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All comics by edoggydog

 

Groovy! 607 by edoggydog 9-15-05
...and, over there is where I surprised the hunter, and caused him to accidently shoot off his foot! Groovy!	So, to answer your earlier question... My name is Randolph, but my friends call me "Fifty Cents"... Why is that?	'Cuz I'm "half a buck"! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA [snort] Oh, DEER! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA [snort]

 

Groovy! De-emphasizePositive by edoggydog 9-15-05
"Go ahead. Ask a gay man anything..." Groovy!	"Dear Fag... People think I'm gay because I dress like a French guy, and I cite poetry while playing the bongos. Plus, I listen to Air America. Am I gay?"	"Yes, It would seem that you are, in fact, gay. Additionally, you appear to be a FUCKING IDIOT!" Snap!

 

Groovy! 609 by edoggydog 9-17-05
Dude... We got a some more letters from our readers... Groovy!	This letter from Big FrankV05 points out that at the end of any of our really lame comics, we add a bunch of "HAHAs" to try and make it funnier. The lamer the comic, the more of them we add... Well... In HIS case, we can change "HAHA" to "MAMA"!	MAMAMAMAMAMA MAMAMAMAMAMA MAMAMAMAMAMA MAMAMAMAMAMA MAMAMAMAMAMA MAMAMAMAMAMA MAMAMAMAMAMA MAMAMAMAMAMA MAMAMAMAMAMA MAMAMAMAMAMA MAMAMAMAMAMA MAMAMAMAMAMA MAMAMAMAMAMA MAMAMAMAMAMA MAMAMAMAMAMA MAMAMAMAMAMA MAMAMAMAMAMA MAMAMAMAMAMA MAMAMAMAMAMA MAMAMAMAMAMA

 

Groovy! (I'd be in the NBA at this height!) by edoggydog 9-18-05
...then, I says, "Why, yes. Polly does wants a cracker! With a slice a brie and a Perrier with a twist." Groovy!	Anyhoo... I was watching NFL football this morning, and after a Jaguar made a great play, the anouncer said he did it with such "gumshoe". I mean, what does being a private eye have to do with it? The word's "gumption", saltine-breath!	Really? Never mind... P'shaw!

 

Groovy! 611 by edoggydog 9-18-05
Dude... I met this hot chick named Trisha last week! Groovy!	Then, my gal-pal, Betsy, tells me that Trisha's kind of slutty... Yeah..?	I think in Betsy's mind, she was "warning" me. In my mind, I'm thinking, "Thanks for the tip!" You go, boyyy!

 

Groovy! 612 by edoggydog 9-19-05
You know... I've been doing a lot of pondering lately about my life, and the American lifestyle. Groovy!	I decided I'm going to leave this country because everything here is about WINNING and LOSING! Where will you go?	Thailand! I hear they play a lot of Tic-Tac-Toe there!

 

Groovy! 613 by edoggydog 9-19-05
So, when my priest asked me if I'm bisexual, I said,"Yes! Just ask Sister Hoolihan!" Groovy!	The fact of the matter is that I'm really "trisexual"... Trisexual?	Yeah... I'll "try" anything! Sha-wing, batter!

 

Groovy! 614 by edoggydog 9-22-05
Ooh! Check out Mrs. Pennynipple! God, I'd love to have my face be the ass-gasket in the toilet seat of her life! Groovy!	By the way... Do you know the difference between black pussy and a bowling ball? I haven't the foggiest...	You could eat a bowling ball if you had to! Shut yo' mouth!

 

Groovy! 615 by edoggydog 9-25-05
People all over the world... Groovy!	...join in... Unity baby!	...I've gotta love cock, LOVE COCK! ?!?

 

Groovy! 616 by edoggydog 9-26-05
...and, with all that talk about jerkin' the yerkin', I got so horny, I drank a case of Ultra and whacked off! Groovy!	Hey, have you noticed that when you go to El Pollo, and place an order for chicken, they ask if you want an icecream cone? Won't it melt while you're eating the chicken..?	I mean, who thought up this stupid- wait a second! You usually walk away whenever I go on one of these boring rants! What's going on? I stepped in some fresh spooge and my foot's stuck!

 

Groovy! 617 by edoggydog 9-26-05
...so, then I asked the skank, "Do you gag on bones, bitch?" Groovy!	What did YOU do this weekend? I saw that movie, "Flight Plan". I thought the premise was good, but there was a point in the movie when it became totally unbelievable...	Really..? When? Right after the opening credits!

 

Groovy! 618 by edoggydog 9-27-05
Y'know... Men are like parking spaces because most of the good ones have already been taken! Groovy!	Well, you know... Women, too, are like parking spaces...	Really? Why? Because they're FUCKING WHORES!

 

Groovy! 619 by edoggydog 9-27-05
That's it! I'm going 40 days without yankin' my crankin'! Groovy!	So... Is your abstaining from self-pleasure stem from some sort of tantric spirituality?	No... I'm left-handed! D'oh!

 

Groovy! 620 by edoggydog 10-02-05
...so, then I says, "Those rotating bourbons aren't going to drink themselves!" Groovy!	Anyhoo... I was just watching the 49ers play the Cardinals in Mexico City in front of 100,000 screaming fans... Yeah?	I haven't seen that many Mexicans at an NFL game since the Raiders last played in Los Angeles! Ole!

 

Groovy! 620 Redux by edoggydog 10-02-05
...so, then I says, "Those rotating toilet seats aren't going to radiate graphic studio art in France without the help of penguins!" Groovy! (I think)	Anywayz... I was just watching the 49ers play the Cardinals in Mexico City in front of 100,000 screaming fans... Really?	I haven't seen that many Mexicans amassed in one place since I was a Minute Man on the the southern border! No me digas!

 

Groovy! CC: 299 by edoggydog 10-04-05
Okay... Now that we're all alone here in the restroom, I want us to brainstorm on how we can win CC:299... Groovy!	Well? Got any ideas? Not a one!	You SUCK!! Yeah? Atleast I don't SWALLOW like flipynif1! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

Groovy! CC: 299 -Part Deux by edoggydog 10-04-05
Fighting with each other is not helping us brainstorm a winning strategery for CC: 299. Let's bury the hatchet and move on... Groovy!	I think we need to run a positive campaign, extoling all the virtues of "Groovy!", and how chosing us for CC:300 would be a benefit for not only Stripcreator.com, but for all mankind! What say you?	Well..? ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

 

Groovy! CC: 299 Parto Tres by edoggydog 10-05-05
...so, then I tells the cracker, "Those asses aren't going to have caps busted up in them all by themselves you know!" Groovy!	Getting back to your original question of why there's a month of appreciation for blacks, but not for whites. Well- No, wait! I know the answer... I appreciate being white EVERYDAY!	Ha, ha! Very funny... But, what does this comic have to do with CC: 299? Nothing! Those suckholes will never vote for us anyways...

 

Groovy! CC: 299 Audi Quattro by edoggydog 10-05-05
"...BECAUSE I FUCKING SAID SO!!" Groovy!	Later that day in the pumpkin patch... I tell you, that Random Comic feller is HEE-larious! I think we should vote for him to host- Uh, Dude... I think our "dirty little secret' is out. You better go look at the website again!	"Anyone who hasn't figured out that edoggydog and the RCLOG are the same person is a dumbass! - Hazy Newhomey" You... You... DICK!!

 

Groovy! - CC: 299 Numero Stinko by edoggydog 10-06-05
Dude... The NHL is back! They played their first games in over a year last night... Groovy!	But, what I don't understand is that I heard there's a team in Chicago called the "Black Cocks"! I mean, isn't that name a little racist towards African-Americans? The name of the team is "Black HAWKS", bird brain!	This was just an example of the type of "high brow" humor we do here at "Groovy!" Vote for us for CC: 300! YAY!!

 

Groovy! CC: 299 It be SIX and shit! by edoggydog 10-06-05
That's IT! I'm going 40 days without jerkin' my yerkin'. Starting NOW! Groovy!		Uh... That was the last comic contest, bonehead!

 

Groovy! 628 by edoggydog 10-07-05
Quad-sexual! Groovy!	*Groovy! 613 dated 9/20/05 Say... I got one for you: what do you call a stripper who plagarizes my "tri-sexual" joke*?	I don't know... What? A homo-sexual!

 

Groovy! 629 by edoggydog 10-07-05
...so, that's why a make my bitches gargle with pineapple juice before they give me a handjob! Groovy!	Anyhoo... I was in Bloomingdale's last night and I found this dope shirt. Take a guess on what the price was for it... How much?	$245! $245 for a measly shirt? They should name that store, "BLOWMEdale's"!

 

Groovy! CC: 299 Seven, pay the line! by edoggydog 10-07-05
...sho, I shays, [hic] "Them ain't ping pong ballsh, if you know what I mean!" [burp] Groovy!	Shay... Have you [hic] kept up with she-she: 299? [burp] You know, the winner getsh to hosht she-she: 300! [braaaaaaapp!] I know... Did you see that lame-ass comic by flicknsniff about "middle-of-the-road ree-pelicans"?	Yeshhh! [HIC!] And, jusht thinking about it is making me shick! BAAAAAARRRRFF!! I better leave before I get shick!

 

Groovy! CC: 299 Eight is Enough! (or is it?) by edoggydog 10-07-05
This comic is based on an actual PM exchange with flipynif1. (Clango will play the part of flipynif1) ...so, to answer your question: no, I am not gay! Groovy!	I have have too many kids to be a fag! Well, you know... A lot of homosexuals have many children to try and hide their latent homosexual tendencies!	Damn! I've been found out! I mean... Just look at Tom Cruise! Late...

 

Groovy! 632 by edoggydog 10-07-05
Boy... That last comic was fun! I really enjoyed playing the part of "flipynif1"! Groovy!	Anyhoo... I've been pondering something, and I hope you can answer a question I have... Fire away!	Is a man's home REALLY his castle? In a "manor" of speaking! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Late...

 

Groovy! CC: 299 (with additional apologies to retard) by edoggydog 10-07-05
...and, it was at that point I decided it was best I keep my mouth shut because, well, he was hung like a cattle-rustler, and I'm an "oral virgin", if you know what I mean... Which brings me to my next subject regarding plants... I mean, how do they keep growing without a brain? Speaking of Iraq, I can't seem to get rid of this migraine in my head...	I guess one could call it an "illegal im-migraine"! Ha, ha... But, in the end, all you can do is your best, unless your name is Denver (John or Bob) because you're dead... Speaking of dead, did you see the look on Kerry's face when he found out he lost the election? Neither did I... And, I hear that the penguins in the Antartic don't really "march"...	....so the movie was all bullshit! Anyhoo... That's why I'm voting for edoggydog to host CC: 300! Groovy!

 

Groovy! CC: 299 The Last Strawberry! by edoggydog 10-07-05
...so, then I says to my wife, "Spaghetti AGAIN? I've eaten so much pasta lately, I've got noodles growing out of the front of my head!" Groovy!	So... I guess this is it: your last chance at swaying the judges, and winning CC:299... Yes, Mr. Chikabuh (or however you pronounce your name)...	It's pronounced CTHULHU... Just like it's spelled! Got it, dipshit?! I think you just swayed the judges over to mmeyers, twat-face!

 

Groovy! CC: 299 - Epilogue by edoggydog 10-08-05
Well... CC: 299 is over, and we lost. All because you abused the word "groovy"... Good job, bonehead! Groovy!	WILL YOU QUIT SAYING GROOVY, FOR FUCKSSAKE?! Groovy!	"WE INTERRUPT THIS LAME-ASS EXCHANGE FOR A CHANNEL 3 NEWS UP-BRIEF..." Controversy rocked the on-line website, "Strip-creator.com" today! Turns out mandingo was involved with flickguy in some kind of gay love tryst, which led to him winning CC:299... That's right, Dwayne... One stripper named attitudechicka was heard to say she felt ripped off because she sucked some major dick, and all she got was an "honorable mention"!

 

Groovy! CC: 300 - If they mated... by edoggydog 10-09-05
...so, today I got an e-mail from some guy on "Batch.com". He goes by the nickname "Noodle-face", but, I'm so horny, I'll fuck ANYTHING at this point! Groovy!	...so, then I e-mail some skank by the name "gratitudeflicka" and she actually agreed to meet me at a Motel 6 downtown! Groovy!	Nine months later... Goo! GAH!!

 

Groovy! CC: 300 - If they mated (in the most basic form) by edoggydog 10-09-05
		Groovy!

 

Groovy! CC: 300 (can't stop the mating process!) by edoggydog 10-10-05
Someone tells a mildly amusing joke and gets a postive response... So, dude... Do you know why mermaids wear seashells? Because, "B-shells" are too small! Yuk, yuk! Groovy!	Then, one day he happens upon a website at work... Cool!	...and another shlock cartoonist on Stripcreator.com is born! "...because 'B-shells' are too small! Yuk, yuk!" This website sucky-sucky... LONG TIME!!

 

Groovy! 639 by edoggydog 10-10-05
Dude... Did you hear that gabe_billings is making a comeback to Stripcreator.com? Groovy!		Who?

 

Groovy! CC: 300 (an homage to cpausti) by edoggydog 10-10-05
Dude... I heard about this great piece of "ass" across town that's a sure thing! I hear she really goes for two-fers! Groovy!	Hello, boys!	Whoopsie! YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!

 

Groovy! CC: 300 - I've got Crabs! by edoggydog 10-11-05
...so, I get an e-mail from someone named, "Crabby", but from the picture, I can't tell if it's a man or a woman! Anyhoo... I'm supposed to meet he/she at a Motel 6 tonight... Groovy!	I can't babysit tonight, Crabby... I have plans! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE, SPANKLING! HE'S YOUR SON, TOO! I HAVE A HOT DATE, AND A CHANCE AT FINALLY GETTING LAID AFTER TWO YEARS!!	The next morning... I couldn't go through with it! That bad, huh?

 

Groovy! CC: 300- Holly Holy Shit! by edoggydog 10-11-05
Dude... I'm meeting up with some skank named Holly tonight. I hear she's a real "ball-breaker", but I'll show her who's boss! Groovy!	Hiiiiiiii-YA!	So... How'd it go last night? Not [oomph] well...

 

Groovy! 643 by edoggydog 10-11-05
...so, then she tells me her "maternal alarm clock" just went off. To wit I said, "Better hit the snooze button, bitch!" Groovy!	Besides, I told her that I have my own "fraternal clock"... Umm... Explain please.	I need one blowjob every twenty-four hours! Ah, gee... Look at the time! Must be leaving! Gotta go! Late for, for, for whatever!

 

Groovy! CC: 300 - Feeling the 'Heat' by edoggydog 10-11-05
"Dude... I have a blinddate with someone named, "Shaqweel". (I'm assuming she's a she.) Anyhoo, she'll be here any minute. Wish me luck, if you know what I mean! -Brad" Groovy!	DING, DONG! Who is it? It's me, Shaqweel, Brad!	"Did she come last night?" And, then some!

 

Groovy! CC: 300 - Mucho Mas Evolucion Explicaste by edoggydog 10-11-05
Sure... I'll tell you how they came into existence... Groovy!	"About 900 years ago, my ancestors traveled to America. Being six months removed from their women, and consequently extremely horny, well, they had to 'make do' with what was available..." Where you going, Elsa? Out on a date with Sven, dad...	"And, the rest is history!" GOOOOOOAAAAL!! GOOOOOOAAAAL!!

 

Groovy! 646 by edoggydog 10-11-05
A typical day in the mortgage business... ...so, then I says, "Marry me, bitch, and you can have all gravitons you want from self-generating rotor turbines!" Groovy!	Anyhoo... I like you're numbers and I'm going to take other offers, but, rest assured, I will call you back before I make any final decisions. Trust me... Yeah. Whatever...	No, seriously! I WILL call you! It may be a couple days before I do, but on the eyes of my children, I promise that I'll call you! I swear! So... In other words, you're not going to call me, are you?

 

Groovy! CC: 300 ( I wrote this at 3:22am. Sorry.) by edoggydog 10-12-05
Then, I says, "You wanna keep my 'bone' out of it?" Groovy!	I got you a birthday present, so bend over bitch! I hope it's a ninja suit!	Shut the fuck up, Gene, and BEND OVER!! I hope it's one of those groovy ninja suits!

 

Groovy! CC: 300- Goathead's Soup by edoggydog 10-12-05
Groovy!	Baa-aa-aa!	It was worth it!

 

Groovy! CC: 300 - A Fish Tail by edoggydog 10-12-05
Dude... I have some work to finish on the computer. Why don't you go grab a beer, and check out my giant aquarium in the living room... Groovy!	(Eight beers later...) Gee... [*hic*] That red fishy ish kinda cute! [*burp*] ?!?	Daddy! GAH!!

 

Groovy! Six-fitty by edoggydog 10-12-05
This actually happened to me this morning... "You have new mail @ Plentyof-bitches.com" Groovy!	"Hi 'Steaming-manluv'... I saw your profile and I just wanted to say that you and I are not a good fit. Sorry." Who is this? I never even contacted her...	Oh, great! Now I'm recieving pre-emptive rejection e-mail!

 

Groovy! CC: 300 - Burn, baby, BURN! by edoggydog 10-12-05
I'm telling you dude... I hear she's HOT! Just go over there and I promise you'll get laid! Groovy!	[knock, knock] Come in...	So... Was she hot? HOT?? That bitch was on FIRE!

 

Groovy! The-Fuck-If-I-Know Goblin (the next CC?) by edoggydog 10-13-05
What say we go back to my place for an intimate, candle-lit dinner, followed by a sensual massage, then me strapping on a dildo and drilling you in the ass?		Groovy!

 

Groovy! 652 by edoggydog 10-13-05
...and, that's the real reason why my face keeps showing up in burnt cheese toast. Groovy!	Anyhoo... As far as your prayer request, it has been denied due to newly unearthed information about you and what you did with that baby kitten when you were fourteen! How the hell did he find out about that? Hmmm. There's only one other person who knows...

 

Groovy! 653 by edoggydog 10-14-05
"KAUFMAN: Here's one for you..." Groovy!	"Did you hear about the computer that died? It had "terminal illness"! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA" God! I HATE puns!	Ahhh... I feel much better!

 

Groovy! 654 by edoggydog 10-16-05
So, I was watching Texas Hold'em Poker last night, And I learned a new term called a "race situation"... Groovy!	It's where two players have gone all in, and both hands are about equal, so it's a "race" to see who wins by the time all the community cards are turned up... Cool... Y'know, I have my own "race situation". It's when I'm taking a piss, and right before I start flowing, I flush the toilet and try to finish peeing before the bowl empties!	What?

 

Groovy! 655 by edoggydog 10-16-05
...then Lienart backed his way into the end zone, and the Trojans won! YAY!! Groovy!	Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to pee... For chrissakes, dude! I don't want to watch you do that. Go pee behind that building over there for some privacy!	?

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