All comics by xada

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by xada
5-04-04
I really hate this job. No dental benefits, lousy hours. I mean what's the point?
I never get any time to myself. Should I keep going?
Butch never understood why the people with the best jobs complained the most about them
Maybe mom was right. I should've been a vet...

 

by xada
5-04-04
Look at that bird.
Trapped in a cage for the entertainment of others. Forever being gawked at for it's beauty.
... Some people have all the luck.
Tweet?

 

by xada
5-04-04
I've done a lot of bad things in my life: maim, murder, torture...will I go to hell?
Bwahahaha!
Who are you?
I watch the gates of hell, and I wanted to ask you something.
Do you prefer pure brimstone, or will an equally hot substitue suffice?

 

by xada
5-04-04
Just another day at the office...
So, nice day, eh?
Yeah, it's okay.
You gettin' out early?
Naw, man. I gotta stay late for the metorite business, you know? If I don't, it'l be the end of all of us.
Famous last words
Oh come on! What's playing work hooky once gonna hurt?
You know what? You're right. Nothing could go wrong.

 

by xada
5-04-04
I've found a way to make people sponatneously combust!
You can't. That's impossible.
Oh no?
Eeeeep!
How now, brown cow?
Just shut up and get me some burn cream. A LOT of burn cream.

 

by xada
5-05-04
I am a cat who lived for one thousand years, but I don't understand some things.
Like, how is it stupid people still exist?
Or, how did Bush get elected?
Some things, I guess, I'll never have answers to.
But I still wish I knew the answer to the greatest question of all...
Why the hell does William Hung have fans?!

 

by xada
5-08-04
For many years, I was a god amongst men.
Everyone adored me, worshipped me, praised me! I was all mighty and powerful! No one stood in my way! But then, I met Susy, and feel in love. I gave up my powers to be with her. She ran off with Joe.
Bow before me!
YES MASTER!!
I gave everything up for a hoe...I still can't believe it.
Uh huh, but I'm still giving you a ticket.

 

by xada
5-14-04
Tiffany said to "talk to the hand" before butch killed her.
blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Now he was tired of the constant chatter.
blah blah blah

 

by xada
5-14-04
Hey! You must be the new nurse!
Yep!
Let's start with a small test of knowledge first. Hand me the scalpel.
.....
The sharp, pointy thing.
Oh...right!

 

by xada
5-14-04
....
*sigh*
Butch always loved the melancholy. They were easy pickin's!
....

 

by xada
5-14-04
Sounds like the mail's here.
Hey! A letter!
"Dear Mr. Edmunds, we regret to inform you that your HMO will not cover a lobotomy."
Crap. What do I do now?
Hmm.....
Oh yeah! That hits the spot!

 

by xada
5-14-04
Hey.
Er...hi.
Are you a lesbian? I saw you kissing a girl the other day.
Well, I like both guys and girls, as well as the occassional robot. Why?
You wanna go have hot, steamy sex?
Hell yes!

 

by xada
5-14-04
Look, sweetie, I've loved the time we've spent together, but...
Go ahead and say what you wanted to say. It's okay. I'm mature.
It just seems like you only want me for sex. I think we should slow down.
....
You don't love me anymore.

 

by xada
5-14-04
I *do* love you. That's why we need less sex and more talking. Okay?
Okay, I guess.
So, let's discuss our feelings. How do you feel right now?
Um....
Horny!

 

by xada
5-14-04
Let's play a game!
Okay.
All right! How about Uno? Parcheezi? Scrabble? Poker? Guess Who? Chutes and Ladders? Blackjack?
No...I'm thinking of something to do, but it's not any of those...
Have sex?
That one! That's the one!

 

by xada
5-14-04
Sweetheart, if you're not going to work with me here, this relationship is over.
I'm sorry. Please help me. I'm addicted to sex.
Hey, of course I'll help! Has this ever happened in your other relationships?
No, not really.
Oh?
Yeah. Usually I fuck the other girl until she dies in a pool of her own fluids. You're the first to tell me to stop.

 

by xada
5-14-04
Dear God!
Yeah, I know.
....We can never have sex ever again.
Come on. I promise I'll stop this time. I'll change and you won't die. Give me another shot.
One hour later...
Crap.

 

by xada
5-14-04
Hello, doctor. How is she?
She's stable, finally. May I ask you a few questions?
Shoot.
How did that dildo get lodged so far up her anus, for one.
There's actually a funny story behind that...
Does it explain how she held all that fluid in her body?

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