All comics by DragonXero

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by DragonXero
8-20-02
I never loved you, but we can still be butt-buddies.
So, do you still love me, even though I don't have a penis?
Well, I don't want to always be the taker!
We could always reattach your dick.
Sounds like lots of fun!
Sure. For me.

 

by DragonXero
8-20-02
So, do you still love me, even though I don't have a penis?
I never loved you, but we can still be butt-buddies.
Well, I don't want to always be the taker!
We could always reattach your dick.
Sounds like lots of fun!
Sure. For me.

 

by DragonXero
8-21-02
How do I become a "donor" for this site?
I think you have to send Brad money.
But I have no money.
Neither do I.
What should I do?
Send him your kidney.

 

by DragonXero
8-21-02
I think it's wrong the way John's been treating you.
Huh?
All the lies, cheating, fucking other guys...
What the hell are you talking about?
Huh? You didn't know? Oh, well, none of that happened.
Tell me more, or I make you wish you weren't born with a nervous system.

 

by DragonXero
8-21-02
I can't believe what that bitch Jill did to you!
Wha-?
I mean, did she really think that she could get away with fucking twenty men at once, then suck off a dog??
What the hell are you talking about?
Oh, sorry, you didn't hear?
Tell me more or your flesh will line my cat's litter box.

 

by DragonXero
8-21-02
We have to talk, cunt.
You're damn right, you fucking bastard. I heard what you did! Fucking cheater.
Huh? I didn't cheat on you, you filthy whorish dog-fucker.
I didn't fuck a dog! Where did you hear this?
Mary told me all abo- Oh she is SO dead.
Not if I get at her first.

 

by DragonXero
8-22-02
Y'know, I was planning on entering the latest comic contest, but then I remembered I'm not funny.
Then I remembered that no one else is either.
Yeesh, tough crowd. This is the last time I do stand-up at a regs meeting.

 

by DragonXero
8-22-02
Often, I sit and wonder about reality. Are we just imagining this world we live in?
I ask myself if this is reality, or simply a group illusion. Perhaps I'm the only real one. Perhaps *I* am god.
But in the end, I have to remember that reality is really just what we percieve. And I smile.

 

by DragonXero
8-22-02
I should stand up for this.
Whoa, head rush.
I'm not doing that again.

 

by DragonXero
8-22-02
Okay, no one around, time to use my new secret robotic power!
*wonk wonk wonk wonk* *wonk wonk wonk wonk*
Well hell. That didn't work.

 

by DragonXero
8-22-02
Okay, let's try this damn power again.
*wonk wonk wonk wonk* *wonk wonk wonk wonk*
Hrm, this isn't what a wanted... But I sure as hell ain't complainin'!

 

by DragonXero
8-22-02
Well, as fun as it's been, staring at myself in front of a mirror and taking 30 rolls of film, I must try again for the form I wanted.
*wonk wonk wonk wonk* *wonk wonk wonk wonk*
SWEET JESUS! Where're my goddamn genitals?!

 

by DragonXero
8-22-02
For fuck's sake, how am I supposed to manrape people without a phallus?!
I'm an emasculated robot now.
I can't even whack off to those naughty pictures of myself!

 

by DragonXero
8-22-02
Well, hell, I suppose I could always just maul people instead of manraping them.
RARRR! CLANCY WILL MANHANDLE YOU!
Oh fer... I need a new name. And a telescoping penis.

 

by DragonXero
8-22-02
RARRR! REDBOT WILL VANQUISH YOUR ASS! No. RARR! MRB-2834 WILL VIOLATE YOU!
It's no use. Even with this telescoping penis, I can't strike fear into the hearts of men without a cool name...
Wait, I've got it! RARRR!! TOBOR WILL FORCEFULLY GIVE YOU ANAL SEX!
Uh... I just wanted a mint.

 

by DragonXero
8-22-02
Okay, I have the look, the lines, the telescoping penis... time to test this baby out!
RARRR, TOBOR WILL MANRAPE YOU!
Promise, big boy?
GOD DAMMIT, What's wrong with you people?!

 

by DragonXero
8-22-02
Okay, one more time!
RARR! TOBOR WILL MANRAPE YOU!
OH SWEET GOD NO!!!
SUCCESS! TAKE IT, BITCH!

 

by DragonXero
8-26-02
So, why don't you ever do skate tricks anymore?
See that fence over there? Last time I did a skate trick, it sodomized me.
Ouch. OH! Shit, I gotta run, extreme sports madness on ESPN. People will lose limbs. You understand.
Yep. Totally.
Who's yer Tobor NOW, bitch?
Who said that?

 

by DragonXero
8-26-02
Hey, over here, dickface.
GAH! A talking fence!!
You're damn right. And I will now kill you!!!
AAAAAHHHHH!!!! Wait, why are you alive? And why do you want to kill me?
Duh. You left ass-stains on me, Mr. badass skater. PREPARE TO BE KILLED TO DEATH!... NO, COME BACK!!
Okayyy... walking away now...

 

by DragonXero
8-26-02
Y'know, I always wondered why "beer nuts" exist.
I mean, beer, and nuts, it didn't seem quite right.
It just didn't seem to fit in anywhere, I mean, beer and meat, hell yeah!
I thought "well, maybe it's because nuts are just cheap".
But, I finally had a whole beer, and some cashews (which I hate) with it. Now I know why you eat nuts with beer.
Mainly because BEER TASTES LIKE SHIT.

 

by DragonXero
8-28-02
Okay, so Mudvayne, Slipknot, and Korn are all mallcore. If Tool isn't metal, you're saying it's mallcore?
Uh, no. Did I say that??
Well, know, but I'm a moron, what do you expect.
Tool is progressive rock, or hard rock if you don't think they're very progressive.
What's progressive?

 

by DragonXero
8-28-02
Heya Xero, what's up?
Oh, not much Gabe, I think I've just lost my funny.
That blows. I don't think you've lost it though, it's just... hidden.
You mean like the gerbil up your ass?
... What happened to your legs?
BLOW ME!

 

by DragonXero
8-28-02
So, Drex, we've lost our instruments, our drummer is in a drunken stupor, and the audience is pretty small...
Small? It's nonexistent, man.
True that. What are we gonna do?
Well, it'd be a waste of time to perform with no instruments and no audience.
Perhaps we should tell people we're going to be playing, next time?
That, or we should change our name from "Fuzzy Frilly Care Bears of DOOM!"

 

by DragonXero
8-28-02
Hah! That crazy moron. I can't believe he did that!
Hey James, what're you watching that's so funny?
Huh? Oh, just Clinton's "I did not fuck that woman" speech.
Huh? You taped it?
You can't get comedy like that every day, y'know.

 

by DragonXero
8-28-02
Hey baby, I'm new here. What's the haps?
Go away, creep. I hate losers like you!
You didn't have to be so mean about it...
Shut up and go away, freak.
Yeah, I think that was the first time I killed. Do you think God will forgive me?
Do you think I'll ever start with the Mets?

 

by DragonXero
8-31-02
HEY BABY!
Yeah?
TOBOR WANTS A LAPDANCE! DANCE FOR TOBOR!
You want the booty, you gotta give up the looty.
DOES.NOT.COMPUTE... TOBOR WILL NOW CORNHOLE YOU!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, the kinky shit's extra.

 

by DragonXero
8-31-02
So I said, "Them rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!"
HA.HA.
YES.THEY.WILL STUPID.HUMAN!

 

by DragonXero
8-31-02
Damn it's hot down here.
Yeah, but at least it's a dry heat.

 

by DragonXero
8-31-02
Damn, it's hotter than hell down here!
...
I'm going to dismember you now.

 

Damn, it's hotter than hell down here!
... I'm going to dismember you now.
by DragonXero, 8-31-02

 

by DragonXero
9-04-02
From the neverending mountains black...
To the bottomless lakes...
I am the ruler, and have been for eternity's long.

 

by DragonXero
9-05-02
#stripcreator
We should have Brad say that people get free hookers for coming here!
Dude, everyone knows what the SC hookers are like!
Take off your pants.
Oh. Oh well. Your loss.

 

by DragonXero
9-05-02
Ha ha!
*sigh* So alone.

 

by DragonXero
9-05-02
Yeah, what do you want? Who is this?
Hi, cowboy1? This is cowboy2...
Yeah? What do you want? You uneducated piece of slime.
Could you tell that joke about the turbines?
two minutes later...
So I said "them rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!"
Ha ha!

 

by DragonXero
9-05-02
Thank god, I thought I was NEVER going to die!

 

by DragonXero
9-05-02
Er, uh, hi Tobor. What's up?
BRAD HAS NOT BEEN PROPERLY INTRODUCED TO STRIPCREATOR LIKE ALL OTHERS!
But.. I made Stripcreator...
TOBOR NOT GOING EASY ON ANYONE!
Uh-oh... time to get goin... Work and stuff, y'know...
RARRRR!!!

 

by DragonXero
9-05-02
FINALLY. I may not be able to drown, but at least this shark can kill me... what is that shadow?
GODDAMN IT!
Next time, don't kill the mafia boss...

 

by DragonXero
9-05-02
Goddamnit, where did I leave my keys?

 

by DragonXero
9-05-02
Hey Mike, can I have a new partition made for my mom, and a hundred bucks?
Done and done.
..No catch?
Nope.
I get it now. You're God, right?
Shh. Don't tell anyone else I'm hosting.

 

by DragonXero
9-06-02
So I said "Them rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!"
HAW HAW HAW!
You shure got a purdy mouth.

 

by DragonXero
9-06-02
So I said, "Them rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!"
Ted?
Huh? Oh, sorry. I just fell asleep when I heard you starting that LAME ass story.

 

by DragonXero
9-06-02
GUESS.WHAT.TOBOR? GRAY.ROBOT. WILL.NOW.CORNHOLE.YOU
HA HA!! YOU CAN'T RAPE TOBOR!
WATCH.ME
UHHH.....
5 Minutes Later...
WAS.IT.GOOD.FOR.YOU?
TOBOR NEVER GOING TO DOUBT YOU AGAIN!! OWWWW.

 

by DragonXero
9-11-02
Don't forget that a year ago, planes crashed into buildings and changed our lives forever.
I don't think I can forget...
Hey, remember last year when the planes crashed into those buildings? It was horrible.
Yeah. I don't think anyone will be forgetting that anytime soon. Moron.
DON'T FORGET, TONIGHT YOU GET ASSRAPED!!
*gulp* I wish I could!

 

by DragonXero
9-11-02
Hey, how's it going?
Um, it's alright...
Wanna go hang out at the mall?
Er, sure, but what about the Illuminati facists that keep people of different races from hanging out together?
What about them?
Er, I'm black...

 

by DragonXero
10-15-02
So, what's for dinner tonight, dildo?
Roadkill surprise!
Ew! What's the suprise?
Surprise! You're roadkill!

 

by DragonXero
10-15-02
So, where have you been for the last month?!
Oh, I've been working.
....HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHA!!
Shut up!
Ba-dum-bum!
No, really, where've you been?
Fucking your mom.

 

by DragonXero
10-15-02
Hey guys, I came to audition for your black metal band. Since I'm practically the only black guy in town, I'm a shoe-in, right?
Fetal Carnage, the newest NSBM band is looking for a new drummer...
Uh, is this room 666?
THE WHITE RACE SHALL RISE AGAIN!

 

by DragonXero
10-15-02
Damn it, I don't get this. We praise Satan in all our songs, ask for his help, and yet we still play shitty clubs.
You'd think that metal was Satan's music, but he doesn't help us at all.
I wonder if ANYONE gets help from him.
I'm sure we'll never know...
Meanwhile, before her show at Madison Square Gardens, Britney Spears consults with her manager...
o/~ Oooh baby baby... o/~
Yes, my pretty. Soon, we shall rule the cosmos!

 

by DragonXero
10-15-02
Are we on?
Yeah, shh.
We are here to complain. We have been used in hundreds of comics to represent five dollar whores.
Yeah, what's with all this "fi' dorra, sucky, sucky. Me rove you rong time" bull?
We charge at LEAST $20 for a hummer. $80 for sex.
And $150 for the weird shit.

 

by DragonXero
10-15-02
Majestic Mount Lassen.
The mountain with the biggest tits in the world.
*buzzz* START AGAIN!

Showing page 11.

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