All comics by Drexle

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by Drexle
7-16-03
Until one day...
That's it, I've had it.
!!!!
BOO!
EEEEEKKKK!!!
You know, that felt strangely good.

 

by Drexle
7-16-03
Yes! Man, I feel whole again! I can't remember the last time I felt so alive!
I need to get me a double shot latte, and do something creative!
And maybe take a bath... phew!

 

by Drexle
7-16-03
Hey my man, I'd like a tripple espresso latte and a bucket of BRAAAAINS!!!
Aaaaiieeeeeee!!!
No brains? You got any biscotti, then?

 

by Drexle
7-16-03
Aaaah, nothin' brings you back to life like the ol' java.
Yep, I'm gonna start feelin' all eclectically copasetic here in just a few minutes...

 

by Drexle
7-16-03
Okay, then. Let's CREATE!
Umm...
Roses_are_red, Violets_are_blue, I_love_my_coffee, The_way_I_hate_you.

 

by Drexle
7-16-03
No, that wasn't copacetic... that was just pathetic.
Hmm...
You_took_my_heart, Flushed_it_down_the_drain, Now_when_I_make_art, I_want_to_eat_your_brain! BRAAAAIIIINS!!!

 

by Drexle
7-16-03
Hmm... that wasn't very cool, either.
Bro! Long time, no see!
Hey there, daddy-o! What's shakin'?
Half the cats in this joint, man. You look totally trashed. What's goin' on?
I finally feel whole again! I'm creating art for the first time in ages! Wanna hear my latest work? Roses_are_red...

 

by Drexle
7-16-03
No, no, man. That's not right at all. You still got no soul, bro!
You still haven't found what you're lookin' for, daddy-o. I'm gonna have to ask you to leave before you scare away the customers.
Actually, I think I did just find something I was looking for.
BRAAAAINS!!!!!

 

by Drexle
8-23-03
Mwahaha! I'm at grandmother's house! Now all I have to do is dispose of the little old bint, and wait for my precious riding hood!
Who's there?
Ahem... It's me, Grandma! Little red riding hood!
Oh! The door is unlocked, dearie. You can come in.
Hello there, granny.
Little red, my precious angel... What in the name of cock took you so long to get here, you little whore?!

 

by Drexle
8-23-03
My, what a big mouth you have.
All the better to suck your dick, my dear!
What?
Wait, I thought you don't...
Shhhh! I'm trying to break my typecast here.

 

by Drexle
8-24-03
My, what big ears you have, Little Red!
All the better to hear you with, my dear. And what a big.. uh... baby, you've got there, Grandma.
What? Are you sayin' little junior's too big to be grampy's son? I swear, the woodsman was just here to put a log in the fireplace
I bet he was.
Hmm... what big balls you have there, Little Red.

 

by Drexle
8-24-03
Well, they are a great way to get around.
With balls like those, I bet you do get around... my little grand daughter is really growing up...
W-w-what's that supposed to mean?
Well I'm just saying that you couldnl cover a lot of ground with balls like those. Explore all kinds of hidden valleys and whatnot.
What kind of granny are you?
The best granny you've ever had. *wink*

 

by Drexle
8-24-03
Say, those are some big glasses you have there, grandma.
All the better to see you with, my dear.
You know, I think you need new prescriptions, because I'm not Little Red, and you're sure as Hell not my Grandma.
*Gasp!* After_everything_I've done for you? You still can't accept me in your heart after all these years? Well fine. You can just fucking eat me, you ungrateful whore!
CHOMP!!!
I was waiting for you to say that.

 

by Drexle
8-24-03
Later on:
My, Grandma! What big ears you have!
Oh, all the better to hear you with, my dear.
Wow grandma, what a big belly you have.
Why yes, all the better to... uh... Oh, now that you mention it, I think I have an upset stomach...
I haven't seen you this fat since just after you fooled around with the woodsman.
Oh.. oh... GOD!!! THE PAIN!!!

 

by Drexle
8-24-03
Wow! Grandma's going into labor!
Huff, huff, shut up!!!
I'm gonna go draw some hot water!
AAAAARRGH!!!!
NNNOOOO!!!!!

 

by Drexle
8-24-03
Aaaah! God, I'm finally out of that there bitch's stomach. Ungrateful little whore.
Grandma, I brought the hot wat... oh! It looks like the delivery was a success! Congratulations! Is it a boy or a girl?
Bitch! What are you doing still alive? I just clawed my way out of your bunghole!
Hey, that baby looks like the woodsman's also! Grandma, have you been fooling around *again?*
Look, why don't you go take your basket full of goodies over to the woodsman and see what all the fuss is about yerself.

 

by Drexle
9-16-03
Hey I'm a loser with no job so I pass off crap as art.
Ungh... hrrrrrrrrrRRRRR!!! Gah!
Whew! Man, I bet some bored New Yorker will pay at least $35,000 for that.

 

by Drexle
9-21-03
Aaaah, time to check my e-mail...
Windows must now restart because the remote procedure call (RPC) serviece termindated unexpectedly
Buh?

 

by Drexle
9-21-03
Mwahahahaha!

 

by Drexle
10-07-03
Hi there.
Hey, what's up?
Oh nothing much. Just plotting world domination.
Wicked.
What about you?
I'm plotting world submission, myself.

 

by Drexle
12-08-03
I swear, I have had it up to here with attractive guys. They're all so concieted and full of themselves!
Hi there, I'm...
Hold on there, who do you think you are? You think I'm on your level? Psssh! Dream on, loser!
Considering that you're just a 5th level Bimbo, I probably have enough EXP to be on a much higher level than you.
Get one of your dorky little friends to roll your dice, kid. I'm going to throw myself shamelessly all over that hottie down the block. <3

 

by Drexle
12-08-03
Heeeeeeey there, baby! What's happenin'?
Umm... nothing involving you, creep!
What is it with all these disgusting guys who are always hitting on me?
Do they think somehow that they have a chance with me? That I'm somehow on their level? Gross!

 

by Drexle
12-29-03
Oh my god! It's been so long, my dear! How have you been?
Is that you chucky? Wow, you haven't changed a bit! Still wearing the same diaper you were in 2001!
I get so many comments on it that I just coudln't bring myself to take it off, you know?
Well you could change it and put on another one... but forget the diaper, it's so good to see you again!!!
I know, we have so many old times to catch up on!
Hey, do you remember that time...

 

by Drexle
12-29-03
Back in the year 2001...
Hey buddy, check it out! Look at that fine piece of ass over there!
Oooh, where?! I want me a piece!

 

by Drexle
12-29-03
Wait, where are you going?
SPLAT!
!!!
Sigh...
AAAAAHHH!!! Got a piece!

 

by Drexle
12-29-03
You can't keep doing this, Chucky.
What? I left you the mouth, man.
Look, if you don't want it, I'll go back and get that too!
SPLAT!
Chucky, that's not what I...

 

by Drexle
12-29-03
Aaaaaahahahahaha!!!
Hahahahaha!
BWAAAA-hahahahahha!
Aaaahahaha hahahaha!!!
You know, I don't think I remember that night.
Well you were hitting the acorn rum pretty hard and heavy...

 

by Drexle
12-29-03
Well, uh... do you remember that one night back at Sully's Christmas party?
?
You know, the one where I had those two broads hangin' off each arm? By the hair, that is?
And then I came up and totally stole the one you were mackin' on too, and said "HEY! HEY! DEER BOY'S GOT NO GAME! HE'S GOT NO GAAAAAME!

 

by Drexle
12-29-03
You remember that one, huh? Huh?
Ummm... no. I think you were hitting the acorn rum a little hard and heavy that night too.
Who is the one holding the hatchet here?
Oh, right! THAT night. I remember that one! Ooooh hoh hoh hoh! Indeed, you were such a scalliwag. You win. I've got no game.

 

by Drexle
1-09-04
Yeah whattup my Waiterdee? I'll have some of that expensive chizzampaigne.
Fo' rizzle, mah nizzle.

 

by Drexle
1-09-04
Hmmm.... If I just move the Rook here, there's no escape for him.
Bzzzt! Moving King Knight to E4. Checkmate!

 

by Drexle
1-09-04
Okay, that was a good match. Let's have another.
Bzzzt! Affirmative!

 

by Drexle
1-09-04
Fifty games later...
...
Bzzt! Checkmate! Victory achieved in three moves. That makes fifty consecutive wins. A new record!

 

by Drexle
1-09-04
Bzzzt! What are you doing?
Oh, just giving your chess circuitry an upgrade.

 

by Drexle
1-09-04
Bzzzt! What kind of upgrade?
Oh, well I'm replacing your processor chip. I'm giving you a new Frito-Lay VI, with extra sour cream and vinegar.

 

by Drexle
1-09-04
Five minutes later...
*Choke... sob...*
Bzzt! Checkmate! Victory in two moves!

 

by Drexle
1-19-04
Woah, what have we here?
I know just what to do with you...

 

by Drexle
1-19-04
Pull!
(*Whooooosh!*)
I... I just can't do it!
(*SPLAT*)

 

by Drexle
1-19-04
Sigh...
Holy fuck, not another stupid Skeet Shooting strip!
I don't know what posessed me, man. I... I just saw that perfect, round, orange body, and that goofy, care-free smile, and I just knew it was made for launching!
But why, oh why could I not finish the job?
Did someone say Lunching? I'm hungry! Say, where's the pumpkin I left around here?

 

by Drexle
1-22-04
Rest: 1
Dr. Kokenbals! I knew it was you all along!
Ja, und now zat I haff you here, you're gooing to zpend ze rest of your life here in this cell!
Rest: 1
Wanna bet? Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A Start!
Vat are you do-ink?
Rest: 30
It's the Konami Code! When you say it, good things are supposed to happen... say, what's that up at the top of the screen?
I stahnd corrected. You'll spend zeh rest of your thirty lifes in ziss cell! Haw!

 

by Drexle
1-22-04
It's truly amazing! I've... I've decyphered the Bible Code! After all these years, I have finally found the secrets of god!
Bible Code? Okay, let's hear it.
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start!
What are you talking about, that's not the Bible Code, that's the Kona-...
Poof!
I tried to save him Lord, but such is the fate of those who disbelieve the Bible Code.
Very funny.

 

by Drexle
1-30-04
This is some party, huh?
Yeah, I'll say. I haven't seen one this wild since Terra celebrated her birthday with all the guys in the metro area. So, what's new?
Well, I totally have a new boyfriend! You remember that guy on the internet?
The one all the way in Idaho?
Yeah. We've really been connecting lately. I swear, he's my world now. I don't know what I'd do without him!
Wow. You know, those online things don't work for everyone. I tried it once, but all I met were total weirdos like that guy over there.

 

by Drexle
1-30-04
Which guy over where?
The one standing over there in the corner, giving himself whiplash.
(**Headbanging**)

 

by Drexle
1-30-04
Hey, he's kinda cute! I am so totally into long hair. What could have been so wrong with him?
You don't understand... all he wanted to talk about was rolling dice, playing video games, and writing comic strips.
Hey, that's not so bad.
And he listens to the weirdest music... like someone choking to death on a lawn mower.
What's wrong with giving new music a chance?
Maura... His idea of a date was having me launch things into the air so that he could shout (*BANG!*) at them.

 

by Drexle
1-30-04
You mean he likes Skeet Shooting?!
In a manner of speaking, I guess he d...
PULL!!!
Zoe?
(*Whoooosh!!!*)
Zoe? Where did you go?

 

by Drexle
1-30-04
ZOE! Where are... Oh! Excuse me.
No excuses necissary. Say, where have I seen you before? You look awfuly familiar.
In my dreams, maybe?
Really? You know, I love dreams. I think they're among the most revealing aspects of human experience.
Wanna go in the other room?
I dunno. Are there some more cheese crackers in there? I ate all the ones in here.

 

by Drexle
1-30-04
I don't know. But I'm sure there's something better than cheese crackers in there.
Are you sure? There's not much better than cheese crackers.
I bet I can show you what's better than cheese cra...
Oh wait, I know! Vintersorg is better than cheese crackers!
What? Oh, the thing on your shirt?
Yep. While there is always a space in my heart for cheese crackers, they just can't compete with the God of music.

 

by Drexle
1-30-04
What is this Vintersorg?
I'll just have to show you. To arms, my fellows! Tonight, we take back the Mead-Hall!!!
HOOOO!!!
HOOOO!!!
HOOOO!!!
HOOOO!!!

 

by Drexle
1-30-04
*SLICE* *CHOP* HAHAHAHA!!!
AAAARGH!
*CRASH* *SLAM*
EEEEEEEEP!
*HACK* *CRUNCH* SAVE THE VODKA!

 

by Drexle
1-30-04
I-i-is it over?

Showing page 12.

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