All comics by Syanide

Profile

 

by Syanide
11-10-03
Welcome to Road Kill Cafe...you kill, it we grill it!
Well...I...don't really have anything to grill
hmmm...never had someone with nothin to grill before
Well, can't I ORDER something?!
No, but I'm sure we could arrange something!

 

by Syanide
11-10-03
I shall feast apon your soul!
goo gah poopy!
....
I want your SOUL PATHETIC MORTAL!
FEAR ME! bwwwwhahahaha...eh screw it
???

 

by Syanide
11-10-03
Welcome to Smack in the Crotch can I take your Order?
Yeah...YOU SHALL FEAR ME!!
Would you like to Up Size that for 39 cents?
Wha..?! Aren't you scared?! The blood, the mask, the Scythe....of DOOM!
Ummm...Seasoned or Curly Fries?
Oh for the Love of...Screw it!

 

by Syanide
11-10-03
Why I hate my Job...
Hi, This is Syanide. Thank you for calling BellSouth how may I help you?
Yeah uh, my fast internet thingy isn't wurkin right.
An ACTUAL Call I recieved
Alright Sir, I believe you mean your DSL connection. Now is your Modem turned on?
The box with them blinkin lights? Yea, sure is!
Wow... boggles the mind!
Excellent, now what about your Computer? Is that on as well?
Com...what? I got my internet thingy hooked to the T.v!!

 

by Syanide
11-10-03
As We come to NBC
Next on SNL, More of Jimmy Kimmel's retarded singing!
*sigh* NEXT!
As We come to FX
Now for EVEN MORE X-Files here on...FX! Followed by 3 SOILD hours of Buffy!
What the?!
As We come to USA Network
Yes! Welcome BACK to the all day marathon of Walker, Texas Ranger!
I really need to see what this "Outisde" everyone's talking about is....

 

by Syanide
11-10-03
Hey Syanide, what's up man?
Ah, well I'm trying to find this "Outside" on Google man.
Uh...Sy, all you have to do is Open the door!
Lies! All Lies!
Yeah well, I guess I'm going OUTSIDE to get some fresh air then.
SHUT THAT DAMN DOOR....dear god, the light...searing my EYES!

 

by Syanide
11-10-03
Hey Syanide, wanna play some D&D?!
Man Sparta, I'm trying to watch my bootleg of the New Lord of the Rings!
A pounding comes from the Door...
Whoa! Who's that?!
Oh shit! I knew I was talking too loud!
When from outside the Door comes...
THIS IS THE RIAA, WE'RE OPENING FIRE!
Grrr, Syanide...

 

by Syanide
11-11-03
Must reach 1,000,000th post...
Oghr...you have serious Internet addictions.
Whoa, whoa...Addiction?! Let's not get started about ADDICTIONS!
Huh? Dunno what you are talking about...
Oh PUH-LEASE! Like I didn't find your Gay Porn hidden in the CareBears DVD cases!
I think the question we have to ask here is "What the Hell were YOU doing trying to watch a CareBear movie?" You HOMO

 

by Syanide
11-11-03
Hey Oghr, wanna check out Matrix III? Or were you just gunna watch some "Care Bears"?
Har Har Har! I was actually gunna...ummm...
Gah! Whatever I'm going to do, it WON't involve watchin' porn ok?!
Suit yourself. Just a little heads up... "Care Bears 3 : A Christmas Story" comes on tonight.
Oh whatever, assclown!
Well I'm off to the Matrix III and some hot women! w00t

 

by Syanide
11-11-03
Hey Oghr I'm home!
Oh...alright then...
What are you doing anyway??
I...uh...am NOT in my secret Porn Lair! *gah!*
You're WHERE?!
*So much evidence left to burn....time...running out!* I said the Bathroom!

 

by Syanide
11-11-03
Dude, I really think we need to go to the Jimmy Buffet Concert!
Excusssse me?! Don't we remember the LAST time we went to a concert?!
You were runnin around with your pants around your ankles cryin like a little girl!
Look, the guy swore to me it was Pixie Stix candy!
Yeah, and that stuff you shoot up everynight's Insulin right? Right.
Hey hey now...you leave Mr. Black Tar outta this! What'd he do to you?!

 

by Syanide
11-11-03
Syanide here, the Author of these "comics" and main Character.
Yo, I'm Oghr, roommate and friend of Syanide
Sparta be me! Net Homie of Syanide's
Hola, I'm Ruben. Good friend to Syanide when I need money or attention!
I'm FEAR ME! Appearing randmonly throughout this place!
Bob, I work at RoadKill Cafe, and lifelong friend of Syanide.

 

by Syanide
11-11-03
Wow, this sure is a nice house!!!
I just got it!!!
What the hell did you do to get this???
Well.....
?!?!
All I can say is, Mrs. Robinson had a secret desire to have her way with an Amish man and 25 lbs. of whale blubber...the rest is history.

 

by Syanide
11-12-03
dood, im soooo f0rkin 1337!!!! w00t
What? What are you babbling about?!
wtf?! dood, u noe, 1337? im tha r0xx0r!
Do I need to get the Cattle Prod again??
omg omg dood, u have noe idea how sex0r i am do uuu?!
Excuse me for a second, I must get something from the other room...

 

by Syanide
11-14-03
Hey Oghr, you do any drugs?
Hell yeah man, I take 2 fred's and a betty every morning!
Freds and Bettys? What are those? Some new street drug??
Man! It's those Flintstones vitamins!!
Ummm...dude, you seriously worry me sometimes...
You ever sniffed a Dino?! Man that shit FUCKS you UP!!

 

by Syanide
11-14-03
An Actual Conversation Overheard at Work
You shouldn't be drinking Diet Coke, that stuff causes Cancer
What?
You know, the sugar substitue, it causes Cancer when you drink it all the time.
Umm...well it only occurs in LAB rats, I'm not a LAB rat...I'm a HOOD rat!
Wha? What did you just say??
I'm not a damn Lab Rat, I'm a Hood rat.

 

by Syanide
11-26-03
Over at the Help Desk...
Syanide here, thanks for calling Bellsouth DSL Help Center, what can I do for you?
Um like... yeah... My phone line is messing up and stuff
Oh I'm sorry about that M'am, I really couldn't assist you, it's not department, but I can give you a number to someone who'd be happy to help.
But like... what am I supposed to do? The phone line isn't working and I can't make calls or stuff
I can't do anything about your PHONE line Miss, this is for DSL Internet Help only, would you like the number?
Can I like, make an appointment with someone to like, help me fix this or something?

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