All comics by Ekpyro

 

by Ekpyro
7-19-03
Ahri tries his luck for once...
Fuck, that girls fit...she'd never go for me. But wait a minute! I am reality!
Maybe some theories that were de-bunked by superior minds *do* actually pan out in the end...
Cudos! You make a good arguÉment. Going bullimic is a small price to pay to be graced by the presence of a mind such as yours Ahri.
Ahriman: 0wn0r of Realiteh...
< Ahri! Your dinner's getting cold. By the way, it's Thursday.....
Bastard, misleading, bastard, fucking sadistic, bastard, cunting, bastard, deceptive, shitbreeding dream.....

 

by Ekpyro
7-19-03
Joey and Chandler discuss male gender-rôles....
Oh, a couple of nurses asked them out. Maybe they're with them.
Really? Male nurses?
Yeah, I was bummed too.

 

by Ekpyro
7-21-03
Some dodgy forums somewhere....
Hmmm..a serious & delicate topic on which i have no extent of information or coherent, reasoned thoughts..must contribute!...But what to do?
I know, i'll just pick holes in some of the other, less bright participants' arguments.
I bet you thought this might actually be interesting, didn't you?
Where the fuck's my chair?

 

by Ekpyro
7-22-03
Let Me Introduce You to a P.C. Staple: James Hetfield-Style Off-hand Sweeping Statements...
Nazism...Baaaad
(I is teh Genius)
How are you defining Bad? If you mean ineffective then apart from their war efforts i'd have to disagree with you.
And if you mean morally bad then you imply that we share a common moral code on which to judge Nazism and i -
...Which come with handy all-purpose counterpoints. :/
Nazi!

 

by Ekpyro
7-22-03
Of course, this is nothing new. 'Common People' have been doing it for a long time...
Homosexuality...Baad
Surely no one gives a shit about what Christians think these days, right? And apart from passages in the Bible, who's to say gay sex is wrong? I mean you have sex for pleasure all the time right?
I mean, outside of Christianity, what's to say it's wrong? They aren't hurting anybody right? What's the difference between casual sex on a Saturday night with some bird and two blokes going at it?
Conclusion: P.C. borrows from Sun-Readers :rolleyes:
Focken poof!

 

by Ekpyro
7-24-03
Although i do agree with some political corrections...
Perving.
Window-Shopping
Wanker.
Tissue-Fertiliser
Israel.
Evil, Sadistic Bloody Squatter-Bastard Fuckers

 

by Ekpyro
7-24-03
A Forty-Something Swartzenegger Reappears for the Third Terminator Film
Where is she?
Look, it's gonna be awhile. You wanna wait. There's a bench.
*Crick!*
*Agh!* My bahck!

 

by Ekpyro
7-24-03
You could have this band, right? And they could do left-wing political songs, kay? *But* the lyrics would all be anagrams of songs with right-wing sentiments!
...
You know 'Eight Simple Rules (for Dating My Teenage Daughter)'? It should be called 'Three Simple Jokes (for Making a Disney Comedy)'
...
So you're going to 'up-set' one relationship to 'set-up' another one? (Heehee)
What a nob.

 

by Ekpyro
7-24-03
Hey, cool are you one of those Baboon monkeys?
No, actually I'm Bubbles: Michael Jackson's chimpanzee
Oh shit, man. Sorry. I - I didn't know. I just saw the red -
Don't worry. I'm used to it.

 

by Ekpyro
7-24-03
Hello Ekpyros. I'm you from the future...with a warning: Stop doing weed!
Why? There's fuck all else to do...
Cos you'll smoke too much and have a psychotic episode and end up thinking you're having conversations with past versions of yourself
Yeah and it looks like i turn into a fat cunt too
Hoi! Whose delusion is this?...Stupid fucking skinhead

 

by Ekpyro
7-27-03
The embargoe on of Cuba is plain juztifyed; samesome is or liberization off of Iraqistan.
yor contry suer is qaint - werever it is - problem is, yor so gosh-darn libral it's scaresome; just take yor ministary of industory for instanse, cloged up with labor trade union leags.
The wife and me like to lissen to original copys of instrumental songs taped live in random order on CD-disc wen we're alone together it's nearly exactly moer perfect that way.

 

by Ekpyro
7-27-03
are we superior to all races? or just black people?
all
why do Chinese and Native Americans score higher in IQ tests?
....
cos ther forn lil bastards

 

by Ekpyro
7-28-03
Woah! Dude. Have you noticed using the stranger characters with this background looks like an acid trip?
Shut the fuck up, Budweiser-drinker
Couldn't even bring myself to do this bit.
Some bollox about arse-raping and Robot spelt backwards
Pirates of the Carribean should've been rated Arrrrr!
Fagget!
Nigger!

 

by Ekpyro
7-31-03
Hey, it's National Orgasm Day, would you like me to -
Euch - Don't even - Just - Euch
Hey, it's National Orgasm Day, would you like me to -
Fuck off!
Harrassment, my arse.
Hey, it's National Orgasm Day, would you like me to -
Look, lie back on the bunk, raise your legs, and shut up, bitch.

 

by Ekpyro
7-31-03
I get up...
Eventually
I go on the comp
Oh yeah, these comics have 3 panels, don't they.

 

by Ekpyro
8-01-03
Those British soldiers who gave their lives in Iraq were brave.
Is 'American friendly fire' reiteration?
What, you mean the ones who died by accident in American 'friendly fire'?
Yes.
The same way that those men who deliberately crashed the planes they were flying into a few thousand tons of steel and certain death for their beliefs are cowards?
Naz-Erm...Terrorist!

 

by Ekpyro
8-01-03
http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/koen/164608
God, i'm so drunk.
Oh look, an undersexed Dutch guy, i'll have some fun with him.
Koen Begrijpt Niks over Vrouwen
Hey, you look like Terminator, you never smile.
Deze chickie wilt me neuken, duidelijk!

 

by Ekpyro
8-01-03
hhttp://www.stripcreator.com/comics/koen/164613
I think dat girl wants me, Ekpyro
Then why did she walk off?
You are just jealous. She comparred me to a shelabrity.
Just cos you sulk all the time. Silly Dutchie
Hij is jaloers van m'n skillz met de vrouwen, arme Ekpyro
Damn, i wish i was that delusional about what women think of me

 

by Ekpyro
8-04-03
Mother: Why don't you go out on your bike?
Cos it's bust.
Mother: Well, take it down to be fixed then.
The place is in town and they won't take bikes on the bus and the bike itself is too knackered to cycle all the way to town.
Two days later, without fail...
Mother: Why don't you go out on your bike?
Cos it's bust...

 

by Ekpyro
8-07-03
Introducing Sauce O' Malice
There's stuff in between the things! There used to be only stuff in the bits!
Now there's more stuff than things!
....
You thought Dude Where's My Car was funny so shut up

 

by Ekpyro
8-13-03
You know the type...
Huy! Are you lookin' at my bird?
Hoi! You! You better not be looking at my bird
Hoi! Are *you* lookin' at my bird?

 

by Ekpyro
8-13-03
If I catch you lookin' at my missus again I'll -
Excuse me my friend, i couldn't help noticing your predicament, maybe I could offer a solution...
Several minutes later...
She's perfect, mate!

 

by Ekpyro
8-14-03
BBC's proflies of various countries...let's see...U.S.A.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/country_profiles/1217752.stm
'The US is the world's foremost economic and military power. It is also a major source of entertainment:'
LOL. Yus, certainly is. Could've worded that better.

 

by Ekpyro
9-23-03
Ahri pours his heart out to his fake-tan flame
You see..when it comes to women, it's not the hard-disk but the software on it that's important to me - see what i mean?
Wuh?
I'm saying, even though you are beautiful, it's your personality that matters to me.
Buh?
Hmm...maybe this whole thing was a big mistake
Kuh!

 

by Ekpyro
9-26-03
Introducing Rover 'Til I Die
I fancy a Chinese
Have the sweet and sour.
You'd have to eat the sweet first, to prevent bladder infection
Before the crisps...
No, like have the number 6 before the number 4 - are we on the same page here?
Chapter 7: Realising What's Important

 

by Ekpyro
9-26-03
Bitter Whinge?
Why do people bother commmenting anonymously on my comics when they're mostly in-jokes and the rest are incomprehensible to people who think Friends is ever intentionally funny?
Maybe they think you're an obnoxious aloof twat who needs to be put in his place.
Disclaimer?
Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willace?
...I mean, they're spineless retarded yanks - what do you expect?
Bollox?
Good point
\* Derogatory thought serving as punchline */

 

by Ekpyro
9-26-03
And I was like 'Duh!'
...
And she was like 'No way'
...
And I was like 'Juh-huh!' and she was so totally..
#Minty mints...Minty mints...Minty mints are your breath's friend#

 

by Ekpyro
9-26-03
Hmm...
Coming to a cinema near you: American Trash 2, The Cash-In
Ah...
Watch as some smiley bastard yanks puzzlingly only just discover the opposite sex at 18 and tackle such cultural taboos as homosexuality and poo jokes
I wonder if Boots stock cyanide
Average ticket price: £19.99 each at either of the two chains of inconcinnuplex cinemas nationwide.

 

by Ekpyro
9-28-03
I blame my inability
to write good comics on
the fact that these comics are limited
to three panels which is
opviously indicative of the
average complexity of a joke and level of
wit in the United States
of America. Shit: no space
to compare Israel to Nazi Germany.

 

by Ekpyro
9-29-03
I was thinking - considering how whiney, rambling and incoherent i am at the moment, imagine how i'm going to be when i'm senile
So, i think i'm going to retire in the U.S. so i can piss off Americans while only being semi-aware of it...
...
...So does David Dickinson know you're stalking his daughter?
Shut up, Ekpyros

 

by Ekpyro
9-30-03
Welcome to P.C. World
Hi, I'm White Guilt Man. Whenever there is danger I...
...apologise profusely for what people i may or may not have been related to did to Danger hundreds of years before either of us were born
and change its name to Dangerous-American, fabricate some Danger-centric sitcoms where Danger still ends up looking stupider than most people and hope everything sorts itself out.

 

by Ekpyro
9-30-03
I'm Blackman, I draw my power from White Guilt Man: In the eyes of P.C. World, I can do no wrong. The only thing that can stop me is my Arch-Nemesis, Socio-Economic Status....
Ha-ha! It may look like you've defeated me with your above average I.Q. of 108, but what if i put you....
...in The Projects! Mwahahaha etc.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

by Ekpyro
9-30-03
I crack myself up

 

by Ekpyro
9-30-03
New Labour - I Can't Believe It's Not Socialism
Better for your economy than any of the other leading brands of 'progressive' party.
S&M Smothering - It's Better than a Twat in the Face
This is so degrading.
Ahriman - Warning: Tactile when Saturated
Fuck off - that was years ago!

 

by Ekpyro
10-02-03
I'm not racist
I'm sure there are lots of agreeable Welsh people in the world
I just don't get the chance to meet any of them living here
N.B. Ahri: Sardony
...in the middle of Wales. :/

 

by Ekpyro
10-07-03
More political corrections i agree with:
Basketball
Colonial netball
Think i'm low on material?
World Series Baseball
Markedly Misnomered Regional Colonial Rounders
Who said i had material?
American English
Bastardised/Mutilated English

 

by Ekpyro
10-09-03
So here's a joke i thought up a few months ago:
Why did 'September the 11th' happen?
I don't know. Sometheen to do with Sudahm, dude?
No, because Americans are easy targets LOL

 

by Ekpyro
10-12-03
Stoner
There was something i was supposed to do....
Oh yes, buy food before the shops shut for the weekend so i don't starve - fuck that
Loner
There was something i was supposed to do....
Oh yes, grow up; start talking to people and try to make new friends - fuck that
Goner
There was something i was supposed to do....
Oh yes, have a life...

 

by Ekpyro
10-14-03
Scarpering:
More moral than abortion - *and* it's cheaper.
Ekpyros: Pragmatic when Drunk
Well, my name's not 50 Cent
Briss is Bliss
Just think of it as a Freudian Baptism

 

by Ekpyro
10-14-03
Damn...i'm banned from the forums
Where will i get attention from now?
Don't worry, son, we know you didn't topple the Empire State. Just wait till we catch the Arab/muslim from a country that dissents America who did this.
Damn. So close....

 

by Ekpyro
10-14-03
Damn...i'm banned from the forums
Where will i get attention from now?
Mummy! I fell on a nail! Ow-y, ow-y, ow-y!

 

by Ekpyro
10-16-03
First they took the out the politically incorrect content
Then they took the 'dick' out of 'that sucks dick'
And at some point they took the 'h' out of 'sitcom'
I mean - what's next?

 

by Ekpyro
10-16-03
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Stupid bints.

 

by Ekpyro
10-17-03
I could make good comics if i had some of that...what ju call it...
Talent?
No: Forethought

 

by Ekpyro
10-17-03
I could make good comics if i had some of that...what ju call it...
Mental stability?
No: Forethought

 

by Ekpyro
10-17-03
I could make good comics if i had some of that...what ju call it...
Originality?
No: Forethought

 

by Ekpyro
10-17-03
I could make good comics if i had some of that...what ju call it...
Variation?
No: Forethought

 

by Ekpyro
10-17-03
I could make good comics if i had some of that...what ju call it...
You were expecting, a twist maybe?
Long Term Memory?
I could go on like this all day...
No: Forethought

 

by Ekpyro
10-19-03
http://www.coca-cola.com, http://www.shell.com
International commerical sites end with .com
Nobshank
http://www.dutch-english-dictionary.us
American sites end with .us
http://www.home-office.gov.uk, http://www.barclay.fr
British sites end in .uk and French ones end in .fr
So what the fuck are they trying to say with www.white-house.gov?

 

by Ekpyro
10-19-03
Generation Zee
Anyone born after 1984 in the U.K. who have too much of a yank influence
I didin't gotten my driver's license on account of cuz I drinked too much Budweisers and had fell asleep, man
Pobl y Cwm
Greetings, Mazeltov, Fuck Israel/America, Vive la Revolution - you get the idea
Who's your doctor?/Hanging baskets.
How are you doing?/Pretty bloody good.
Might help if you spoke to people - fuckwit.

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