All comics by Zilchoid

Profile

 

by Zilchoid
8-21-04
Why hello! So nice of you to drop by!
I've been inspired by the masses to let my creative juices flow!
Wait a sec...Nevermind, it was just another wet dream.

 

by Zilchoid
8-21-04
The author speaks...again!
I figured I'd start out with a minimalist approach.
I was talking about the comic strip, ass-monkey.

 

by Zilchoid
8-22-04
One Saturday night in Belle Chasse...
Hey Matt! What brings you by?
(giggle) I was just in the neighborhood. (giggle) Wanna play Defender of the Crown? (giggle)
Four hours later...
Dude, you're doing it wrong! The Footmen have to attack the Catapult after you throw the Greek Fire! Don't you know anything about medieval combat video games?
(giggle) No, check it out...I'm doing an Ignite attack while the Peasants swept over King John's Archers. (giggle)
Damn we're nerds!
(giggle) I'm never leaving Niko's couch! (giggle)

 

by Zilchoid
8-23-04
One late Monday night...
Look everyone, it's my roommate Kelli!
Oh my god! Guess what happened today at work. You won't believe this!
Umm ... old lady crapped her pants when she saw shoes she liked?
No, that was yesterday! Today the NOPD got a lead on a drug cartel based on evidence found in a fake Gucci purse! Wait, I'll tell you more, but first I gotta pee.
She knows too much...must exterminate.
Niko, why are there Costa Rican children making women's accessories in our dining room?

 

by Zilchoid
8-24-04
A usual day at my house...
Jeff! What's happening?
I just got back from a Fencebuilders of America meeting. We're breaking new ground with chain link this year.
Great! Did you bring me any presents?
Well, I got Paris Hilton videos on homemade laserdisc, vibrating things that plug into the wall, and an ice chest made from a pizza carrier.
You're the MacGuyver of the Westbank, dude.
Just wait until you see what I've got coming from Tijuana thisTuesday!

 

by Zilchoid
8-30-04
Post Clubhouse FFL Analysis
So, what was your impression of the Fantasy Football Draft?
I did okay, I just wonder how tough my division will be.
Tough? What are you talking about? You're playing Jason's Question Marks, Matt's Bronco Running Backs, and you get to start the season against Jeff's Draft-Day Abortion.
Good point. I think your Melvyn Division is the toughest in the league.
(laughter) I know, winning in that division is going to be almost as tough as it is for me to remain upright and sober on a Saturday night! (laughter)
(laughter) It's funny because it's true! (laughter)

 

by Zilchoid
8-30-04
Average weekday 'round my house...
Homer: Why you little! Bart: Aye Caramba!
Those crazy Simpsons! Why can't I live in Springfield?
Half an hour later...
Julie: With a vote of 6-1, Jace, you have been evicted from the Big Brother house.
Jace! You played the game all wrong! Why can't I live in the Big Brother house?
An hour later...
Jerry: But are you "Master of Your Domain"? George: I am "King of the Castle."
How do they come up with these great catch phrases?!? Why can't I live in Apartment 5C?

 

by Zilchoid
9-07-04
A recent Saturday at Jeff's house...
I love it when Jeff's parties!
You got that right. They're great because you never know what'll happen next. It's kinda like going to the circus, but without the music.
Ever notice how you gotta watch Jeff during his parties?
Yep. Once left to his own devices, he acts like a big kid.
Speaking of acting like a big kid, he just threw soap in the SpaceWalk ... and the exit's on concrete.
What? Yeeaaah!...time to sit back and watch it all go to shit! (Dun-dun-dunna-na-na dun dah dah...continue circus music)

 

by Zilchoid
9-07-04
A Saturday at Jeff's (cont.)...
So how are you liking this Labor Day celebration?
Not bad, I've eaten about six hotdogs and had about six beers. I'm all about balance today.
See Niko, I told you I'm the BBQ master! You think you're good, but I'm the best!
In fact, I've been grilling for three hours straight. I've grilled hotdogs, hamburgers, sausage, everything!...
Should I tell him that the everything includes his house thats on fire behind him?... Naah! He should finish his rant, its his moment.

 

by Zilchoid
9-13-04
Just watching the tube...
Hurricane Ivan plowed into Cuba tonight, urging President Castro to declare a state of emergency.
Great, just what we need. This is terrible.
The Category Five storm appears to be heading towards the Louisiana Gulf Coast.
Damn, we're screwed. There won't be anything left.
In a related note, Plaquemines Parish Schools will be cancelled until further notice.
SCORE!!! I gots me some hurri-cation! Who wants a beer?

 

by Zilchoid
9-18-04
One day at Niko's...
'Ey bra, heard from Porkchop lately?
Yeah, him and his chick went to Ohio to escape the hurricane
OHIO!?! How the fuck is chop going to find his way to Ohio?
Dude, they're living the American Dream. Remember, she's Latino.
Meanwhile...
El Ohio es muy bonita!
Si! Look, Hollywood!

 

by Zilchoid
9-18-04
Josh, I'm kinda worried about the title on our last comic.
With all of the recent political uncertainty, we probably should refer to minorities in their appropriate monikers, not crude amorphisms.
(Knock Knock)
Oh that must be the girl next door. She's been selling cookies.
Cool. I had the munchies anyway. I'll get it.
Good afternoon, sir. Would you like to buy some of my cookies?
How 'bout you take those cookies back to the bush, Charlie!

 

by Zilchoid
6-17-05
(birds chirping in the background)
Ahh, summertime. No screaming kids, no waking up at the buttcrack of dawn. This is the life. Oh look, here comes Josh!
What's up brother? Are you busy right now?
Nope, just getting started on the day's drinking.
Cool, I hear ya. That's good.
You know I'm off for summer and you want me to come help remodel your house, huh?
You got that right, Extreme Makeover-boy!

Showing page 1.