All comics by craig

 

by craig
1-07-01
The clown always questioned the robot's faith.
Where's your God now, you whore?
He's right behind me.
See.
Hi, I'm Jesus.
Oh. I should go then.
See ya.

 

by craig
1-08-01
And then God gave unto Moses the ten commandments.
You know, your a robot. Therefore, you have no soul to be saved by any god.
It's true.
What? I have no soul?!?!?
Oh well, I'm going to sodomize and kill you then.
Awwwwwwww, fuck.

 

by craig
1-08-01
Hello
This isn't a comic
I just wanted to say, if she weren't a cartoon, I'd do her.

 

by craig
1-11-01
Whoa
Dude
Am I drunk or are there alot of queer-ass looking animals around here.
Your right on both counts!

 

by craig
1-13-01
Hi, we're two annoyingly cute kids!
We're so cute, you want to use telekensis to set us on fire, don't you?
AAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Uhoh, it appars you've mastered your power!
AAAAAAAA!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAA!!!!

 

by craig
1-13-01
Oh No! I've been abducted by aliens!
Now they're going to want to prob and do other unspeakable acts to me!
Oh well, guess I'll just have to make the best of it.
Actually, we're just going to kill you.

 

by craig
1-13-01
Hey, dude. A letter came for you today.
Really?
Yep.
I wonder who its from.
What a minute? I can't read.

 

by craig
1-14-01
In China...
Chairman Mao has order the missle strike on the United States! Fire at the American!
3 Minutes Later In The United States...
Oh my god! What the fuck happened to the US! I'm the only one left alive ... some how.
And for some reason, there seem to be killer robots running around the post-apocalyptic ruins out to get me.
Dead Human

 

by craig
1-15-01
Hello Girls. I'm interested in a long term relationship with a smart beautiful woman.
I like long walks on the beach, dinners by candle light and holding hands,
Oh, and I also like stabbing.

 

by craig
1-15-01
So what's that secret Tara told you that you wouldn't tell?
Ok, come here I need to whisper it to you.
*whisper*whisper*whisper*
HOLY CRAP!
I know.

 

by craig
1-15-01
This was your fucking plan! Blow up the plane!
It seemed much less complicated in the simulation.
SIMULATION?
On the etch-a-sketch. Now are we just going to stand here or jump?
SPLAT!
Did you factor parachutes into the etch-a-sketch sim too?
Damn, I didn't think about that.

 

by craig
1-16-01
THE ROBOT SHOW premiere
Hey and welcome to The Robot Show. Say Hi to my sidekick Killbot.
I-AM-KILLBOT.
Tonight, our guest is comedian Chevy Chase!
KILLBOT-NOT-LIKE-COM-E-DE-AN
Wait a minute, you weren't all red when we hired you Killbot!
KILLBOT BATH-IN-THE-BLOOD-OF-COM-E-DE-AN

 

by craig
1-16-01
Dispite the look on my face, I'm sorry to have to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
God, NO!!! How much longer do I have?!?!
Well, I believe there is someone here who can answer that better then I can.
Oh, fudge.
Are you ready to go or what?

 

by craig
1-18-01
School's out.
Forever.

 

by craig
2-01-01
Sorry, Cthulhu. I have to go home now.
Awwww. Ok
We'll play some more games later.
Alright, see you later.
Honey, what have I told you about playing with ancient evil.
But daddy, he's my friend!

 

by craig
2-01-01
Five seconds to New Years
5...4...3...2...1...HAPPY NEW YEAR
5...4...3...2...1...HAPPY NEW YEAR
Yeah! It's the future! Can you believe it?
We're actually living in the future now. Amazing!
Suddenly, some guy appears
Hey, I'm sorry, kids, but I can't let you in here. The future is x-rated.
Huh?

 

by craig
4-03-01
So he came in and told me I had 3 hours left to finish it.
So what did you do?
Well I said, "Fuck you, and the horse you rode in on."
Well kick me in the throat, you've got quite the set of balls.
How was I supposed to know its just an expression?!?! YOU MADE IT UP!
*ACK* I can't breathe!!!!

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