satanist... heheheh, shit...
Why Jesus officially bans Rock N' Roll
So...
So...

 

by Slayer_X5
8-05-02
You do know that if I take that hammer, I could kill you. Or make you retarded.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Yeah, ya see, screaming won't make the pain go away any faster.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Why you should never consruct a helmet while wearing it.
Damnit Bob!
...

 

by Slayer_X5
8-05-02
Aaaaggghhh
Sir, sir, your smell is making me faint...
Aaaagghhh
Shit, are you like, fucking retarded?
Night of the Living Catholic Priests
Rarrr... Father Brown molest...
AAAAAHHH!

 

by Slayer_X5
8-05-02
Oooh man, it feels good to warm up...
Wait... doesn't fire do something to me? Shit, what is it!?
Our public education system at work.
Ah well, it'll come to me

 

by Slayer_X5
8-05-02
ALRIGHT, ALL THE MONEY IN THE REGISTER, RIGHT HERE, IN A PAPER BAG! FAST!
Alright sir, no need to worry, I'm not a hero.
COMMON, COMMON, I HAVN'T GOT ALL DAY!
I understand sir, here's the money, please sir, I don't want to get hurt...
In the land of the Animals, Zoos are prisons.
Shit, I need take the warnings they give after a zoo escape seriously!

 

by Slayer_X5
8-05-02
Heeeeyy, tentacles, do you have a mirror in your pocket, because I can just see myself in your pants...
ACCURSED MORTAL, THE GREAT CTHULU SLEEPS WITH NO MORTAL, ESPECIALLY NOT A MAN!
Oooh, that hurts baby, so you swing THAT way... Get THAT all the time...
UUUGHH, THE MORTALS IN THIS BAR!
Hell doesn't have singles bars.
SATAN, WHY DO YOU ALWAYS BRING ME HERE?
What, Cthulu, why do you always have to object to EVERY place we go!?

 

by Slayer_X5
8-05-02
beep beep
bloop bloop
beep beep
bloop bloop
Hey, robots weren't made for conversation!
beep beep
bloop bloop

 

by Slayer_X5
8-05-02
So, what's new, squirreley?
Nothing, gabe-o.
Squirreley, yo, do you ever think we should have gotten jobs?
Well, that would be hard, considering that my ass is glued to the bench.
Why squirrels make up such a small portion of our work-force.
Yeah, that can make moving hard...
Damn strait, now get me a nut!

 

by Slayer_X5
8-05-02
ooooh, yeah... Oh baby... aaahhh...
Yeah... ooompphhh
Baby, you make me so hot...
Oooh yeah, I know that...
A porn star always needs to review his/her work.
I love your nipple rings and fucked up straps, that's so good!
Yeah, me too...

 

by Slayer_X5
8-05-02
Sir, I'm gonna have to arrest you
WHAT!? WHY!?
Indecent exposure sir. That and public consumption of alcoholic beverages.
Little did Officer Softy know the long, harrowing tale behind the disapearance of this mans pants. I'll make it short. Bar. Dare. Wolverine.
Please sir, put some pants on, and I'll let you go.
That could get difficult.

 

by Slayer_X5
8-05-02
RAAR! TOBOR CORNHOLE ASIANGIRL2! RARR!
Shit, just, shit...
RAAR! TOBOR IS BECOMING OLD AND TIRED! RAAR! TOBOR NO CORNHOLD ASIANGIRL2!
Phew!
Sometimes, oldies are still goodies...
TOBOR READ TOBOR POETRY TO ASIANGIRL2! THERE ONCE WAS ROBOT NAMED TOBOR! HE WENT RAR AND CORNHOLED WHEN SOBOR! HE FUCKED UP THE ASS AND LISTENED TO JAZZ! THEN HE MADE TOBOR POETRY AND PAZZ! RAAR!
OH GOD NO!!!

 

by Slayer_X5
8-06-02
SATAN! WHY IS IT THAT WE ALWAYS GO TO THE PLACED THAT YOU WANT TO GO!? WHEN WILL THERE BE TIME FOR ME!?
Oh, Cthulu, we DO go to places you want to go! Remember Lucifer's cocktail party? We went, and I knew NOBODY there!
WELL, NAME ANOTHER TIME!
Remember when we sent nightmares to H.P. Lovecraft? Didn't we have fun?
Evil needs love too...
WELL, YES...
Oh, now baby, don't worry, there's still romance with us!

 

by Slayer_X5
8-08-02
I see you have an axe...
Yes... It's good for chopping... um.. wood...
Yes... Axes are good for that...
Yes... not for anything... like, killing people...
Psychotic serial killers do NOT relish each other's company.
Of course not...
Every time I go out...

 

by Slayer_X5
8-11-02
God, Bob, you are so pathetic. Can't I leave you alone for a couple hours without you almost killing yourself or getting stuck in something?
That's when you need a new room mate.
No.

 

by Slayer_X5
8-12-02
*gasp* are you... are you...
Shit, is that one of those priest-people?
all my years of prayer... finally... I have been chosen...
Um... Yes... my, um... Son
Can I have your autograph?
...

 

by Slayer_X5
8-14-02
Uhh, this is the place... 462 N. Weathermount... Yeah, this is it.
Yes?
Are you Sharon Patson?
Death needed a temp job (damn modern medicine).
Yeah, that's me?
I want to introduce you to an exciting new oppurtunity in the field of Pyramid Sales!

 

by Slayer_X5
8-21-02
It says here that your mother has been pronounced a dog.
Huh? The City insulted my mom?
Nonono, they discovered she's actually a dog.
They never give enough detail in those government notices...
Well...
What kind of dog?

 

by Slayer_X5
9-01-02
Say, you look like you're in a rush!
I best be on my way, them rototurbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!
Oh... they... won't? Will.. they...
No, they won't.
Scientists are pricks.
Oh... I see...
No you don't.

 

by Slayer_X5
9-06-02
Bob's down on his luck.....
Excuse me, sir, can i have some money?
Go to hell.
Bob makes a bad deal....
I shall give you your hearts desire for your forever lasting soul to burn and be mutalated for the rest of eternaty in hell.
Sounds cool to me!
Areent you supposed to be doing this to me???
Shutup, im busy

 

by Slayer_X5
9-06-02
HOLLY FUCK! I need some help winning this war man!

 

by Slayer_X5
9-06-02
Jane's been baaaaaad
They said i coundnt raise a child! They said i was on too many drugs and having sex with too many men at the same time! Well did i prove them wring or WHAT?
I adopted a child and smothered her with love!!
And a pillow.

 

by Slayer_X5
9-06-02
Odd characters....
..... And the whole time the asshole was just staring at me chest!!!!
Ya.... I know, um, how it feels and stuff.
... And to think i actually gave this guy a chance! He was just trying to look down my blowse the whole time!!!!
Ya, thats so not cool.
The only decent guys are ugly.The only decent guys are ugly.The only decent guys are ugly. The only decent guys are ugly.The only decent guys are ugly.The only decent guys are ugly.

 

by Slayer_X5
10-01-02
Heeheehee! I like little children...
dude, I'm, like, 32... wait a second...
Heeheehee! COME HERE YOU SWEET YOUNG THING!!!
OH DEAR GOD!!!!
The good thing about child molesters is that those fatasses are too out of shape to rape my ass.
*cough* wait.. *wheeze* young *cough* thing...

 

by Slayer_X5
10-03-02
Where do you go after lunch?
Room 13, why?
Room 13? Ooh, you have the dungeon...
Isn't that nickname a ripoff of Boston Public? Unoriginal...
I think the superintendent is going to hear from some mothers this year...
Oh this can't be good...
Heee heee hee hooo hooo hoo! If you read the syllabus, you'll note bondage will be covered in the second semester, you must bring your own supplies...

 

by Slayer_X5
10-15-02
Take this you greedy corporate scum! I'm rebelling!
By smoking Marlboro?
Uh... Yeah... Smoking is all, like, rebellious...
Shutup! You've got another loyal customer!
Yes, now fork over some more dough for another pack!

 

by Slayer_X5
1-04-03
Aaagh!
Get his mask off! Get that sucker to off his FACE, man!
NO, NO, NO, NO!!!
Hey, his shoues, they got pads! The runt wears elevator shoes!
Obligatory watchmen reference. I guess it could have been better... Oh well.
NO!!! MY FACE!!! GIVE IT BACK!!!
Who IS he? This ugly little zerio is the terror of the underworld...

 

by Slayer_X5
1-04-03
Spoiler warning...
Where are you going?
Back to owlship, back to America. People must be told.
You know I can't let you do that.
Of cousrse. Must protect Veidt's new utopia. One more body amongst foundations makes little difference. Well? What are you waiting for? Do it.
I thought this was the one of the most powerful sequences in the book. I had to emulate it. I think the lack of effect is what makes this version so interesting.
Rorschach...
DO IT!

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