All comics by VTMarik

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by VTMarik
10-09-04
Why does he have to show me?
Watch! When I hammer the nail in, red stuff will come out!
Hey! MORON! It's a nail, in your HEAD!
.......
You know what? Nail it in farther!
Hmmm, I wonder what he means by that...

 

by VTMarik
10-09-04
You know dude, when he said you were getting hammered, I thought it was a metaphor.
You mean that little alien dude?
Yeah, his name's Bongo.
Bongo... Where have I heard that name before?
5 Months Earlier
See Bongo? Head nailing can be fun!
You are one messed up guy Jimmy.

 

by VTMarik
10-09-04
Hello, I'm the narrator. And this... is Jimmy.
Hello!
The forest is his home.
He's bipolar, and a bit of an attention whore.
Yeah. That's soooo true.
He never does anything violent toward anyone else.
And, as you'll see... He enjoys getting nailed.
Why is my eye twitching?
This does happen, but it's rare. He just hit his motor cortex.

 

by VTMarik
10-09-04
This is the two token aliens. Bongo and Smitty.
Hi.
Sup?
Bongo's a bit anti-social.
Yeah? What of it?
And he's a bit too catty for his own good.
Smitty is Bongo's older brother.
Yup.
He's not that eloquent.

 

by VTMarik
10-09-04
This is Dewey. He's a dragon... 'Nuff said.
HEY!
This is Rus and Johnny. They're roomates at Unreal U.
Yo. What up?
Heya.
And the final character: Jupleberry.
He won't be in this comic.
I'm in for 13 consecutive life terms.

 

by VTMarik
10-09-04
RING! RING!
Hmmm, who could be calling?
Pick up!
*click* Hello?
Foreshadowing... Ooooeeeoooo!
Hey, Jimmy? It's Rus. You still owe me five bucks.
Damn! He still remembers

 

by VTMarik
10-09-04
Hey, Rus. What does he owe you from anyway?
It is a story of great angst and sorrow.
[Cue flashback effect] 2 months earlier.
'Give us 5 dollars or you'll never see the hammer again...' Hey Rus can I borrow five bucks?
I'm a little short, but alright. You better pay me back!
Oh, so the sorrow and angst was all you.
Isn't it always?

 

by VTMarik
10-09-04
How am I gonna make 5 bucks to give back to Rus?
I got it!
One hour later...
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! Welcome to the first ever HAMMER TELETHON!

 

by VTMarik
10-09-04
Meanwhile, back at Bongo's house...
That idiot! He still hasn't paid me back!
Rus, you gave him the money so he could get his hammer back.
He was saving his hammer?
You didn't know that?
Oh, now I feel horrible.
Ugh, do you want me to just shoot you and end your 'misery?'

 

by VTMarik
10-10-04
Hmmm, what's a good opener?
Uhhh, Jimmy?
Oh, hey Rus! You're just in time for the telethon!
Telethon?
Yeah, so's I can pay you back
Free money, or clean soul. Why do I always get the hard choices?!

 

by VTMarik
10-11-04
Hey Johnny...
Jump! C'mon you-
Hey! Johnny!
DAMN! Shoot! SHOOOOOOT!
YO! SCHMUCK!
Hm? Oh hey Rus! Didn't even notice you.

 

by VTMarik
10-14-04
You mind if I ask you a question?
Sure, what's up Bongo?
I thought you needed a wheelchair...
Oh I do, but that's only when I want to get into movies for free.
I now have more respect for you than ever before.
Thanks, now can you help me find some crutches? I'm trying to defraud Workman's Comp.

 

by VTMarik
10-15-04
I don't belong here... I've got to call her...
Hello?
Lily?
Rus? Man it's been a long time...
Can I come home?
Sure Rus. Just let me talk to Randy and Tom over here...

 

by VTMarik
10-15-04
So what's up?
Rus is coming back, so you two need to go.
Ok, well, I'll go talk to Tom.
And I'll go prepare my bedroom... Man it's been too long...
Small note, that last comment makes me shudder... Anyway, moving right along.
So Tom, we're leaving for someplace else.
Oh really? Then I'll go grab my keys.

 

by VTMarik
10-15-04
These two are Randy and Tom.
YO!
Heya.
Tom's a PI. As in Magnum P.I. - Never mind, you know what a PI is.
Freeze, Tsu!
Drat!
Randy is... really hard to describe.
Ok, I want 13 containers of Infrared Manic Panic, and two large pizzas. Oh and a case of Pepsi.
You're really taking advantage of this "One-Stop Shopping (At Home)" thing aren't you?

 

by VTMarik
10-15-04
Ready for the slammer, Tsu?
How did you know where to find me?
Asking people, "Have you seen a ninja around here?"
Again I say, DRAT!
So then what happened?
He threw one of those smoke bombs, and I shot him.

 

by VTMarik
10-16-04
So... you're disabled?
Yeah... car accident.
Hey, i'm lying about my status too.
Oh, well in that case, you wanna go play DDR?

 

by VTMarik
10-17-04
Johnny loves chain letters, he collects them.
Hey, a chain letter! Johnny can you give this to Bongo?
Haven't seen him, i'll ask Dewey.
Dewey fears chain letters, he believes them.
Hey D, can you pass this chain letter to Bongo?
Chain Letter?! Yes, I will.
Bongo hates chain letters, they make him all crazy...
Hey Bongo---
Don't you even say it.

 

by VTMarik
10-19-04
RantMedia
Hey, Dewey?
Yeah?
Home of Sean Kennedy
What website was that?
www.rantradio.com
www.ranttv.com | Mon. Night 8PM Pacific
Wog?
Just keep listening.

 

by VTMarik
12-11-04
In the frozen wasteland of Icewind Dale...
Hey Esal'drea!
Beware the gnome...
A Warning is given....
What?
Beware the monk...
And completely misunderstood...
Hey, have you seen a drow around here?
...

 

by VTMarik
12-14-04
Hello! Is there anybody in there?
Will you nod if you can hear me...
Is there anyone home?
Come on, now
I hear you're feeling down.
Well I can ease your pain,
Get you on your feet again.
Relax.
I need some information first.

 

by VTMarik
2-11-05
So, we're here...
Cameos suck.
Don't you know that cameos suck?
Damn, you've got a big skull...
He's right you know...
...

 

by VTMarik
2-22-05
In a mysterious cave on the mysterious planet Brontitol...
I find, that if I put my left arm into my right ear... I can electrocute myself.
Really?
I can do it at a moment's notice...
You don't say.
Just say the word...
Just cool it

 

by VTMarik
3-04-05
Act. I ache therefore I am.
Or maybe, I am... therefore I ache...
Oh look, i've fallen to the bottom of a deep, dark hole. What does this remind me of? Oh I remember. Life.

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