All comics by Walking0

 

by Walking0
2-06-02
Being a tentacle may seem easy...
Doodeedoooo... I'm a walking aloooong.
But sometimes even tentacles...
Mmmyep... I'm just a tentacle. And that's the way i like it.
Have a greater calling.
Tentacle... This is God. Listen well...
Oh Fuck...

 

by Walking0
2-06-02
Listen well to the holy task i have for...
Hold on a minute... How do i know you are God? What if you are just another talking fire?
Just another talking fire? How many talking fires have you seen?
I don't keep track of these things...
Ummm... can you give me an educated guess?
All the others asked the same thing, and they didn't get an answer. What makes you so freaking special?

 

by Walking0
2-06-02
Maybe you aren't right for the task after all...
Oh! So i'm not good enough now?! Is that it?!
No, but i am looking for someone who doesn't hallucinate talking fires on a regular basis...
Well! Ladeedah! Maybe you are just a figment of my imagination too then...
OOooooo... Like i haven't heard that one before...
Oh yeah... You're God.

 

by Walking0
2-06-02
OK... I'll humor you... What would you have me do, God?
Very good, my servant. You're task is to-
Hahahahaha! You thought i was serious didn't you!
Have you ever heard the phrase "You're playing with fire"?
Have you ever heard of the phrase, "Shut up or i'll pee on you"?

 

by Walking0
2-06-02
You know, some people go their whole lives waiting, for an opportunity like this!
Goddamn i'm hungry...
They would do anything to serve me, and to be selected for a holy task in their lifetime would be a blessing.
He's right... i guess i should make the best of this...
So... what do you say?
Can i roast some marshmallows over you?

 

by Walking0
2-06-02
That does it! I am done being mister nice God!
Hold on there buddy... Since when were you EVER a nice guy?
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
You aren't exactly a nice guy. You run things by your own rules, you let good people die in horrible ways, you let complete assholes run around maiming, raping, killing...
Oh yeah... that...
So can i roast marshmallows on you or what?

 

by Walking0
2-06-02
Look... all that bad stuff that happens on earth isn't my fault. It's the devil!
Yeah, yeah... So what is up with that guy anyways?
He hates all things good and pure. He rebelled against me and now brings others into damnation. He is evil and death incarnate.
So why don't you kill him?
That brings me to your task...
Fuck...

 

by Walking0
2-06-02
You see, the devil has really started getting on my nerves lately.
Hm...
I had this whole armageddon thing planned. You know, an ultimate showdown between good and evil.
Mm Hm...
But Hollywood has already done that to death... I don't see much point in waiting.
Keep it under two hours, give the public some tit and a good trailer and i don't think that will be a problem.

 

by Walking0
2-06-02
Maybe i should wait on this whole quest thing...
Definitely...
I am behind on my smiting...
O yes... Just the other day i looked around and i said "There are way too many homosexuals and minorities running around".
Really? Where were you?
Ummm... Vatican City.

 

by Walking0
2-06-02
Ok... We've got a location for a smiting... now we need a method... Something really gruesome...
Hmmm... you've got disease well covered... natural disasters are old news...
What gets attention these days?
Ummm... Celebrity death, celebrity affairs, celebrity comebacks...
I could always bring Barbra Streisand out of retirement.
Hey... don't go nuts...

 

by Walking0
2-06-02
OK... If i'm smiting gays and minorities, i need something apropos.
You could always resurrect Hitler.
I can't. His brain is still alive. The freemasons have it sealed in one of Rosie O Donnel's chins.
That would explain the bad moustache... What about Stalin?
No stalling. I told you... I'm sick of waiting.
I think we're done here.

 

by Walking0
2-06-02
Well if you aren't going to help me, i'll have to go with the emergency backup plague. In a sense, this wrath will be your doing.
What's it going to be? Plagues? Locusts? Floods? Death of the firstborn son?
No! I'm granting immortality to Dr. Laura.
I apologize to the world in advance.

 

by Walking0
2-06-02
I dunno... Meeting God really put a damper on my day. The whole experience, was something i'd like to forget.
*Hic* Ya don't say?
A pillar of flame, Dr. Laura, marshmallows... It's all so disconcerting. One would like to believe there is more normalcy in this world, that the thing in charge isn't more random than chaos itself.
I suppose. *Hic*
It's just nice to be back home where things are a little more predictable.
*Hic* I know the feeling.

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