All comics by silentbob

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by silentbob
4-27-03
I claim, i say, i claim this bedroom in the name of the Confed'rit army!
This shit is wack yo.
I'm glad you come in here Billy
anything for you Pastor Dan!
I know why terrorism exists in the world!
Me too! It's because everyone wants to claim or fuck everything with no care to share!

 

by silentbob
4-27-03
Later that day...
O! my lord what have i done to deserve your wrath?
You plugged the butt of a little boy you sick fucker. Its hell for you.
But i begged forgiveness every time! Do i not deserve a second chance?
Yeah but i'm sick of you now. Here's your second chance!
oh shit!
i heard that.

 

by silentbob
4-27-03
meanwhile... in the gallows...
Hey...hey buddy
whats up, brother?
Oh nothin much, just this horrible agonizing death, ya know
that shit is wack yo!
Yeah, yeah, say hey uhh...do you think that life is more a series of random chaotic events and that we're just floating along on a breeze, or like do you think everything is all predetermined and shit
leave me alone.

 

by silentbob
4-27-03
fighting a war on terrorism is like fucking for virginity, man
i award you 5000 cred points!
hey man, courtney killed kurt
i award you 5000 cred points
i have enough to move out of my parents house now
why you mother fucking sell out

 

by silentbob
4-27-03
meanwhile...in the gallows
What is long, blue, veiny, rock solid, and makes women scream in the morning?
oh my fucking god i hate you
crib death!!!
DEAD BABY JOKES ARE CRUDE AND INSENSITIVE TO THOSE WHOVE SUFFERED SUCH TRIALS!!!
well if you're going to get testes about it
i'm ready to come whenever you wanna take me, Father

 

by silentbob
4-27-03
and now for the evening entertainment
welcome ladies and gentlemen! thank you for coming!
harrah! harrah! we have an absoultely wonderful show for ya'll tonight
indeed we do, Klovar. Who are our guests this evening?
Actor John Cusack, politician Tom Vilsack, and musical guest Bob Dylan!
Now that is a helluva show! aint it?
lets hope their life support kicks in, the abduction was rather harsh

 

by silentbob
4-28-03
meanwhile... in the desert
Gabe...*pant..pant* Gabe.. you must come away from there
one life force... one life
No Gabe! You don't know its power! The God that defended you is killing you slowly!
one life force....one life
GABE! it's taking you over! I will have to kill you too!
what doesn't kill me will only make me stronger

 

by silentbob
5-05-03
Will there be removal of tongues?
There will.
Will there be lacerations of limbs both large and small??
There will.
Will there be a price the audience will have to pay?
THERE WILL NOT!

 

by silentbob
6-01-03
One night, in the dungeon, freshly after masturbating into a pile of his own self loathing Chad decided he was going to practice self improvement, rather than self stimulation coupled with destruction
...siiigh...
He applied self help books and read up on what the experts said women would like
hmmm...
Chad struck out into the city, found a decent girl, followed her home, climbed up in the tree outside her building, and for old time sakes, masturbated into a pool of his own self disgust.
...siiigh...

 

by silentbob
6-01-03
there he was... outside her door... waiting for her to come out
this must be her husband... Chad was foiled again.
oh my! whatever do you want, my boy?
oh dear god..make the stomach pain stop
Chad just said nothing, and eventually the man closed the door.
there...it stopped.

 

by silentbob
6-01-03
Chad searched all night for his favorite toy.. hoping it would be the right thing
something inside chad ached with anticipation and guilt
but he pushed that little voice away because he found what he was looking for

 

by silentbob
6-01-03
it was late in the night when Chad saw the figure
Chad...chad... this isn't what you want to be doing
but i love her... i can't have another man sleeping in our bed
but if you love her... is a knife really want you want for something that SHE loves?
ok....point missed completely.

 

by silentbob
6-01-03
hehehe! oh, martin, i love it when you do that!
i can hear the sounds of their love
mmmmmm ooooohhh
it makes me hate him more!
whats that sound?
oh my god, yes, its all happening... owww my stommacccchhhh

 

by silentbob
6-01-03
oh my! its that boy again! i dare say you should put that down boy
but it was too late for martin
aaalllccckkk!!! aalckc!
and now too late for chad.
OH MY DEAR GOD!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE YOU MONSTER!

 

by silentbob
6-01-03
it was a hard day for the agent. he'd been up since six the day before and now he was called in on this
siiigh
And you followed her home and then when happened.
being woken up in the middle of the night for a double homicide for no apparent reason wasn't his ideal case scenario
i met her husband.
was there a confrontation? did he threaten you? did you threaten him?
he did the best he could with what he had. it didnt seem likely that the suspect would hurt him.
i was too depressed to threaten anyone then.

 

by silentbob
6-01-03
Being in jail was a lot like being in the dungeon. he could listen to the sounds the night made.
And for only $39.95 this desk set can be yours! Comes with matching pen case and name plate!
he could consider all the things he'd been through
Only a complete maniac wouldn't want this deal!
But mostly he just liked reading...and pretending everyone wasn't laughing at him.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

 

by silentbob
2-01-04
ok so uh... i called the ambulence... and... now they're ignoring us
boot to the moon jazz hands boot to the moon boot to the moon boot to the moon jazz hands
hey! ya wanna go to a nice bed? huh? that sound nice? Bed?
oh dear sweet god i'm in a tiny cage with just whistling and screaming! god make it stop! socold
everyone's leaving... to hell with you
are you my mommy?

 

by silentbob
2-06-04
scratch and sniff
i am a delicious tail of a dolphin
i too am a delicious tail of a dolphin
i am a collection of hot molecules that sizzle when they cook
i'm...not that so much... but... uh.. stuff.
this is more like it!
dude ima fuck you up

 

by silentbob
2-07-04
When asked what he was protesting...
Hey, dont you think people on strip creator are too hateful towards gay people?
What are you a faglover or something?
his response was...
Dude, why are you so .. uh.. heterocentric?
did you just say heterocentric? GUFFAW GUFFAW! is that even a word!?
"whaddya got?"
it comforts me to know you're going straight to hell when i kill you

 

by silentbob
2-08-04
... and then i just held a sign that said "shutup!" GUFFAW GUFFAW
why is he telling me this like he thinks i'll agree with him?
He was just a dumb hippie, so what did he know anyway?
maybe if i just stare at him blankly, neither approving nor disapproving he eventually will leave
i'm going to make a comic about how bad-ass i am on stripcreator now
i wish i had a sign that said "shutup" on it.

 

by silentbob
2-08-04
i m a plees ofasir
i am parate! RRRR!
do you wont 2 com ovr 4 oreos an milk!
yes i won 2 com ov 3 oreos milk!
ok? lits ride bixe
RRRR

 

by silentbob
2-08-04
shit luther! there's cum all over your pants!
goddamn! the swansons will be here any minute! what do we do?
i have an idea! we'll tell them you spilled soup all over your crotch!
Perfect! Shit, i'm so in love with you. Where would i be without you, gretta?
Probably knee-deep in a puddle of constant embarassment and squalor.
sheeeit!

 

by silentbob
2-08-04
...and the doctor said i didn't have to quit because it would be bad for the baby.
mm hmm.
Well, i see Terry's smoking's gotten worse
OH, i agree absolutely! I tell him all the time smoking can cause complications, but he just won't listen.
Smoking?? While PREGNANT??
It's true. You'd think after one baby missing a horn he'd take a fucking hint

 

by silentbob
1-04-06
You knew what this was...

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