All comics by madambanjo

 

by madambanjo
3-06-12
What to do tonight.
Poor Johan what a surprise..
Some help from Trev maybe...

 

by madambanjo
3-06-12
Well baconman you've cooked your goose
Christ its Nurse Banjo
And time for your temperature
Please nurse Banjo
Just wait til those bars get red hot
And I used to be a Pig

 

by madambanjo
3-06-12
Trevor had rather taken to a new outfit...
What does he think hes doing!
Must find a light socket
Trevor had rather taken to a new outfit...
No Trevor No!
Must find a light socket
Trevor had rather taken to a new outfit...
Remember what happened last time!
Must find a light socket

 

by madambanjo
3-07-12
Please speak up for me in court
I need your help
For you mob!
Please speak up for me in court
I was told you could bend the rules
I'm bend you in a minute
Please speak up for me in court
Ahaaa
You mean you trust me more than your your own G man!

 

by madambanjo
3-07-12
Please speak up for me in court
Nurse Banjo I need your help
For your mob!
Please speak up for me in court
I was told you could bend the rules
I'll bend you in a minute
Please speak up for me in court
Now get over on that bed and I'll show what it was like
I think I'd rather go straight to jail

 

by madambanjo
3-07-12
Storage...
Might have to go to Big Yellow
x
What do you think alter ego?
Double them up....anyway be nice cold
x
Bored stiff.....now there's an idea..

 

by madambanjo
3-07-12
I've been looking for you! Under 'Chopping Block' Eh!
Ah....erm...
Thought you'ld blend in and I'd walk straight past eh!.... Now turn round!
But......nurse B...
Temperature time!
Could be worse....

 

by madambanjo
3-08-12
The world had become a safer place
And for my next trick..
For some...
What is it now Trevor?
I want to go to the toilet please
And flush it!
And you look ridiculous!

 

by madambanjo
3-09-12
Trevor gets promoted
I've decided to promote you to bitch and feed you some fish...
Yippee! no longer at the bottom of the pecking order
He dosen't seem to realise what promotion means...
You will of course have to be purged of that evil brown stuff that comes out of you
Anything to please you Nurse Banjo
Oh dear....
This is just for starters, fetch me the hose pipe bitch
Will do......(Tears welling)

 

by madambanjo
3-09-12
Mm Banjo was pleased with her new look...
This demure look is going to fool them..
The full moon is the zenith of Mm Banjos month spoilt by just one thing....
Oh god it's my period someones in for something alright!
Even on the rags nothing will stop the Banjo machine..
You will all have to wait your turn!

 

by madambanjo
3-09-12
Nurse Banjo's new business....
Just testing the machine before the easy meat comes through...
Mmmm going very well
Further along it wraps them in industrial strength clingfilm
Nurse Banjo realises the money making potential of the Electric Banjo Simulator
And then gives them a good flogging.....just as well it wears me out!

 

by madambanjo
3-09-12
Mm Banjo is working on a Large Banjo Collider with an assistant...
No not there Trevor! or do you want to go on the Electric Banjo Simulator again...
That does it! EBS to the Max! for you my lad..

 

by madambanjo
3-09-12
Toilet duty....
Say goodbye to that toilet cleaning misery...
Buy one get one free..
I'll put some Vim in them...
Now get cracking you !**!**! two!

 

by madambanjo
3-09-12
Mm Banjo's Dark Side
I need a favour Madam B...
What's in it for me Reap?
Mm Banjo's Dark Side
You can have some off cuts..
Those drawers over there are full of them
Mm Banjo's Dark Side
I wasn't thinking of a main course
I was

 

by madambanjo
3-09-12
Johan is in for a treat
Not sure about the long hair Johan, hmm.... come into the 'Salon'
He just dosen't know it yet
Maybe just a trim then
I'll give him a trim alright! and stop staring at my tits!
Having strapped him down in the 'Salon'
Well he ain't going to get it cut like Clint Eastwood thats for sure!

 

by madambanjo
3-09-12
Johan emerged after 48 hours in the 'Salon' a changed man in a permament trance...
Thats the hair done now lets sort the rest of you out at least you're not staring at my tits!
Nurse Banjo always has her charms on display and the slightest glance is dealt with most severly....
I'm here to help Nurse Banjo
Go on stare at them! Stare at'em!...... Bugger he won't I'm going to flog him anyway
Johan can now look forward to a lifetime of servitude to 'The House of Banjo'
Yes Mam
Fetch the riding crop I need some exercise and get back in the 'Salon'

 

by madambanjo
3-09-12
There is a calamity in the 'House of Banjo' Johan has escaped!
Look you half wit you were supposed to be keeping an eye on him you penguin pillock!
Doh....
Honestly you can't get the staff these days...
Go out and comb Putney, no not with a comb... "LOOK FOR HIM!"
Doh....
Nurse Banjo realises the solution is to go into stealth mode......The Hunt is on!
Get a move on for Christs sake!!!....I think I'm going to have to do this myself...
Doh....

 

by madambanjo
3-10-12
Johan caught! .... Part One
Gotcha
He's rather worse for wear...
If you think this is sleeping rough just wait til I get you home!
I wonder if she'll let me keep this bottle of cider?
Nurse Banjo is in second heaven thinking up a suitable punishment for Johan...but is it possible this is exciting the errant slave?
That get up might fool my penguin but not me, its the staring eyes that gave you away slave
Must not stare at them, but she does have a great pair of tits.... Oh no, no, no ......I think going to have an accident.....Arrrrhhh

 

by madambanjo
3-10-12
Part Two
Stop playing with it right now! That was a most disgusting episode earlier!
I'm so sorry Nurse Banjo
Poor Johan better be very careful indeed..
Now get back in your uniform
Yes mam...
Johan is about to absorb his cider in a whole new way....to be continued....
Get in your room! Unzip the rear panel.....and relax....

 

by madambanjo
3-10-12
Gotcha Part Two
You can stop playing with it right now! That was a most disgusting episode earlier
I'm so sorry Nurse Banjo please forgive me...
Johan wonders whats next...
Right, clean yourself up and get back in your uniform NOW!
Surely it's not happening again!
Johan was about to absorb his cider in a whole new way...
Relax???????
Fetch that bottle of cider then unzip the rear panel and better for you if you relax....

 

by madambanjo
3-10-12
There are concerns at The House of Banjo, Gimp'han & PenTrev are worried...
Why is Nurse Banjo being less cruel to us today?
Perhaps it's the lull before the storm
There are concerns at The House of Banjo, Gimp'han & PenTrev are worried...
Anyway where is Nurse B?
The last time I saw her she was in the Laboratory reading Rubber Death Monthly
There are concerns at The House of Banjo, Gimp'han & PenTrev are worried...
Ahrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!
Ahrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

 

by madambanjo
3-11-12
Nurse Banjo is losing her Sadistic desires and is going for therapy...
What seems to be the trouble Nurse Banjo, sorry may I call you Nurse Banjo?
You better or you'll be in my Lab before you can say yarmulke mate!
Professor Purge realises this won't be easy....
Do you have any nurse qualifications?
Of course I fucking don't I just like wearing the uniform, do you?
The Prof decides the session is over..
I have a PHD
What in buggering about and wasting my fucking time!

 

by madambanjo
3-11-12
Nurse Banjo had placed an advertisement in the Putney Guardian...
Good morning Nurse Banjo
The Ad clearly said 'Finger Puppet'!
However Nurse B already had the rubber glves to hand...
Sorry
And N.S.A means 'No Strings Attached'!
Poor Russ.....
Eeek...
Oh well nothing ventured...

 

by madambanjo
3-12-12
Nurse Banjo likes her TV....
And what are you staring at!
Nurse Banjos ample bosom attracts even the TV..
I know what you're staring at!!
The TV gets the same treatment as most things in The House of Banjo...
I'm going to stick this right up your capacitor!

 

by madambanjo
3-13-12
Poor Johan had gone back to his usual persona...
Errr
You're lucky I've put you in the 'Gimps Final'
But he wish he'd gone home..
Does this mean?
Yes!
Poor Johan...
The red hot thermometer?
Yes and warmed up by your very own Madam Banjo!

 

by madambanjo
3-13-12
Poor Johan had drifted into a world only had Trevor entered...
Errr..
I think I smell the scent of booze on you!
He now realised he was now in the clutches of the dreaded mm Banjo...
I'm here to ......
Just button it you dribbling cidered mess of humanity there's only one thing you lot understand!
A relaxing bath awaits our friend. underwater.....
Super..
You are going to get a nice warm bath!

 

by madambanjo
3-13-12
He had not quite prepared for such a confrontation...
I'm so sorry Nurse Banjo
I should think so, you excuse for a viking
He had mislaid his sword...which was a shame as he was a one time swinger of the same.......
Do you think we could work something out?
Like what
It had gone past midnight..
I could like slip you a crippler?
How dare you!.....anyway what do mean like?

 

by madambanjo
3-13-12
A little frightened Johan was still quite obsessed with Nurse Banjo...
I'm not , I'm not please Mm Banjo
You're all the same, tit mad! Well in my house my lad you will pay the price!
Although cidered up Johan was beginning to smell a rat...
How much is it?
You'll find out when you beg to get out..
Luckily she had a soft spot for him....Poor Johan turned and waited.....
AhrAAAAAA
I haven't even started yet!

 

by madambanjo
3-14-12
Johan only came in for a haircut, or so he thought.. Nurse Banjo had other ideas....
Johan,.... Johan?
The operation was done to bring his 'niceness' to the fore...
A few ajustments I think
The poor chap was being slowly conditioned...
Perfect! Now go and make a "nice" strip cartoon about Nurse Banjo, can you do that?
Errrrrrr nice......ness.....

 

by madambanjo
3-14-12
Nurse Banjo has a new pet...
Thats my boy!
But shes not sure what to feed it.....
Hmmm...
The nurse has some scraps......
No problem, there's some bits of Johan lying around!

 

by madambanjo
3-15-12
Nurse Banjo was doing her shopping list...
So far I have eggs, bacon, milk and how much rope do you need?
How much rope! How much do you think you half wit!
The new boy had started to irritate Nurse B...
I'm sorry but this is my first day...
I need enough to truss up three adults, no better make that four as you're here
Nurse B was now looking forward to the new lads return...
I'll be as quick as I can
If only he knew

 

by madambanjo
3-15-12
Madam Banjo watched with great amusement as two of her subjects had a 'conversation'
I'm like...D'oh and you're like "Errrrrr"
And you're like "D'oh" and I'm like "Errrrr"
Madam Banjo watched with great amusement as two of her subjects had a 'conversation'
I'm like...D'oh and you're like "Errrrrr"
And you're like "D'oh" and I'm like "Errrrr"
Mm Banjo Has them where she wants them!!
I'm like...D'oh and you're like "Errrrrr"
And you're like "D'oh" and I'm like "Errrrr"

 

by madambanjo
3-16-12
Nurse Banjo had run into an old acquaitance..
Hey high five Mmmm Banjo, yoos ok for dopes?
Not here for Christ's sake Blink!
His name was Blink a cross between bling and not being able to see very well...
Long time noos see
You're telling me, I think he'll go down well with the rest of my 'Dopes'
Poor Blink wished he have never bumped into Nurse banjo....
D'oh, whats going on in there?
New meat........... Mm Banjo is so niceness to me now, the niceyness she has ever been....

 

by madambanjo
3-16-12
Nurse Banjo had run into an old acquaitance..
Hey high five Mmmm Banjo, yoos ok for dopes?
Not here for Christ's sake Blink!
His name was Blink a cross between bling and not being able to see very well...
Long time noos see
You're telling me, I think he'll go down well with the rest of my 'Dopes'
Poor Blink wished he have never bumped into Nurse banjo....
D'oh, whats going on in there?
New meat........... Mm Banjo is so niceness to me now, the niceyness she has ever been....

 

by madambanjo
3-17-12
Nurse Banjo had made horticulture a new hobby....
When do I eat?
Hmmm...I don't have anymore bits of Johan maybe a second operation
The new plant needed more than water.....
She's reading my mind.....good....
Well I hope you like penguins
Could she spare Trev though?....
D'oh
Trev meet Triff,....Triff...Trev...

 

by madambanjo
3-19-12
Nurse Banjos twin sister 'Scary Banjo' had arrived after years apart...
Where have you been all this time?
On a pirate ship coastin' the Arabian Sea but them barrrstarrrrd's cast me ashorrrre...
But she was marooned on a desert island for not keeping the hostages alive......
But there's only one 'R' in bastard
Aye, but when you're mixin' with the pirate it rub's off on yerrrr...
Nurse Banjo had wondered about her sister's pronounciation.....
Are you sure you didn't pick it up from Trevor?
That's a point! Where is the land lubber? I'll show 'im what it was like on board. Rrrrrrr..

 

by madambanjo
3-20-12
There was an intruder in 'The Church of Banjo'
OUT, OUT,OUT!
Got the wrong one here...
Nurse B was rather enjoying her new venture
You'll do my little hooded friend.....now on your knees...
Must have had the hood down too low to end up in 'ere
Opening the 'Church of Banjo' was a stroke of brilliance the gullible now come to her....
Make sure no one gets out before they have been put in my Gordian Knot..
Anything you say Nurse Banjo then I shall worship you...

 

by madambanjo
3-20-12
The Reverend Nurse Banjo was finding out who was good on the organ...
What have I let myself in for?
And none of this 'Onward C*** Soldiers' mate...
Although he played quite well its not what the Rev Nurse Banjo had in mind..
I can play some Mozart..
I was thinking more Chopin mate..
The poor chap was on a hiding to nothing...and some Wagner to follow..
Which one?
Are you taking the piss?...

 

by madambanjo
3-20-12
The Reverend Nurse Banjo was finding out who was good on the organ...
What have I let myself in for?
And none of this 'Onward C*** Soldiers' mate...
Although he played quite well its not what the Rev Nurse Banjo had in mind..
I can play some Mozart..
I was thinking more Chopin mate..
The poor chap was on a hiding to nothing...and some Wagner to follow..
Which one?
Are you taking the piss?...

 

by madambanjo
3-20-12
The Reverend Nurse Banjo was finding out who was good on the organ...
What have I let myself in for?
And none of this 'Onward C*** Soldiers' mate...
Although he played quite well its not what the Rev Nurse Banjo had in mind..
I can play some Mozart..
I was thinking more Chopin mate..
The poor chap was on a hiding to nothing...and some Wagner to follow..
Which one?
Are you taking the piss?...

 

by madambanjo
3-31-12
Nurse Banjo is working on a time machine to go back to Johans 16th birthday...
Right, get me some uranium, a compass and some cheap French implants off you go chop chop!
How can I remember 3 things?
Time would no longer be a barrier to her deeds...
I'm going to have to get a new assistant and I think I know just the one
D'oh, d'oh
A stroke of genius.....Johan sealing his own fate!
This is the most important part, step into the machine and insert it up to the red part!
Yes Nurse Banjo...

 

by madambanjo
4-16-12
Nurse banjo had entered Trevor United into the Banjo League with poor results and in danger of relegation at the end of the season...
Light Sockets 1 Trev United nil what have you got to say Trev?
Sorry boss
Poor Trev does not want to incur the wrath of Nurse Banjo and prays for an easier fixture....
Now get that team of yours to stop waving their hands about and giving away penalties!
Yes boss, who have we got next week
Maybe the future of Trevor United is looking up at last ...or is it?
Wing Mirror City
Yipee!

 

by madambanjo
4-16-12
Nurse banjo had entered Trevor United into the Banjo League with poor results and in danger of relegation at the end of the season...
Light Sockets 1 Trev United nil what have you got to say Trev?
Sorry boss
Poor Trev does not want to incur the wrath of Nurse Banjo and prays for an easier fixture....
Now get that team of yours to stop waving their hands about and giving away penalties!
Yes boss, who have we got next week
Maybe the future of Trevor United is looking up at last ...or is it?
Wing Mirror City
Yipee!

 

by madambanjo
1-28-13
Nurse Banjo needed fresh meat the new fireman just wasn't up to it...but he had another idea...
Errmmmm
What the fuck! Hardly big enough for a burger, find me something else.
Strangely Nurse Banjo quite liked the idea of the wet uniform look ...
Now?
Not on full power, start from the bottom...
The fireman was getting a bit too excited...and so was Nurse Banjo...
Yes, yes yeeeeeeessss!
Now the front

 

by madambanjo
2-02-13
Gareth found himself in a strange place..
I'm thinking of doing stand up
Not falling around? Ha ha ha!
Of course he should have known better.
God shes got a bit of form!
How dare you!
Suddenly she turned him into an ice cream freezer...
I, I, I'm sorry Nurse Ban, Nurse Banjo....
Too late! Thats what happens to naughty boys!

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