All comics by hansthecat

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by hansthecat
8-12-01
watch this.
?
get out of my house..

 

by hansthecat
8-12-01
have you seen indy pete? he owes me twenty bucks.
i saw him at the burger palace. he bought eighteen dollars worth of french fries. and a small soda.
and now i bet he can't pay me back! goddammit he makes me mad!!
hey maura, i got that twenty bucks i owe you!
PISS OFF!!!!

 

by hansthecat
8-12-01
phone's ringing, dude.
i hope it's for me.
wrong number.

 

by hansthecat
8-12-01
*sigh* i wish i could make a comic strip.
yeah, that would be fun. i could make it like doonesbuggy, and make fun of that idiot in the whitehouse!!
mr. president? it's time for your nap.
oh, wait...

 

by hansthecat
8-12-01
COME OUT OF THERE, ALL YOU PUNY HU-MANS!!
i wish we could hurry up and get this thing over with. i haven't eaten anything all day.
IT IS TIME FOR THE HU-MAN DESTRUCT-A-THON!!!!
i could really go for a corndog. or maybe a falafel wrap. goddamn i'm hungry!
I DON'T THINK THEY'RE IN THERE.
maybe they went for sandwiches.

 

by hansthecat
8-13-01
are you my mommy?
are you my mommy?
answer the *#@?^% question!
gimme a peanut.

 

by hansthecat
8-13-01
*sigh*
MSN ERROR 174326-997: General System Fault
forget this.
i'm sorry. please come back.

 

by hansthecat
8-13-01
look! i have opposable, um, somethings!
OH YEAH? LET'S SEE YOU TRY TO PICK SOMETHING UP WITH THEM!
WELL?!
i can't move my arms.
YEAH, ME NEITHER.

 

by hansthecat
8-13-01
yipe!
wow, i could have done without hearing that news.
this is the only way.
no, wait! there's a better way!
ready, 1... 2... 3...
aaaahhh.

 

by hansthecat
8-15-01
hey reid, check it out - there was a riot at target. i grabbed a bunch of twinkies and split.
oh my god!
will you help me stash them? i think the fuzz is on my tail.
oh, hi officer! who, that guy? nope, don't know him. never saw him before in my life. i think his name is doug.
c'mon, man, i'll give you half.
woo-hoo!

 

by hansthecat
8-15-01
ohh, what are you looking for, doug?
reid's twinkies.
that's sick! i didn't know you were into that. unh!
no no, i had a whole pile of them from the target riot, but i had to give him half so he wouldn't rat on me.
hey, you found them! can i have one? ohh, steve-vai-yes-echelon!
you're weird, hos. see you later.

 

by hansthecat
8-15-01
doug, man, nice mullet. can i have a twinkie?
NO GODDAMMIT!! NOBODY CAN HAVE A *^#%@$& TWINKIE!
mmmmyou will give me a twinkie or be destroyed
whoa, christian, you're really freaking me out!
um...

 

by hansthecat
8-15-01
hiya, christian! why so blue?
use the force, christian.
uh, christian?
feel the twinkies flowing through you.
jee-SUS!

 

by hansthecat
8-15-01
Ever think about robots? Why do the scientists make them?
They break into your house at night while you're sleeping, and steal your medicine for fuel.
PUNY HU-MAN!! GIVE ME TWINKIES!!
no way, dude. but i got some aspirin that you're welcome to.
Robot Insurance is the only thing that will keep you safe.
AAAGGGHHHH!!!! PUNY HU-MAN!!! GIVE ME TWINKIES!!!! BBRAAAUUGGHHHH!!!!
hey reid, you got a visitor!

 

by hansthecat
8-15-01
i can't find anything to eat around here, can you?
what is this "eat"?
wait, you smell that? i think a rat might be on fire somewhere.
i can't find any medicine for fuel around here, can you?
anyway, who was it that decided that bugs and robots would be the only things left alive? did i miss a meeting?
HU-MANS ALL DEAD!! NOW CRUSH BUGS!!!

 

by hansthecat
8-17-01
I AM BEAUTIFUL.
.LUFITUAEB MA I
AM I NOT BEAUTIFUL?!
wow, YEAH, you really ARE beautiful!!
WANT TO SEE WHAT MAKES MY INNER MACHINE PURR LIKE A KITTEN?!
no thanks.

 

by hansthecat
8-17-01
zzz
*sigh* this is boring.
zzz
i hate waiting in line.
zzz
i could liven things up a little with my al pacino impression.

 

by hansthecat
8-21-01
excuse me, do you know what time it is?
yee-haw! well howdy there, pardner!
hey, i don't appreciate that. my momma raised me right; she always told me don't take no bull from nobody.
giddyup!
yee-haw!
"and the skies are not cloudy all day!"

 

by hansthecat
8-30-01
ugh, what's that smell?
**buurrp** sorry, christian, i think i just ate a rotten acorn.
whoa, how do you know my name?
there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosphy.
oh yeah? well my philosphy is: barbecued squirrel sounds pretty good for dinner.
um, that guy over there told me your name!

 

by hansthecat
9-07-01
YOU
ARE
GETTING
SLEEPY
PUNY
HU-MAN!!!

 

by hansthecat
9-07-01
i am a shark.
oh, excuse me, sharky! didn't hear ya there!
i make no sound.

 

by hansthecat
10-08-01
hey, sleeping with the fishes may take a while to get used to, but it's better than sleeping alone, ha ha!
i wonder if this thing is on.

 

by hansthecat
10-08-01
ow, cut it out!
what? i didn't do anything!
bull, i saw your hand! hold on a sec, i'm turning on the light.
no wait, don't!
uh, where the hell am i, and who the hell are you?
it's not important. go back to sleep.

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