All comics by UndertakenDilemma

 

Honey, the ceiling is inches away from caving in.
No need to get upset. It will all take care of itself.
Just call the goddamned plumber!
Don't worry, sweetie. The universe will provide!
Just once, could you stop with the Buddhist crap and let me worry about something?
Worry never helps anyone. Let's go back to bed.

 

Well, looks like the ceiling hasn't caved in yet.
I told you everything would work out.
Nothing "worked out." We just had a bit of a reprieve while you slept til noon.
You did too.
Only because I've been up early trying to get things fixed all week!
You shouldn't worry so much.

 

Blah blah blah past drug use blah blah blah.
Blah blah blah details about all my drug use blah blah blah.
Blah blah blah those were so awesome blah blah blah.
Blah blah blah those were the best of times blah blah blah.
What?

 

Jackass!
Cunt!
Fuck me, you stud!
You first, bitch!

 

What are you doing?
Meditating.
What he said...
Oh? On what?
*sigh* I'm meditating on the infinite, reaching my mind into the universe and trying to connect with its life force.
What he's probably doing...
Yeah, have fun with that.
o/^ Stayin' alive! Stayin' alive! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! o/^

 

You know that club we both belong to? I don't like them anymore so I'm leaving. You can still stay though.
Thanks for putting me in one of the most akward positions known to man.
What do you mean?
How can I explain this?
Kindergarten through Grade 12...
You can only be friends with one of us. You have to choose.
But I like you both...

 

Why is there a giant pile of modeling clay in the kitchen?
I'm going to make Da Vinci's Horse.
You know, even Da Vinci couldn't finish it.
But with modern technology, I will finally give the world a gift of art lost for five hundred years!
They did it in 1999.
I'm making you an ashtray.

 

Honey, could you repait the bathroom?
What's wrong with it?
It looks like Picasso took a dump all over the floor.
I always liked the way cubists presented objects in totality, skewing the reality of what we see into a grotesque form.
Is that why you keep missing the bowl?
I think I'll go to the hardware store now.

 

Honey, I think the car needs a new transmission.
It was meant to be.
Yeah, see, I need to drive to Cleveland next week so we need to come up with cash fast.
Don't worry, the universe will provide.
I'm going to strangle you.
Meditation is the key to enlightenment.

 

The ship is sinking. We should find a lifeboat.
Don't worry honey, the universe will provide.
Great, now we're slowly freezing to death in the ocean.
Everything will work out in the end.
I hate you.
I'm going to commune with those pointy fish.

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