All comics by dcomposed

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by dcomposed
3-17-04
What do you know?
Nothing.
Do you want me to have to use scare tactics?
What's scare tactics?
You're on scare tactics.
I KNEW IT! Even though I've never even heard of Scare Tactics and still don't know what it is.

 

by dcomposed
3-17-04
Dear Barely Legal, I'm a virgin who just turned eighteen. Even though I've gone this long without having sex, I'm going to fuck the next guy I see, who is probably a colleague or a relative.
Hey, let's have sex.
Okay, but first I have to urinate.
My mom always told me I should have gone before we left the house.
Just do it here.
Okay.
For a virgin, I sure know how to fuck.
That was hot, now lets fuck for ten minutes.

 

by dcomposed
3-18-04
I'm going to kill you!
NO!
But before I do, let me take off my mask so you can see who I really am.
I could run away while he's doing that, but then I'll never know if he was cute...
It's me, Shannon Doherty! And you're on Scare Tactics!
I KNEW IT!

 

by dcomposed
3-18-04
"brad sings a song by a campfire (rerun)"
BEEEEEEEEEER MAKES TIME DIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
ROCKKK!!!AAQ!
These are the neighbours.

 

by dcomposed
3-20-04
Hello, Josh?
Yes.
This is Eddie McGuire from Who Wants to be a Millionaire. I'm here with Andrew who's playing for one million dollars.
Who are you?
I'm Eddie Guerrero... I mean McGuire.. shit.

 

by dcomposed
3-21-04
your search for 'MikeyG' returned 3 records:
There's not enough comics about me. It must be because people don't notice me.
Or maybe it's because I'm an ANNOYING DUMB, UNFUNNY MOTHERFUCKER and everybody hates me.
CC: 237: Make a comic about me! Love, Mikey.
Now I can get some more comics about me! It'll be the closest I've ever come to having friends!

 

by dcomposed
3-22-04
Chicka, we know you're really Michael Jackson and you like little boys.
OH GOD
For the Record: I am not Michael Jackson, I do not molest little boys and I did not try to master the Moonwalk when I was younger. by attitudechicka 03-22-04
That should stop those rumours.
Oh, hi nate.

 

by dcomposed
3-26-04
Hey, you wanna fuck?
Don't you have a girlfriend?
Oh shit. I knew I forgot something.

 

by dcomposed
3-26-04
Hey anonymous girlfriend, sorry I was gone for so long.
It's alright, it was only a month and a half.
So did you get the milk?
Shit.

 

by dcomposed
3-26-04
I can't trust you to do anything!
That's not true!
You can always trust me to fuck up.

 

by dcomposed
3-26-04
So what happened while I was gone?
Nothing important.
Oh yeah?
Yeah.
I see you've put on a few.

 

by dcomposed
3-26-04
So how's the cunt?
Bleeding, eh?

 

by dcomposed
3-26-04
I'm sorry I asked about your cunt. I just haven't seen it in so long and I missed it.
If we had kids, I would have asked how they were instead.
We do have kids.
Shit.

 

by dcomposed
3-26-04
So where are the kids?
You took them with you.
For fuck's...
We didn't really want them, though. Right?

 

by dcomposed
3-26-04
So do you want me to go look for the kids or should we just make more?
What do think?
I think your hair looks nice.

 

by dcomposed
3-26-04
You think my hair looks nice?
Sure.
Aww...
Go look for the fucking kids!

 

by dcomposed
3-26-04
kids.. kids... where would I find kids?
Aisle three.
Thanks.

 

by dcomposed
3-26-04
I'm in aisle three, but I don't see any kids.
Hey, have you seen any kids around here?
Nope.
Wanna fuck then?

 

by dcomposed
3-26-04
You asked me that like three hours ago and you couldn't because you already had a girlfriend.
I think we broke up now, though.

 

by dcomposed
3-26-04
So do you want to fuck?
No.
Come on...
No.
I'll be your best friend.
I wouldn't fuck my best friend anyway.

 

by dcomposed
3-26-04
I should be getting home to my girlfriend anyway.
I thought you broke up.
No, I was just trying to get you to fuck.
So do you want to yet?

 

by dcomposed
3-26-04
I couldn't find the kids anywhere.
That's because we don't have any.
Makes sense.

 

by dcomposed
3-26-04
Wait.. why would you tell me we had kids when we don't?
It's not like you've never lied to me.
I haven't!
Oh yeah?
Well, maybe when you kept complaining about being fat and I said you weren't.

 

by dcomposed
3-31-04
Hmm... I forgot what we were talking about.
Me too.
I guess that's what happens when you get banned in the middle of a series.

 

by dcomposed
3-31-04
This is awkward.

 

by dcomposed
3-31-04
Maybe I should say something...
So how are the kids?

 

by dcomposed
3-31-04
brad really broke your series, huh?
Yup, I don't even know what it's about anymore.
Did you ever?

 

by dcomposed
3-31-04
If you ever want to see me naked again, you'd better do something funny.
Well, do you?
I'm thinking.

 

by dcomposed
3-31-04
hmm...
I want to see her naked, but she's a fat chick, so I don't really care if I never do.
There. I opened the door.

 

by dcomposed
3-31-04
That wasn't funny.
Yes it was.
No it wasn't.
Takes one to know one.

 

by dcomposed
3-31-04
Let's go ask someone who's an expert on what's funny, then.
Fine.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAH
See, I told you it was funny.
That's not fair, of course Phil Giroux is going to laugh!

 

by dcomposed
3-31-04
Thanks for that, Phil.
I also do personalised answering machine messages.
Hey, did you realise you stole the title for this series from MC Face, and then stole me from the Tom Green Show to appear in it?
No, Phil, I don't even read my own comics.

 

by dcomposed
4-01-04
Hey, where'd your girlfriend go?
Shit.

 

by dcomposed
4-01-04
Not here...
Or here...
Or... have I already looked here?

 

by dcomposed
4-01-04
I'm never going to see my girlfriend again.
Maybe you should look in more than two rooms.
Oh yeah.

 

by dcomposed
4-01-04
There you are!
Yup.
I was so scared, where'd you go?
The bathroom.
Don't you ever do that to me again.

 

by dcomposed
4-01-04
Canada is shit.
Yeah. Did we really have to come all this way just to see Phil Giroux?
Yes.
It was essential to the plot.

 

by dcomposed
4-01-04
So now that we're here, what do you want to do?
We could-
OH GOD.
What?
Turn around and walk slowly toward the door.
Why? Am I on Scare Tactics?

 

by dcomposed
4-01-04
Don't ask questions, we just need to get out of here before it's too late.
Not until you tell me what's going on.
Arg, it's too late. He's seen us.
Hi! dcom! It's me, BigEvilDan!

 

by dcomposed
4-01-04
So.. Dan... I wouldn't expect to see you in Canada.
Yeah, I wouldn't either.
Except for I LIVE HERE.

 

by dcomposed
4-01-04
Is your girlfriend gone again?
Yeah.
Cool.

 

by dcomposed
4-01-04
You gonna go look for her?
Nah.
Cool.

 

by dcomposed
4-02-04
So what's up, dcom?
I think I'm gonna quit stripcreator for a bit.
What, now?
Yep.

 

by dcomposed
4-02-04
What are you waiting for?
For you to shut up!

 

by dcomposed
4-02-04

 

by dcomposed
4-02-04
There, I shut up. Are you leaving now?
No.

 

by dcomposed
4-02-04
But you promised.
I promised you mom!
So where is she?

 

by dcomposed
4-02-04
Over there.
Where?
Mommy...

 

by dcomposed
4-02-04
Thank god I finally got away from that Dan guy.
Oh, hey dcom. We must have got seperated somehow.

 

by dcomposed
4-02-04
Hey, Dan. You ever find your mom?
No..
There she is over there.
Where?

Showing page 13.

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