All comics by qbertsoul

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by qbertsoul
10-27-02
the one on the right is mr cozean, the one on the left is me
Comp sci is so boring
Back in the old days we had punch cards and if you didn't do something right you had to do it again and again...
I wonder how i can make it funny...
And remember with the case study the fish are going to swim back and forth, and then bump on the sides.
I see him as a dog becase I'm using my imagination
Hahahaha
So as I was saying it keeps track of bumps and, hey, can you keep it down?

 

by qbertsoul
10-27-02
The one on the left is timmy, the thing on the right is the computer
Computer, bring up cliff yablonski's page
COMPUTER PROCESSING...BEEP BEEP
i'm the white robot, ok
timmy, what are you doing?
i'm looking up the photo of mr. cozean i sent to cliff yablonski, ah here it is
The one on the left is Cliff and on the right is Cozean
Local drunk Kim Cozean gets arrested for exposing himself to children... for the 5th time. He used to be a teacher but nobody can really understand what he's saying anyways.

 

by qbertsoul
10-27-02
ok class, today we have a sub. his name is Borris Krauski Czar IV, he's our foreign exchange teacher from Russia. I'm off now so you won't see me in the next panel.
Hallo, class. My name is Borris, if zou have any questions, just ask, stalinite.
The one on the left is Mark, the one on the right is the sub
Uh yeah, I can't get my program to work, how do I program 3 nested loops with 5 arrays corresponding to 3 classes?
......In Soviet Russia, Computer programs You!
... oh crap, it looks like it's going to be a long class
What is so funny?

 

by qbertsoul
10-27-02
Crazy Tie Day
For crazy tie day today I have a tie with smiley faces, isn't it crazy? ...anyways i'm going to explain the final project right now. It has to contain classes, loops, and an array. Questions?
The one on the left is Chris and the one on the right is Sabrina
Uh, can we make cartoons?
Or can we make RPGs?
That reminds me, I forgot to mention rule # 5, "no fun allowed".
Awww

 

by qbertsoul
10-27-02
The one on the right is Adnan
Blah blah blah arrays blah blah blah functions blah blah blah punch cards blah blah blah...
Oh my god this is so incredibly boring that it's getting painful... ouch....
And the thing about C++ is blah blah blah my ass is so big blah blah blah where'd my hair go blah blah
Oh my god this is so boring that i'm burning up!
He's dead
One down, seven to go...

 

by qbertsoul
10-27-02
I AM COMPUTER, I AWAIT YOUR COMMAND
Computer, check my email
A few minutes later, after he read the email
Hahaha, somebody sent me a comic strip about a big oafish teacher, it's funny.
I'M SORRY, I JUST CAN'T LOOK AT YOU, YOU'RE JUST SO UGLY
A certain computer is about to become a pile of scrap

 

by qbertsoul
10-27-02
In a very boring lecture (as usual)
blah blah blah blah blah blah
god, this is so boring...
psst... hey. wanna sneak out of class? i've got a trunk load of dead babies in my car.
Hell, why not, anything's better than this.
And so then blah blah blah... hey, where'd adam and chris go?
In Soviet Russia we could have sent them to the gulags faster than you can say "Babushka"!

 

by qbertsoul
10-27-02
Sabrina used her programming knowledge to create an RPG and input herself into it
Wow, I'm in a computer game! I'm chun li! hi-yaa, take that dragon!
Ouch, i'm dead
Yes, I've defeated the quest of the mystic dragon! wait a minute, what's going on? oh no! somebody must be closing the program! my soul will be lost forever!
Yikes, aren't you happy that this is only 3 panels
Why was there some RPG on here? Oh well, closed it. Now, time to look at some hardcore porn!

 

by qbertsoul
10-27-02
After the death of Adnan, at the great wall of China
did you hear about adnan?
Yeah.
He died in comp sci class.
Yeah, I heard.
Hell, we're in China. wanna go get a beer?
yay! beer!

 

by qbertsoul
10-27-02
Another boring class
And so today we'll be looking at new things with classes and functions, and.. wait? i went over that a week ago? well i'll go over it again!
groan
This is so painful
Aye, you think this is painful? You weren't in the Russian Bear Wrestling championship! I had to wrestle 3 grizzlies to get the cup! They were a bunch of pansies compared to me!
Wow Brusky, you sure have been through a lot in your life.
Dammit the name is Borris! You kids never know the meaning of manners until you've been in the gulag!

 

by qbertsoul
10-28-02
Projects are due, each person shows their projects and what they do
I made a program in which you input how much food you've eaten and it tells you how much weight you've gained.
Hmm... interesting... F!
I made a clock that tells you what time it is!
Absolutely useless! F!
I made a program which shows a kitten and everytime you push a button it tortures it!
Excellent job Chris! A+!

 

by qbertsoul
10-28-02
Kim Cozean
Clumsy teacher by day
Now where are my pants?
Ahahaha! Look at him!
Pill popping pimp by night! (and evening)
here's the 20 bucks I made, you're the best Cozee!
yeah, yeah, you know it. now get back there on the street, bitch.

 

by qbertsoul
10-28-02
Adam has a revelation
This makes no sense whatsoever. Our entire world is divided into moments which only center around 2 people, and all action moves from left to right. Scenery changes almost instantly.
Yellow boxes also constantly appear over our heads and say random things. The most important moments of our lives also happen every 3 panels. And for some reason I'm a robot.
Quit overanalyzing, you fuck. It's just a comic strip. And think of some way to save us because this plane is about to crash.
Uh... oh well. Let's just hope the writer made sure there are parachutes on board or that it is yet another irrelevant background.

 

by qbertsoul
10-28-02
A special treat. Adam (the writer, not the robot), has decided to answer questions from YOU, the readers. Reader
Uh, Adam, I wrote out some ideas for your strip and sent them to you. How come you haven't used them?
The explanation for that is quite simple. Your ideas suck.
Reader # 2 - Little Girl
How do you do this?
Um... next question.
Reader #3 - Texan Cowboy
Adam, give us Texans what we want!!
Alright, death penalties for everyone! Hooray!

 

by qbertsoul
10-28-02
Well I'm going to a seminar today so I'm leaving you with Borris. Have fun. Remember the test is tomorrow, so make sure to ask him questions.
Hello children! The Soviet Terror has returned to educate you on this devilish machine called a computer.
30 minutes later, not a single word was uttered about computers besides Borris's numerous threats of computers trying to program you.
So anyways, I looked the big Soviet Bear in the face and said "Hey Bear, you smell like Klasvindorf. I spit on you!" It wasn't a very pretty sight, ack.
He spit on me.
After class...
I wonder why he carries that cat with him everywhere. Maybe it was a gift from Gorbachev.
Gorbachev! hahahaha! Those silly Russians.

 

by qbertsoul
10-28-02
test day - adam is thinking through people in his mind
Oh crap, it's the day of the test... Think think... you know this...
blowjobs, 2 dollars
I drink my own urine!
Don't look at me, you've never seen me in your life. I don't even know why I'm in your memory.
After the test
So how'd you do on the test?
Eh, same as I usually do.

 

by qbertsoul
10-28-02
chris gaudreau vs chris knight!
uh what are we supposed to do?
just fight or something!
...
...
come on!
ok, his ideas have gone down the toilet
maybe he did this for sympathy...

 

by qbertsoul
10-29-02
The night before the homework is due
Computer, I'd like to test my program.
COMPUTER PROCESSING... BEEP BEEP.
The program has been executed
Oh my god!
BZZ TZZ WHIRRRRRRRR
The results of the program : "3 + 3 = 6". Yes! It works!
BZZZ..groan

 

by qbertsoul
10-29-02
No better way to spend Halloween than in a graveyard.
Yeah, although it is creepy.
*thunder*
This is getting weird, I mean look at the sky.
Shut up you pansy. The sky is just a dark green color. Happens everytime there's a huge thunderstorm in horror movies. Duh.
There's absolutely no reason to be scared.
Um... excuse me.

 

by qbertsoul
10-29-02
*continued from part 18*
Holy shit, the dead have risen from the grave!
Jack the Ripper: All that time in the grave has made me hungry... for BRAINS! well, not really. actually i'm a vegetarian.
Kurt Cobain: I killed myself for a reason. why'd you have to bring me back to life?
Hippie: Ah shit. Now I have no idea what to protest about. I'll just protest drug use I guess.
You know, this isn't a very scary ressurection at all.
Yeah, it reminds me of that movie where Mother Teresa comes back from the grave. "She's back... and she's going to stop starvation FOR GOOD!"

 

by qbertsoul
10-29-02
Back in school
Did you hear? Kurt Cobain's come back from the grave! Man, I knew he was the Messiah!
Yeah, man. His body didn't show any decay or anything. You know, that's the sign of sainthood.
Cobain? Messiah? Get real! Nirvana wasn't original, there were grunge bands like the Melvins and Soundgarden before, it was just Nirvana that popularized it!
Shut the fuck up Adam. If we want your opinion we'll ask for it.
fine, then I'm just going to wait here until you do!

 

by qbertsoul
10-29-02
Who are you?
I'm Jack the Ripper. I've come back from the grave. I'm holding a large sharp object in my hand and I'm a murderer.
You're who?
Jack the Ripper! Don't you kids study history? I was a mass murderer. I am going to kill you if you don't run!
Oh did you hear? Kurt Cobain came back from the grave?
Jesus Christ. What the hell is the point?

 

by qbertsoul
10-30-02
Hey, what are you guys doing?
Shut up, we're watching TV. Kurt Cobain's in the news.
Reporter: Never have two lost loves been reunited in this way! Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love have now gotten back together after Kurt came back from the grave! How do you do feel about this?
Yeah, yeah. We're both very happy. No we must get going. Get in the car Kurt. No not the front, the trunk, idiot.
Yes mam.
Haha! He's been dead for 10 years and his skin is less decayed than hers!
Yeah yeah, it's funny. Now get out of my house.

 

by qbertsoul
10-30-02
timmy and adam in the city
Hey what happened to the hippie guy that got ressurected? We haven't seen him anywhere.
Beats me. Maybe he's out protesting somewhere.
Why, here I am.
Wow? What happened to you? I didn't know you could afford those kinds of clothes on hippie salary.
Yeah, well I sold all my clothes and records from the 60's and made millions! I then got a job in business. I'm the richest CEO in the Urinal Cake Industry!

 

by qbertsoul
10-30-02
Adam, there's terrible news. The Hippie guy turned into a monster and ate half the population of Los Angeles!
Oh my God! LA!
It get's worse. Jack The Ripper turned into a monster as well, and ate half the rainforest (since he's a vegetarian)!
Oh my God! The Rainforest!
And Kurt Cobain turned into a monster and ate Courtney Love.
....And?

 

by qbertsoul
4-25-04
The worst thing about being a kid...
why hello adam, i remember you when you were just a baby!
uh sorry i don't remember you at all
hello adam, i'm your parents witty middle aged friend. i bet you have lots of girlfriends in college! hahaha!
oh yeah, uh... that's pretty funny i guess.
YOUR PARENTS KNOW ME SOMEHOW, NOW GIVE ME FOOD
uh this just keeps getting weirder.

 

by qbertsoul
4-25-04
i've decided to make an art film. here it is in panel form:
too much too much
E E E
hmm... it's the mail
PANCAKE
EVIL

 

by qbertsoul
4-25-04
the experiment was a success
holy shit. i crossed into the real world.
come monkey, we have much work to do
kee kee kee
or was it
HALT, get yer ass over here. we told you yanks the south will rise again, and now it's happened! har har har.
wait a minute, where the hell am i?

 

by qbertsoul
4-25-04
i've asked myself this for years
Why the hell do you only talk with lowercase?
uh i dunno, it just looks cool i guess.
That's pretty fucking unoriginal. Too cool for the LOL kids now?
well i used to say that but it just got kinda lame. i dunno.
Oh yeah, what are you going to do now? Ask me if I want to see your Livejournal or invite me to join Friendster?
i think i'm going to go cry. livejournal post about it will follow.

 

by qbertsoul
4-26-04
yes i've already degraded into low brow humor.
i heard prostitutes can go for as much as 500 dollars.
that's fucking expensive as hell. why would anyone pay that much when you can go for a 5 dollar hooker?
i heard you pretty well get what you pay for. the cheap ones are pretty disease infested.
ah shit. 50 dollars for 10 hookers seemed like such a good deal at the time.
uh i think i'll go over here now.

 

by qbertsoul
4-26-04
hey, are you brad pitt?
no, actually i'm val kilmer.
oh.
uh... guess i should be going.
wait! don't you want an autograph! i was in batman forever!

 

by qbertsoul
4-26-04
fuck i gotta take a piss. i'll be right back.

 

by qbertsoul
4-26-04
this is some place to put a white house. god, gives me an eerie feeling just being near it.
ah.... i don't feel so good.
jesus christ. i didn't know the old saying was true.
hey, that's not that bad. i was just walking by silicon valley and look what happened to me.

 

by qbertsoul
4-26-04
#1: mr. russian
are the stereotypes about russians true?
yes, we're all just like yakov smirnoff.
#2: record store kid
so why's today a bad day for you?
i lost my ALF t shirt and a lot of other 80's nostalgic memorabilia. following that my girlfriend dumped me because i'm no longer hip.
#3: college frat guy
ok, not only did you mistake your own urine for beer but you're wearing a kilt.
fuck, i really need to learn to dress myself. where the hell is my football jersey?

 

by qbertsoul
4-26-04
i am the ocean god.
really? what can you do?
i can make gigantic waves that will crush you unless you pay me tribute.
no, you can't. wind creates the waves, and the wind goddess has been giving you the silent treatment ever since you hit on her when you were drunk.
ah... well... i can call aqua man!
yeah, except you ran over his dog when you were driving the other night.

 

by qbertsoul
4-26-04
...
so jesus has been here all this time...
I am Jesus hears myself that I roar and by the way I I am good
hmm... no wonder there are so many denominations. nobody can understand the guy.
Return the land. It tell my Günstlinge that I will expect for him in the heaven, I count me the ressurect immediately. I am the meat of ground that Myself alive here.

 

by qbertsoul
4-26-04
...
...
fuck, porn takes forever to download on the school computers.

 

by qbertsoul
4-26-04
hey adam, how's it going?
...
..hello?
MUNG...
um... gues i'll be going.
wait.... where are you going?

 

by qbertsoul
4-26-04
i'm such a genius. this is the most elaborate cookie sale strategy ever.
knock knock
what do you want?
buy some cookies or i'll expose myself

 

by qbertsoul
4-26-04
hmm... i'm so lonely
killing myself would be a great way to get attention...
this just in... man kills himself in most hilarious way possible. film at 11.

 

by qbertsoul
4-26-04
so yeah as i was saying monkey, this girl wanted to know what mung was and i was about to explain but..
wait, did adam just slam into that cop car?
sorry i'm late guys, see some jackass made this fucking awful parking job so it took me forever to finally park.
ahem....

 

by qbertsoul
4-26-04
hey, you're that transfer student right? welcome to college. i live right down the hall from you.
hey nice to meet you man. so, are you going to ask me if i've gotten laid yet? hehe
um... uh... so have you gotten laid yet?
heh, the closest i've gotten to getting laid so far is sitting next to a girl peeing!
um... i think i'm going to switch rooms.

 

by qbertsoul
4-27-04
and now, adam as you've never seen him before
SHIRTLESS!
...
this comic isn't nearly as sexy as i thought it would be.

 

by qbertsoul
4-27-04
hmm... what do for the next comic... come on think of something.
excuse me mister, i was looking for some directions. oh wait.. you're frozen
ME MADE OF ICE
hmm... nope. maybe i should have made the guy on fire instead...

 

by qbertsoul
4-29-04
ah... jesus i have a hangover.
GOOD MORNING LOVE, DO YOU WANT SOME BREAKFAST
...
i'm not here, this isn't happening...
YOU WEREN'T SAYING THAT LAST NIGHT

 

by qbertsoul
4-30-04
wow, i never thought i'd actually make it to space.
ki ki ki
this sure is beautiful. you can just barely see earth from here.
and to think, when mankind fully colonizes space, we'll need monkeys like you to clean bathrooms.

 

by qbertsoul
5-05-04
another day on the job... sigh. I can't wait until I get a goddam raise.
knock knock
hello there, I'm here to take you to.... oh GOD!
YES MISTER?
forget the raise, i fucking quit!
WAIT COME BACK HANDSOME! YOU CAN HELP ME SHAVE MY ARMPITS

 

by qbertsoul
5-05-04
sorry, i can't do anything. i've got a business convention to go to.
business convention?!? you're 19 years old!
i would hang out with you, but i've got a meeting with my fan club. by the way, here's a list of things i want for christmas.
uh, I don't even recall asking you to hang out...
HEY THERE HANDSOME, MY BACK NEEDS A MASSAGE!
what the fuck?!? oh well, at least somebody thinks i'm attractive...

 

by qbertsoul
5-05-04
yes sir...
and make half the burgers without ketchup, the others without sesame seeds on the buns!
ok ok i'm on it...
no wait, i'm not finished. i want 3 orders of freedom fries, and they better be freedom dammit. i don't want to see french anywhere on them.
this is hell...
hey! you're not working fast enough! i better have this all within 5 minutes or i'm going to make sure you get fired!

 

by qbertsoul
5-05-04
...everybody loves me

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