Double Vision by Tienshin11-22-03 Now that the world has ended somebody needs to repopulate it Who me? Yeah, we're like Adam and Eve now Hey, you are right. One sec lemme get my glasses Trust me you don't them good point they would only ruin the moment
Deep Thoughts by Tienshin11-22-03 You ever feel like you don't control your own destiny? Dunno, how do you mean? ...like life is passing us by...changing? Nah. We'd notice something like that. Maybe you're right...I should relax. What does zero cabin pressure mean?
Keep It Real by Tienshin11-22-03 You can't hug puppies with nuclear arms man! Hey man, like...make jobs not war! Before you say anything, Saddam and Osama told me to let you know...keep up the good work.
Frank discussion by Tienshin11-26-03 MEANWHILE!!!! ...I dont get it My point is, you can't force it in, it takes time and a gentle touch But what if that doesn't work? Then you sir, would clearly not be ready for such mature situations, and would then need to rethink your level of maturity So what is the vaseline for again? The poopshoot, try to keep up
Crossed Wires by Tienshin11-26-03 Why are the lights off in here? I can't see. I thought it might add some shizzle to da night What's shizzle? You know baby, da hot stuff...I'm just keeping it rizzeal. Are you black??? Are you blond???
mISFIRE by Tienshin11-26-03 Um...why am I wearing this? We're on a boat. No, you are on a boat...I am standing here on the street ...But? Street. Wait, WHAT? That acid really got on top of you, huh?
HAHA YOU SUCK by Tienshin11-26-03 Hey dude Hey, Rat...wassup? Why are you in a graveyard? AZEAN DOMINATION...BITCH! THATS WHY! Dude been hitting the bong So, uh, you wanna fight or something? AZEAN DOMINATION...IM GONNA KILL YOUR BLACKASS Bong hits distort the truth. Alright, you have fun with that...Im gonna go drink some beers AZEAN DOMINATION...NOW I CAN GRAB YOUR ASS!
Don't go there by Tienshin11-26-03 This is wrong Hey baby, mah name is Creak. You wanna party? I'm sorry. I only play with dollies, hehe. Wanna cookie? Wronger... Oh, I got your cookie....in mah PANTS! Boys wear pants, girls wear skirts, hehe. Reality Gimme 2 seconds and I'll be all up in yo' skirt! Seriously Creak, you are freaking out my Mom.
Street Polemics by Tienshin11-29-03 ...I'm sorry? YOU HEARD ME BITCH, NOW WHERE DA FUCK IS MAH GODDAMN MONEY! Ok, this is weird...I'm going home BITCH! I WILL CUT YO MUTHAFUCKIN THROAT IF YOU DONT TURN AROUND! I heard cyphillis causes blindness Well, that is true, but I hardly see how that is relevant to our current discourse
HBO Presents: Real Sex: The Internet vol. 1 by Tienshin12-04-03 Steamy discussion already in progress! HotChick37: Mmm, that feels nice, I am pushing your head into my big round breasts. MagicHat: Thats nice. I like that, but you are pushing my glasses into my face...and it hurts. Maybe I should take them off Not without some minor snags HotChick37: Ok lover...Now where were we? Oh yes, I was just about to bend over and show you my big wet... MagicHat: Uh oh, when I put my glasses on your nightstand, I knocked over some hairspray and I think a lit candle...I am so blind ^_^; There is a lesson here...somewhere. HotChick37: We'll clean it later baby, now I want you inside of me...NOW big boy...all of you! MagicHat: OMG the curtains are on fire! I'll pee on it to put it out...OOOH NOOO! The flames burned my flaccid wiener!
HBO Presents: Real Sex: The Internet vol. 2 by Tienshin12-04-03 Sometimes the simple ability to... MagicHat: Hey baby, wanna cyber with me? BarelyLegal: Ok...but I like it rough, is that ok? ...communicate with others... MagicHat: So...punching is inbounds right? Just in case, the safety word is "house" ok? BarelyLegal: YUMMY! I am wearing nothing but a thong and high heels, and I have been SO BAD TODAY. What do you want to do with me? ...is not so simple. MagicHat: GODDAMNIT! i JUST PUNCHED MYSELF IN THE BALLS AND I AM SOOOOO HARD RIGHT NOW!!!! OH, FUCK YEAH! *BarelyLegal has signed off*
HBO Presents: Real Sex: The Internet vol. 3 by Tienshin12-04-03 Finally...the real deal SouthernBelle:...Ok, I am going to put you inside of me okay...you are so hard, baby! Magichat: Wait, one sec. I should use a condom, I dont know where you have been. Responsibility for one's health is important, after all SouthernBelle:????? Um, ok. They are in my top drawer. But hurry please, I am ready! MagicHat: Aw shit. Are these sheepskin condoms. I CAN'T FUCKING USE SHEEPSKIN CONDOMS...I AM A FUCKING VEGAN. PETA would be proud...go sheep, go SouthernBelle:...You know none of this is "real" right? MagicHat: OH GOD, IT WONT COME OFF **falls onto floor thrashing about wildly** IT'S LIKE IT IS TRYING TO EAT ME!!!!
Love yourself by Tienshin12-09-03 ...Life sucks. My girl broke up with me. I haven't gotten laid in 2 weeks! I hear you, dude. Women suck. So how is your love life? Painful You break up with your girlfreind too? Nah, I got too excited rubbing one out this morning and punched myself in the balls.
HBO Presents: Real Sex The Internet: Season 2, vol 4 by Tienshin12-28-03 Hesitation MagicHat: Okay, so you want to put it in now? Cyberbabe: I don't have all day...you wanna do this or not? Initiation MagicHat: Sorry, I just want to be sure...I have never done this before. Here I go. Cyberbabe: Oh! That feels good. See don't you like it? Oh god, that feels good!!! Prematuriation MagicHat: IT DOES...SWEET JESUS IT DOOOOOOES! OOOH MYYY. Um, I am sorry this doesnt usually happen to me. Can we start again in 15 minutes? Cyberbabe: **sigh**
Community Service by Tienshin2-09-04 So...you nervous? Nah, not really. I'll just picture everyone naked. Um. See thats the trick, make everyone seem more vulnerable then you and BAM...the butterflies just go away. Ok. I could see doing that if this weren't a senior citizen's production...at the assisted living home's theater. You kidding me? An 85 year old babe naked with a catheder bag full of piss? THAT"S FUCKING HOT!
"Historical Scars" or "Why the Truth Hurts" by Tienshin2-09-04 Don't tell me you are still mad over that petty bullshit from last night. ... Dude, get over it. Let's play some Madden. You're an asshole Come on...it wasnt that bad. Wait. Explain to me again why it is that you felt the need to tell my grandmother you would "totally fuck her" if your grandfather still owned her.
LURK MORE... by Tienshin2-23-04 Message board posting! Come see! Wheeee! Look at me, I'm a real live message being sent to the Internet! ...sharing thoughts whatever they may be... Oh wait, I better slow down the page is almost finished loading...I am just about there. ...Is great fun, Fun for you AND me! HELLO!! I AM A FRESH AND ORIGINAL QUESTION! I hate the Internet.
Life on the internets by Tienshin3-19-05 Oh Frank... Hay! I'm Frank the Spank, Internet Tough Guy! wtf who won't you scare... I own guns! omg RAWR! I run red lights wtf