All comics by torridloveaffair

Profile

 

Meet Clarence and his pet Wainright the beetle.
Hi. My name is Clarence and I have hair. I like my hair.
meerple.
See Clarence do his voodoo loooorrve dance.
I like to dance my crazy dance of voo doo looorrrve. It gets me ladies.
meerple.
See Clarence f*** it up.
Ah crap.
meerple. (translation: Clarence is a twat.)

 

Ezekiel the Esdfmsnduwe decides to wreak havok on the next thing that moves. Much to his dismay, he is out of practice.
I have come to eat your...Why the f*** are you wearing a speedo?
roof.
Ezekiel the Esdfmsnduwe gets frustrated, so he moves on.
Wow you're an ugly girl. FEAR ME!
*blinks*
Ezekiel the Esdfmsnduwe decides it best to go into hiding once more. But not before burning the stupid dog and the ugly girl.
I feel better.

 

Enter Peter, already hitting on the dead crackwhore he finds dumped in the forest.
Hey baby, how'd you like to come back to my place?
And then he takes her, shortly thereafter he hears sirens.
Or we could just do it here, much like we just did...OH SHIT! Cops again!
Busted like an old lady's hip.
I'm in trouble, aren't I? I swear it was consensual!
Shutdefuckup.

 

Felipe checks the mail.
Oh it's a letter from my girlfriend.
"Dear Felipe: Die."
Lacking a will of his own, Felipe sees no way out.
I always was her bitch.
I always was a bumblebee.

 

Krissy has a question for Father McFeely.
Hmmm. I have something to ask you, it's kind of, um, "Off Color."
Ask anything, my child.
Is staying in bed on a Sunday and screaming "OH GOD!" appropriate worship?
.....
Her aspirations at christianity are dashed.
Unfortunatley, no.

 

On her way to school, Louisa Legs spots an evil villain. Action insues.
WATTAAAA!
What are you doing?!
Dialogue.
I said, WATTAAAA!
I'm harmless. You can put your leg down, bitch.
Actually, no I can't.
I can see your lady things.

 
You're gay, aren't you?

 

Hi there, My name is Kurt Cobain, and this is my baby daughter, Frances. I hired a hitman to rid myself of her mother, Courtney Love.
goo gaa.
Courtney returns out of nowhere, suprising Kurt, stabbing him with an injection of heroin, and then shooting him.
I figured it would be better than having another repeat of the Rome incident. Oh how weird it is to read letters that you thought would be your last. Wait a minute, what's that noise?
Aha! Thought you could kill me! Now I kill you! AAh! *stabs*
Bitch.
Oh look baby! Here is a place Mommy will never go because I fixed Daddy's letter and wiped the gun clean. No one will ever know it was me!

 

Ezekiel the Esdfmsnduwe comes out of hiding, to encounter another girl.
*cough*
*burp*

 

Clarence, upon fixing himself from his last dance attempt, ventures out onto the street.
Who are you and why are you in my trash can?
Felipe. And because I fail at everything. No Ladies for me.
Then do my Voodoo Dance of Looorrve!
I think I'll stick with this can.
Aah shit. Not again.

 

This is my pet squirrell, Nippy. I love squirrells.
Andy, I'm pregnant. And you're the daddy.
*blinks*
Nevermind. I hate squirrells.

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