All comics by burkencsu

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by burkencsu
1-04-03
An ordinary day
So, Mr. Parasaurolophus, I I shall kill you with my hammer.
I think not, Mr. Stick man.
How could you possibly elude death this time?
I just stuck your hammer up my nose, bitch!
Just wait till I get my leatherman
I'd like to see you try, you fucking whore!

 

by burkencsu
1-04-03
It was just another ordinary day for our hero, Dirk Diggler.
A burning bush!
JESUS CHRIST!
Dirk Diggler. I entrust thee with a sacred quest to find...
The Holy Grail, my Lord?
No. The female orgasm.

 

by burkencsu
1-04-03
Back in his secret Pimp Lair (TM), Dirk Diggler packs...
Let's see: jackrabbit, sybian, semenex, scandalously revealing thong...
Enter Dirk's female companion, Lara Croft (fuck you, make up your own damn names).
Have you heard of the oppressed women of Afghanistan, many of whom have been repressed by men throughout the years?
Why the fuck do rich white suburban chicks give a fuck about 3rd world countries?
Wait! I'll bet the Taliban have been hiding the female orgasm from the women during their rule! I can find the female orgasm there!
Well, you certainly haven't found the female orgasm here, that's for sure.

 

by burkencsu
1-04-03
Dirk Diggler makes his way to Afghanistan.
Hand over the female orgasm!
The great nation of Afghanistan does not harbor terrorists. I mean, orgasms. We do not harbor orgasms!
I think you're lying. Tomahawk strike!
Damn. While immensely satisfying, I still did not find the female orgasm. I think I'll ask the lesbians.

 

by burkencsu
1-04-03
Dirk Diggler comes back to the US to ask a lesbian about the female orgasm.
I need you to tell me where I can find the female orgasm.
Seek ye true love. Only then will you discover the female orgasm.
All I have to do is find true love? Well that makes it MUCH easier. How can I ever repay you?
You can start by giving me one of those sex toys you packed.
Oh. So you want the jackrabbit?
That's a kid's toy. I want the sybian.

 

by burkencsu
1-04-03
Dirk Diggler, on his road to true love, stumbles through comic relief land.
*sigh* Off to find true love
Jesus, what could be worse than the comics of sullen, depressed 23 year old college kids?
...The hills are alive...
How about musical comics written by sullen, depressed 23 year old flight students?
...with the sound of music...
I know God didn't intervene in the Holocaust, but maybe he will now because this is 10 times worse.

 

by burkencsu
1-04-03
Dirk Digler comes home to Lara Croft in search of true love.
I've been a fool all along! True love is all I want from you!
I've got a better idea. You've got money and security, I've got a hot willing body. Let's make a trade.
That doesn't sound like true love!
Yeah, but it's what passes for love these days. Don't complain, you're still getting some nookie.
Well, I'm not one to pass up sex!
Do you still have that sybian? I'm tired of all that tame jackrabbit shit.

 

by burkencsu
1-04-03
Dirk Diggler, while happy that he got laid, is still dissatisfied in not having found true love. So he changes clothes...
What the hell are you doing, Dirk?
Well Lara, we have to love each other for who we are, without sex getting in the way.
This is the only way to ensure that we communicate on an emotional and intellectual, rather than physical level.
Just a second. Let me change clothes.
Still want to communicate on a non-physical level?
Lara, you minx...

 

by burkencsu
1-04-03
Wow. Dirk Diggler's quite a guy.
He's got everything. He's smart, attractive, witty, wealthy, sophisticated, interesting, creative and we go so well together.
Dirk, I think we should see other people.
It's because I gave away the sybian, isn't it?

 

by burkencsu
1-04-03
What? Oh come on now, we're two of a kind! We can find true love (and the female orgasm) together!
See, that's just it. I'm not interested in a soul-mate. I'm interested in a relationship. There's a huge difference.
I don't get it.
See, everything I see in me, I also see in you. However, I want to see in my future mate the things I lack in myself.
But with a girl as incredible as you, that would mean you'd have to go out with a guy that's a total loser.
Dirk, you've just solved the enigma known as "women".

 

by burkencsu
1-04-03
Dirk Diggler also decides to fuck, erm, I mean see other people.
I had a really great time tonight, how bout you?
I do appreciate that you paid and opened the doors for me, the traditional favors afforded an old-fashioned woman...
Yet, at the same time, I do like that you respect me as a woman of the 21st century. Strange, huh?
It's not strange, it's a double standard! You can't have it both ways!
But still, you did treat me to a good date at your expense...let's shag!
I should have just hired a hooker. Oh well, can't argue with hot sex!

 

by burkencsu
1-05-03
Meanwhile, Lara Croft gets freaky with another man in her search for a relationship.
You seem nice and drunk and shaggy and old. I'm ready for some commitment.
Sex on demand! Yeesss!
We're the yin and yang to each other. Everything I lack, I find in you. Our relationship is all-encompassing.
Damn, check out that ass!
Sure, Dirk and I were two of a kind, but that was our problem. Can you really expect to find true love in your soul-mate?
Are we gonna bone or what?

 

by burkencsu
1-05-03
After a night of sex...
God this bitch is annoying. My dick says yes, but everything else says no.
It's not so much that I feel a need to be with YOU, it's that I feel a constant need to be in a relaitonship with ANY GUY.
I think we're going to have to go our seperate ways.
No orgasms, right?
Come to think of it, no there weren't...
I knew I shouldn't have given away that sybian!

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