All comics by xenogamy

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by xenogamy
11-14-02
WELL, HERE I AM OFF TO WORK
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, MISTER
YES??
I'M LEROY, AND I'LL BE ROBBING YOU TODAY! NOW, SHOULD I CLUB YOU OR ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE UP YOUR WALLET WITHOUT ANY FIGHT
I HAVE A BETTER IDEA!! HOW ABOUT WE SMOKE A BLUNT!!
...YOU REALLY KNOW A NIGGER'S WEAK SPOT DON'T YOU

 

by xenogamy
11-14-02
Wanna go out?
...
?
...
YOU'RE NEW AT THIS, AREN'T YOU

 

by xenogamy
11-14-02
People ask me why I wear a racing shirt all the time.
It's not because it's a fashion statement, or to show off.
I'm not a professional runner...
...I don't worship racing heroes or anyone like that...
....But it gives me luck when I'm runnin' from the 5-0!!!!

 

by xenogamy
11-14-02
Grr
Grr
THIS IS THE WORST MALE ESCORT EVER

 

by xenogamy
11-14-02
KILL ALL HUMANS
Hmm.. I wonder if I put my lego set together right..
KILL ALL HUMANS
...yeah, did that part right...
KILL ALL HUMANS

 

by xenogamy
11-14-02
baaa
Why, look at this fine specimen! It is a dream come true!
baaa
So, you, uhhh, come here often?
baaaaa
Ohh, hell yeah! Someone's getting FUCKED tonight!!

 

by xenogamy
11-14-02
I AM TOO FAT FOR WORDS
I'M JUST BIG AND FAT AND HUGE
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE DON'T RUN AWAY FROM MY HUGE FATNESS
MY ENORMOUS GUT IS DISGUSTING
I HATE THE WAY I LOOK!! THIS IS AWFUL!!
GOODBYE TO ALL MY ONLINE FRIENDS FOREVER

 

by xenogamy
11-14-02
WHORING MYSELF OUT FOR QUARTERS HERE (NEED CRACK/HEROIN)
SERIOUSLY I'LL SUCK YOUR DICK FOR LIKE FIFTY CENTS.
A FUCK IS ONLY A DOLLAR, I SERIOUSLY NEED COCAI-- OH SHIT
How much for anal fisting?? Wait a second, you're a woman!! YOU'RE UNDER ARREST

 

by xenogamy
11-14-02
Braaaiinnnsss
Now, where have I seen you before?
BRAAIINNSSS
Oh, yeah... I killed you last Tuesday!
AND I'LL DO IT AGAIN TOO

 

by xenogamy
11-14-02
YOU KIDS TODAY AND YOUR FANCY TOYS AND TVS
IN MY DAY ALL WE HAD TO ENTERTAIN OURSELVES WAS OUR COCKS AND OUR HANDS
AND WE LIKED IT
SUCK MY DICK OLD MAN

 

by xenogamy
11-14-02
Well, I sure do feel like a fine man about town today!
In fact, I think I'll have some fun!
You there! Come over here!
....?
What's your going rate?
Sorry, I don't fuck TOTAL DORKS

 

by xenogamy
11-14-02
I'M A COMPLETE FUCKHEAD
I'M TOO STUPID TO LIVE

 

by xenogamy
11-14-02
Welcome to the THIRTEENTH EPISODE SPECTACULAR!!
TAKE OFF YOUR TOP
This is where we celebrate episode #13, because it's a fun number.
TAKE OFF YOUR TOP
Well, we're out of panels! Goodbye!
TAKE OFF YOUR TOP

 

by xenogamy
11-14-02
Come on, phone, ring!! Ring ring ring!!
Why won't you ring??? Come on, ring!!!
Five minutes later..
...I disconnected his phone.

 

by xenogamy
11-14-02
Newton's first law of motion states that objects in motion tend to stay in motion...
whereas objects at rest tend to stay at rest...
unless acted upon by an OH GOD HELP ME

 

by xenogamy
11-14-02
You there! Place your mouth on my penis this instant!
..?
I am CLOSING MY EYES, and when I open them, I had better see your lips wrapped around my lovemuscle!
..?
Oh, whoops. I keep forgetting that I'm not a man.

 

by xenogamy
11-14-02
"Dear Sir or Madam, it is my regret to inform you that your grandmother or grandfather has passed away...
...please send a check for $10,000 to the return address on the envelope to cover the expenses of his or her funeral. Thank you."
........BUT I LIVE WITH MY GRANDPARENTS

 

by xenogamy
11-14-02
Hey, man, NEWSFLASH! The grunge trend ended like SEVEN YEARS AGO.
...
Oh, yeah, and the DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS DORK look is REALLY "IN" RIGHT NOW, I BET.

 

by xenogamy
11-14-02
Yeee-haw!! The life of a cowboy is never boring!!
Moo.
First I'm-a gonna go drinkin', then I'm-a gonna go dancin'...
Moo.
Then I'm-a gonna settle down and have sex with m'cow all night!
Moo?

 

by xenogamy
11-14-02
Welcome to Washington D.C.! I'm Sheri, I'll be your tour guide for today!
Now, before we get started, are there any questions??
Yeah, I have one.
What?
CAN I USE YOUR CHIN AS A RESTING PLACE FOR MY NUTS?

 

by xenogamy
11-14-02
Ho ho ho!!
DUDE IT'S NOT CHRISTMAS GO THE FUCK AWAY
Ho ho ho!!
leave me in peace with my bottle and broken dreams
Ho ho ho!!
FINALLY YOU GOT MY WISH LIST!! COME HERE YOU

 

by xenogamy
11-14-02
DOCTOR, I'VE BEEN LIVING A LIE. CAN YOU MAKE ME IN TO A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
I'll see what I can do...
....WELL THIS ISN'T WHAT I EXPECTED
That will be $5000 or five hundred blowjobs, please.

 

by xenogamy
11-14-02
Can I have sex with you NOW??
No.

 

by xenogamy
11-14-02
You can tell the papers my last words were "I FUCKING HATE KIDS"

 

by xenogamy
11-16-02
SEIG!!
HEIL!!
SEIG!!
HEIL!!
SEIG!!
CAN WE JUST KILL THE JEWS ALREADY

 

by xenogamy
11-16-02
"we are pleased to inform you that due to a recent war we have decided to draft you."
WELL THAT SUCKS
IS THERE PORN IN THE ARMY

 

by xenogamy
11-16-02
Jesus, I was anally raped for the third time this week? Am I being punished? What am I doing wrong?
I mean, I try to be a good man but I just keep getting raped! What do I do?
Dude, just consent you big fat faggot. Then it's not rape.

 

by xenogamy
11-17-02
DUDE WHY AM I HERE I NEED TO STUDY FOR A PHYSICS TEST
I dunno, man.
WHAT WAS THE IDEA FOR THIS CAMPING TRIP, ANYWAY
Uhh...
I'm going to suck your dick, mister.

 

by xenogamy
11-17-02
HEY BOP-A-REE-BOP
I DO DECLARE
I'M GOING TO SUCK YOUR DICK AND SUCK IT GOOD MISTER
YOU WILL BE IN TEARS, I ASSURE YOU, SIR.
I'M PRETTY MUCH THE BEST THERE EVER WAS.
CAN YOU STOP TALKING ABOUT HOW GOOD YOU ARE AT IT AND GET SUCKIN' ALREADYu

 

by xenogamy
11-17-02
My lego woman!! Finally she is complete!!
Wanna go out?
No

 

by xenogamy
11-17-02
Oh, joy! A small girl to wreak havoc upon!
Little girl, would you like to come with me?
....I'M A GUY

 

by xenogamy
11-17-02
blheblhelbh
hglegleh
blehblelehbleh
lehglheglhg
bhelbhlehbleb
BITCHEZ AINT SHIT

 

by xenogamy
11-17-02
Mmmm... sandwich...
I am SO going to eat this...
Then I'm going to maybe make another...
and eat that one too...
Then I'll go to bed...
And cry my sad lifeless ass to sleep.

 

by xenogamy
11-17-02
I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE AND I BRING YOU..... *FIRE*
I'M THE GOD OF DEATHGAMES AND I BRING YOU...... *CHESS*
I'M THE GOD OF DORKS AND I'M ABOUT TO SUCK THIS GUY'S DICK
DAMN RIGHT YOU ARE

 

by xenogamy
11-17-02
Yo baby, I'm gonna make sweet love to you 'till you can't take it no more.
Then, I'm gonna do it some more. Baby, I'm gonna make this night stand out in yo brain forEVER.
It's my DUTY to please dat BOOTY.
....WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE

 

by xenogamy
11-18-02
EXCUSE ME, BUT WHERE ARE THE GLORYHOLES
BEEP BOOP BLIP
I REALLY REALLY REALLY NEED TO KNOW WHERE THEY ARE.
BOP BLING BLOOP
THAT'S IT, I'M SUCKING YOU OFF RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.
ZZZZING!!

 

by xenogamy
11-18-02
/join #0!!!!!!!ltlgirlsexchat
Sexy and Friendly FANTASY CHAT Channel for YOUNG GIRLS and those that love them!!! No snuff, torture, rape, force, extreme, mom/son channels. No trading, invites, on-joins or spam.
[Jen0013] ne hot guyz??
[hotlustyman69] wut r u wearing
[Jen0013] bra and panties
[hotlustyman69] kewl

 

by xenogamy
11-18-02
hi
Hi!
My dreams come true!! A small girl, ringing my doorbell, no doubt wanting to engage in wild copulation!
Do you want to buy cookies?? Cuz I need to sell fifty boxes by tomorrow or else they take away my hous---
NO. GO AWAY.

 

by xenogamy
11-18-02
Poopie head!
Doo-doo brain!!
Pee-pee mouth!!
Weiner leg!!
Stupidy stupid head!!
COCKSMOKING FAGGOT

 

by xenogamy
11-18-02
*poke*
OW
WHY DID YOU POKE ME??
...BECAUSE I WANT TO SUCK YOUR DICK

 

by xenogamy
11-18-02
Okay, I'm serious this time!! As of today, NO MORE JERKING OFF.
....
Alright, as of TOMORROW.

 

by xenogamy
11-18-02
IF I HAD A HAMMERRR
I WOULD HAMMER IN THE MORNNINNGGG
I WOULD HAMMER IN THE EVENNINNGGG
AND I WOULD HAMMER MY NUTS IN

 

by xenogamy
11-18-02
CLETUS, I'M LEAVING THE FARM
Aww, come on, why??
WELL, NOT ONLY DO YOU NEGLECT TO FEED ME MOST OF THE TIME...
Yeah?
YOU'RE ALSO *WAY* TOO BIG FOR ME AND SEEM TO IGNORE THAT FACT.
...yee-haw!

 

by xenogamy
11-18-02
Pardon me, good sir! Do you have the time??
Grr
Must kill him... but I can't think of a better line than "Time to die!!", and that's kind of cliche...
I asked you a question!!
Time to stab you in the eyes until I can reach in to your eye sockets and eat your brain!!

 

by xenogamy
11-18-02
Convert to Christianity!!
OKAY
Convert to Christianity!!
OKAY
Convert to Christianity!!
...IS THAT THE ONE THAT ALLOWS CHILD PORN OR WHAT

 

by xenogamy
11-18-02
angst. my life is meaningless.
my only solace is the sweet, cold, embrace of death.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I PAY TO SEE THESE THINGS ANYMORE
misery, misery, woe.

 

by xenogamy
11-18-02
I'M GOING TO LEARN TO PLAY THE GUITAR
WHY
SO I CAN WRITE MEANINGFUL MELODIES
WHY
YOU'RE OFFICIALLY DEMOTED TO "OFFICIAL SEMEN SWABBER," PRIVATE.

 

by xenogamy
11-18-02
*PUNCH*
HEY HEY HEY
WHAT
I SPECIFICALLY TOLD YOU *NO DONKEYPUNCHES*
*PUNCH*
STOP THAT YOU!

 

by xenogamy
11-18-02
HEY HEY
WHAT IS GOING ON *MY MAN*
I GOT THIS BOTTLE HERE
WHAT'S IN IT??
...CUM

 

by xenogamy
11-18-02
FOR THE 50TH EPISODE, I, THE AUTHOR, WILL TALK TO YOU FINE FOLKS.
OKAY PEOPLE, I STARTED DOING THIS COMIC FOUR WHOLE DAYS AGO AND I STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN LAID
SERIOUSLY HOW FUNNY DO I HAVE TO BE TO GET SOME AROUND HERE
WELL, MAYBE IT'LL HAPPEN BY THE 100TH EPSIODE, BUT I'M NOT COUNTING ON IT.

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