All comics by JoeBlough

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by JoeBlough
9-20-19
Take 1
Romeo, Romeo, where for art thou, Romeo?
Bitch must be blind. I'm sittin' right here!
Take 2
The shades of night are falling fast, as through the Alpine village passed...
What? I thought I was that Romeo dude gonna get me some ass?
Take 3
A pox upon thee, little fellow...creep and fink with stripe of yellow...
YO! Mr. Asscrak? This drama class bullshit, SUCKS! I'd rather get put in "Detention"!

 

by JoeBlough
9-21-19
Cheryl Murphy: aka Bridget the Midget
Yeah, I'm Bridget Powers. So what, PIG?
Why you little cock sucker, you!
I see my" Vegas" reputation precedes me!
You're goin' down, lil missy!
As you know, that's one of the things I do best!
I mean for stabbin' yer lame ass boyfriend, bitch!

 

by JoeBlough
9-21-19
...and his Intern
Ya know Boss, October is just around the corner?
I know, I KNOW! I hate it! Every year "The Market" tanks!
So we tell all our clients to SELL right NOW! Correct?
HELL NO! We tell em' to buy & to buy BIG-time! WE, on the other hand, SELL, SELL, SELL, just before the bottom falls out!
But then their stocks will become hugely devalued and WE'LL keep from losing a fortune! That's unethical! How can you sleep at night?
Like a baby, kid. A BABY! *Ka-Ching*

 

by JoeBlough
9-21-19
Dad, I wanna buy & sell stocks, not work in a factory!
Don't do it boy. Get a nice Union job. We make good money.
But Pa, there's tons of moolah to be made in the Stock Market.
Don't kid yourself. Those guys are ALWAYS short of cash!
What makes you think THAT?
They're called "Brokers", aren't they? Each one is broker than the next!

 

by JoeBlough
9-22-19
Wow! That "choadwarrior" gets pretty ball-zy, using J.C. like that!
Seen "choadwarrior's" latest comic, Pops?
Did I ever? I'm STILL laughing my arse off!
Jeepers Pops, that's not exactly the reaction I was hoping for!
There ya go AGAIN, sniveling like a little baby that lost his binky!

 

by JoeBlough
9-22-19
8:55 am
Ready for your 1st day as "Sex-Ed" teacher for 3rd Grade, Gary?
Yes sir. In fact, I've got 2 guests in the classroom to assist me!
8:58 am
Whatever you do, don't sugarcoat stuff! We're gonna teach these kids about the harsh realities of rampant, unprotected sexual deviancies!
Fuckin'-A, dude! Bring on them little cock-suckers!
10:03 am
So how'd it go?
The parental reactions should begin coming in any second now!

 

by JoeBlough
9-23-19
Hey Ma, is Uncle Gary out marching for Civil Rights again?
No. He just went out for a haircut at that new "Minority" owned hair salon!
But we only do hair for African Americans. I'm not very famil...
Oh tish, tish! A haircut is a haircut! I support ALL minority business by confidently using their services. Clip away, woman. Clip away!
Nice "Minority" haircut, Uncle Gary. Did you actually have to pay money for that?
Those people shoulda stuck with selling drugs!

 

by JoeBlough
9-23-19
YOU? Again? Why does my dad keep hiring YOU?
Hey likes my style I guess!
I mean, you're a babysitter! How hard can THAT be?
Some of us just know how to "sit" better than others. Now go to sleep. Your dad will be home soon!
Hours later Timmy gets suspicious...
Wow! She DOES have a unique "sitting" style...right on dads face! I hope he can still breathe!

 

by JoeBlough
9-23-19
I came over as soon as I got yer text, Rags!
Thanks, Lunch! Behind this door is the bulk of RCLG's Intellectual Property that was deemed...
....wise & funny beyond belief, right?
Kinda! Let's go in & take a look.
Geez...he made ALL THESE hilarious comics?
These? NO, these are complaint letters ABOUT his comics. His good comics are in a cigar box over there in the corner!

 

by JoeBlough
9-24-19
The Challenge...
Excuse me young man. Can I pass?
Screw you, old lady. Gimme dat purse!
...Is Met.....
ooh...ugh...ouch
....and Resolved!
Ah-ah-ah! Best quit while yer ahead, kid!

 

by JoeBlough
9-24-19
Nations will fall!
Welcome to Mexico! Our casa su casa!
Mexico is much more welcoming than the United States.
In fact, everything you see here for miles around is yours for the taking!
Wonderful! We will have NO resistance when we colonize here!
But there was a misunderstanding!
Didn't your representative give Mexico to us aliens?
First off, he didn't represent the U.S. and secondly, you two were in New Mexico! NOT Mexico!

 

by JoeBlough
9-24-19
He's perfect. Now the Professor needs to teach him to talk before they go to the Whitehouse.
This is YUGE, professor. Have it say something!
"Clango want anal with Ivanka!"
Did he just say what I thought he said? Who taught him that stuff?
Beats the fuck outta me, Donny baby. BTW, grabbed any nice pussy lately? And where ya hidin' all the nubile, "Epstein-ish" interns?

 

by JoeBlough
9-25-19
....now has 111 followers!
Of all the no good, dirty rotten, payola payin' scumbags...
Guess who just BOUGHT HIMSELF another follower?
My huge brain tells me his name starts with an R and ends with a G and has two letters in between! Right?
Damnit d_bacon, sometimes that huge thing is just plain scary!
Yeah...that's what SHE said!

 

by JoeBlough
9-25-19
That picture of the girls has gotta GO!
Don't blame THEM cause you can't get it UP anymore!
You right. It more likley cuz you so skinny and got no sexy BOOTY!
Say wha.....?
...The next morning
I had to fight off a burglar last night. That's why!
Really? Mama tells a different story.

 

by JoeBlough
9-26-19
What are YOU doin' in here boy?
Me? Uh....nothin'!
You're lookin' for all them hidden "Hustler" mags, ain't ya?
Nah! RCLG already stole em' all!
Then why ARE ya here?
If you must know...I'm lookin' for my forearms!

 

by JoeBlough
9-26-19
Impeach TRUMP! Say "NO" to liars!
Freak!
Don't fall for his Presidential Bull-shit!
We'll just see about THIS guy!!
I said, "No rough stuff"! Calm down! He's just a Democratic loser & yuge pussy!
Exactly! Just the kinda individual you'd stick yer fist into!

 

by JoeBlough
9-26-19
Where's the bafwoom mister?
It's in back of those two paintings behind me.
Find it OK?
Yup! *pssssssssss*
Did you flush?
Uh,uh....the door was locked so I pe'ed on the floor!

 

by JoeBlough
9-27-19
Mama, the guy on TV says they're going to impeach our President.
Damnit Lucy, why don't ya watch "Sesame Street" like other kids?
Because world events are more important to me than tickling Elmo.
Just settle down and be a kid! Go watch the video I rented. I got a date to get to!
So, like a good little girl....
Oh NO! Not "A Serbian Film", AGAIN?

 

by JoeBlough
9-27-19
Welcome to "Vacations-R-Us"!
Where do you recommend, young lady?
You're very lucky sir. Saudi Arabia has just agreed to allow tourists in. You'd be one of the very first!
Ooh, ooh sign me up! I've always wanted to live like a sheikh in a Palace.
But, as luck would have it.....
Just a darned minute. Who are YOU and where is my PALACE?
Me? I'm Tom, Abdul, Bodett for Motel 6! And see...I kept a light on for ya", just like I promised!

 

by JoeBlough
9-28-19
C'mon Rudy, ya gotta help me out. I'm in a lot of hot water here!
Chill out, Donny boy. You got "America's Mayor" as your Councelor.
So, do ya think I'll have to do any time?
Maybe, but don't worry. I'll see to it you get sent to someplace that sounds HORRIBLE!
Aha! THAT'S why you had me change the name of "Mar-a-Lago" to...
"Devil's Island"! Right you are, Sir! Right you are!

 

by JoeBlough
9-28-19
Bless me Father for I have...uh, I've...um well...I sorta...
Sinned? Is THAT the word you're looking for?
Me? Sinned? I have as much use for "sin" as a moose has for a hatrack!
I agree! We have NO use for sin. What we NEED is forgiveness!
Actually, what I have need of is Jeff Epstein's Rolo-Dex. I hear you two shared?
That's just ridiculous! Besides, it's not ethical for me to "diddle" and tell.

 

by JoeBlough
9-28-19
I'm IN! Now, to steal all the valuables!
Man, this dump has nothin'! I'm outta here!
Don't even bother, dude!
Shit! Always a day late & a dollar short!

 

by JoeBlough
9-28-19
Kimmy, what can I do to get strong enough to be a cheerleader?
Well Holly, it takes tons of hard work.
Should I do bench presses to build my arm stregth?
That's a great start. Plus, don't forget to add a dumb-bell to your work-out routine!
...and so Holly did just THAT!
I'm bench pressing, silly! Now shut up!
Ok,ok, but why do "I" have to sit here?

 

by JoeBlough
9-29-19
Phreaky...will you marry me?
What? You can't do THAT! You're a PRIEST!
The Pope just gave Priests the OK to marry! I promise not to let you down in the bedroom.
You darn well better not. Anyway, I'll try to make you feel more at home so the hormones will heat up. I know just what to wear!
The Wedding Night....
Can I turn around now, my beloved?
If this outfit doesn't make you feel at home and get ya horny at the same time, I don't know what will!

 

by JoeBlough
9-29-19
You NEED check Jumbo for fever, huh?
I do!
Let Jumbo see fever stick! You sure it clean, yes?
Here you go! Just trust me!
Any problems getting all the native's temperatures taken?
It went smooth as crap thru a goose, Doc, once they got used to the "shit" taste.

 

by JoeBlough
9-29-19
Can I get a ride?
Get in, but...
...ya know, I might be a perverted, ass rapist. Well? Ya comin'?
I already DID when you said "ass rapist"!
I Shot, I SCORED!!

 

by JoeBlough
9-29-19
1pm Show
One for "JOKER", please!
I'm sorry, but no costumes are allowed for security reasons!
3pm Show
One for "JOKER", please!
Holding pretty tight to that box aren't ya? Must be yer clown suit, eh? I'm sorry, but no suspicious packages allowed for security reasons!
7pm Show...almost SOLD OUT
One for "JOKER", please!
That'll be $10.00! Enjoy the show!

 

by JoeBlough
9-29-19
Look here Nancy, you shriveled up old cunt, stop this "Impeachment" crap or else!
Or else? OR ELSE?!?!?! You're goin' down, fat man and there's nothing you can do about it.
Oh yeah? The media morons will help me spin this story like a dreidel!
Really? We'll just SEE about THAT!
Here's the deal...when Rachel Maddow & her stooges mount up & release their hounds that's when YOU start running.
OK, but if the funds don't appear in my Cayman Island account in an hour, this "Witch Hunt" ENDS!

 

by JoeBlough
9-30-19
Horny Asian guy on the prowl...
All you're gonna give me is five lousy bucks?
Darn right! And I expect something from you as well.
What the hell do you expect to get for $5, anyway?
I expect the best BJ in town AND....
And? And WHAT?
...$4.00 change back.

 

by JoeBlough
9-30-19
Sonny, it's "TIME"!
Already? Wow! I bett...
Too much?
*cough* A tad! *cough*

 

by JoeBlough
10-01-19
PLEASE do not rape me and probe my orifaces!
What makes you think...?
Oh no! Are those fingers for sticking up my anus & vagina?
It's the universal Peace Sign! Look here Earth Woman, I mean you no harm!
Oh yeah? Then what's that ray-gun for?
It's to defend myself from paranoid, crazy, Earth bitches.

 

by JoeBlough
10-01-19
Halloween: Office Costume Party
Damn! Party musta started already!
Hi! I'm new here.
Uh.....Hi! You know, I gotta hand it to ya. That's one ghoulishly horrible mask you're wearin there!
It IS, huh?
Don't tell me! She wasn't wearing one?
No shit, Sherlock!

 

by JoeBlough
10-01-19
Bless me Father Joe, for I have sinned!
Tell me, my child!
I've had impure thoughts about having sex with a Monk; with you!
Never fear, child! God will forgive you and help you as well. Now say 5 Our Fathers' &...
That night, in the Convent.....
Yikes! Why are YOU here?
God sent me! Hey, you're the one who wanted monk sex, so here I am!

 

by JoeBlough
10-02-19
Anything is better than being GAY!
Ah, it's so good to see you watching beastiality porn again, my boy!
But Dad, this site keeps going down.
Kinda like that cheerleader on her mule there! heheh
I'm serious, Dad! I may have to go back to watching GAY porn if THIS site goes kaput!
Nonsense, son! MARTHA! Get in here. Our son NEEDS your special kinda convincing, so bring your friendliest German Shepherd!
Oh...it's back up again! Wow dad, can THIS be mom?

 

by JoeBlough
10-03-19
Sorry, but you're just not working out.
You can't fire me! You have to give me another chance!
Nope! And I don't use the term "getting fired" around here! Now pick up your check from my secretary on your way out!
Ya mean she already knows?
Nobody likes to get "fired". I'll get your final check!
He claims he didn't "fire" me. He "canned" me!

 

by JoeBlough
10-03-19
Enjoying the cruise, studly? How's THIS feel?
I WILL, now that you've released my ballsack! I'm calling "Security".
Moments later, Security arrives!
Thumbody call "Thecurity"?
Oy vey!

 

by JoeBlough
10-04-19
Isn't it great, son? Unemployment is at a 50 year low!
Then why can't I find a job?
It isn't that difficult! Even your mother has a high paying job.
What's so darned great about what SHE does?
She SWALLOWS!
I thought that gal on PornHUb looked familiar!

 

by JoeBlough
10-04-19
I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad!
Don't be! He deserved it! He was an unloving ass-hole!
I doubt that! Your mother said he died during hot & heavy sex!
She would.
Sounds pretty loving to me!
I guess. She's a hopeless romantic who loved to watch us.

 

by JoeBlough
10-04-19
I demand my money back!
Sorry but we got a "no refund" policy!
Bullshit! What kinda "clip joint" is this? Gimme the manager!
OK, but he's gonna say the same....
Enter: the Store Manager
Forget it, ass-hole!
...and have a nice day!

 

by JoeBlough
10-05-19
"Rockin' around the Christmas Tree at the Christmas Party Hop..."
Whoa...whoa! Stop the music! Where's the store manager?
I'm Chuck, the Manager. Is there a problem?
Damn right, there is! It's Oct. 5th and yer already pushin' Christmas crap?
So Chuck compromized!
"Well I was working in the lab late one night when my eyes beheld an eerie sight..."
Fuck the Holidays!

 

by JoeBlough
10-05-19
Your checkup looks fine. I just need your temp. My nurse will take it in the next room.
Oh yeah, her! That hot, busty babe with her warm rectal thermometer!
Actually, she's left. My new surgical nurse, Chiba from Japan, will do the honors!
Nurse Chiba, eh? Ya think she'll gimme a full body massage too? hehehe
Massage? HA! Now turn around, drop trow & bend over.
I didn't know "Hattori Hanzo" made thermometers?

 

by JoeBlough
10-06-19
Aha! It appears DBoba & RCLG are going for page domination! Shall I screw up those plans, d_bacon?
Indubitably!
What is this...."Talk Like An Etymology Professor Day?"

 

by JoeBlough
10-06-19
Why you keep Chan & Khan picture over bed?
To remind me of that night long ago when we had sex last!
Don't blame Chen! Me spent the last five years tryin' to get INTO what it took THEM 9 months to get OUT of!
What did you say MISTER?
Feel like talkin bout it"?
Eat shit & DIE!

 

by JoeBlough
10-06-19
Trick or treat!
Buzz off! Yer too old for this shit!
Zat so?
HEY!
I got his "OLD"!
Where'd my beer go?

 

by JoeBlough
10-07-19
Hi there! I'm lookin' to make a buy from a place called "Tegridy Farms".
You a "medical" or a "recreational" user?
Me? I'm an "Information" seeker, only! I "Study" the stuff.
To each his own, I reckon! Go over yonder & see Randy Marsh. He'll fix ya'll up!
But, given time, the truth will out!
Hey Rags, what's with d_bacon? He's stoned out of his mind in the rumpus room, blasting CCR and eating from a 5lb. bag of M&M's?
Not to worry, Deb. He calls that "research"!

 

by JoeBlough
10-07-19
...Alabama Style
Hello, little girl.
Hi. My dad told me to come over & welcome you to the neighborhood.
How nice of him to do so. I may just pop over & introduce myself.
I'll tell him you're coming.
Ya'll was right, daddy! She's black as the ace of spades, and she'll be here any minute!
Turn up the heat on the tar & I'll get the feathers, darlin.

 

by JoeBlough
10-08-19
Todd Phillips searching for "JOKER"
Too "Gacy"!
Too "Bozo"!
Too....
Forget YOU!! I got a call from Andy Marschietti!

 

by JoeBlough
10-08-19
"Beat it! You got the wrong house!"
Open up, I say!
I got a feelin' this won't end good!
Too bad! I got my orders!
Darn it! And "Zillow" said that the "Via Dolorosa" was an upscale and safe street!
Follow me, pal! Wait'll ya get a load of "Golgatha Street"!

 

by JoeBlough
10-09-19
Madam Chen, your food here is exqusite!
I'm so grad you rike it!
It has a flavor all it's own. What's your secret?
Mr. Chen do ALL cooking! He got seclet inglidients!
Here kitty, kitty!
Oh shit!

 

by JoeBlough
10-09-19
Oh please, dear God, let the next customer have a desire to read REAL "Literature" the old fashioned way...through BOOKS!
May I help you, Sir?
Got any "8 Page Bibles"?
Surely you jest?
No? What about "MAD" magazines? And don't call me Shirley!

Showing page 13.

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