All comics by mattmallone

 

by mattmallone
7-26-05
I wonder if this pink door, is to feminin
hi sophie
eww, f*ck off you pervy old queer!

 

by mattmallone
7-26-05
welcome to church
let me see your knickers
god bless you my child

 

The police were taking statements
..Are you mocking me?
by mattmallone, 7-26-05

 

by mattmallone
7-29-05
the comic creaters drunk again
he's a newb on the site, and just because he read the 'in-joke' section, he's trying to be cool
i think he's confusing the word cool, with fucking cunt. i wonder if he donated 1 pence of british sterling pounds, he could get a gold star
i think he should save all his money for his penis enlargment
greens, sooo not your colour. you suicide bombing slag
sucky, sucky 5 dollar

 

by mattmallone
7-31-05
i live in britian, but i oppose all western values, thats £2 for the big mac
yes, praise allah, praise allah innit, can i get some serviettes my bitch always gets ketchup on her burka
yes i have to collect my wifes burka from the dry cleaners, before i blow myself up
hey, when i blow myself up, and go to paradise with all those virgins, i'll have all the maccy d's i can eat, away from the oppression of the western man

 

by mattmallone
7-31-05
Buffy, im leaving you, i want my own tv show called ......ANGEL ..and im taking cordilia
ive been fucking spike anyway, this little slayer cant get enough of vampire cock.i want to concentrate on films anyway. IM BUFFY THE FUCKING VAMPIRE SLAYER
Meanwhile on the set of scream 2
what do you mean, i die after 5 minutes, IM BUFFY THE FUCKING VAMIRE SLAYER no one can kill me!!!!
LOOK SARAH, STOP KILLING THEM 'take 12' 'ci ci gets stabbed by dude in mask'
after a phone call from make up giants maybelene..
hi girls and trannies, IM BUFFY THE FUCKING VAMPIRE SLAYER if you want to fuck a pussy ass wanker like freddie prince junior, buy maybelene
'maybe she's born with it, maybe its maybelene

 

by mattmallone
8-03-05
just £5 a month could help...
: )
this baby recover from its under developed lung caused by its premature birth
: )
this unwanted teen pregancy baby could be speedily homed into a loving foster family
!
...this disgusting ginger thing get promptly exterminated and burned

 

by mattmallone
1-08-06
The pedo logs on to myspace, unfufilled from watching taped adverts of babies nappy comercials
damn!! ... britney sweet16 is taken
..so is sexy lil devil
so's... young wet and pubeless
GRR..SO'S .. horny cyber girl
YES!!..SUCCESS: old fat pervy pedo with cum stained fingers wants to wank over innocent little schoolgirls: 'accepted'
(((10,000 buddy requests waiting to be approved)))

 

by mattmallone
1-15-06
...because gays need to be reminded there gay
(((OI YOU, YOU FUGGING FAG, IF YOU WERE SELF HARMING AND I YAWNED I'D GET YOUR EVIL DIRTY AIDS, YOU FUCKING SELFISH SHIT DICK COVERED FAG!!!)))
(((OI YOU QUEER CUNT, IF A MADMAN STARTED SHOOTING IN THIS PARK AND I GOT SPLATTERED BY YOUR POISENED GAY BLOOD, I'D CATCH YOUR SICK AIDS)))
(((OI YOU FUCKING PERVE, I BET YOU DO LITTLE KIDDIES, KEEP THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME, YOU SHOULD ALL BE KILLED AND BURNED. YOU'D BUM ANYTHING YOU SICK FUCK)))

 

by mattmallone
1-15-06
hello, im a steriotypical right wing ignorant fundalmentalist christian
hello i am a steriotypical ignorant islamic extremist
my believes seem absoulutely stupid, and retarted to an educated person
my believes seem absoulutely stupid, and retarted to an educated person

 

by mattmallone
1-16-06
squeak squeak squeak
squeak!!!!
squeaky squeak squeak
squeak!!!!!
squeaky squeaky squeaky
SQUEAK!!!!!!!!

 

by mattmallone
1-19-06
Somewhere in an american school
my lonliness is killing me
aaand i, i must confess i still believe
STILL BELIEVE!!! when your not with me i lose my mind
give me a S-I-I-GN, hit me baby one more time
NEWS JUST IN: Brittany spears is a fucking slag,sucky sucky 5 dollar, heres tom with the weather

 

by mattmallone
2-01-06
excuse me old chap, but why did you vote for Bush?
yee haw, coz a feutus is a life, abortion is murder
but what about the war
ye haw, the war on terrosim, bush talks and acts like a real american cowboy, kerry is a pussy
do you know why the rest of the world dislikes you?
america is the world ye haw!

 

by mattmallone
2-06-06
in 30 days the world will be destroyed, and i can finally get laid by 30 virgins, praise alla, praise alla
ooooh no!!!, its Captain Rascist, nooooooooooooooo
fuck off back to your own country you dirty packy
i think everythings going to be all white!!!!

 

by mattmallone
2-23-06
on a funny looking balcony juliet speaks her heart
O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo? .....where the FUCK ARE YOU. I shaved my legs!!! and bleached my tash
meanwhile in the pub down the road. Romeo's had one 2 many for dutch courage
Lady, by yonder blessed moon I swear That tips with silver all these fruit-tree tops
sucky sucky 5 dolla

 

by mattmallone
3-31-06
after the translation of old scrolls found in some well old timecapsule found by dan brown..
we have discovered severel new findings
1-jesus's real name was Dj esus, and is a direct descendant of snoop dog
2- he wasnt crucified, but in fact died a long slow painful death of bad aids
3-finally, our greatest find was that he didnt actually exist at all, therefore all of you sad cunts here, have wasted your whole life for shit. matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration
that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.

 

i'm arresting you on suspision of pedophillia
by mattmallone, 4-22-06

 

i'm arresting you on suspision of being a terrorist
by mattmallone, 4-22-06

 

i'm arresting you for being intoxicated on drugs
by mattmallone, 4-22-06

 

for your next asignment, you're going to be a plant
by mattmallone, 4-22-06

 

=
put your hands where i can see them!
by mattmallone, 4-22-06

 

by mattmallone
5-18-06
Come visit Iraq
Relax on are well air condioned flights
Get lost in the rural scenery
...Just don't forget your Burkas for the beach, you don't want those nasty tan lines, ruining your super vacation
special reduced prices for Americans and British...BOOK NOW!!!

 

by mattmallone
5-18-06
Mattmallones gay???
Todays news is: what is mattmallones sexuality?
mmmm, i'd say he's a bummer, we asked some people on the street..
He..he..he made me take it up the arse!!! waaaaaaaa
Case solved, turns out he was only a kiddy fiddler.
in other breaking news, we ask, where is the middle of this desk? and coming up we talk to randomcomiclayout guys mum in a news at 10 special 'mothers with a penis'

 

Tom Hanks in: Phillidelphia 2
by mattmallone, 6-08-06

 

i hope random comic layout guy wins
me to
by mattmallone, 6-11-06

 

Can i have a large coke and a mop
by mattmallone, 6-11-06

 

so, thats chicken nuggets, 6...0r...8
aaaargh pieces of 8
by mattmallone, 6-11-06

 

by mattmallone
7-22-06
i'm bored and cant be bothered to make a comic for this competion, so instead, i'm going to write cunt a lot. cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt
cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt
cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt
cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt
cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt
cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt

 

by mattmallone
8-03-06
i like drawing penises, ive just failed my second year of graphics and advertising at university
apparently consumers won't buy products advertised by penises
i now work in a pub, i've tried to leave the penis drawings behind me, but its hard

 

I didn't know it could stretch like that!!
by mattmallone, 6-11-07

 

by mattmallone
11-17-09
What do you get when you cross a tree with a baseball player?
the Yankees' Japanese import, Hideki Matsui
look, i know this is a shit competition, please humour me, we can get through this together
ok, HIT ME AGAIN HO
What do you get when you cross a tree with a baseball player?
BABE ROOT

 

KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS SUNDAYS @ 10, ONLY ON 'E'
by mattmallone, 8-21-10

 

THE 80'S - GEORGE MICHEAL IS STRAIGHT!
Club Tropicana, drinks are free Fun and sunshine - there's enough for everyone. All that's missing is the sea, But don't worry, you can suntan!
by mattmallone, 9-21-10

 

Somewhere in Malawi 30 years ago..
I see future, White Devil woman will come and steal your grand children
PAPA DON'T PREACH
by mattmallone, 9-21-10

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