All comics by pslock

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by pslock
5-16-04
Alright...I'm here. Did you bring the mice?
Yes...4 plump ones..just like you asked.
Mmm.delicious!!
Not so fast!! Give me the photos and THEN the mice are yours. A deal's a deal.
Very well...here you are. Although, I must admit, exposing your little affair with the siamese across the way would have been quite tasty.
Leave her out this, Francois...her family would never understand...

 

by pslock
5-16-04
Tweet...Squawk. Squawk.
Arf. Arf Woof. Woof Woof.
Squawk!! Tweet!! CHIRP!! SQUAWK!!!
WOOF!! WOOF!!!! ARF!! GROWL!!
GRR!! WOOF!......TWEET!! SQUAWK!!!.....ARF ARF ARF!!!!
Squeak? SQUEAK, SQUEAK!!!

 

by pslock
5-18-04
Jesus Christ on crutches, won't that fucker Diablo ever stay dead? Oh well..hey check out this nifty Two Handed Sword of Rightious Indignation I picked up off that zombie!
Yeah that's nice and all, but we're in hell. Like, how do we leave? That fucker Tyriel just LEFT us here and went off to drink ale or some shit while we're out here doing the hard work.
Oh, stop the bitching already...you got a great pair of Chain Leggings of +5 No Visible Panty Line, anyway. Hey, is that Deckard Cain over there?
Where?? HEY DUMB ASS, GET OUT OF HERE SO WE DON'T HAVE TO RESCUE YOU AGAIN, FUCKTARD!!
You know, I think all this hacking and slashing has made us bitter and jaded....maybe we should take a break and slam down some Rejuv potions..
Are you fuckin' saying I can't handle this shit? FUCK OFF!

 

by pslock
5-18-04
Jesus Christ on crutches, won't that fucker Diablo ever stay dead? Oh well..hey check out this nifty Two Handed Sword of Rightious Indignation I picked up off that zombie!
Yeah that's nice and all, but we're in hell. Like, how do we leave? That fucker Tyriel just LEFT us here and went off to drink ale or some shit while we're out here doing the hard work.
Oh, stop the bitching already...you got a great pair of Chain Leggings of +5 No Visible Panty Line, anyway. Hey, is that Deckard Cain over there?
Where?? HEY DUMB ASS, GET OUT OF HERE SO WE DON'T HAVE TO RESCUE YOU AGAIN, FUCKTARD!!
You know, I think all this hacking and slashing has made us bitter and jaded....maybe we should take a break and slam down some Rejuv potions..
Are you fuckin' saying I can't handle this shit? FUCK OFF!

 

by pslock
5-18-04
Jesus Christ on crutches, won't that fucker Diablo ever stay dead? Oh well..hey check out this nifty Two Handed Sword of Rightious Indignation I picked up off that zombie!
Yeah that's nice and all, but we're in hell. Like, how do we leave? That fucker Tyriel just LEFT us here and went off to drink ale or some shit while we're out here doing the hard work.
Oh, stop the bitching already...you got a great pair of Chain Leggings of +5 No Visible Panty Line, anyway. Hey, is that Deckard Cain over there?
Where?? HEY DUMB ASS, GET OUT OF HERE SO WE DON'T HAVE TO RESCUE YOU AGAIN, FUCKTARD!!
You know, I think all this hacking and slashing has made us bitter and jaded....maybe we should take a break and slam down some Rejuv potions..
Are you fuckin' saying I can't handle this shit? FUCK OFF!

 

by pslock
5-18-04
Fellow Stripcreators, due to an unfortunate, technical mishap, my last comic was posted a total of three times.
THis was not an attempt to push other comics off of the front page, nor was it a suggestion that it was such an amazingly funny comic that it warranted three postings.
Now back to Sports where your favorite local team has been up to some antics on the field that are worthy of slo-motion replays, am I right people?

 

by pslock
5-18-04
"..And so I must report, sadly, that after the Friends finale, all of its viewers were so stricken with utter grief that they all simultaniously suffered grief-driven strokes and died..."
.....
"..now...a moment of silence for the dear departed souls.."
.......
FUCK YEAH!!!

 

by pslock
5-23-04
Hey, I'm back! Time for more crrrrrazy antics!! I'm gonna go on Letterman and pretend to be his mom!!! LOL!!
Actually, it's been awhile since you were last on Letterman. You've been one-upped by Madonna, Bobcat Goldthwait, and Courtney Love. Not to mention very few people think you're actually funny still.
Who's Courtney Love? Oh well..it doesn't matter. Time to start WRESTLING AGAIN!!! HA!!
Professional wrestling is already at a level of stupid so massive that nothing you could do would possibly satirize it or make it funnier. Oh and Courtney Love plays your girlfriend in a mov..
WAIT!!! I know....I'll sit in a box on top of a billboard somewhere for, like, 30 days without food or water!!!
Don't even go there, man.

 

by pslock
5-23-04
FOUR LEGS GOOD, TWO LEGS BAD!
INDEED!!
Are you just agreeing with me so you can live here, or are you legitimately bitter and hateful of your human masters??
No, no..I'm bitterly hateful and stuff. So...where's the food?
You're not convincing me. I doubt your true hatred of humanity. FOUR LEGS GOOD, TWO LEGS BAD!!
FOUR LEGS...oh look just shut the fuck up and make the tender vittles, ok?

 

by pslock
5-24-04
DUMBEST FUCKING BOARD GAME EVAR.
Does it qualify as a board game, though?
Shut up.

 

by pslock
5-28-04
Ok doggie, I've got the honey and peanut butter!! Let's go at it?
??
What? Do you think I'm a slut?
Yes.

 

by pslock
5-28-04
I say, it has occured to me, good folk, that those buggering darkies may indeed attack us when we least expect it using our guts for garters!!
They just may attack Memorial Day celebrations, the honoring of military veterans, little Jimmy's birthday party, your favorite car-washing day..why the list is endless!!
So what should we do, Mr. Terrorism Czar person???
Why, by jove, take the initiative!! Blow things up before "they" can get to it! Kill little Jimmy!!! Leave your car dirty!! Explode the library! See what those nasty blighters think of that!
Jolly good, sir!! FOX NEWS UBER ALLES!

 

by pslock
5-28-04
Take for example, the humble Catholic Priest. Doing good in a crazy world, he is forever remembered as a pedophile.
Oh Lord, as we today celebrate your presence we humbly ask that you.....OMG HOTT!!! *drool*
Or our beloved President, who must negotiate complex perils in order to keep us safe...yet he is lampooned like a common idiot..
These agents of destruction will be founded!! Then we'll punishitate them with the powerfulness of American prides!
It is truly a shame that these horribly accurate and precise social insights must persist in today's world..can't we just all get along?
HOWDY Y'ALL!! I'M FROM THE SOUTH AND I LOVE TO DRINK BEER AND FUCK MY RELATIVES!! DOWN WITH THE MUD PEOPLE!
??

 

by pslock
5-28-04
Daddy, daddy! This girl at school got all offended when I said I wanted to rip her clothes off and fondle her.....
WHOA THERE, son! What the hell were you doing talking to a schoolmate like that?? I mean, that's just disgusting behavior and I'm very disappointed in you!
...
So? What do you have to say for yourself?
Hey, when you've gotta rip the clothes off of a girl, it might as well be a 12-year old, am I right people?

 

by pslock
5-28-04
Alright class, shut the hell up and finish this damn test.
Yes, Timmy?
Umm..there's no test on this piece of paper. It just says "I FEAR ALIEN CULTURES AND THEIR HEATHEN WAYS, NUKE THEM ALL" over and over again.
...Aren't your parents from Argentina?
Y...yes.. Why?

 

by pslock
5-29-04
When life gives me lemons, I make lemonade.
And when it gives me hot, gay, men, I make beefcake sandwiches.

 

by pslock
6-01-04
OK class, today we will be discussing what a great job our fearless Emperor is doing in his battle against the damn, dirty darkies.
Umm...I thought we were supposed to be doing fractions today!
SHUT UP! We've had enough of this "math" for one week...it's time to get down to what really counts. Today we'll learn how the Jews control all the money and...
My mommy says you're just stupid and ignorant and...
YEAH? Well since I'm the one being paid to stand up here and warp you're goddamn minds, she can just SUCK IT!!!
...just saying is all...

 

by pslock
6-03-04
THURSDAY, 1:43 AM, SOMEWHERE IN STRIPCREATOR CITY
Alright...what we got here tonight?
Looks like a dead comic. Just not a funny night tonight, sir.
Cause of death?
We're still working on it, but it looks like it was just a really stupid comic. Something about an asian girl sucking a Jewish dick or something. No one laughed at it, the bastards.
Hey. they can't all be genius humor, pal.
This one ain't even tryin'

 

by pslock
6-03-04
7:46 AM, STRIPCREATOR POLICE HEADQUARTERS
So...what's the story on this alleged "unfunny" comic??
Looks like it was just plain bad. It died from not being laughed at approximately 9 hours ago or so. At least, so the M.E. says. Looks pretty cut and dried to me.
Cut and dried? You think you could try finding out who didn't laugh maybe? What is this? We only pursue the cases where the comic was GOOD and no one laughed?
Look, sir..I didn't mean that, I just meant...
Look....just get out there and see what you can find out, OK? If it's not too much trouble!
I'm going, I'm going.

 

by pslock
6-03-04
4:31 PM, STRIPCREATOR FORUMS
Alright..time to see who's who here....*Ok, who thought those comics were funny yesterday?*
["None of them!! They sucked!!"] Hmm....a possible suspect? *Why Didn't you like them?*
["Cuz THE GUYZ A FAGORT!!! LOL!!"] This could be a lead....

 

by pslock
6-03-04
5:90 AM, KADDAR BLVD., STRIPCREATOR CITY
I'm with SCPD, sir. I need to talk to you. You said on the SC forums that you thought the comics posted yesterday by the user "fagtard" weren't funny.
N...no I didn't Hey I like EVERYONE'S comics there, man. People are really funny there...
I have a transcript of you calling "fagtard" a...well....a fagort.
Ok....l...look, I just didn't like the way the guy wrote, OK? I mean....it's not I wanted his comics dead or anything, I mean he wasn't threatening mine. I'm still funny!
So..you didn't laugh at his comics, then, did you?
..Well..no..YES...a little bit, yeah. Look, everyone else on the forums was making fun of him and stuff...I LAUGHED MAN, I swear!!

 

by pslock
6-03-04
7:34 PM, STRIPCREATOR POLICE HQ
Looks like you got the bastard, eh?
I dunno...problem is, he wasn't the only one not laughing at this comics. Everyone seems to hate this "fagtard" and his comics. It could have been almost anyone who killed his comics.
You see conspiracy in everything! How's his alibi?
Shaky..he claims he switched over to a porn site before he actually started not laughing at the comic, but we can't back it up.
HE'S THE GUY! He's got guilt written all over his sorry face.
I guess we have a strong case...I'll take it to the D.A.

 

by pslock
6-03-04
9:38 BM, STRIPCREATOR DISTRICT COURT, D.A'S OFFICE
So, do you think you can put this fucker away?
I can indict a ham sandwich! And don't use that language in here, officer, my children play in here!
Sorry....so, do you need me to testify?
Probably..you were the one who made him confess on the forums, and it would help.
Well, he didn't exactly confess, he just said...
Look officer, are you with us on this one? Do you WANT this guy roaming SC forums and destroying other comics?

 

by pslock
6-03-04
6:66 AM, STRIPCREATOR DISTRICT COURT, PART 9
...so, sir, isn't it safe to say that you wanted Fagtard to fail? That you were DETERMINED to undermine his comics?? Hmm?? HMMMM??
N...no..I..I... I just...I couldn't stand his....look, I never meant to hurt the comics!!
But wasn't it YOU who left the comment, and I quote, "you suck more than that other guy who sucks. go die."????
I was just KIDDING! I GUY CAN KID CAN'T HE!!!
WHEN IT COMES TO COMICS, I FIND NO HUMOR THERE, MR. USER PERSON!!!!
*sob*I just wanted to make him suffer a little bit....*sniff, sniff*

 

by pslock
6-03-04
9:82 PM, COURTY THINGY
I'm sorry, sir, I find you offensive in the extreme! TELL US WHY YOU DESTROYED THESE COMICS!
I DIDN'T....I WISH -YOU- HAD COMICS SO I COULD NOT LAUGH AT THEM TOO!!!!!
*the courtroom gasps*
.....I.... rest.....my case....your honor... No further questions.
*sniff sniff* *sob*
You are excused, sir.
But...WAIT!! *sniff* YOU PEOPLE DON'T KNOW ABOUR FAGTARD! BASTARD!!

 

by pslock
6-03-04
99 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL, 99 BOTTLES OF BEER
We, the jury, find the defendant......guilty.
Well..congrats. I guess we got another bastard out of the SC forums..
Just doing my job...maybe now he'll understand his horribleness in jail.
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER: COCK FOX
What was it about really? Will we ever know??
It was the power he thought he had. Turns out....he didn't have it.

 

by pslock
6-03-04
HEY, THIS IS WHACK! WANT TO LEARN HOW TO DRAW A MOUSE??
FIRST MAKE A CIRCLE...THEN ADD A FACE AND LEGS! MOUSE!!!! MAD PHAT!!!!
Gimme my damn paycheck, you fuckers.

 

by pslock
6-06-04
People my age love to joke about how we came of age in the 1980s, the age of wretched excess. Helping that excess along was our dear friend, Bonzo...er..I mean, Ronald McReagan.
Lovingly painted as some wise-yet-oddly-bumbling mascot of everything neat and shiny, Reagan helped kill millions with AIDS and helped commit treason against the people of the U.S...
I honestly can't say I'm sorry he's dead.
Don't worry, kid....he's fine with me now. I got him in a REAL nice spot....

 

by pslock
6-14-04
Yes, thanks to Colin Powells briliant response to a question on Meet The Press, this catchphrase is everywhere!!!!
I'm breaking up with you.
I am not a happy camper.
I'm going to install RealPlayer!!
I am not a happy camper.
Well, Rudolph....I think I'll gain 50 more pounds this year!
I am not a happy camper.

 

by pslock
6-15-04
YOU DISGUST ME, FUCK OFF YOU SICK CHILDREN OF BASTARD PARENTS...
I WILL KILL YOU AND USE YOUR BODY AS A HUMAN SHIELD FOR WHEN I GO AFTER YOUR PARENTS; EAT SHIT AND DIE!!!
Now, children, please take out your pencils and paper and diagram that sentence. And remember, this will count towards your final grade.

 

by pslock
6-15-04
Saddam Hussein was unquestionably part of Al-Qaida. Fuck, he founded the damn thing!!
Well, sir..that's actually not true...in fact, there's tons of proof that that's an outright lie, and futherm....
SHADDUP!!! Know what else? Reagan was KILLED BY AL-QAIDA!! They infected him with Alzenheimerishness or whatever, which they bought from Saddam, who also got it from Syria and North Korea.
But that's utter nonsen...
ALSO!!! Al-Qaida were responsible for the death your PETS!! Oh, their conspiracy is subtle..but -I'M- catching on..and you better TOO America!! Or.....KAPOW!! I DECLARE THE TERROR ALERT TURQUOISE!
But, sir, that's not an actual...oh forget it...we're leaving...

 

by pslock
6-15-04
Man, Thief is like total awesomeness. Not only is it a killer game, but it, like, makes you into a real sneaky person and teaches you all this...
Yeah, yeah....whatever. Lemme eat my delicious sandwich in peace. Oh...I've been waiting for this all day.
*CLICK*
???
*CLICK*
Fuck.

 

by pslock
7-24-04
What's a hiatus?
....
It's like when you catch your dick in the zipper on your pants.
Oh... Tennis?
Are you gonna stop cheating you prick?

 

by pslock
7-25-04
HA! I caught you, you oil baron person!!! Trying to get away quietly?? Well, forget about it. I'm taking you down, pal! I'm voting your mouthpiece out of office!!!
I say, my boy, do you really think that will accomplish much? I already control enough money that I could buy and sell your mother's organs 1,000 times over, and have Switzerland in my pocket.
Not for long BUDDY!!!! I'm voting GREEN!!! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT, HUH?? MUUAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Oh, you silly quizling, I OWN the Green party! It was simply a concoction of me and my cohorts that we invented one night over a fine brandy whilst raping a Brazilian lad. Quite laughable, eh?
I refuse to believe your lies!! I even watched a MICHAEL MOORE movie the other day!! HAH!!!
WHAT??? My dear boy....you..couldn't...possibly... My god..the end is near...DAMN YOU MOORE, YOU HARBINGER OF THE EVIL!!!

 

by pslock
9-06-04
As this is my first official comic in quite some time (at least, by Stripcreator time), I will be asking for suggestions from the audience for comic ideas. Yes, sir?
Yeah, why don't you make some jokes about the hurricane...that shit is funny man!! Dude...it's all named some fag name like FRANCES!! LOL!
Umm...maybe getting ideas from the audience isn't the best idea. I'll just go back to what works or something.
But...funny....and....gay and stuff...
SIEG HEIL I AM BUSHATRON 5000. I WILL ANALLY RAPE ALL WHO STAND IN MY WAY. ALSO: DUHHHHRRR
Hmm....too broad a caricature??

 

by pslock
9-06-04
As always, based on true stories.
Ready to check out?
Yes, my good man. I'm just buying myself a copy of Passion of the Christ! Such an inspiring and spiritual story!
Ok then....
...oh, and this copy of "ALL NATURAL HUGE TITS", please.
....
What?

 

by pslock
9-08-04
Wolfenstein 3D
Take that, you lousy kraut bastard!!
Ach!! Mein Lieben!!!
Doom
Take that you hellish space beast!!
*strange gutteral noise form beyond the eternal void*
Doom II
That you hellish space beast who decided to come down to my planet to rough things up!
You say that as if giant robot spiders were a BAD thing!

 

by pslock
9-08-04
Rise of the Triad
Take that you...oh hey, I can actually move in three dimensions! Ooooh....a platform!! And another! Uhh....another?
When you get done there I think I'm supposed to kill you or something.
System Shock
Take that you mutated robot thingy!!!
EXPECT NO MERCY, HUMAN SCUM.
Heretic
Take that you....hey, I'm a wizard! Cool!! BZZT!! I'm shooting lighting and shit!!!
*heavy breathing of sinister origin*

 

by pslock
9-08-04
Quake
Take that, you....you...uhh.. I really shouldn't be here....demons...big...uh... stuff...monsters...huge. ooh..
Are you dead yet? Because I'm running out of body parts to throw at you.
Duke Nukem 3D
Hi, I'm George Broussard! Just stopping in to remind you all: Duke Nukem was, in fact, the first FPS game ever, we just didn't get ours out first. DN FOREVER!! GET IT!!! CUZ IT TAKES FOREVER! HA!
GoldenEye
Bond. James Bon...hey since when does James Bond have blonde hair??
Hi, I'm an NPC, and consequently I do not avoid bullet fire or obey any orders. Ooh! Stray bullet!

 

by pslock
9-08-04
Half Life
Uhh...anyone seen a light switch? Or a key? Or...anything? Damnit..I knew I shouldn't have come to New Mexico.
Counter-Strike
Take that, you....
...STFU FAGOT!!! UR CAMPNIG!!!11!
Deus Ex
I almost feel sorry for these guys. Not knowing my hat is actually a cybernetic brain-enhancer that allows me to sense where all the free shit is.
SECURITY BREACH IN SECTOR 6!! INTRUDER IS GOING FOR THE UNLOCKED CLOSETS FILLED WITH HEALTH GOODIES! NEED ASSISTANCE!

 

by pslock
9-08-04
Unreal Tournament
I've been here before....right? Right. I think so. Right?
I've been here before....right?
Battlefield 1942
Yeah...World War II is awesome!! TAKE THAT YOU DAMN NAZI!!! Woo!
Lemme tell ya, sonny. It wasn't THAT awesome, actually. In fact, it kinda sucked.
America's Army
Ummm....kay.
My fellow Ameronians...this is what you can look forward to as your future when you re-elect me. Please, enjoyitate it...

 

by pslock
9-08-04
Doom 3
So...this is what the future looks like.

 

by pslock
9-11-04
Today, we examine the post 9/11 phenomena and how it has been sadly abused to forward people's personal agendas.
*hic*
Most notably the completely false and unprovable links between Iraq and Al-Qaeda. But since 90% of Americans aren't paying attention anyway and are probably drunk off their asses, we preempt this for
*urp*
....BILL O'REILLY'S 9/11 "YES SPIN ZONE" ON ICE!!! STARRING EVERY COUNTRY ARTIST WE CAN FIND! ANN COULTER AND THE COULTERETTES!! AND, FROM TV'S 'RUMSFIELD', DONALD "THE DONNIE" RUMSFIELD!!!
*grrh* Huh? Wha?

 

by pslock
9-12-04
OK...you're in the chamber...but it's very dark.
Ok...I'm lighting a torch. What's on the walls?
A small, mysterious symbol.
Well lemme touch it and see if..
....BANG! YOU'RE DEAD!! An anvil comes out of the ceiling and squashes you! It was a trap!! Cool huh?
It took me 8 gaming sessions to get that Helmet of Ease of Bra Unhooking +3, you wench.

 

by pslock
9-16-04
God damnit...why is it that all the legitimately interesting or talented musicians have to keep dying off? What I wouldn't give for, say, a disaster to rob us of Train or Good Charlotte or Oakenfold.
I mean, it's great when we get little crumbs like the lead singer of STP dying, but seriously God...get with the fucking program.
*sigh*...oh crap...
FU! WAT U TALK ABOUT!! GOOD CHARLEOTE IS LIKE THE BESTEST PUNK EVAR THEY EVEN R SPOOKY WITH BLACK NAIILS!1!!

 

by pslock
9-30-04
Do you remember that scene in Starship Troopers where the kids are dissecting the bug and the chick with the big tits throws up??
No.
Goddamnnit I'm sick of having to re-rent that movie everytime we have this conversation.

 

by pslock
9-30-04
I am going to date this guy that I met online last night.
I'm jealous.
Don't be. I'm only doing it so that I can kill him, steal his money, and with any luck, also his online identity so that I can play mind games on everyone he knows.
....
Oh.

 

by pslock
9-30-04
I am stockpiling weapons.
If that's the case, I must stop you by sending in my troops.
You have killed me, but my spirit lives on in my followers.
I will send in more troops.
You lose.
Curses.

 

by pslock
10-01-04
I have to take serious issue with something...
What?
The fact that you deny me blow-jobs on a routine basis.
Yes, but remember, you refused to continue paying for them.
Touche'

 

by pslock
10-01-04
Looking in the trash...I discovered....
A dead rat!!
Yum.

Showing page 10.

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