All comics by crollo3

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by crollo3
9-19-04
Perhaps you thought you thought those numbers actually had some reason behind them?
Well team it is time for our annual goal setting meeting. This year we have hired an outside company to help us determine our full potential.
I set the goals by gazing into my magic banana.
Isn't amazing how much money management will spend on programs and systems that don't work and then blame the employees when they fail?
Today Mr. Sim from ScanMarket is here to introduce the new system we use to allocate goals to each team member.
I love this management team. They buy into anything I tell them as long as it ends in "you will make lots of money".
The employee that makes enormus amounts of money for the company will get a tour of headquarters and lunch with the CEO. Who could ask for anything more?
Ok, let's get started with this advance system of making money for the company and getting some personal satisfaction for yourselves.
OK!, everyone form a circle for the duck,duck,goose selection process. Remember the winner gets the high goal. This is going to be fun.

 

by crollo3
9-19-04
Sooo, it's taking over the world is it?
Yes, this is a hostile takeover. When we are done we are going to spin off and sell your continents to other alien nations. It should be very profitable.
Look, you don't want this planet. Hostile inhabitants, pollution, natual diasters. No one will buy this place! I can make you look good with your boss. Did I mention wealthy?
Keep talking circus boy. You got my interest.
I can do a cost analysis that shows how much it would cost to pull off the takeover. Of course we will be needing a consultant to help us avoid this situation in the future. With lots of perks!
I could move my family here. No more of these long roads trips stuffed into a small capsule. Let's get a beer and work it out.

 

by crollo3
9-20-04
Chas, you ain't looking so good. Something bothering you?
I feel like my whole genetic code has been changed. I have be to so many company training classes I really feel burned out.
Maybe you should take some time off?
I should, but I need more phone lists... I mean I don't have time to do coaching session.... I mean... the correct behaviors have to be performed.....
Chas....CHAS!! Your spueing the company's training manual.
Danger Wil Robinson. You have not enhanced the customer experience, mutliple business relationships mean you own the customer..........help me!

 

by crollo3
9-21-04
If you are at the bottom of the food chain you are at the mercy of the predators.
Your new mission is to learn 11 new tricks and perform them flawlessy in less than 24 hrs.
Yesterday you told me that I only had to fetch small red balls.
Poochy Noodles is begining to see the fulitity of his situation.
Yes, and tomorrow will be different again.
I can't learn 11 new tricks in 24 hours. It takes me longer than that to find my food bowl.
Poochy Noodles reconfigures the food chain.
If you cannot learn the tricks then you could be garbage can checker. I know a crew that would be happen to get someone with your experience.
I am going to have to eat you.

 

by crollo3
9-23-04
So I was thinking. Every time one of our guys get's executed we should execute one of theirs!
You know that is very barbaric.
It may get their attention, no women or children of course
We just couldn't do that. We are a civilized nation.
How about carpet bombing?
Now your talking. We could even throw in some tatical nuclear weapons. Now that's civilized!

 

by crollo3
9-25-04
The showdown between Poochy Noodles and Cat Boss.
Today is boss buffet. Suschi style. Prepare to be eaten, fascist cat pig!
I will have to use my training in handling disgruntled menial workers.
Fascist Cat Pig puts all his company training to use to calm Poochy Noodles
I know how you feel. I have felt like eating my boss at times, but it would take too long. ha ha. There must be another solution. Let't try to work something out.
And so Fascist Cat Pig learned another lesson about corporate lies.

 

by crollo3
9-26-04
Poochy Noodles seems to be caught with the goods (That's a cat thigh bone in his mouth.)
Did you happen to see a cat? He vomits out a lot of stuff about being a good employee and being a team player. Sort of the fascists type.
I wonder if he knows anything about cat anatomy?
Poochy is on a role why stop with one fascist. Eat them all.
I'm his assistant fascist and he didn't show up to the throat cutting meeting for this Poochy Noodles charactor.
Surrrre! I now where he's at. I can show you where.
It's no longer an act of revenge. It is a movement. Or will be, soon.
Now that they are together they can be happy forever. What higher calling than to give your life for the company.

 

by crollo3
9-28-04
It doesn't matter what you do if they don't like you.
Well, it appears you have escaped being let go from the company. Human resources said we have screwed up. So we are going to put you on a Action Plan to make you do the things we want you to do.
So, this is the master race.
Just when you thought you had escaped the grim reaper of work.....
So, begining tomorrow you will put in twelve hour days. Divorce your wife and put your children up for adoption. Just so we can have open communication we will have three conference calls a day.
Should I fall on my sword now your highness?
If nothing else works try sci-fi
So let's get right to work. We need to jump start this office.
Klaatu barada necto.

 

by crollo3
10-16-04
What evil has penetrated the mind of Poochy Noodles. What next will he have independent thought?
Hey Poochy! Missed you at the human fights last night. What were you doing? Watching the tube.
I bought a guitar and was playing music.
Poochy is showing signs of abnormality. He mind has been poisened. Poochy is, dare we say it, not programed.
What were you doing yesterday? We were watching pile ups on the express way.
I was reading a novel.
This is the way it starts. Reading a book, playing an instrument then it get's worse. Composing music or writing books. Can Poochy be saved before he becomes.......INTELLIGENT!
What is with all this weird behavior? Are you off drugs or something? You need to get back in front of the TV and get back on track!
I guess I've just lost interest in life and this is my escape.

 

by crollo3
10-27-04
The tell tale signs are there, can Chas see through the fog?
I feel alienated and disconnected from life. Nothing motivates me.
I could see that when you stood in the middle of Auburn Road for an hour.
We are Devo!
I didn't know where to go, under the bus or the VW.
This is a clear case of burnout. No social experience. The worker bee syndrome.
Could it be that we have found the Holy Grail?
WHAT IS THE ANSWER?
There is only one anwser. Bella's Coffee House. We must get there before you turn into a drone.

 

by crollo3
7-15-09
Big Money CEO rallies the troups.
Welcome to the annual brain wash......ah sales rally.
Please throw me a bone.
Please repeat after me. "I will work like a dog and give you all my money. I will take blame for everything that goes wrong."
That's not a bone it's a handgrenade.
Watch your strings!!!!!
I am untouchable everything I do and say is correct and cannot be traced directly back to me, har , har har.
Help meeeeeee.

 

by crollo3
12-29-17
What did you get for Christmas?
You know, the usual dog bone.
When I told them to throw me a bone I didn't mean it literally.
What did you want?
A heated outhouse. Now I have to borrow a jackhammer to bury this thing.

 

by crollo3
4-06-18
The quest for the convenient dot-o-gram.
I connected the dots as you requested.
I have reviewed your dot-o-gram and you have created a picture of a banana.
Poochy see's what he wants to see
Well I was in a hurry to get the picture so I skipped some of the dots, besides I wanted a banana.
So you eliminated the dots that didn't fit into the picture you wanted to see?
Maybe it would be better if the grass hopper left anyway.
Well the banana is what I wanted so the rest of the picture didn't matter.
Maybe I should have given you the enchalad dot-o-gram. That way you would have gotten the whole picture.

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