All comics by TwoDollars

 

Using the Power Of Chuck's Mind by TwoDollars 6-25-08
Hey uh...hey man what's going on? Do you have a second to help me test something out? I guess--but hurry up I have to get back upstairs ASAP so I can pretend to do work.	rrrrRRrrrrrr Um--what are you---	Wow that worked out swimmingly...

 

College Retards by TwoDollars 6-26-08
3 day return policy I see here that you are returning textbooks that are 5 weeks past the return date... Yes yes that's right. I read them and now I'm done. Besides I bought them online for cheaper.	Remember that time you bought some books and we had all those signs and warnings about our 3 day return policy? You guys were SERIOUS about that?	The fact that you will ultimately be the future of this country worries me.... I'm going to call my mommy--you'll see!

 

Useless robots by TwoDollars 6-26-08
Wow--I mean WOW a blind date. I've never done this before...so hey what's your function? I'm a construction-bot. I'm a bulimia-bot	Um what does that mean exactly...? Excuse me for one moment, I need to go to the ladies room...	Damn it.

 

This job will totally get me some bitches by TwoDollars 6-26-08
God DAMN I love being a doctor! Sweet jesus this is one fab-u-licious job.		Ok....I maaaay have been over enthusiastic.... Gross. I'm SO not having sex with you now.

 

Best Date Ever by TwoDollars 6-26-08
Honey, I think my favorite date I ever had with you was when we went to see the Notebook and you held me while I cried..you were so gentle... Yeah, that was a nice date...	I think MY favorite date was when you gave me a BJ while we were watching the Empire Strikes Back. Damn, that was like the coolest fucking thing ever!	Uh...Baby cakes? Pookie?

 

Books for Class by TwoDollars 6-26-08
Hi...I need a...a um...BOOK. Uh huh, what's the name? Author? What class is it for?	Oh...oh my god. Do you really need that type of information?? I have no idea! Sweet god! Yes. Otherwise I can't help you....	~*Sobs*~ What the fuck is wrong with you?

 

Working at Best Buy sucks ASS by TwoDollars 6-27-08
Register Check Out I'd like to buy this. Sure thing. But before I sell this to you, I need you to listen to a spiel about magazines and warranties that I have to give to every person who comes through here. By the end of it you'll hate me.	Why? Because if I DON'T say it to you, my boss will scream at me for 'doing a shitty job' and that I'm 'not worthy of Best Buy'...Possibly causing me to cry in public.	After the transaction Hey, I just want to REMIND you to keep annoying people at the register. Otherwise you are FIRED. And if you can't work here, NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE YOU. Keep at it and have fun! This job makes me want to stab myself in the face

 

No Soliciting by TwoDollars 6-27-08
Based on a true story Hi there and welcome to Sasha's clothing boutique! What can I do for you? Funny you should ask...Have you heard of Jackson's make up line? Our make up would look great on you!	This is a store--I'm at WORK--what are you-- Right now we are having a big sale--going person to person! Our whole kit is only 29.95 and it has 3 free gifts! Let me show you what your package would entail...	Sending death stare sending DEATH STARE die die die DIE you evil bitch! Um, could you please stop staring at me? It's making me uncomfortable. Anyway back to the make up line...

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