All comics by Humpenstein

Profile

 

by Humpenstein
8-16-05
The friendship that couldn't exist
...oh..hi..
Hi I'm Satan...you must be the new guy?
The questions that couldn't be answered
Well...uhhh...
So hows the weather up there?
PASSION OF THE CHRIST 2
So...whats your opinion of gay marriage?
Ya I get a nice breeze up here.

 

by Humpenstein
1-18-06
What do you mean size matters!
It's not that small...

 

Hey...fuck you!
Are you fucking kidding me, a talking bench?
by Humpenstein, 1-18-06

 

by Humpenstein
1-19-06
No more war!
Our plan is coming to fruition master.
This, is good.

 

by Humpenstein
1-21-06
“!sevlesmeht yb snotivarg etareneg annog t’nia senibrut meht ,lleW” ,syas I oS
ahah
What the fuck is he talking about?

 

by Humpenstein
1-22-06
Hrmm comments on Kaenash...
"pile of wank"..."you can stop acting like a cunt anytime now"... I wonder how he deals with the negative feedback.
They love you Kaenash...

 

by Humpenstein
1-22-06
I wonder what they say about me...
failure...idiot...moron...
successful...genius...brilliant...

 

Yes, that does beat scissors...
by Humpenstein, 1-24-06

 

by Humpenstein
1-25-06
Hey kid, tell me what you think of this water...
Dude you are trippin' right now!
Man that party rocked.

 

by Humpenstein
1-25-06
So have you heard of the mysterious axe murderer in these parts?
What was the question?

 

by Humpenstein
1-26-06
So then i said, "Hey i'm not fat!"
silence

 
by Humpenstein, 1-28-06

 

So you come here alot?
by Humpenstein, 2-01-06

 

by Humpenstein
2-01-06
Hey your frosty! Do a trick!
Come with me and i'll take you on a magical trip!
Are you sure that was the right thing to do Frosty?
Sure it was!
Now what do we do?
Relax...

 

by Humpenstein
2-14-06
So I've been trying to find myself a character...
One that represents me, and looks somewhat similar.
One that is unique, yet believable.
One that can be involved in many comical situations.
Perfect...

 

by Humpenstein
2-23-06
An event I've been waiting for for too long...
Hundreds of women competing to see who is the best!
What, the olympics?
No, girl scout cookie season!
Blow me.

 

by Humpenstein
2-27-06
I like witty comics.
Good for you.
I like the art.
...
I like the-
How about less talky, and more shut the fuck uppy.

 

by Humpenstein
3-06-06
Tonight, troubling footage proving that African Americans are the cause of all the crime.
Hello, how are you?
HE'S GOT A GUN!
Very troubling indeed...

 

by Humpenstein
3-09-06
Hey dude, my sister said you hung out at my house this weekend while I was out skating...
Hrmmmm
How are you doing Keith's sister?
mmMhmmMmm
...what were you guys doing?
I didn't go over to your house! WHY?!? Did your sister say I hung out at your house? Cuz if she did she lied!

 

by Humpenstein
3-16-06
The toys you requested are here sir.
Good! You're fired!

 

by Humpenstein
3-16-06
Hrmmmmmm
60 years later...
Do you think the mass-production of fairies was a bad idea?
Nah!

 

And I thought my birthday couldn't get any worse...
Ho ho ho?
by Humpenstein, 3-20-06

 

by Humpenstein
3-28-06
It must suck...
What?
to be such a douchebag...
...
I mean I really can't even imagine how horrible it must be...
I hate you...

 

by Humpenstein
3-28-06
Thou shalt not tell your parents.

 

by Humpenstein
4-03-06
So I'm thinking for this season we should try putting people into the house that are incompatable, really mixing things up.
That's a great idea, people would never expect us to do something like that, that would really cause some wacky situations.
Hi I'm a gay ex-taliban member.
Hi I'm a nationalistic redneck US army member, who hates anything that breathes and is brown.
Later that week...
So Mohammad ate my peanut butter yesterday, and didn't replace it. I mean, who does he think he is, Allah?
I know you didn't just say Allah!

 

I am a heavenly creature.
by Humpenstein, 4-06-06

 

by Humpenstein
4-08-06
So I was flippin' a bitch on my way home...
Then you put your hand back in the car and made a u-turn?
...
Beat ya' to it?

 

by Humpenstein
4-10-06
Hey look! I'm peeing on the Easter Bunny!
You must be fucking kidding me...this again...
Sorry, I was looking for eggs...with my piss...
This will be the last Easter you take from me!
Did I mention I can turn pee into blood?
...

 

by Humpenstein
4-13-06
You're under arrest!
Really? I thought HE was under arrest.
Oh yea, my mistake.
It's cuz I'm black huh?
No, It's because your name is Steve.

 

by Humpenstein
4-13-06
Rules are simple: Make a comic a little kid would like.
Grrrr I'm a dinosaur!
But you have teh coffee cup?!?
It helps me get up in teh morning.
But you are underwater! ROFLZ!

 

Gee Siren you look great!
Blub blub blub.
by Humpenstein, 4-17-06

 

by Humpenstein
4-20-06
No gay jokes.
Fag.
Wanna go listen to Abba?

 

by Humpenstein
4-25-06
He looked inside, at the man and at the pig, sharing drink and company...
he looked back and forth until he realized they were one in the same.

 

by Humpenstein
4-29-06
Oh no its a pirate!
Arg!!!!
What r u going to do mr pirate?
Im going to ransack your booty!
All i have is this rap-filled ipod though.
Don't worry, i'll show you how much i like to rap!

 

by Humpenstein
5-03-06
According to the latest polls concerning the church...
African Americans feel alienated by primarily white churches.
That's ridiculous, all are equal in the eyes of the lord.
Here for confession?

 

by Humpenstein
5-20-06
In other news, the Avian Flu's origins have been traced back to the Jews. In a press release the president had this to say...
Ein volk, ein reich, ein Führer!
In other news the government has asked that all Jews report to the nearest "Happy Camp" for cleansing...

 

by Humpenstein
5-30-06
I wonder what it would be like to be the first Black anchorman...
...
Maybe basketball would be a better idea.

 

by Humpenstein
6-04-06
The president is giving a speech in front of the whitehouse, we are coming to you live from in front of the capitol.
I'm gay...and Jewish.
Channel 3 News is currently having technical difficulties.

 

Most likely to succed eh?
by Humpenstein, 6-12-06

 

by Humpenstein
6-18-06
So what did you end up naming that dog you found the other day?
Fluffy.

 

by Humpenstein
7-07-06
Some hippies in california; all skuttled and skittled.
Are passing their peace pipes; their groins stay unfiddled.
One reaches for a pipe, but he stumbles and falls; the hippie he lands on screams,
"OH MY ACHIN' BALLS!"

 

Friends?
Friends.
by Humpenstein, 7-10-06

 

by Humpenstein
8-10-06
I told you not to touch it.

 

by Humpenstein
8-18-06
I love humpenstein.
Yea isn't he great?
I'm gonna go rate him bad now.
Yea, me too.

 

So where's Jake right now?
On a plane.
by Humpenstein, 8-20-06

 

by Humpenstein
8-20-06
Where are the mother fuckin' cakes on this mother fukin' plane?
Where! Are the FUCKin caKes on this muthafuggin....
...fuckin...cakes on a plane...
Freak!

 

by Humpenstein
8-21-06
So you use someone else's art, stupid unoriginal immature jokes, on some website you haven't yet donated to...
Your point?
Where do YOU, as a non-donating user come in?
Your mouth?

 

by Humpenstein
8-21-06
tag, your it!
i called no tagsies
give me all the money in the register!
i called no robsies
hi!
i called no chinese.

 

by Humpenstein
8-22-06
Sorry were not interested, were Jewish.

 

by Humpenstein
8-22-06
Wait, you don't understand.
Hey uhh, I'll be back in one second.
I just insulted you.
I suppose while I am waiting I can think of a very complex insult.

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