All comics by doolz

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by doolz
5-13-03
It started innocently enough...
Yo! Gimme dat!
We come in peace!
Hey! This isn't bourbon!
Ha ha ha, you fell for it.
WTF?
Now to implement PHASE TWO!

 

by doolz
5-13-03
The Imp reports to his Demon Lord.
Klaatu... Barada... Niktu!
You rang?
I have completed my task.
Silence, worm! I banish thee!
Meanwhile...
I can't feel my legs!
Hangovers are bad.

 

by doolz
5-13-03
Argh! What's happening to me?
< skuttle skuttle >
Why did I drink that? Why?
Two to beam up.
Space Cop... never around when he's needed.
And who, may I ask, are you?
I'm your worst nightmare, punk.

 

by doolz
5-13-03
The survivors pick up the pieces of their lives, somehow...
Hey baby. I dig you.
Wow! He's smooth!
SCORE!
What's your sign? Mine's Capricorn.
Mine's Pisces. I guess it's our duty to repopulate this barren, devastated planet.
Meanwhile... the Imp takes a moment's respite from the daily grind.
Working for an insane demon lord is somewhat overrated.
Shut up. And get back to work, you slacker!

 

by doolz
5-13-03
Meanwhile, very bad things...
What's happening?
Hello, I am Space Pirate, evil enemy of Space Cop. You are now my slave, dumbass.
My life sucks!
Come this way.
What's with this joint?
Silence! Now get to work!

 

by doolz
5-13-03
Must... think... happy thoughts~!
Happy happy happy happy...
Wipe that stupid grin off your face, you insufferable boob!
happy happy happy happy happy...
Forget it, you're hopeless.
DIE! DIE! DIE!
I'm surrounded by idiots...

 

by doolz
5-13-03
And so, the survivors plodded on with their meaningless lives.
So what are you doing Thursday?
I was thinking of going for sushi.
Unbeknownst to them, the craters of destruction spewed forth rabid mutant beasts, which ravaged the land.
Raar!
Bawwk!
Really? I love sushi!
He loves sushi!

 

by doolz
5-13-03
And so, the survivors plodded on with their meaningless lives.
So what are you doing Thursday?
I was thinking of going for sushi.
Unbeknownst to them, the craters of destruction spewed forth rabid mutant beasts, which ravaged the land.
Raar!
Bawwk!
Really? I love sushi!
He loves sushi!

 

by doolz
5-13-03
The Imp managed to kill his supervisor, but then was eaten while making his escape.
Oh shit!
< chomp chomp >
All of the survivors were eaten by monsters. It was not a pretty sight.
Raar!
Damn. I can't do anything with my hair!
And in the cosmic rift, two asian girls stared eerily at the comic reader.
We know what you're thinking.
You've been very naughty.

 

by doolz
5-13-03
Ancient evil gods were not known for their prowess at scoring with babes.
Hey baby. Check out my cool pad!
How do I ditch this loser?
Quail before the awesome might of my sound system!
Are you like... for real?
Now to get in a quick grope!
Later, loser smurf.

 

by doolz
5-13-03
Do the Mashed Potato!
Do the Mashed Potato!
I can do The Twist!
I can do The Twist!
...And you thought you had bad luck on your dates.
Tell me baby~! Do you like it like this?
System malfunction. Ciruit overload. Annihilate! Annihilate!

 

by doolz
5-14-03
Tak is hired as a dooleyco consultant.
I'll accept your resignation as waitress, but I'm keeping you on as a dooleyco consultant.
Do I have any choice in the matter?
No. None whatsoever.
So what do I do?
I don't know. why don't we play darts or something?
Ok.

 

by doolz
5-14-03
dooley throws a dart.
POIT~!
Poit?
It's an indestructible dartboard. dooleyco technology.
It all makes sense now.

 

by doolz
5-14-03
The dooley zone.
So Rahea, what thinkest thou of the dooley zone?
What is it?
It's a region of dooleyspace which is spanned by a set of dooleyvectors.
...
I have to do something about the sitar music though.
Math is evil.

 

by doolz
5-14-03
Back in the dooley zone.
Hey! About the sitar music...
Mmmhmmm?
Could you please make it stop?
Why should I?
Because I only ask nicely once.

 

by doolz
5-15-03
All right, I'll give you $200 to make the sitar music stop.
Deal!
And thus was the sitar music ended...
Right, now where were we?
I have no idea.
Damn! I kind of miss the sitar music.
Nice place you have here, dooley.

 

by doolz
5-15-03
Yet another dooley dimension.
So Vex, what do you think of the plateau.
Well uh... it's very scenic.
Yes, and quite peaceful.
So what do you do here?
Basically nothing. Want some coffee?
It could use a more feminine touch, specifically it could use some dirty whores.

 

by doolz
5-15-03
At Kyle's "THE ARK 5 SPACE STASHUN AND WATERING HOLE!"
I killed 'guy with a sword' and 'girl with a sword' and now all of your Watering Hole is belong to me! I am using the Holy Water fountain to power my Space Lazr! And you are all dead so nyah!
Crack is bad for you.
Reality therapy.
Fear my powarz! I am teh supaar kyle!
Tak and I aren't dead, you know. You're just delusional.
Extreme reality therapy.
Blah blah blah...
Still, you're ripping off my idea, so I'll have to kick your ass, even though you won't learn your lesson.

 

by doolz
5-15-03
Sure is peaceful.
Except for the damned crickets.
< chirp chirp chirpity chirp! >

 

by doolz
5-15-03
Technical difficulties...
What's this? That cricket was supposed to chirp! What gives?
Meep?
Damn you for spoiling my stupid joke. Now be off with you, you're a disgrace to cricket-kind!
< skuttle skuttle >
Yo! Did somebody order some dirty whores?
VEXXXXXXXXX! Rgh!

 

by doolz
5-15-03
All is not well in dooleyville...
Ok, get these dirty whores the Hell offa my plateau. This is a place for peaceful contemplation.
Peaceful contemplation? That's going to cost ya!
Oh honey, don't be shy!
Is it your first time? Just relax.
Wishful thinking... eh Vex?
Wait Ann! I can explain... dooley put me up to it! Yep! Blame him, he wrote the comic!
There'd better be a damned good explanation for this!

 

by doolz
5-15-03
dooley explains...
What were you thinking?
Well, I thought we needed a cute chick to counterbalance the skanky ho's.
It was Ace's idea!
Was not!
Always have a fall guy.
< nods >

 

by doolz
5-15-03
... I'd hammer in the mornin'!
Hmm....
I'd hammer in the evenin',
All over this Land!
That would totally rule!

 

by doolz
5-15-03
Hangin' out with Satan 'cause he's such a cool dude!
Damn! I sure am cool!
Hangin' out with Satan 'cause he gives us free food!
Hangin' out with Satan 'cause he's really Phat!
Hangin' out with Satan in his laundromat!
Hangin' hangin' hangin' hangin' hangin' hangin' hangin' out with Satan!

 

by doolz
5-15-03
OW! Uh! Na, na-na-na-na Na-na-na Na-na-na Na-na-na Na-na-na-na!
???
I need somebody help me say it one time!
???
OW! Uh! Na, na-na-na-na Na-na-na Na-na-na Na-na-na Na-na-na-na!
OW! Uh! Na, na-na-na-na Na-na-na Na-na-na Na-na-na Na-na-na-na!

 

by doolz
5-15-03
So what do we do here at the plateau, dooley?
Well Gen...
...
You're lookin' at it.

 

by doolz
5-15-03
Tak visits the plateau.
So this is the plateau, huh?
Yes. Yes it is.
Want to go bowling?
'Kay.

 

by doolz
5-16-03
Yep. Peaceful contemplation.
Hey, sugar. Want to go on a date?
Somebody kill me now.

 

by doolz
5-22-03
An exciting day on the plateau.
chirp!
chirp!
chirpitty chirp chirp!

 

by doolz
5-22-03
Demon Hunter Bob, he hunts demons...
Hello. My name is Demon Hunter Bob.
And what is it you do, Bob?
I hunt demons.
Really? Does that pay well?
...and stuff!
No. No it doesn't.

 

by doolz
5-22-03
Hello, my name is Demon Hunter Bob.
Really?
Yep.
Demon Hunters get all the babes.
Let's go have some hot steamy sex!

 

by doolz
5-22-03
Back on the job...
Time to hunt some demons, yo!
Bob had never encountered such a stupid demon before.
Mwahahaha! I am teh Kyle!

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