All comics by Benco

Profile

 

by Benco
1-28-04
"Im Sarah.Im 14 going to be 15 May 9....Umm.I think I might be pregnant....I had unprotected sex with my boyfriend on friday 4 times...I was supposed to get my period this week."
Is it even possible for me to be pregnant? Not exactly sure.If you can gave me any advice I would appreciate it.
no, it's not possible for you to be pregnant at all

 

by Benco
1-28-04
ok let's have an eskimo fight
we stand around
side by side
taking turns punching each other in the temples
and the first one to die is the loser
the winner gets the prettiest eskimo bride in the tent

 

by Benco
1-28-04
and if you cheat on her
you have to run away naked for like three hours
i saw this all in a movie once
i'm totally serious
it was this long-ass eskimo movie
about a dude running around naked for three hours

 

by Benco
1-28-04
doing circuits homework while chatting > doing economy homework while chatting
circuits?
no, not circuits
i'm taking a NOT CIRCUITS course where you learn all about not circuits and how to be sarcastic
crank that must be a lengthy course
since there are quite a few things that aren't circuits

 

by Benco
1-28-04
i always have a jigglypuff card in my wallet
just, you know, for emergencies

 

by Benco
1-28-04
one time i was talking to this girl who was a good friend of mine and i was like "can i ask you an extremely personal question"
and she's like "sure" and i'm like "no you'll probably be offended"
and she's like "no i won't" and i'm like "no seriously will you please answer it no matter what at least" and she's like "ok"
and i'm like "do you wash your butt?"
and she hasn't talked to me since

 

by Benco
2-10-04
yoko ono and her "songs" which consist of her like having a super squeaky orgasm
NADIR NOW I CAN JERK OFF TO YOKO ONO SONGS WITH THAT IMAGE. THANK YOU.
my sister used to have a yoko ono album, it was shit
aaaaaaaaaaa

 

by Benco
2-19-04
"Today I discovered that one of my favored MUDDING females is a complete psycho. I told her that I am pregnant... and here is what all she said in reply:"
"Lynn tells you 'Cause I'm gonna pray you have a miscarriage.'"
"You tell Lynn 'non! that would be so sad'"
"Lynn tells you 'Hun, it'll be for the best.'"
"Lynn tells you 'throw yourself down some stairs.'"

 

by Benco
2-19-04
"Lynn tells you 'have someone punch you.'"
"You tell Lynn 'ahh!'"
"Lynn tells you 'I know, I'll come up there and gut your baby out with a dirty knife and a folding table.'"
"Lynn tells you 'I will cry for you. I will go cry for me too. Right before I kill myself.'"
that bitch rules

 

by Benco
2-19-04
"My daughter's father and I are no longer together. I was going to name her Sparrow Elise Rayburn(my last name as a second middle name) then Sullivan as her last name(her father's last name).
"Though now that the two of us are no longer together and arn't getting married I don't know if I should give her his last name or mine.. What do you think?"
i think you should stab yourself in the stomach until you don't have to consider ruining a child's life by naming it sparrow
i recommend the five step method
fall down five steps?

 

by Benco
2-19-04
The five-step method for new mothers:
1. bottle of gin
2. hot bath
3. coathanger
4. hoover
5. shotgun

 

by Benco
2-19-04
the world would be a better place if people had vasectomies at birth and had to get a license to get it undone
how would one get this licence?
sucking me off
in that case, i agree the world would be a far better place
if i'm not availible a representative will stand in for me. i'm hiring!
'can you read the licence plate on that penis?'

 

by Benco
2-19-04
"i'm 15, my boyfriend and i had sex three times last week, two times the condom broke, one time it didn't. my stomach has been getting bigger lately. also, i've been having cravings for weird foods."
lay off the ice cream, fatty
THE BEST WAY TO TELL IF YOU'RE PREGNANT IS TO POKE AROUND YOUR VAGINA WITH A COAT HANGER UNTIL YOU FEEL MEATY
"-/ no form of bc used ever // have sex pretty frequently"
fucking idiots.
i will kill them all

 

by Benco
2-19-04
(Funk) I want to play theglans
(Funk) err the glans :(
funk you won't be passing any english test anytime soon either
Oh no a stick space bar makes me a syntactic cripple :(((
And y key, obviously. TEARS :'(
my whole keyboard is sticky
i mean
uh

 

by Benco
2-19-04
http://zzt.the-underdogs.org/james/ultrasound.jpg this one is called "shes smiling"
i cant see anything in there
it kind of looks like those sandworms from Dune
yes
maybe she has the power to paralyse nerves
shatter bones, suffocate an enemy and burst his organs...

 

by Benco
2-29-04
"Budget Ninja (3:14:50 PM): GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN"
WHO IS THIS IDIOT
I DON'T KNOW
BUT YOU SEEM TO BE IN HIS KITCHEN

 

by Benco
4-17-04
DOS, YOU LIKE THINGS THAT ARENT YOUR SPECIES
Thats not even not normal, thats SUPPOSED to be genetically impossible.
I guess humans have evolved to the point where things that are genetically impossible among animals (The lust after other species) are now possible.
Thats freaking scary man.
Of course, what do I know, maybe dolphins want to fuck tigers.

 

by Benco
4-17-04
Ugh. Kerry is now anti gay marriage.
This country sucks, I give up on it
gay marriage is wrong
And you're an idiot
Nano, marriage is between a man and a woman, if you change the definition of that what's stopping everyone from changing it to the union between a person and a thing
personally i don't want to live in a country where there are people marrying mufflers and cd players

 

by Benco
4-17-04
gay marriage is just as wrong as interracial marriage. It's just as wrong as outlawing slavory. It's just as wrong as giving women the right to vote.
people are attracted to dolphin and dolphins don't mind. should you stop this marriage between a man and a dolphin in love?
yeah but dolphins love tigers
i wonder if i can marry my right hand.
Fungahhh: it's the only thing that ever sees your cock
so i say go for it

 

by Benco
4-17-04
You know what, you're right. Let's outlaw marriage, period.
no, just outlaw weird marriage
zamros, if you ever marry anyone, that'll be a weird marriage
no man, two fags fucking each other in the ass while blasting 'it's raining men' that's a weird marriage.
That's from your own discriminatory outlook
i don't discriminate, i just hate people who are different from me

 

by Benco
4-17-04
If you don't see that banning gay marriage is simply an act of discrimination and that it's exactly the same thing we've been fighting against for our whole nation's history, then you must be dense
we've been fighting against freaks and weirdos
like the british
I have a friend who is gay
so do i. hell, i love gay guys. whenever i see a faggot i just say 'wutup fag' and they're like 'yo wutup'
they're good people, i just think that they're weird and they shouldn't share finances or raise children because they'd just fuck it up

 

by Benco
4-17-04
Okay then, let's not allow anyone without a highschool education to marry
ok
Because they fuck it up so often
i'm all for that
I happen to believe that a majority of gay people would make great fathers
but would they make good mothers?

 

by Benco
4-17-04
they tend to be more sensitive, more understanding, and more caring than the average guy
yeah but then the kid will grow up an indecisive wimp
It's the "wimps" who are really our future. Our best future. And by wimps, I mean those guys who are picked on in high school who later on become our scientists and stuff
i like how nano thinks that it's not possible for somebody who is smart to not be picked on
People who are picked on tend to focus on more intellectual subjects, statistically
i know a big group of people who get picked on every day and they're the dumbest motherfuckers

 

by Benco
4-17-04
This world needs more brain and less muscle
muscle gets things done
No it doesn't
brain just thinks about it and makes things worse. it's like hamlet vs macbeth
macbeth got shit done and he was the king
hamlet cried about himself every day and he hardly even avenged his father

 

by Benco
4-17-04
I'm saying that brains have become more useful than muscle in general
i dunno
you can be as smart as you want
i can still beat you to death

 

by Benco
4-17-04
it's just the liberal pussies who are concerned about the useless innocent bystanders that are holding the true muscle back
really, after september 11th i really was hoping we'd just use one of those nukes on afghanistan. the infant mortality rate there was 1 in 4, everyone's dying anyway
with muscle you can bomb the crap out of everyone, but you need brains to keep your existing country stable
or you can just shut up your existing country with muscle
nazi germany worked pretty well, it was just the killing jews part that kinda fucked them
aside from that, they're a good example of shutting everyone the fuck up with muscle

 

by Benco
4-17-04
Go into the world with bodybuilder muscle and caveman brains and try to live in this world. You will probably succeed, but you likely won't do anything meaningful
the rock is a multimillionaire
people will remember the rock, he changed wrestling
The rock doesn't have caveman intelligence
yeah he does
his gpa in college was .5

 

by Benco
4-17-04
Okay try almost no muscle, just brain. You'll be more likely to have a greater effect on the world like Bill Gates
but a majority of the world hates bill gates
Bill Gates is the richest man in the world, and that gives him a lot of influence. More than the rock
but the rock has a lot more sex
which is the only reason we exist
when you think about it

 

by Benco
4-17-04
Because you guys are the "more muscle and less brain" types, and I bet you I'm going to be more successful in life.
i bet you i'll be happier
Doesn't matter
yeah it does
I'm happy when I work
and i'm happy when i smoke pot and jerk off. which is easier?

 

by Benco
7-19-04
the best part is that this girl hates that i do drugs cuz she thinks it changed me or some bullshit
they make you COOL is how they change you
except if your name is draco in which case you're a dumbass anyhow

 

by Benco
7-19-04
what about viovis
what ABOUT viovis
yeah, point.
i don't know what my point was
i just said what you said again
COCKS

Showing page 11.

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