Augh, I've been staring at the screen too long, my eyes won't focus on the monitor anymore. I need to find something to do other than stare at the computer.
*bling* You have new mail! *bling* You have new mail!
My mom e-mails me a few times a day, every day.
If I don't reply to each and every one in minute detail, she calls me to yell at me about not answering the flood of spam.
Gin! You've only replied twice today! You're not talking to me, are you? Are you there? Are you dead? You better not be talking to other people online.
*sighs* Thanks to the marvels of technology, mom can nag me long-distance.
I've seen Oprah! Every person online wants to kidnap and kill you, you know! There better not be anyone else on your buddy list but me! My innocent daughter better not be looking at porn sites!
I've written in an online diary for two years. I've written over 2000 entries, which equates to over 1.5mb of text.
You can imagine that I feel rather burnt out these days. It's not easy to find stuff to write about when you're not employed and stay inside all the time.
Sometimes I skip a day. I then get complaints from readers that I ought to write more often.
Funny, sorta.
I find it ironic that I average three entries a day and people yell at me for not writing enough.
I shake her hand with my hidden buzzer, squirt her in the face when she tries to sniff my flower, and I pick her up in my clown car with about 40 of my friends.
Most girls know me because of the book written about my dad..
They like the cuffs.
I appear out of nowhere and scream in their face to loosen them up. Then I ask them if they want to look under my sheet.
Um, I ask them to eat my banana in a suggestive manner? No, wait, that's to impress /me/...
Here, download this screensaver and install it. It's funny. It has fireworks and wishes you a happy new year.
You do know that's a virus, don't you?
Oh, well, let me send you this other funny program, it's called Back Office or something like that...
Let me think abo--oh no, my connection's getting all staticy. Yes, my dial-up is failing me. Oh darn, I seem to have been disconnected. *closes connection*
*logged off*
I wonder what it is that makes people think I'm an idiot..