All comics by dcomposed

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by dcomposed
12-31-01

 

by dcomposed
12-31-01
Go away, squirrel.
Thank you.

 

by dcomposed
12-31-01
I wonder what it would be like to sit over there...
This is pretty cool.
I thought I told you to fuck off.

 

by dcomposed
1-02-02
One day at the ranch...
So I says, "Well, them rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!"
WHAT?

 

by dcomposed
1-02-02
At santas workshop...
I would like to be having sex with you reindeer
If you do not comply so will no longer be able to guuide my sleigh
WHAT?

 

by dcomposed
1-02-02
Well rudolph, It would appear that all this time you wer my arch nemisis, clappy
Thats right, and after I kill you I will rape all you reindeer
NOOOOOOOO! you cant do that, those reindeer, there mylife
yeah well soon you wont have a life
youll never get away with this.......
Oh yes I am

 

by dcomposed
1-02-02
The reindeer will never let my have sex with them if I'm a paper clip
I have an Idea
All I need is this cool santa costume, wich i got from wallmart at a low, low price

 

by dcomposed
1-02-02
Reindeer! Get your ass over here
How about If I spread holiday cheer all over your sexy, sexy body and then lick it off
Excuse me?
Shut youre mouth woman, I'm getting horny, bend over so i can have sex with your anus
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, your not santa!

 

by dcomposed
1-02-02
WHAT? how did you know?
Your suit says wallmart on it, Santa gets his suit from the dumpster outside the toy store
ok you got me, It was me all along, and now I will suck on your heaving breasts
AHHHHH, You bastard, you gored me!
Oops, my bad

 

by dcomposed
1-02-02
You sure did a good job killing that fake santa eh
yeah, but something still seems wrong
oh, I know what it is eh, its theres no santa anymore eh
Yes, what happened to the real santa
I dont know eh, maybe we should go look for him eh
what a bloody good idea

 

by dcomposed
1-02-02
The reindeer looked eveywhere but the couldn't find santa
He's not under the phone eh
Dixon, Dixon, come here I've found him, It says on the news that santa was found dead
Well what are we going to do now Dixon
I dont know, we could hire a new santa eh

 

by dcomposed
1-02-02
And why do you think you would be the best santa?
If I get job, I will sucky sucky for cheap price
I'm sorry we dont allow smoking in the work area
damn
ok mr squirrel, you were the most qualified of all of these bastards, youre our new santa
oh thank you, all those years of playing an elf in the christmas play have payed off

 

by dcomposed
1-02-02
Well, we got a new santa
but something still seems wrong eh
Get to work you lazy bastard, or ill assrape you again!
Yes Sir
Close enough
I'm canadian eh

 

by dcomposed
1-03-02
This was made on 01-04-02. Before the zombie character!
OMGH4X
Anyway, comic number 50,000 on my first week here, go me.

 

by dcomposed
1-06-02
Goat.
Chicken.
Goat.
Chicken.
Goat.
What's really pathetic is this is one of dcomposed best comics.

 

by dcomposed
1-10-02
Hey clango, Im pregnant
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! i'm not ready to be a father
I never said you were the father
Oh thats good
But you are
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

by dcomposed
1-10-02
Well, that shut the bitch up.

 

by dcomposed
1-10-02
All you ever do Is sit on that bench, you never do anything with me. Your only using me for sex. I dont need you I can get any guy I want
I love you
oh gabe, do me, do me now
you like that dont you bitch

 

by dcomposed
1-11-02
I just found out you're fucking my sister
yeah, shes good
Fuck you, I'm leaving you
k, bye
I miss gabe, I hope he wants me back

 

by dcomposed
1-16-02
im feeling horny, its time for sex hoar
bend over and you will be cornholed by tobor
We've had sex so much that it seems like a chore
just shutup bitch and get on the floor
Burma Shave
ho!

 

by dcomposed
1-22-02
As you can see it's not a very lively club
have a beer?
nah

 

by dcomposed
1-24-02
Dad can I watch TV
I don't know, can you?
I'm Hungry
I'm Dad
Dammit dad your pissing me off
thats it, no desert

 

by dcomposed
2-22-02
Got my saddle, all I need now is a horse.
and 3 hookers

 

by dcomposed
2-22-02
Got my saddle, all I need now is a horse.
and a bottle of scotch

 

by dcomposed
2-22-02
Got my saddle, all I need now is a horse.
and the head of a preacher

 

by dcomposed
4-23-02
I told you before! we don't allow killers to work for the lord.
I don't know what your talking about, I'm not a cigarette, I'm a human!
how do you explain the fire?
oops, I farted.
get out.
this looks like a job for...... Captain Blaspheme

 

by dcomposed
4-23-02
Your time has come old man, we've put up with yor shit long enough. were sending you back to where you came from!
no! you can't!
yes I can, I'm overnight mailing you to Boston.
noooooooooo. my. very. own. child. has. decieved me.
you know he could get back from boston, and even if he doesnt Cough&Choke will work for us.
do I need to take you out too? were the big cats around here now, we have the power to do whatever we want. and I say we buy religon, then we can get Cough&Choke off our backs.

 

by dcomposed
4-23-02
It's my old running partner, Scoop Doggy doo.
you been had man, theres no free tacos, it was a trap.
what you talkin bout? I was sent here by my old posse, the cuntichys. can you help me get home?
maybe if yuo smack around my balls for a bit we can work something out.
He's coming back! we can dispose of him, the priest and all obese children and make it look like a gay circle jerk gone horribly wrong!
yeah you do that, i'm gonna go get some more of the priests 'holy water'.

 

by dcomposed
4-23-02
elwood, its been a long time since the accident, I see your head grew back ok. I need you to help me to despose of those retched cuntitchys. what do you say?
I say were on a mission from god.
father, this body just came in from boston, he looks in bad conditon.
He's dead you fool, and he is decomposed into a skeleton!
JESUS! oh, sorry lord. It's the body of the don, hes dead!
moh!

 

by dcomposed
4-23-02
I have set a trap, he will fall in the hole and I will use my big ass feet to jump on him and I then rape his dead body.
hi ho/ hi ho/ its off to kill I go
meanwhile in hell.....
its thursday night, I think thats your night for the Hells Angels club
blues night? oh you mean,,,,, I'm not gay, bend over and I will show you.
yes, come too me, I will not harm you, I am sorry I sent you away to Boston, I meant to say Austin, youve always wanted to go to Austin
ok ill be right there............. ARGHHHHHHH

 

by dcomposed
4-23-02
I will kill you, ill shoot you 7 thousand times if I have to.
fool, you can;t kill a robot. I am made of lead, like the bullets from your gun.
ok ok If you really want, I can let you live, but you have to join the cuntitchys as our personal killerbot.
sounds good. count me in.
how do we get out of hell again?
you take a left at the impergarden, go past the blood brewery take another left at the torture machines turn right at the 666th street motel and you will see an elevator. or you take the scenic route.

 

by dcomposed
4-23-02
My arch nemisis! tobor!
TOBOR IS NOT ROBOTS ARCH NEMISIS! TOBOR AND ROBOT NEVER MET BEFORE!
well, as the sole cuntitchy I feel it is my duty to teall you your penetration devise is leaking white oil.
AHHHHHHH I AM DIEING!
they really are droping like flies today.
*swoosh* Brot steckt! Hitler is here! and I shall take over not only your empire but THE EARTH!

 

by dcomposed
4-24-02
I hate smokers, get out.
what are you going to do if I dont?
I'll bloody smoke you is what I'll do now bugger off.
but then you will be a smoker.
read the badge, asshole, myname is Captain Hypocrite.

 

by dcomposed
4-24-02
you delcare war on everything, you better stop with the declaring of the war there my good man.
I am the president of the younighted states of america I can do what I want when I want.
I hate people who decalre war on things it is so stupid i hate you, man, I hate you and everything you stand for!
yeah?
yeah! and I declare war on you!
you are a fool.

 

by dcomposed
4-24-02
you look funny.

 

by dcomposed
4-24-02
my favorite site!
nakeduglymen.com forum
*I am a gay man and I like looking at naked ugly men.com*
what a faggot!

 

by dcomposed
4-24-02
My daughter tells me you've been bullying her.
haha yeah she is smelly.
so you like to pick on people smaller than you do you? I hate when people do that!
they cant fight back.
I'm going to kick your ass!
shit

 

by dcomposed
4-24-02
It's not right to use animals as transport.
This is my army issused horse, sir.
and it's worse to use them in war.
dont hate the player dude, hate the game
now where did I leave my cat drawn carraige?

 

by dcomposed
4-30-02
daddy the school bully called me a bonehead!
haha!
why is taht funny?
your head is a bone, numbskull!
your not being very helpful.
moh!

 

by dcomposed
5-02-02
jesus.
satan.
well this is gonna be a long year.

 

by dcomposed
5-07-02
*doorbell*
not another flaming bag. ill just step on it to put it out.........ah crap, its crap.

 

by dcomposed
5-09-02
I call to order first meeting of no pants club!
this club is crap.
why, im not wearing any pants, can I join your club?
no, piss off you skirt wearing freak.
know where was I? oh yeah, so the two pretzels wear walking down the street and one was a salted.
how would you like to make this a no underwear club?

 

by dcomposed
5-27-02
That John Wayne Gacy fucker ruined the whole clown thing, it's no fun at all. perents don't trust me with there kids anymore.
Ha Ha! wait, what the fuck are you talking about?
Everyone is too scared that I will have sex with there children and kill them.
damn, thats harsh.
I've got the police watching me, just waiting for me to slip up.
you'll really be fucked if they find all those 8 year old boy corpses under your house.

 

by dcomposed
5-28-02
Hey, ObiJo!
remember me? it's Maura!
we spent a night together 5 years ago at your birthday party.
I'm here today because i have a suprise for you....
daddy!

 

by dcomposed
5-28-02
Maura, did you jus give our daughter to ObiJo?
yes, I told him it was his daughter.
all is right with the world

 

by dcomposed
5-28-02
Make love to me Clango, make love to me like when we were in High School.
the next morning
that sure was fun...
Clango, I have some bad news.

 

by dcomposed
5-28-02
How many times have you got Maura pregnent now?
seventy five.
I'm going to get you some condoms for christmas.
that's a good idea.
and then I'm gonna use 'em on your daughter.

 

by dcomposed
6-05-02
7.....8.....9.....10.....11.....
.....97.....98.....99.....100
RAAAAAAAAAAAAR! TOBOR WILL FIND YOU!

 

by dcomposed
6-14-02
I love my daughter.

 

by dcomposed
6-14-02
have a beer, Sally.
come on, take you're pants off, you'll enjoy it.
you the reason your mother left us.

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