All comics by starfinger

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by starfinger
1-14-04
at last we meet again, my old nemesis!
yes indeed, my ancient foe, and what better setting for our epic battle than this futuristic robot factory!
epic? aren't you just going to melt me?
hey that's a great idea!
oops

 

by starfinger
1-14-04
in a dark alleyway...
happy thanksgiving, turkey!
eek!
i'm uhh... ahhh.. i've got mad turkey disease!
ohh, then i guess you won't be wanting this box of Turkey Treats I got you. oh well
uhh, why not? this set up is pathetic. a mad turkey would want these just as much as any other turkey. sheesh.

 

by starfinger
1-14-04
Dear computer, does Billy like me? YES or NO
The answer is....
Oh!
Billy?!
Avast! No machine will ever betray my secrets!

 

by starfinger
1-14-04
Take me to your leader!
Uhh.. he's over there.
Shortly thereafter...
Take me to your leader!
Uhh.. he's over there.
Finally!
Are you the leader???
I'm Santa Claus you idiot!

 

by starfinger
1-14-04
I have wandered all over this planet, looking for its leader. Will nobody help me!
Their moon has also brought me no answers. Alas, I am truly a failure.
Stop dancing, Stooley. We must find somewhere else for this year's Transgalactic Partyfest.
Crap on a croissant!

 

by starfinger
1-14-04
knock knock
who's out there dag blammit!
Hello, I'm Clumpy! I was wondering if we could have this year's Transgalactic Partyfest here this year?
Uh, who.. ha... wha??
I take that as a yes! Stooley, we're in!
oychee cranko!

 

by starfinger
1-14-04
Back on the ship...
So, the Transgalactic Partyfest is going to happen! Stooley, I could kiss you!
Turkey on a tulip! Terrifico!
Let's see.. make sure the Titanium Testicles of Tetra-4 are still going to play... Doublecheck that onion dip shipment.. and hey, don't forget to invite your dear old bitch!
Check, checky and check-o-rama!
Oh no! We're receiving a message from HQ. The Great Queen Shabooboo is planning on attending!
Dung on a donut!

 

by starfinger
1-14-04
Party time!
This party is like so totally lame. This onion dip is like so totally processed. And these testicles suck!
Queen Shabooboo is going to have me executed. There's only one thing to do!
Freedom!
Stooley, get to the ship. We're blowing this noodle factory!
Word!

 

by starfinger
1-14-04
Alert! The Queen has been murdered. Beep boop!
Woah!
Stooley, initiate Tubular Inducer! Fire up the retrogrades. Get me a Twix bar, and turn off that damn Yanni CD!
You got it, studmuffin!
Who's gonna clean up this mess??
Adios Turdsville!

 

by starfinger
1-16-04
And so, without further ado, I bring you the Hades All-stars!
Who let the dogs out?!
Mmmm bop!
Make it stop! Make it stop!

 

by starfinger
1-16-04
High five bro!
Uhh... I'm a girl.. And where's your body??? You're weird!!
Woah bizznotch, Talk to the hand!
I am!
Touche

 

by starfinger
1-16-04
Woah baby, aren't you cold??
I'm freezing my buttocks off!
Well, if they fall off, can I have them?

 

by starfinger
1-16-04
Hello, I was wondering if you'd be interested in buying some encyclopedias?
Squeakk!
Squakk Squeakk?
Why, I never!
Dolphins can be so sensitive.

 

by starfinger
1-16-04
Today is my absolute favorite day of the year... Viking Appreciation Day!
Son, are you sure you don't want to come with me to the Viking Festival?
But dad, you know how I loathe going out in public, with this disgusting skin problem of mine. Besides, it's Christmas!
Your loss, ya little booger! Shores in Flames!
Don't you want to open my present first? It's a travel mug.

 

by starfinger
1-16-04
Back at the lab...
In my quest to become the premier Mad Scientist of our time, I have decided that I am not mad enough.
Well friend, perhaps if you didn't dedicate your evil ways to combating us Amish, you could pick a truly infuriating enemy.
Do you have any suggestions?
Have you considered the French?
I'm half French, you Amish pig-dog!
I'm going to go take a dump.

 

by starfinger
1-19-04
Ouch, this desert sun is scalding my bald head!
Ho ho ho. You humans are so endearing. I guess not everyone can be as smart as a dinosaur wearing a hat!
A hat you say? By Jiminy Crispers, you may be on to something here.
Jiminy Crispers? That was my uncle's name!
Hey really.. wow.. small world.. yeah anyway.. tell me, what size hat is that anyway?
Nice try, monkeyboy, but find your own damn hat!

Toodles!

 

by starfinger
1-19-04
I pledge allegiance to... your mama!
Now class, whoever said that is going to get the living crap beat out of them!
I said it, Mrs. Hoebag! Rock-and-roll!
Where did I put that cattle prod...
This is gonna be tubular!

 

by starfinger
1-20-04
Well, I guess this is where we say goodbye.
I'm gonna miss you, you cold heartless witch.
*sniff*
*burp*
*fart*
this lady really has it all.

 

by starfinger
1-20-04
As the King of Sweden, I officially dub thee Sir Buttercups!
OK bucko, so you are a king impersonator AND a cop insulter. You're going away for a long time pal!
I officially pardon myself! So there!
drat!
I say, what are you writing there anyway?
It's a cute picture of a cat wearing lipstick.

 

by starfinger
1-20-04
Woah there pardner, you know you can't bring firearms into the town!
What this old thing? It's actually a hair dryer.
Ya don't say... You know it's been ages since I felt the luxuriant warmth of a hair dryer blowing against my withered and lonely scalp.
Prarie nights are long and harsh indeed.
I'm going to buy a hair dryer right now!
Mental note: shoot first and ask questions later.

 

by starfinger
1-20-04
o/` Oh Don't Go Smoking in Bed... o/`
o/` Cause burnin' down your house is stoo-ped! o/`
Nice butt!

 

by starfinger
1-21-04
I was sent here to kill you, but that look in your eyes... I think I am in love!
I wish you had made this realization BEFORE YOU CUT MY LEGS OFF!
Yes, yes, my sweet, scaly love. How can I ever make it up to you?
Dude, what do you think you're going to get out of this relationship. You're starting to freak me out.
After mustering one final flame-infused breath...
Aaahhhhh!
I miss my legs.

 

by starfinger
1-21-04
I'm so locked up, but I don't like it. Weird!
Nipples McGillicuty, I presume? I'm here to rescue you!
My knight in shining armor! -- Figuratively speaking, of course!
Crap on your birthday! My foot is stuck in the bars!
Come on you sassy little slut you! Wooooh
Well, this sucks.

 

by starfinger
1-22-04
I've missed you so much, Butch!
Pipe down you squeaky nutcase. If the other guys see me over here, they're going to kick me out of the gang.
Why must you always treat me like a second class mammal-fish. It hurts, ya big palooka.
Don't you see, this is dangerous business. We could be excommunicated from the sea!
Aren't we more important than that?? All we really need is love!
I need a sandwich.

 

by starfinger
1-22-04
Would you like to play a game?
Must... eat... computer...
Woah fella.. you don't want to eat me! I'm your gateway to the information superhighway!
Tell... me... more....
Computers around the world are connected in a big glorious network! You can do things like talk to foreigners about the new Britney Spears album, or see videos of hairy women having sex with poultry!
Plug me in, coach!

 

by starfinger
1-22-04
Am I... dead?
Yes.. come with me!
Up up and away!
Where are we going??
Patience!
Finally...
Welcome to Heavenly Hank's, can I take your order?
Two junior angelburgers and whatever my dead friend here is having!

 

by starfinger
1-22-04
Blue wizard needs food badly... ooh, a sheep!
Don't even think it bub!
What? I was just going to ask you where there was a 7-11 around here. heh heh heh.
OH... really?
Ala-ka-lambchop!

 

by starfinger
1-22-04
My name is Cthulu. Is your mother home?
Sure, I'll get her.
cute kid...
Hey there, Sweet Noodles!
You left your purse in the backseat of the squid-mobile *wink* *wink*

 

by starfinger
1-23-04
knock knock
What manner of wood is this that attempts to speak!
Uh.. hello. It's me Fred.. on the other side of the door.. Let me in!
Damn you beast! What have you done to Fred!

 

by starfinger
1-26-04
Yoo hoo! I'm over here you stupid sheep! Ole?
I have officially hit rock bottom.
Let's go get some tacos.
OK

 

by starfinger
1-27-04
Egad! The nuclear radiation has caused the local squirrel community to mutate into giant killing machines. Luckily, they also developed the self-respect to put on some pants.
A bewildering chase ensued..
Come back here you humanoid chum gargler!
I say, these squirrels are unnaturally clever as well!
After much running..
Phew! I made it! He'll never get through this squirrel-proof door.
Tickled I am at your shiny baldness. Welcome indeed to my love hutch.

 

by starfinger
1-27-04
Uh.. hello. Does this establishment have a back door I can use?
I thought you'd never ask!
Meanwhile, upstairs..
Yo, Bunny! Are you gonna come back up here or what??
Aye carumba! Look at the time!
Why must everyone toy with my heart.

 

by starfinger
1-27-04
The door opened with a flash!
Remember me!
Fiddlesticks!
Run my sweet, sweet Baldy, I'll stop this furry wanker!
Wha???
Hey this axe is fake!
By all that is holy, I must return to the Time Wagon!

 

by starfinger
1-27-04
Back on the Time Wagon..
Boy, these earth posters really make this feel like a space ship.
They sure do, Doc!
Initiate digital time-leaping circuits, Wembely!
You got it, Doc!
OH the sweet smell of our past present becoming our immediate future once more!
Whatever you say, Doc!

 

by starfinger
4-26-04
This game is fartacular!
Hey, look at this big bed.
Jump you bastard!! JUMP!
Oh dear, it seems to be getting hot in here. I'm so hot, aren't you Curly?
Yeah, this is the second fire level. It sucks.
I'm gonna go sell my body on the street.

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