All comics by Lord_Vodek

Profile

 

by Lord_Vodek
12-11-11
Hey Cici how are you?
Good I'm just trying to make money
Good boy. Not like that Marcus kid he'll never make money
Yeah haha
So how much money have you made?
Nine dollars

 

by Lord_Vodek
1-07-12
One Day
I hate you!
I hate you too I never want to see you again!
The Next Week
So uh see you tomorrow?
Yeah baby definately
Two Weeks Later
What is your problem?!
I hate you!

 

by Lord_Vodek
1-10-12
Mate in 37
The game just started
I know but the conclusion is obvious
God dammit you win again

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-10-12
And I'm Back!
No one cares!
I know
Shut up and start writing comics again

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-10-12
So college life is fun
Oh really, why is that?
Well for one...
Yes, I'm listening.
Ummm...Well...Ya know...It...Well I...
Dude you are even lamer in college than in High school

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-10-12
Look Hal, I really can't thank you enoigh for helping out.
Hey! Hey! You know it's my pleasure!
Dude remember that time you helped me solve a mystery
I know I can't believe it was your dad all along
So you're saying that my mom got a sex change and left my father for a woman, but then my dad got a sex change and won my mom back which means that my dad is my mom and my mom is my dad and that...
That's right that means your dad gave birth too you.

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-12-12
You call this food? This taco was a disgrace I'd rather eat shit!
Shit huh?
That can be arranged...

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-12-12
So...How does this work?
Well...
You honk my nose until I orgasm.

 

What the fuck you're not Yoshi!
Yes, I am you have a concussion from hitting your head on all those blocks.
by Lord_Vodek, 10-16-12

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-17-12
Just say no man
The Obama administration is actively trying to pull troops out of Iraq and Afgahnistan
No man you're supposed to be waging a war.
Sir, you need to leave.
We have to beat the terrorists man
Security!

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-22-12
Hey Grandma can I ask you a question?
Sure Jerry why not
Grandpa was a super hero right?
Yes, back in my day your grandfather was quite the hero
How did he get his powers?
One day we were camping in the forrest and he didn't have any toilet paper...

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-22-12
So grandpa stuck a pine cone in his ass?!
Well yes, back then it was frowned upon to wipe your ass with your bare hand
Weird
Yes those were the days
That explains his name
Many people did wonder why his name was Captain pine cone

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-22-12
I wonder...
Nah couldn't be...
*Click*
Holy shit...

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-22-12
Jerry!
Coming Grandma!
I've seen a new super hero on the news lately would you know anything about that?
Nope.
He publicly admitted to having a pine cone in his ass...
Right uh. I have to go grandma...

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-23-12
SO grandma what kind of powers did Grandpa have?
Well, your grandfather could fly, had heat vision, ice breath, super strength and was nearly invulnerable
So he was Superman?
Not quite his weakness was slightly easier to exploit
What was his weakness?
If he got hit in the ass the pine cone shattered and he lost his powers that's how he died.

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-23-12
We interrupt this program to bring you a special report Captain Greek is battling a minor demon to save Miami
I won't let you destroy this city!
I don't want to destroy it I merely want to open a law office and sell beach front property
You Monster! Take this!
You dick!

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-24-12
In local news Captain Greek has refused to fight the mad spanker we go live to our on scene reporter, Marcus?
So Captain Greek why won't you put a stop to the mad spanker?
He is beneath me I think this is a job for local law enforcement
But he is ruthlessly spanking men women and children sometimes to death
I uhhh...Have to deal with things you know hero business and such.

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-28-12
I'm having an abortion
I just thought you should know.
I mean I care about you. But this is too much for me
So a number three with cheese?

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-29-12
I promise to raise taxes send jobs overseas and get rid of welfare
I promise to bring about the end of days
I'm not saying vote for me. I'm just saying I'm admitting to what the other two candidates are planning

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-29-12
So baby, you ever use both hands at once?
I could really rock your coffin you know.
Okay let's cut to the chase you're dead I'm fucking your corpse

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-30-12
My toilet and I have a special relationship
How so?
Well it's seen parts of me no one else has it keeps taking my shit and staying
And even though sometimes I walk away and even use other toilets on occasion I always come back
Dude you really need to get a girlfriend

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-02-12
Hey bro been a while what's up?
Not much how about you?
Pretty good got a new girlfriend, only problem is we've been having so much sex I'm getting to the point where nothing comes out when I climax
Gives a whole new meaning to the term "Dry-heave" eh?
By the way only fags say climax

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-04-12
That poor, poor fool.
Why would he go after the one villain who could defeat him?
And who the fuck is stupid enough to stick a pine cone up there ass?

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-04-12
My life really sucks right now.
Why is that...
My life is a comic for someone else's amusement
I think there's a problem with that theory.
What's that?
Your life wouldn't make a very funny comic

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-04-12
Dude this is serious.
Okay, supposing you are right what does this have to do with anything?
It means my whole life is a lie and I'm living in a fishbowl
This...Means my life would be a lie too...
Later...
See what I'm talking about? They've got all of our conversations even the one about you and that transvestite hooker
Holy shit dude...I never noticed how much time we spent in that damn arcade

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-04-12
A recent rash of apparent suicides is causing concern among stripcreator residents as to what is going through their fellow characters heads
That's right we have now confirmed that Captain Greek's death was a suicide not a murder
That brings the suicide count up to five with the Fuck If I Know Goblin and the Arcade kids being the latest suicides
Tobor is now on suicide watch and Jimmy the Innapropriate Sportscaster is being seen for psychotic episodes
You know Mark, I've always hated you
That's fine Marie I have been sleeping with your 17 year old daughter for the last 8 months

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-04-12
Dude, something's wrong?
What is it now?
Nothing is going wrong in my life right now
You mean you have a problem with not having a problem? Wow it's like someone hit a reset button on your life
What did you just say...?
Shit I don't know I'm just following a script.

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-19-12
Why are you walking around in your underwear?
It's rude to point ya know...
Oh sorry.
I wasn't talking about your hand

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-19-12
I'm not sucking your dick
Why not is it too small?
No it's size is fine.
So what's the problem?
You're not circumcised...

 

So...
I think I left the oven on, The jew stopped screaming which made me lose my stiffy
by Lord_Vodek, 12-11-12

 

by Lord_Vodek
12-15-12
You have a dry sense of humor
It could be worse.
How so?
Well?
I could have a wet sense of humor.

 

by Lord_Vodek
1-07-13
So I met a girl recently.
Oh yeah what is she like?
A lot like me actually it's pretty cool we get along great.
Don't have kids
There's no telling what kind of debauchery that could lead too.

 

by Lord_Vodek
1-09-13
I know you are a jedi but you have got to stop slicing hands off
You're just upset that I cut off both of yours too

 

by Lord_Vodek
1-09-13
How's that new cough drop working for you?
Well the cough is gone...But...
But what?
Nothing.
Okay man. Glad your cough is gone
Me too...Don't kill me

 

by Lord_Vodek
1-17-13
All of the cooling water is gone and we can't keep up with these hoses.
Meltdown is inevitable if we don't come up with another plan.
So I says, "Well, them rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!"
Ha, ha!

 

by Lord_Vodek
7-09-13
Put your hands in the air
Oh my god
Wave them like you just don't care.
You cared a little!
No I swear I didn't!!!

 

by Lord_Vodek
7-26-13
Ahhh.
I love the smell of bureaucracy.

 

by Lord_Vodek
8-08-13
You know I like you
But I have a boyfriend.
And I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings
So we can only do this three or four more times.
Click
At the most

 

by Lord_Vodek
8-12-13
Meanwhile in the Hall of Justice!
What do you mean I'm fired
Well you were behind on the reports all week
It doesn't mean you need to fire me
Actually yeah it kinda does
Did you say something?
No I was talking to the black guy

 

by Lord_Vodek
8-30-13
Damn it Johnny why couldn't you make it into the trench? Why did you have to stop and cover my retreat?!
Sweet I rolled a 6! Alright your turn
Alright I'm going to invade Iran from Iraq using the green army.

 

by Lord_Vodek
9-10-13
When two satan worshipers love each other very much they close their eyes and make a wish
And then the woman stabs her lover in the chest as an offering to the dark lord
If appeased Satan will arrive and begin to rape her violently
And she must fight back no matter how much she enjoys it or else he will lose his erection, and this is how Satan impregnates you
And that's what I did this summer

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-14-13
So I started working Tech Support recently.
I know you haven't shut up about it. Do you like it?
Well of course I do but there are some surreal moments.
Like what?
Like when someone calls who's actually from India and calls me on my fake accent

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-14-13
I work for a Internet Tech Support
Thank you for calling Internet Tech Support my name is Evil How can I help you?
My internet isn't working, I want to email my grandson
Most of my calls go something like this
Is the modem turned on ma'am
No it's not do you want me to turn it on?
The thing that makes me laugh is they always compliment my computer skills.
Yes Ma'am
Okay I turned it on, and the internet is working thank you young man!

 

by Lord_Vodek
12-22-13
I survived falling off a building, getting stepped on and getting hit by a bb gun
I survived getting shot, getting stabbed, and having my back broken
I survived a nuclear explosion
I survived Poison Ivy's toxin and Scarecrows drugs
Bruce Wayne?!
Magic talking cockroach?!

 

by Lord_Vodek
1-03-14
Today's apocalypse forecast has been brought to by Gum balls! "Put those balls in your mouth!"
It appears we have a 35% chance of apocalypse by mole people.
That's right Susan it appears the mole people have at last revealed themselves and are soon going to overrun the surface
It appears their only weakness is golf clubs clipping the top of their heads. Here's Tom with the weather.
Why am I out here where the mole people can get me?

 

by Lord_Vodek
3-06-14
Ma'am how can I help you today?
If I get a cold going outside to check my emails I'm going to sue you.
Ma'am you don't have to go outside to check your email.
Yes, I do. It's out there with the rest of my mail
Ma'am you deserve to get a cold if you are going outside to check your email.

 

by Lord_Vodek
3-12-14
So it was just me and him.
One of us wasn't walking away alive.
Bitch shouldn't have taken the last ice cream cone.

 

by Lord_Vodek
3-13-14
God hard at work judging evil souls
I killed puppies for pleasure
First layer of hell
I murdered thousands of people because I felt like it.
Sixth layer of hell
I invented Mac
And ye shall know punishment like no other. Steve Jobs I sentence you to 3 life times of tech support.

 

by Lord_Vodek
12-16-14
Come on Linda you're taking forever we are going to miss the play
Okay, okay I'm sorry. But real quick, does this human make me look fat?

 

by Lord_Vodek
8-16-16
I gotta tell ya, anal with your daughter is fantastic
You sicko
She really knows how to get that strap on in all the right places
Oh
I've been walking funny all week
You know what they say, like mother like daughter

Showing page 11.

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