All comics by NeoVid

Profile

 

by NeoVid
5-19-06
I wouldn't even remember my character's name if it wasn't on my character sheet. Did anyone remember my character sheet?
They don't want to hurt me? Good, that'll make killing them a lot simpler.
Nobody would be crazy enough to put silver shot in a shotgun.
Man, we're lucky his character doesn't have a self-destruct button...
I'm still wondering what part of "I am evil!" made him think he could trust me...
Your minions ended up with a cloud of bugs in their lungs, so they couldn't BEE here!

 

by NeoVid
6-11-06
It's quiet as the grave in this graveyard!
My real ugly is on the inside.
Emotional manipulation? You can never trust people who do that kind of thing, except me.
With how much death energy this place has, the ghosts must have seen it and said, "Wow! This place is DEAD!"
Cruel and unusual? It's not unusual.
So now the guy who transformed himself into fire is hallucinating? The hallucination must be, "So cold... so very cold..."

 

by NeoVid
6-21-06
See, I'm multiracial, but no one ever guesses... or believes me when I tell them.
You say you're multiracial. Which races?
Half black and half white.
Hey, you're right about people not believing you when you tell them!

 

by NeoVid
6-21-06
Dave? It's been years...
I go by Elaine now, and I want to be addressed as a woman.
I see. Hang on a minute while my brain changes gears.
*GRIND* snap *THUD* pop *SMASH* sizzle
OK, cool.

 

by NeoVid
7-24-06
...And unlike Governor Schwarzenegger, he is a leader, not an actor.
Hmm.
Well, that means he's got no chance at being elected in California.

 

by NeoVid
8-03-06
Welcome to Stripcreator, now a subsidiary of FPD Inc.
What's FPD Inc?
Flabby, Pathetic Dorks Incorporated.

 

by NeoVid
8-03-06
Locking yourself in the bathroom won't stop me for long!
Yes it will! I just heard the cops busting the door down, sucker!
Dont worrie, now the Fuck Poleece Deppartmant is heer to sav yuo!
...Hey, could you let me hide in there with you? Please?

 

by NeoVid
8-11-06
Wow... I really have to look at Mr Rogers differently with what I know now...
I mean, who would guess that he wore long sleeves because his arms were covered in tattoos from his time as a Marine sniper?
Can you say, "One shot, one kill?" I knew you could!

 

We don't get many puns in here.
by NeoVid, 8-21-06

 

You wouldn't hit a disabled man with glasses, would you?
I don't discriminate.
by NeoVid, 8-27-06

 

Sorry, I don't have any change.
by NeoVid, 8-28-06

 

by NeoVid
9-01-06
Follow me in all things, and you will be saved.
What cool things do we get to do when we follow you?
Mainly get to heaven.
Boring. I'd rather follow the other guy giving a speech right now...
So if you want to know more about how to maim and destroy those who oppose you, look at my site at www.massacre.com///////!

 

by NeoVid
9-23-06
PUNY HUMAN!
PUNNY HUMAN!

 

by NeoVid
9-25-06
Hey! This is cooperative mode! You're supposed to help me!
Heh... "H-elp?" I can't remember what that is...
You know, what your victims scream.
Oh, "HELP!"

 

As you can see, the protesters burned a dummy of President Bush.
A dummy of the President? Isn't that redundant?
by NeoVid, 10-06-06

 

by NeoVid
10-25-06
Dude, that guy that just walked by smelled like pot fumes!
Hey, that's weird...
That smells just like my dad's tobacco.

 

I'm not in the mood to hear any fat jokes today.
I don't want to listen to a fat joke either, so shut up.
by NeoVid, 11-12-06

 

by NeoVid
11-16-06
Who are you, kid?
I'm SC's new character, Forgotten Man.
Really? Well, good luck, kid. I know how hard it is to be popular here.
Whatever. Luck won't do me any good with my problem. I bet I never even appear in another comic.
Hey, who was that?
Who was who?

 

by NeoVid
11-16-06
Forgotten Man? I'm Senator Lipservice, and I must say I understand your problem completely. I haven't been in a comic in four years.
Damn, and I thought my life blew.
You're talking to someone who's disappeared for so long he doesn't remember what he used to look like. Now that I'm back, I promise to bring back all the forgotten characters, like you!
Wow. Thanks, Senator. No one's ever done something like that for me.
Well, sir, you've gotten new contracts for Mister Oblivious, Misremembered Platitude Trout, and Descolada. Are we forgetting anyone?
Nope.

 

by NeoVid
11-27-06
After you drive up, a guy with a huge beard, chain mail and a sledgehammer says, "It's good you're here! I am your new teacher, the mighty Thor!" Now, aren't you glad you paid for this mentor?
I think I'll be paying for this mentor all right.
I know it costs 2 points to get an average human as a servant, but I only had one point left for mine.
I can imagine when our characters meet him. "Why did you even hire this guy?" "Me... was only... one point..."
My first character in this game called himself Momus and no one got it. My next was called Sargon and people got the reference wrong. So this one just calls himself Threat!
You're using a real word as a name? Everyone will think you're a freak.

 

by NeoVid
12-14-06
Man, where is he? He should have been here by now...
I'm late! I'm sorry!
No problem.
Ahem... Crabby is an egotistical dick who likes to cause grief.
Thanks, Captain Obvious!

 

by NeoVid
12-14-06
That wasn't funny.
Oh yeah?
Well, it's my opinion of my own work that really counts, not any... oh... wait. You're judging this contest.
Damn.

 

It's the most punderful time of the year!
by NeoVid, 12-22-06

 

by NeoVid
12-29-06
I know how to use my brain. I also know how to use your brain.
Drunk, no good at fighting, and armed with a rocket launcher! A recipe for success!
Careful. That's load bearing rice paper.
I'm not worried about working with the werewolf pack. The only thing that's likely to get you killed by werewolves is purposely associating... with... huh.
The bastard just hacked my foot off! Now I'm hopping mad!
Sorry I had to come to the game straight from work, and didn't have the chance to change out of my uniform. But I brought a box of donuts!

 

by NeoVid
1-12-07
Good thing she doesn't despise divine casters. Then she'd be a prayer hater.
Don't worry, I'm OK. Hey, why's this gold ring over my head?
Are these an endangered species? They will be once we're done.
I wasn't trying to hide my rocket launcher. It was right here in my left pocket the whole time.
Hand the GM a plot hook that big, and you'll end up hanging from it in a meat locker.
Your Kung Fu is weak. I pity the Fu.

 

For a while, I was into bestiality, sadism and necrophilia. Then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.
by NeoVid, 1-14-07

 

by NeoVid
2-15-07
Hean!
What the hell's that supposed to mean?
It's "Hey, man" shortened by using just the first two letters and last two letters. I thought I'd try a new way to make slang and try to be cool and original.
It's not cool and original to come up with something that dumb.
Shortening them like that... just makes you sound like an asle. Or a shed.

 

by NeoVid
2-25-07
I will use all the comic ideas I've had in the past month in this strip right now.
Done.

 

by NeoVid
2-26-07
Damn, the wife was right, it does smell rancid in here.
I'd better get you changed, kid.
Looks like she fell for it. I'm glad I have you to take the blame for that stench that follows me around.

 

Meets a friend's date
Hello! I've just started going out with your friend, Dan!
WHAT!? For God's sake, why!? Have you LOOKED at him!?
by NeoVid, 3-04-07

 

by NeoVid
3-16-07
Hey, man, it's been a hell of a long time, but I'm back!
Josh! You're alive!
That means the guy I hired owes me my money back.

 

by NeoVid
3-23-07
What's with the letter?
It's a complaint about how bigoted it is that black people aren't allowed to appear in these comics.
That's just about the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
Yeah... I mean seriously...
What kind of retarded-ass nigger would think I was bigoted?

 

by NeoVid
3-26-07
I realized the library I go to is the branch for inner city kids...
Huh? What's the difference?
Well, there was one thing that tipped me off...
They had five copies of the "Pregnancy for Dummies" video.

 

by NeoVid
3-28-07
Wirthling sent me a letter about the ranch he just bought.
He says wants everyone to know that he loves horses.
Or that he would love them if they didn't run away so fast when he tried.

 

by NeoVid
3-28-07
Did you hear about how many government officials got cancer recently?
But there's still no such thing as contagious cancer...
Don't worry....
With the way science is advancing, I'm sure there will be soon!

 

by NeoVid
4-01-07
Tobor, your department's output increased 40% since you were made manager. How did you do it?
TOBOR BELIEVES IT IS BECAUSE OF HIS SWIFT RESPONSE TO EMPLOYEE COMPLAINTS.
PUNY HUMAN! WHEN TOBOR WANTS YOUR OPINION, TOBOR WILL PULL OUT AND LET YOU TALK!
Mmmph mnmph!

 

by NeoVid
5-02-07
I was buying. Why did you just get cookies when we went to McDonald's instead of real food?
I obviously didn't want real food, since I agreed to go to McDonald's.
Also, I got the chocolate chip cookies because it's the only thing on the menu that has a chance of actually having meat in it.

 

by NeoVid
5-29-07
Why do you always win our arguments?
Simple...
The difference between your opinions and mine is that mine are right.

 

by NeoVid
6-01-07
Hey, boy. Wanna scratch?
That's never safe. Last time I did that, a dog bit my face.
Well, there's a difference...
Unlike you, all life on Earth doesn't despise me.

 

by NeoVid
6-04-07
Did you see they're releasing Norbit on DVD?
Why? Is there anyone who actually wants to see that movie?
Hey, I watched it. Only because I had the chance to see it for free.
And come to think of it, I still wanted my money back...

 

by NeoVid
6-10-07
I keep forgetting. What's an oxymoron?
That's a saying that contradicts itself. Like "mighty weak."
Or "Military intelligence."
Or "French badass."

 

Why did Reed Richards get a dumb codename like "Mr. Fantastic?"
It was better than what his wife calls him: "Mr. Absolutely Goddamn Unbelieveable."
by NeoVid, 6-11-07

 

by NeoVid
6-22-07
As everyone can see, I'm part black and part white.
My whole family came to this country on a slave ship.

 
by NeoVid, 6-25-07

 

by NeoVid
6-29-07
Dammit... what's your character learned about his own abilities this session?
Magic is riddled with loopholes, sucker.
You saw the guy once before. He was working with the gunman who blew you full of holes that time.
You'll have to narrow it down a lot more.
Before the session started...
My head hurts like hell. I've been dealing with idiotic shit all day and I'm sick of it.
You really haven't come to the right place.

 

I just found out the US release dates for Guilty Gear Accent Core, King of Fighters XI, and NeoGeo Battle Coliseum! This is the greatest moment of my life!
What life?
by NeoVid, 7-02-07

 

by NeoVid
7-17-07
I'm sick of going to movies that I think will have a Transformer as the leading man, and then don't...
"Lawnmower Man" was the most disappointing movie I've ever seen!

 

But what if He doesn't move in mysterious ways, and He's just a dickhead?
by NeoVid, 7-25-07

 

by NeoVid
7-31-07
IT IS TIME FOR THIS WORLD TO END AND BE REMADE FROM THE START!
Nooo! Why, God, why!?

 

Hope my tongue doesn't get frozen to his ass.
by NeoVid, 8-01-07

Showing page 10.

« Previous Next »