All comics by lord_zen

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by lord_zen
9-15-02
And now its time for...the Bongo show!!!
We're here again with a Canadian who has a few thoughts on how Bush's "War on Terrorism" might affect Canada
merk sheddebod i comikolop
We're here again with a Canadian who has a few thoughts on how Bush's "War on Terrorism" might affect Canada
...
um...

 

by lord_zen
9-15-02
And now its time for...the Bongo show!!!
We're here again with a Canadian who has a few thoughts on how Bush's "War on Terrorism" might affect Canada
merk sheddebod i comikolop
Well Mr.....Canadian...what exactly are your thoughts on this "War on Terrorism"?
...
um...

 

by lord_zen
9-15-02
Hey man, did you know the painted desert is like, over a hundered years old? Isn't that cool?
And it's all made up of dirt that's different colors... Did you know that? Cuz i didnt know that...
Hey did you know I can turn myself inside out? Isn't that cool? Look! You can see my breakfast digesting! Cool!

 

by lord_zen
9-15-02
Your tricks do not impress me Poochie...it's your time...
You cannot escape the inevitable Poochie...death comes for us all...even circus dogs. Now come along.
*sigh* I don't think you're listening to me...

 

by lord_zen
9-15-02
With his newly appointed army of Hell Squirrels, Lord Zen prepares his assault on earth...
Man, it took me forever to save up enouh human heads to get these lttle guys...they had better be worth it...

 

by lord_zen
9-15-02
Your cowardly guns are no match for my...
SUPER ULTRA DRAGON KI-

 

by lord_zen
9-15-02
...heh yeah so then i was like...hey man, she wants me and so then he was like no oh yeah man she wants you..haw haw...i was like hey baby wanna know the torque ratio on a '99 ferrarri? and she was...
Tired of his crap, LordZen and the gang sent Biff away to go party with the Canadians...

 

by lord_zen
9-17-02
Lord Zen goes to Canada to begin his assault...
Hey you there! Canadian! Tell me where your capital is so that I might overrun it with small woodland creatures from Hell.
...
Direct me to your capital, Canadian, or you will be the first to die!
desplemebot ili korobikog
um...is this Canada?

 

by lord_zen
9-17-02

 

by lord_zen
10-23-02
Biff the humanitarian battling yet another communication barrier...with the help of his beer...
...oh my god dude, and then i was like, no way man she thinks im like hotter man, shes the one that puked on MY bed! thats right MY bed and besides its not like she wasnt sitting on it earlier yknow?
¡una vez defacated accidentalmente en mi televisión!
oh i know man I KNOW! i tried to tell him that she wants me but he was like, no way man...

 

by lord_zen
10-24-02
I...I can't believe it...
I...I can't believe it...
I...I can't believe it...

 

by lord_zen
10-24-02
I..I can't believe it...
I DROPPED my ice cream!
I had it...it was in my hands, and now...gone...
You gonna eat that?

 

by lord_zen
10-24-02
Y'know what I hate?! I hate it when this crap doesnt save correctly and you get the same panel over and over.
Me too...
Y'know what I hate?! I hate it when this crap doesnt save correctly and you get the same panel over and over.
Me too...
Y'know what I hate?! I hate it when this crap doesnt save correctly and you get the same panel over and over.
Me too...

 

by lord_zen
11-24-02
sup dude, change for a five?
akshmelocock! hullamah hullamah!!
um, ok..i guess not...
its one of those damn americans!
you know what you must do...
yes lord, but there are no goats around here!

 

by lord_zen
11-24-02
*sigh* LISTEN UP you have to kill that american boy!
but what about the goat?
FORGET ABOUT THE GOAT!!
oh...i
just get your spears and get to it...
can i spear the goat?

 

by lord_zen
11-24-02
hey it's you again! hows it goin?
meshulalalulaha!
heh, what? hey did you follow me here? all the way from the desert?
achshnepop! you..is..a..sanada...beech
hold on a sec! what did you say?! say it again!
you...is...ded... ugly...goat...beech... hamerdican!

 

by lord_zen
11-24-02
hey man, youre really asking for it, you know that?! i wouldnt push my buttons if i were you! go mind your own buisness!
beech!!....you....beech ...infedel...beech...die ...beech
this fight needs some cheesy hair band rock theme music! da-da-da-du-du-de-da-da-de-da!!! woooo!!! rock and roll man!

 

by lord_zen
11-24-02
yeah rock on!! guitar solo!! deldlededededledede!! yeah!!!....wait...whats that rumbling?
oman...i feel kinda weird...that music....its cool but....grrrrrrraghh...
what a trip man! im outta here! ROCK AND ROLL!
MWAHAHAHAHA!
or should we say LORD ZEN and the arab!
NOW YOURE SCREWED, CAMEL BOY! HAHAHA!
o....sheet...

 

by lord_zen
11-24-02
hey Paige, whats up?
hey honey...wow you look exausted...what happened?
i got in a fght with this frickn arab guy...he followed me all the way from the desert just to call me names and start a fight
this isnt over...im gonna get online and order one of those destructo bots or something
you NEED a shower...you smell like camel!

 

by lord_zen
11-24-02
so what did you do anyway, mess with his goat? you know this is a dumb idea....
cmon seriously...you dont have the money for one of those destructo bots anyway... besides, i heard they have morality issues and some of them become insecure
you can mail him one of those bombs youve been saving up!

 

by lord_zen
11-24-02
hey Hal, i ordered one of those destructo bots so i can send it to go kill that arab punk
you didnt see that mess after the fight?!
wha-?
yea, i came out of starbucks and i saw you change into Lord Zen and then you wiped him out...i think...there was alot of smoke and fire and stuff so i didnt see exactly what happened, but you won
starbucks? theres a starbucks there?

 

by lord_zen
11-25-02
you sorry disgrace for a...jihad...guy!
im sorry my lord...i will get my spear and kill that american
youre damn right you will!
..right after i find my goat...
rrrrgh...look, ill give you a thousand virgin goats if you kill that american boy....AND blow yourself up in the process!
you got it.

 

by lord_zen
11-25-02
hey Paige! its here! my destructo bot is here! i cant wait to send it off to go-
wait wait...some assembly required?! aww crap.
hey! yknow what that means? i can custom build it the way i want! im gonna rig it up to mow the lawn too!
hold on! lemme get the blender and the vacuum cleaner!

 

by lord_zen
11-25-02
well Hal, what do you think? pretty good, huh?
you said you were...done assembling it?
yeah...im not sure how good its gonna vacuum though...
ok, but what if that arab destroys it?
what are you talking about?! hes not even gonna know what hit him!
well, even if he does hold together, he certainly doesnt look intimidating wth that blender there...youre gonna move it right?

 

by lord_zen
11-25-02
Hal, you remember the other day when you were telling me about how i turned into Lord Zen....well i got to thinking... what the hell are you talking about?!
you remember the time you heard that cheesy eighties rock and you went bonkers and exploded into flame, looked like a red lizard and insisted everyone call you Lord Zen?
no, i dont remember...i just woke up in my garage and i had a huge headache and a bunch of buisness cards in my pocket...
well its been happening ever since...
i cant believe it! does anything else like this happen and no one is telling me?
well you always manage to skip the number eleven, but i think you were like that before...

 

by lord_zen
11-25-02
dont worry, she likes you...
keep wrestling, it'll pay off...
...i know you did it OJ...put the knife down...

 

by lord_zen
11-25-02
just hold still...they might not see us...
...my cheeks hurt...

 

by lord_zen
12-04-02

 

by lord_zen
12-04-02
destructo bot! i am your creator and you will follow my every command! now seek and destroy that arabic scum!
now now dont just sit there robot! go and fullfill your duty! find him and kill him!
um, youre going the wrong way! follow the camel tracks!
1101010101110001010110

 

by lord_zen
12-04-02
11010111010111010
11010101101011101011

 

by lord_zen
12-04-02
what is this? a metal god?
there he is! destroy him!
PR3P/\R3 T0 D13?
o...sheet

 

by lord_zen
12-04-02
um...hello?

 

by lord_zen
3-25-03
what do you want, im busy right now.
i was just wondering...
is there any chance that by the time you are done with your homework youll want to hurl me at someone in order to re-establish to yourself your value as a masculine and superior figure?
hmmm....
yea, thought so. cya then.

 

by lord_zen
3-25-03
oh, god. not this game again...get up get up. get up
get up get up get up get up get up.
hmm? you say something?
no.

 

by lord_zen
4-23-04
so wait a minute Will, youre telling me they had TWENTY people on the balcony?
well it was more like 18
i had no idea that was even possible... and it didnt fall through?
nope.. when we have our move in party well get at least 20 up there
shyeet, if its gonna be THAT kind of party, im gonna stick my dick in the mash potatoes!
- mental image -

 

by lord_zen
4-23-04
well ok, ben had this idea for a short where you use the giant wooden spoon to fend off hordes of unrelenting, horribly organized, semi-skilled ninjas. you think you can do that?
I want the SPOOON! where is the spooooooon! spoony spoon spoon!
but the thing is, YOU have the spoon. ill give you a copy of the script and we need you to bring it tomorrow morning ok?
spooon! gumby? SPOOOON!
ok, rick. where is she? and wheres my spoon!? were gonna get SO behind if we dont get that spoon here soon! ... heyy that rhymed!
i am going to fail film school, ben. and i blame you, mostly.

 

by lord_zen
4-23-04
shooting: day 1
in this scene youre going to use the holy spoon of Kan Chi to battle your way through the ninjas, uncover their dope ring, smite their leader, and return it to the isolated japanese village shrine
K
ACTION!
H¡¥?!
ok, thats the last time you stab anyone with a COPING SAW, you understand?
K

 

by lord_zen
4-23-04

 

by lord_zen
4-23-04
... so, we were hoping to get a TEEN perspective of the 2004 campaign. any thoughts on the attack ads used by either party?
awww, cmon all you have to do is THINK your response so we can get the new issue rolling! just think of something! ANYTHING!
yes! i just KNEW these scratchem tickets would pay off one day!

 

by lord_zen
4-25-04
okay Will, im ready to go kayaking but...
but what?
i have this irrational fear of flipping over and drowning
is it because last time you nearly drowned so we took all your cash and shoved you downstream and left you for dead?
well, no...
oh wait that was Rick. nevermind.

 

by lord_zen
4-25-04
so were finally gonna finish portal potty, so i need you to get in the pipe for our "money shot" so we can begin
chasen wants a stunt double this time. he got sick last time from jumping in that sewage water
what?! he did FINE last time! make him do it again
oh yeah and half the crew has poison ivy. again
which one are you anyway? jared or brandon?
does it matter?

 

by lord_zen
4-29-04
ok mikey, you really need to stop using your powers for evil ! you need to just accept and have compassion for those who are different from you!
incoming.
?
way to go mikey! keep up the good work!

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