All comics by kernelboi

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by kernelboi
1-03-02
it's dark outside
I'm a floating bread crumb in the gasoline/water/vegetable oil.
he iz tehmessiah!!!1
it's dark outside

 

by kernelboi
1-03-02
hey, hi, it's amanda's birthday tomorrow. she's neat.
I can read your thoughts because they're right there in that little box.
I'm in a trashcan
don't throw yourself away
the moon is pretty

 

by kernelboi
1-04-02
you're a fucking cockface, you stupid piece of shit.
I said!!.....

 

by kernelboi
1-04-02
I may be a foot shorter than you but, I'm an ancient pagan evil, did you know that?
y0, you din give exact change sucka foo!
shut up
I'm gonna kick yo ass foo!
stupid humans, I warned them.
hey...

 

by kernelboi
1-04-02
I know not
what is the methodology, I don't understand, please release me, this is pain most unknown. I fear.
to the victor the spoils. into it, up to your neck.
I do not
please release me
please release me from this. this act of creation is a thing most frightening, there is none left but I alone. there is nothing left but scorn.
I have not
I know not fear, I know only that which I know I know not. the skies tremble and the seas bleed with oxygen, bring your destruction upon you like the fires of the eternal furnace. paper or plastic?
will it ever finish? I place my trust. love me. hi your fly's down. nice panties. please release me.

 

by kernelboi
1-04-02
bzzt
squeak moan kerfuck oooohhhh!!!!! mmmmmmm!!! nnnggggh!! uuuuuuunnnnff!!! oh god oh god oh god oh mmmmmm!!!!!!!!!! jesusmaryandjoseph oooooohhhhbaaaabbyy mmmmmmmm-
I really like pink schiffon
bzzt

 

by kernelboi
1-04-02
I'm jewish
so? what's wrong with being jewish.
well, you fuck, I'm not kosher but I'm jewish. and I am socially obligated to say oy. sometimes. I like pork why can't I eat it wah! eat me! ruff. I can balance on this ball and you can't asswhipe.
dude you have stupid shorts.
dude you have a stupid diaper.
I was jewish once, you fuck, and look what happened to me. pass the bacon, mmm. *convulses and shakes*

 

by kernelboi
1-04-02
ring ring ring fucking ring ring ring mmmm oooohh oooo
hi I like to go for long walks on the beach and pick up money when I see it and you have pretty buttons
brrrrrriiiinnng moan ohmy yesdaddyyes do it oooooohhh mmmmm
I'm so not good enough for you, what if I lose you? I'll never be whole. I am broken. please don't leave me! I NEED YOU! you had me at hello! you had me at hello!
there is a light there and it does not sleep oh let's skip helol I dont' liek stpuid pppl plz sai hey 2 mi p33pz I thnk their iz moer then juzt I

 

by kernelboi
1-04-02
this is the beginning
this is the end, fuckface

 

by kernelboi
1-05-02
PRIASE G0D!!!!!!!!!!!!1111
BOOOOOY HOWDY!!!!!!!1 WOOOHOO!!!1

 

by kernelboi
1-07-02
stupid amish bastards!
*hic*.......... *hic*.......
I mean what the fuck do they take me for? a blender? why am I inherently evil?
*hic* ..... *fart*.... *hic* *hic*...... *hi-
I wonder if menanites would take me in.
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

by kernelboi
1-07-02
omfgushutz^st00p2dpr1ckf4c3b1tch.iownzj0st00pidsk4nk4zzm0f0usux0rzliakth31rzn02m0rr0w0mfg
d00dshuty3rfukk1nf4c3Img0nn4r1py3rfukk1nhed0ff4ndspl4ttery3rfukkingu754ll0v3rtehstr33tst00p1db1atch
ring ring ring ring
bring, ring, bring, ring
AAHHH *crash* *bang**splat* LOOK OUT *blam blam blam blam blam* aAAaaaAAhhh
010010010101010010101010101010110 101010101010101010101 1010101010110

 

by kernelboi
1-07-02
d00dy3rafukkinm0r0n1h4t3y3r fukkingu75 5tup1db14tch

 

by kernelboi
1-11-02
into oblivion. I feel so alone, can I trust you? you make it hard to see, you make it hard to know, you make everything too hard, but so do I. maybe I know you too well, maybe I don't know you at all.
why? why hath thou forsaken one such as I? if there were no others would I just make you cry? you tell me I'm stuck on myself, yet you leave me so alone myself is all I have.
from your perspective all you see is the wound, bright red, blaring. you say it's mine not yours. I'll share the rest with you, but I'm too injured to give it. and you don't want to work for it...
I've put so much into this devotion. worked so hard, and you're too afraid to take a few steps for me. you know you couldn't return, you don't want to make a mistake..
if you'd only let me look into your eyes you'd know how important it was, you'd understand th significance, that all these breaths, for you I take.
into the sky. beautiful. I'd hold you if you'd let me, I'd keep you safe, I'd keep you happy, and ask no more stupid questions. fulfillment is never one-sided. I know what you need...

 

by kernelboi
2-23-02
I'm a bitch.
I'm a lover
I'm a child!
I'm a mother!
I'm a sinner I'm a saint...
dude, I just remembered I hate that fucking song. thanks a whole fucking lot asshole!*sigh* I'm going to go kill myself now.

 

by kernelboi
3-06-02
and here we present you with the minutes from the most recent session of congress
ok so you bend over, and then I'll...
sorry, I've never done this before.
yes mr. speaker.
s'g;hgs you're a goat, bitch.
MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH
no anal sex will be permitted on this congressional commitee!
look up my skirt
no, you look up my skirt first

 

by kernelboi
3-06-02
I'm clever
clever? or, like, a cleaver?
well, like... kind of like that guy that juggles those chainsaws...
there's millions upon millions of guys that juggle chainsaws! you are SO stupid!
um... why does it always turn perverted? *sigh*
I have to pee.
I just did! and I haaaaave piiiccctuuuuures!

 

by kernelboi
10-28-02
man I sure could use a blow
if only.....
hey you! you with the big open mouth!
mmm... his head is so shiny....

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