All comics by TotalAmateur

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by TotalAmateur
10-08-10
Keith's new to this cooking lark isn't he ?
What makes you say that ?
Well, I asked him to make me a mushroom omelette.
And ?
He spent half an hour trying to crack the mushrooms on the side of the bowl.

 

by TotalAmateur
10-08-10
Congratualtions, I hear you got the new job.
Thanks man, I need the dough
So what will you be doing ?
I'm moving into the retail sector, I'm going to be a price checker.
I guess everyone has to start somewhere.
They tell me the 99p shop has a great pension plan.

 

by TotalAmateur
4-28-11
December 29th 2011 in the Royal Hospital maternity wing
So Prince William, how do you explain Kate giving birth just 8 months after the Royal Wedding(tm)
Uh
Well you know that wedding rehearsal we had a month before the real thing...
We thought we'd make it realistic, so we practised the wedding night too !!!

 

by TotalAmateur
6-20-11
Hey squirrel, genetics is really fascinating; scientists tell us that we humans share 50% of our DNA with a Banana...
...and 60% with a chicken
So I guess that makes you 110% Chicken-Banana, dude !!!

 

by TotalAmateur
6-17-12
The perils
I'm so down, I didn't get the gig
You went for SKyrim Guard, right, what happened ?
of jobseeking
I failed the medical
How's that, you're the fittest old dude I know
in Skyrim
I was ok until I got to the checkbox "Have you ever taken an arrow to the knee"
You had to say "NO" huh ?

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